No More Wasted Time (36 page)

“You can get new gear if you want.”

“I like my stuff. It’s almost brand new. I don’t need to
stay there long. I’m ready to go home, to the cabin.”

“You’re home right now too, Tess, in Malibu.”

“I know,” she paused. “I want to make my home our home. I
need to go through my closet. When Richard died, I couldn’t bring myself to go
through his things, but I’m ready now.”

“Are you sure you’re ready for that?” he asked nicely.

“You’re my husband now. You keep telling me, ‘What’s yours
is mine.’ I want to be able to say the same thing. I’m mentally ready to go
through his things. I simply haven’t had the time yet. I don’t mind staying
there for a night or two, and I need to change a few things. It’s important to
me, Tom. I need to do this. I want you to feel as comfortable there as I feel
here.”

“I know it won’t be easy for you. I’m assuming you’d prefer
to go through his things by yourself, but if you’d like some help, even if it’s
just for moral support, I’ll help you.”

“Thanks.”

They flew to Vegas two days later. It comforted Tess to be
home, but at the same time, it seemed awkward. This had always been her home
with Richard.

As they walked through the door, John beamed. “We have a
surprise for you. All of us wanted to be here to give this to you, but we
weren’t expecting you to come home yet. It’s a late wedding gift.” John led
them to the hallway where Tess' favorite family pictures hung. “We thought it
was time to add to the wall.”

Fifteen pictures from their wedding, Greece and Bora Bora
hung on the opposite side of the hallway. Most of the photos were of Tess and
Tom, but they added several of all of them together as a family. Tears
immediately stung her eyes and Tom stared in awe at the wall.

“I can’t believe you did this! I love it. How did you get
these?” Tom asked.

“Shayla helped us get the pictures. We pretty much stole
them, but we put them back,” John admitted.

Tom put his arm around John, squeezing his shoulder. “I
don’t even know what to say,” he choked.

Tess could see how moved Tom was by the gift, he was
speechless. Her children understood how important family snapshots were to
Tess. The gesture of adding Tom to the family wall meant more to her than words
of acceptance ever could.

“New addition to the family, new addition to the wall. We
thought you’d like it.” John said matter-of-factly.

Tess put her arms around John. “I’m truly touched.” She
brushed away the tears leaking from her eyes.

“We knew you’d love it. I have to get back to work. Maybe we
can go out to dinner together.” He shook Tom’s hand, hugged his mom and headed
out the door.

Tom and Tess stood in the hallway with their arms around
each other. “This might possibly be the nicest thing anybody has ever done for
me,” Tom said quietly, staring at the photos.

Tess could only smile. It was exactly what she needed. Home
would be wherever she and Tom were together. They’d left her Camaro at the
cabin, but Richard’s truck sat parked in the garage. She grabbed the keys and
tossed them to Tom.

“Would you mind getting me some boxes?” 

“Right now? Are you sure?”

“I’m one hundred percent sure. I’m ready.” She smiled
poignantly. “I’d feel better if I could do this alone though.”

Tess knew Tom would never push the issue, however relief
flooded his eyes. He seemed to appreciate that she was taking another step in
letting go and moving on with him.

It didn’t take nearly as long as she expected to go through
Richard’s things. His clothes lay on the bed ready to be boxed up. She placed
his wedding ring in her safe. It would eventually go to John. After twenty-five
years of marriage, all that remained in her bedroom was his cologne.

For months after Richard’s death, nighttime had turned into
Tess’ weakest, most vulnerable moments. When it felt like her tears and the
darkness would never end, Tess would step into her closet, spray cologne on one
of Richard’s shirts, curl up with it on the closet floor and cry herself to
sleep.

She stared down at the glass bottle. It was the only
tangible possession she had left of Richard. Hesitantly, she raised the
half-empty bottle of amber liquid to her nose. The exotic scent reminded her of
an island breeze, spiked with cedar and vanilla. Drawing in the familiar scent,
she remembered the last time she smelled it. Tess had been shopping at the
grocery store when a man passed her in the isle wearing Richard’s cologne. She
stopped in her tracks whispering,
Richard?
As her head turned, following
the scent, anticipation rose in her chest, hoping to wake from the nightmare
she’d been living. Staring at a stranger, she realized it was only the ghost
from her dreams, haunting her again.

Tess slumped to the bathroom floor, clutching the bottle in
her fingers. Sitting cross-legged on the cold tile, she rocked back and forth
as tears streamed down her face. Her throat tightened around her painful cries.

She looked up through wet lashes to see Tom standing in the
doorway with boxes in his hands, turning whiter by the second. 

She stared up at him and then down at the cologne clasped in
her hands. “I...I...I don’t know w...what to do with it.” Tess sniffled through
sobs, clutching the bottle closer to her chest.

Tom dropped the boxes and knelt in front of her. He wrapped
her in his strong arms, stroking her hair as he rocked back and forth with her.
When she stopped sniffling, he pulled Tess to her feet. Tom held out his hand,
silently asking her to relinquish the cologne. Her fingers tightened their grip
momentarily before she hesitantly set the bottle into the palm of his hand.

Tom gently set the bottle on a silver tray alongside her
perfumes. “You keep it, Tess. You hold on to anything that’s important to you.”
He pulled her tight against his chest and pressed his warm lips to her temple.
When she calmed down and quit shaking, he walked out to the living room, leaving
her to finish.

They loaded six boxes into the truck, dropping them off to
Goodwill. When they returned, a black SUV was parked in the driveway. “I wonder
who’s here?” 

“It’s ours. I bought it while you were busy. They delivered
it for me.”

Tess looked at him like he was crazy. “What? Why?”

“We’re going to need four-wheel drive at the cabin. I
figured we’d drive from Vegas to Colorado. It’s big enough so if your kids and
Shayla, or any of their friends are with them, we’ll be able to go out together.
And it’s a green vehicle.”

CHAPTER
TWENTY-SIX

When Tom and Tess drove from Las Vegas to the cabin, they
picked up Tracy and JC, who were just starting their winter break. John, Shayla
and the Levi’s, all arrived the next afternoon and everyone was ready to hit
the slopes. 

The picturesque, ski town was decked out for the holidays.
Carolers performed in the park, wreaths adorned the light posts and white
lights lit up every tree in town. Everyone took full advantage of the mountain
terrain. They went skiing, snowboarding and even sledding.

The night before Christmas Eve, after dinner, Tess and Tom
gathered her kids in the living room. John, Tracy, JC and Shayla all knew they
wanted to discuss something, and they all looked a bit nervous.

JC smirked. “You’re not pregnant, Mom, are you?”

“No! I’m not pregnant. What kind of question is that?”

“An obvious one. Plus, I read it on the cover of a magazine
at the grocery store. Apparently, you’re having twins in six months. You even
have a baby bump.” John snickered patting his belly.

Tom paced behind the couch, grinning at Tess, but probably
didn’t find it funny. Her kids had no idea he couldn’t have children.

Tom joined Tess on the couch. “Tom had a great idea of what
to give all of you for Christmas,” she said.

“Actually, we decided together,” Tom clarified, squeezing
her knee.

“We planned on giving this to you whether it was Christmas
or not, the timing just worked out right. We still have gifts for you to open
under the tree. This is different.”

“You’re both acting all secretive and nervous. What is it?”
JC asked.

Tom held four envelopes in his hand. “All of you know after
the wedding, we sold our story and photos. We want to give the money to the
four of you. Your mom and I don’t need it and it would be a nice start for your
futures.”

They sat frozen.

Tom held Tess' hand, “Open it! Merry Christmas.”

Tracy was the first to say anything. “There are way too many
zeros at the end of this number. This can’t be right! You made this kind of
money from your wedding pictures? That’s absurd. What am I supposed to do with
this?”

Each had an account with over two hundred and fifty thousand
dollars in it.

JC’s smile lit up like Christmas morning. “No freaking way!
Are you serious?”

Tears rolled down Shayla’s face through her big beautiful
smile. “Are you sure? This is a lot of money. A whole lot of money. Thank you!”

John frowned at the paperwork, shaking his head in
disbelief. “I can’t accept this. This is your money, not mine.”

“No, John, actually, it’s yours,” Tess assured.

John jumped up out of his seat, handing the envelope back to
Tom. “I appreciate the offer, man, but I can’t take this.” He trudged outside
into the snow, wearing nothing but socks on his feet.

Tess stood to follow him, but Tom said, “Do you mind if I
talk to him?”

All three of the girls hugged Tess with squeals of delight,
along with a ton of questions, especially from JC. Could she buy a car? Could
she quit school? Could she go to school in Europe?

“Well, you can’t have a car at school. Hell no, you can’t
quit school, JC, and yes, if you keep your grades up your first year, you could
go to school in Europe. If that’s what you truly want, but you’d have to
explore all of your options first.”

“I can study my last year in Europe?” Tracy murmured softly.

“Absolutely,” Tess said with a huge smile.

Shayla searched out the window for Tom and John. “Do you
think I should go check on them?”

“No. They can’t stay out there too much longer. It’s
freezing cold.”

When they came back inside John held his envelope in his
hand. He didn’t look thrilled when he shook Tom’s hand. He ambled over to Tess
and hugged her. “Thanks, Mom. I don’t know what to say.”

“Thanks will work just fine, John.” She kissed his cheek.

Tracy and JC hugged Tom, nearly tackling him on the couch.
Tom asked if they wanted to watch an old movie so they headed downstairs. John
plopped down on the couch next to Tess.

“John, are you okay? He, we, thought this would be a good
start for all of you. I thought it was unbelievably kind of him to even offer.”

“Mom, he explained why the two of you gave us the money. It
doesn’t make it any easier for me accept.”

“Why? It’s not like he’s trying to buy your respect or
anything.”

“He doesn’t need to
buy
my respect. I already respect
him.” John looked her straight in the face, studying her eyes as he asked his
next question. “Are you going to try and convince me that you don’t have issues
with his money? The truth, Mom.”

“Yes, I do, and I probably always will have issues regarding
his money. Tom knows I don’t love him for his money. Money doesn’t matter to
me. If anything, it makes me extremely uncomfortable.”

“That’s why he knew I wasn’t going to want to take the gift.
Tom thinks I’m a lot like you. Stubborn.”

“John, you can save it for when you’re ready to have a
family. You could buy a house, but truthfully, I’m not going to be home much.”

“It’s hard for me to take this. Dad drilled into me, into
all of us, you have to work hard for your money. Nothing comes free. That’s how
he had to do it. That’s how you had to do it, too, Mom.
Work hard, play hard
.
Dad’s favorite motto.”

“If this opportunity was given to your dad and I when we
were first married, do you think he would’ve turned it down? A gift, from his
family the people who loved him? No. You’re a good man, John, your dad was very
proud of you.”

“Tom’s just so freaking nice. He even offered to help invest
some of it.”

She teased. “Are you complaining because he’s too nice?”

John grinned, nudging her shoulder. “No, I’m not. I don’t
think you could’ve picked a nicer man to be with. He’s fun to hang out with and
I’ve had a great time skiing with him.” John paused for a moment, “You know, I
really miss Dad, but when I’m around, Tom, he fills that void a little.”

The fire crackled and popped, filling the silence that
hovered heavily in the room.

She knew that John accepted Tom, he even liked him, but his
strong words of admiration meant the world to her. “I know you miss him. We all
do.” She draped her arm around him and they headed downstairs.

It was after midnight when they finally went to bed. “What
did you tell him outside to change his mind?” she asked Tom.

“I told him I wanted him to have the money and that I wasn’t
doing it with an alternative motive behind it. I don’t need to buy their love.
They either like me or they don’t.” Tom paused. “Plus, I told him I wasn’t able
to have my own children and that he and his sisters kind of feel like my family
now. I wanted to do this for them and it means an awful lot to me that he accepted
it.”

“You told him you couldn’t have children?” She asked in
hushed surprise.

“Yes, I did. He gave me his word it was between the two of
us.” He grinned. “You guys come from a different mold than anyone I know.
You’re all so honest.”

“You didn’t have to tell him. I know that’s a difficult
subject for you.” She couldn’t imagine the pain he carried, never being able to
have children.