Nobody's Angel (28 page)

"I was really beginning to worry," she said. "I waited breakfast."

This was part of our Sunday ritual. She would fix breakfast while I took a shower, and then we would retire to the bedroom.

But today, I didn't want a shower or food. I led her straight to the bedroom. "Eddie!" she cried, but she followed along.

I closed the door behind us. "Let me ask you something," I said.

"Well I see you're wide awake this morning."

"Have you ever had your bare bottom spanked on a Sunday morning?" I asked, but I didn't wait for an answer. "Do you like that?" I asked after a while.

"It's okay." She didn't sound very excited. "If you like it."

I had to confess, it wasn't doing much for me either. Eventually, we switched to our old, familiar ways.

We drifted along, just going through the motions of love. And then everything faded except for a smiling black kid with blue ribbons on the end of her braids. She unzipped her jacket and opened it slowly to expose tiny, flawless breasts.

"Beautiful dead girl," I heard myself say and we came to a sudden stop.

"Say what?" Betty said, and I opened my eyes and she was staring straight into them.

I couldn't think of anything to say. All I could do was gaze into the glistening darkness of her eyes. Beyond my own dim reflection was a sadness I'd never noticed before. It was as remote, as untouchable as the moon.

"Eddie, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I managed to say.

"You sure?"

"Sure," I said.

She reached for a cigarette. "You seem different."

"No, baby. Same old me." It was sad but true. I was nobody's angel.

She blew a stream of smoke my way. "What was all that?"

"Huh?"

"What you said before."

"You're my beautiful girl," I said.

She fixed me with that same dark gaze, and I could read the one-word reply ready on her lips. But then her face softened. "What a lovely lie," she whispered, and she dropped the cigarette in an ashtray and pulled me close.

We stayed like that for a long time and then we started up again, a middle-aged couple, pale and overweight, humping away on a beautiful Sunday morning.

The shades were pulled tight against the daylight.

Nobody was going anywhere.

FOR YOUR SAFETY

PLEASE EXIT

ON CURB SIDE

ONLY