Nine Minutes (22 page)

Chapter Thirty-Five

Grizz
took me to the doctor the next day, and sure enough, I was pregnant. I was
puzzled, though. I’d taken birth control pills religiously, never missed even
one time. But I’d had a nasty case of strep throat the month before, and the
doctor explained antibiotics
can
sometimes interfere
with the pill. I was just one of those cases.

     
I told the doctor
I was still taking the pill and had only suspected the pregnancy because my
last period was very short and light, not my usual full week of heavy bleeding.
He told me to stop taking it and not to worry. Some women got pregnant while on
the pill. It wasn’t unheard of, and we’d detected the pregnancy early on.

     
I looked over at
Grizz
, who was smiling. He was happy about this pregnancy.
If it was meant to be now instead of a few years down the road, then so be it.

     
Grizz
took me to lunch and immediately started offering up boys’
and girls’ names. My head was spinning. I was overwhelmed. What about my
degree? Could I still go to school and be a mother? I was dizzy with thoughts
of the future and how it would all play out. I took some comfort in the fact
that the baby would be born after we were in our new home. I would have hated
bringing a baby into the world while living at the motel.

     
Grizz
surprised me with something else. He told me that it
would take him about six months to wrap up some business and he would be done
with the gang.
For good.
I couldn’t have been more
thrilled. Jan was going to get her wish after all:
Grizz
was turning his gang over to Blue.

     
We decided to
keep the pregnancy to ourselves for a little while. It was still early. Sarah
Jo was the only one who knew, and I had no doubt about her loyalty and ability
to keep a secret.

     
Morning sickness
hit with a vengeance. I couldn’t even call it morning sickness; I was sick all
day, so much so that I couldn’t keep anything down and
Grizz
wanted to take me back to the doctor to see if they could prescribe something
to help. I refused. I’d live with it. I wasn’t going to take any medication
while I was pregnant. Nothing except for prenatal vitamins, and that was only
if I could keep them down.

     
I was about ten
weeks along when
Grizz
told me he had to talk to me
about something. I was sitting on the couch looking through interior design
magazines. I’d already picked a neutral color for the baby’s room, light green.
Now I was considering a theme.
Noah’s Ark maybe.
Or teddy bears.

     
He took the
magazine out of my hands and laid it on the coffee table. This looked serious.

     
“Kit, there’s
something I have to tell you.”

     
“What? What is
it?”

     
“I don’t want you
to be upset, especially since you’re pregnant, but I love you and I’m afraid if
I don’t tell you and you find out later, you won’t like it.”

     
He was starting
to scare me. “Tell me now. Whatever it is, don’t keep it from me.” Had
something happened to Sarah Jo or Fess or Grunt? Was
Grizz
in trouble? Were we in trouble?

     
“I just heard
from Guido,” he said, gripping my hands tightly. “He told me your parents were
killed in a car accident the day before yesterday. He thought we should know.”

     
I was stunned. I’d
never expected this. I hadn’t given much thought to Delia or Vince in years. I
can’t say I missed them; what was there to miss? I had been on my own from an
early age. But
Grizz
was right. I’m glad he told me.
Memories washed over me.

     
“What happened?”
I asked quietly.

     
“Head-on
collision. Big semi. Driver fell asleep, crossed the yellow line. It was
instant.”

     
I was relieved
there had been no suffering on their part and that they weren’t the cause of
the accident. I didn’t hate Delia and Vince. I didn’t miss them, either. But I
wanted to do what was right.

     
“
Grizz
, there’s no other family. What are they going to do
with them?”

     
“Probably a box
and a state-owned cemetery. I think. Maybe cremation. I honestly don’t know.”
Before I could say anything, he added, “You want me to take care of it, Kit?
Would you like that? To give them a proper burial?”

     
This surprised
me, but I guess he remembered how important it was to me that Moe was given a
proper burial.
At least as proper as it could be.

     
I nodded. “Yes, I
think I would like that.
Doesn’t have to be fancy,
Grizz
.
Just a decent cemetery and
maybe instead of a headstone, one of those plates that are in the ground.
Something that shows their name, birthday and the date they died.”

     
“Write it all
down for me, baby, and I’ll take care of it.”

     
And he did. He
was so good at giving me anything I wanted. It never occurred to me that this
was another chance at my freedom. Of course, there’d been many times over the
years that I could have gained my freedom. Certainly, the death of my parents
would’ve been one of them, but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t leaving
Grizz
.
At least not on purpose.

     
A few weeks later
I started spotting. I called the doctor in a panic, but he said there was
nothing that could be done. It could be nothing. Wait it out and don’t do
anything strenuous.
Grizz
made me lay in bed for
three days. The spotting continued and he insisted on taking me to the doctor.

     
I was sitting on
the paper covered examining table when I felt something. I didn’t move, just
looked at
Grizz
with tears in my eyes.

     
“I think I just
lost the baby.”

Chapter Thirty-Six

We were
both sad about losing that baby, but we also agreed I should go back on the
pill. There would still be children in our future. We would move into our new
home. I would get my degree. Life would go on.

     
And it did. I
never went back to the motel after moving into our home, but of course,
Grizz
had to. Chowder was now living in our old rooms.
Monster had moved into one of the rooms, as well.

     
I decorated our
new home. I took care of Damien and Lucifer. They were getting up in years, and
it was obvious they’d slowed down. We had friends over for dinner. Grunt and
Cindy came regularly. He was now a successful architect with a high-end firm on
Las
Olas
Boulevard. Grunt and I became close a year
or so after he moved in with Cindy. Strange as it seems, we spent a lot of time
together. I think it was because
Grizz
wasn’t jealous
since Grunt had been with Cindy so long. I think it was hard for
Grizz
, but he knew the key to keeping me happy wasn’t going
to work if he kept me to himself. My friendship with Grunt was nice,
comfortable,
safe
. I’d also become closer to my
college friends, Carter and Casey. I spent a lot of time with them, as well. Sarah
Jo was a regular at our dinner table after she graduated college and settled back
in Ft. Lauderdale. She was married, too, and had stayed friends with her old
boyfriend, Stephen, and his wife, April. They were all regular guests in our
home. So were Anthony and Christy, our friends from the west coast of Florida.
Even Sam and his girl-of-the-month came over once in awhile.

     
Chowder only came
for Thanksgiving. I finally got to make that turkey, and Jan didn’t seem to
mind turning over the reins. She was so busy with her job that she actually
seemed to be relieved and happy to let someone else do the cooking.

     
And that is how
the next few years rolled by. They were filled with friends, travel, concerts,
taking care of our home and animals, long motorcycle rides and as close to
domestic bliss as you can get. Our home was on a couple of acres and we had
neighbors, but they weren’t close by. Still, I didn’t want people to be afraid
of us. The only rule I had, and
Grizz
agreed: no gang
business at our home.

     
Of course, our
lifestyle was based on an illusion. When you look at it truthfully, I wasn’t
really even married to
Grizz
. Ann Marie Morgan was,
but let’s face it, I wasn’t Ann Marie. Our income, which had grown
significantly with good and honest investments, was still based on money earned
from illegal activity.
A lot of it.
Grizz
had his hands on everything in South Florida at that
time: prostitution, drugs, car theft, gambling, blackmail,
loan
-sharking.
He had been sincere about turning the gang over to Blue when I had gotten
pregnant, but with the miscarriage soon after, he saw no immediate reason to
retire. And so the money rolled in. I never asked, but you can’t be with
someone for all those years and not have a sense of what they were up to. I
picked things up here and there. I wasn’t naïve, but I allowed myself to
pretend I was.

     
I knew our
lifestyle was built on a foundation of criminal endeavors, but as long as I
wasn’t involved, I was able to forget it. I’d stopped balancing the checkbooks
and monitoring the investments a few years back. It was turned over to an
accountant. I pretended when my husband left for work in the morning that his
job didn’t involve crime. I’d taken a part-time job with a small accounting
firm in Miramar. I didn’t have to work, and I had a really difficult time
convincing
Grizz
to let me, but he eventually did. I
needed to work just to have some purpose in life.

     
As soon as I got
my degree, I’d told
Grizz
I wanted to get pregnant. If
having children was going to influence
Grizz
to give
up the gang life, I wanted to have a baby as soon as I finished school. He
agreed, and so I went off the pill. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen as quickly
as I’d hoped. A year after graduating college, I still hadn’t conceived.

     
What I didn’t
know during this time was that Blue and Jan’s marriage was falling apart. He’d
caught her cheating, more than
once,
with attorneys
she’d met on the job. Jan was attractive and always looking to better herself.
Being married to the second-in-command of a motorcycle gang didn’t hold as much
appeal as it once did. She wanted more. I was surprised she’d cheated on Blue.
I’d have thought she’d have been scared to cross him, but she wasn’t.

     
Blue came to the
house one day and told us the story. I was right to think she should’ve been
afraid. I remembered a hit-and-run incident about four months earlier. Jan was
walking to her car in a grocery store parking lot. She drove a nice car and
always parked far away from the store entrance to avoid careless dings from
someone who might’ve parked next to her. She was carrying two bags and fumbling
with her keys, looking down as she walked, when a car out of nowhere hit her.
The driver fled, and she was knocked unconscious and didn’t remember anything.
It was a miracle she was only banged up and that nothing was broken. Based on
the speed the car was going, it was a miracle she was alive.

     
Blue didn’t take
her indiscretions lightly. I realized as Blue told us his tale that the
hit-and-run was far more than that—he’d ordered an actual hit on her. I
also knew he would’ve needed approval from my husband before doing so. I
shivered.

     
Blue continued
with his tale and said he’d finally had enough and kicked her out. Told her he
would be seeking custody of the boys.
Grizz
grilled
him about exactly how much Jan knew about the gang. Blue said he never told her
anything. She didn’t even know about the night he took Grunt.

     
Grizz
nodded. “Okay, so what harm can she do us, if any?”

     
The unspoken
question, of course, was, “Can she tie the hit-and-run and anything else
illegal to us?”

     
“I suppose she
could have someone dig into our personal finances, but then she’s only
implicating herself, I would think,” Blue told him. “Other than the fact that I
have a motorcycle and a jacket, it’s all just speculation on her part. I don’t
think anyone would touch it. As far as custody, she may be getting free legal
advice, but the firm she works for specializes in estate taxes and stuff like
that.”

     
I interrupted
here. “Blue, Jan knows some things. She told
me in detail
about Moe’s early life and how she came to the motel
. How she lost her
tongue. She told me who lived at the motel,
who
didn’t
live there. She even knew about the night I got
Gwinny
.
If you didn’t tell her that, who did?”

     
“I don’t know,”
Blue looked at both of us, bewildered. “Honest,
Grizz
.
Maybe when
Chicky
or Willow came over when she was
pregnant and off her meds? Remember when we had the girls stay with her once in
awhile? I guess she could have heard stuff then. But I didn’t tell her where
Kit came from or anything like that. Hell, she’s never even been to the motel.
Doesn’t know any real names. Not even mine. I married her under an alias.”

     
Grizz
glanced in my direction. I looked down. He knew what
I was thinking. He’d married me under an alias. At least Jan got to marry Blue
with her real name.

     
Grizz
didn’t say anything for a minute. I could tell he was
seriously thinking about this. He then asked Blue, “Do you think she talked to
Willow
, other than when Willow was there to keep an eye on
her?”

     
“I guess it’s
possible. Fuck, I honestly don’t know.” Blue gave me a sidelong glance. “Sorry,
Kit. Know you don’t like the cursing. It’s a habit.”

     
More silence from
Grizz
.
I knew
Grizz
trusted Blue implicitly and was trying to figure out
if he had a mole. But with Willow’s intense hatred of me, it was very possible
that she had been the one who communicated with Jan. Maybe she thought she
would find an ally in Jan. There was no way to be sure. Jan would certainly
never say, and Willow had been dead for years.

     
“And you want
custody of Timmy and Kevin?”
Grizz
asked.

     
“Yeah, I want my
boys,
Grizz
. I can’t give up my boys.”

     
“Okay then. I
trust you. Go ahead and fight for your boys. If the gang comes up in any way,
shape or form, I want to know immediately.
Is
that understood? You tell her that. You let her know what that means.”

     
“I will. I’ll
tell her and she’ll understand. I’ll fight for my boys fair and square. The
gang stays out of it. You have my word.”

     
The conversation
ended, and it was the last I heard about Blue and Jan’s divorce and custody
battle for
awhile
. She’d tried remaining friends with
me, but I couldn’t bring myself to continue seeing her. I suspected she wanted
to be friends with me for other reasons. Maybe she feared more retaliation from
Grizz
and knew a friendship with me would help her
case. Maybe she just wanted to know what I knew, which was nothing. If Blue was
telling
Grizz
things about the divorce and custody
hearings,
Grizz
wasn’t telling me. I just figured it
was in everyone’s best interest for me to stay away from her.

     
That was how I
coped with all of it. Always had. I stayed away physically and emotionally.

____________