Nine Minutes (21 page)

     
“Get in the car,
Kit,”
Grizz
practically growled.

     
“Don’t hurt them.
Please, I don’t want anyone to get hurt,
Grizz
.”

     
“They’ll be lucky
if I let them live.”

     
I didn’t go into
any more detail with Sam.
Grizz
didn’t kill them.
Enough said.

     
“So basically,
you knew if you intervened then he would come to your rescue and, in doing so,
rescue the other victim?” Sam’s eyes were wide.

     
“Yes, that’s
exactly what I was doing. I’d done it before, too, but it never got as bad as
the spitting incident. Usually, one look at
Grizz
and
people always stepped away. That was the first time he had to get physical, and
I’m sure he wouldn’t have if the guy didn’t spit at me.”

     
“You realize he
was right, though, don’t you?”

     
This surprised
me. I had just taken a sip of my iced tea and looked up at Sam. “Right about
what?”

     
“Right about not
calling the police. Not getting involved. Maybe you subconsciously want him to
get caught.”

     
This shocked me. “No,
absolutely not. I don’t want him to get arrested. I love him.”

     
“And that’s it,
Kit. You love him and you feel guilty for loving him so you try to use him to
make situations better where you can’t. You keep doing it and it’s only a
matter of time before it won’t work out. You’re lucky he didn’t kill those
guys.”

     
Sam was right.

     
I went home that
day and told
Grizz
I was sorry for involving him in
other people’s problems. I vowed that day not to ever play rescuer again.
Great. Now I was going to have to figure out another way to ease my conscience.

     
Sam not only
became a social worker, but he went on to become a psychologist. Years later,
after learning I’d actually been kidnapped by
Grizz
,
he went on to write a book about Stockholm syndrome—the syndrome where
the captive starts to care for her captor.

     
The girl in his
book was eerily similar to me. I’d stayed friends with Sam over the years, and
that book almost ruined our relationship.

Chapter Thirty-Four

I continued
to run into Sam at school and we had an occasional lunch together. I struggled
with whether or not to tell
Grizz
. I didn’t feel like
I was doing anything wrong, but he was so protective I felt he would scare Sam
away.

     
I wouldn’t find
out until later that he knew about my lunch dates with Sam. Of course he knew.
He knew everything. I never lied, though. If he asked me what I did after
school, I told him: I had lunch with a friend. I guess after that first time he
had me watched, and whoever watched me must have convinced him it was a
strictly platonic lunch. Maybe he didn’t bother Sam because he connected my
first lunch with him as the same day I came home and apologized. Maybe he was
secretly grateful that Sam had talked some sense into me.

     
Either way, Sam
would eventually always be a welcome guest in our home.

     
I was on a short
break between spring and summer classes when Blue called the motel asking for a
favor. I’d continued to remain on good terms with Jan after that first Thanksgiving.
We never became super close, but I loved her boys and would babysit whenever I
could. They were now school age, and Jan was working at a law firm. She seemed
to really enjoy her work, and as far as I could tell, avoided mental breakdowns
with a combination of medication and a job she loved.

     
Blue explained
that both boys had come down with chicken pox and couldn’t go to summer camp.
Jan was having an especially busy time at work. She had gone from part-time
receptionist to full-time receptionist and then to legal aide. Was there any
way I could stay with the boys for a couple of days?
Maybe
the whole week?

     
I didn’t have to
think about it. They were great little boys, and I welcomed the opportunity to
spend time with them. Besides, I could sit by the pool and read while they
napped. I wondered to myself if they still took naps.
Probably
not.
But it didn’t matter. It would be like a little getaway for me,
too. Blue asked if I could stop at the drug store and pick up some lotion. It
was supposed to help with their itching.

     
I told
Grizz
, and he was okay with it. He’d been busy, anyway. We’d
finally picked out some land in a subdivision just southwest of Davie called Shady
Ranches. We were having a home built, and it was in the framing stage.
Grizz
had hired a contractor but had a hard time turning
over control of the project. He spent as much time there as he could. I know he
didn’t mean to intimidate the guy; he was just really enjoying the construction
process. Chowder spent a lot of time with him there, too.

     
I went into our
bedroom and looked for something to put my things in. I remembered my old cloth
backpack. I found it wadded up in a corner of our closet where I’d carelessly
thrown it over a year ago. I stuffed my bathing suit, suntan lotion, two books,
and my hairbrush in it. No need to pack for overnight. I wouldn’t be spending
the night.

     
I stopped at a
drug store and bought the lotion. I threw it in my backpack and drove to Blue’s.
When I got there, Jan met me at the door with a hug.

     
“You’re really
getting us out of a bind, Kit. Blue and I tried splitting up the days to take
care of the boys—I’d do mornings and he’d do afternoons—but we’re
starting to get complaints from work. You’re a lifesaver.”

     
“I’m glad to help.
I love your boys. You know that. Where are they?” I asked as I tossed my bag
onto the bench inside the front door.

     
“They’re in the
den.”

     
I made my way to
the den and was greeted with a big hug from Kevin. He was the younger of the
two. Timmy looked at me shyly. I think he was just old enough now to be
embarrassed to have me
there
babysitting.

     
Jan yelled from
the foyer, “Did you remember to pick up the lotion?”

     
“Yeah, it’s in my
bag by the front door.”

     
If I hadn’t been
so caught up in the boys I might have noticed how long it took Jan to bring the
lotion into the den. I might’ve remembered that day more than a year ago, when
I found my wallet in Moe’s room. Remembered throwing it in my old backpack.

     
Because while I was giving my undivided attention to Kevin and
Timmy, their mother was making a mental note of an exceptionally odd name.
A name I hadn’t heard or even thought about in over five years.

     
Guinevere Love Lemon.

____________

The house
construction was progressing at an extremely quick pace. I’m pretty sure the
builder was just scared to death of
Grizz
and wanted
the project over with. Not that
Grizz
ever did
anything on purpose to scare the guy. It was just
Grizz
.

     
One Saturday toward
the end of that summer, while she was still on break from school, Sarah Jo and
I spent the day at the beach. I’d developed a really awful headache and asked
her if she could just drive me home. We had my car. I asked her to just drop me
at the motel and take my car home. I was certain
Grizz
would get it back to the motel.

     
She dropped me
off and helped me unload my stuff. Being the best friend in the world, she put
my things away, stood in the bathroom while I took a quick shower and tucked me
into bed with two aspirin. She closed the bedroom curtains and kissed me on my
forehead.

     
“I’ll call later
to check on you, Kit. Try to fall asleep. Maybe the headache will be gone by
the time you wake up.”

     
My head hurt so
bad I don’t remember answering her. I did eventually fall asleep and woke up
later disoriented. My headache was now just a dull throb. I heard voices. It
must’ve been what woke me up. It was
Grizz
, and he
was arguing with a woman whose voice I didn’t recognize.

     
“I don’t
understand why I can’t see him. Not that I owe you an explanation, but I’ve
cleaned up my act. I have things to settle with him.”

     
“He’s not here,
Candy.”

     
“Stop calling me
that lame-ass gang name, J….”

     
“Shut up!”
Grizz
roared. “Don’t call me by that name. No one calls me
by that name, ever!”

     
Who was this
woman? She’d started to call
Grizz
by a name that
started with a J. Did she know his real name? It was obvious
Grizz
didn’t know I was there. My car was gone, so he would’ve
assumed I was still with Sarah Jo. I was pondering whether to make myself known
or not. I could almost sense her eyes rolling as he yelled that last statement
at her.

     
“You and your
fucking gang codes. I swear
Grizz
,
you are so over the top. I don’t go by Candy anymore.”

     
“I don’t give a
fuck what you go by, you’re not going to see him. He doesn’t live here anyway.
He’s happy and settled. No reason for you to insinuate yourself back into his
life because you’ve had a guilty conscience.”

     
“You are such an
arrogant ass. You wouldn’t be where you are today if it weren’t for me. Don’t
forget I found your sorry fourteen-year-old ass living behind a gas station. I’m
the one that introduced you to the people who put you where you are today. Me!”

     
“Nobody put me
where I am today but me. Besides, when you supposedly found me you were already
a washed-up, drug-addicted hooker and you were only seventeen. If anything, you
owe me for making sure you weren’t living on the street.”

     
So this was a
woman who knew
Grizz
when he was still a teenager. I
didn’t think I’d run across anybody yet who’d known him that long.

     
“Well, I certainly
don’t need your permission to see him. I can find him on my own and you can’t
stop me.”

     
“Really, Candy? I
can’t stop you?”

     
It got quiet and
I knew she was weighing her options. Finally, she spoke in a calmer voice.

     
“Fine. Will you
do me one favor?” Without waiting for him to answer, she continued. “Will you
at least tell him I came by here looking for him? Tell him I’ve cleaned up.
Tell him I just want to see him to apologize for all the bad shit that
happened. I don’t want to upset or interfere in his life. I just want to say I’m
sorry.”

     
Grizz
said something, but I couldn’t hear the words.

     
I heard the door
open and then shut. I got out of bed and went out into the small living room.
Grizz
wasn’t there. He must’ve walked her out. I noticed it
was past dinnertime, so I went into the kitchen and started pulling some things
out of the fridge to cook. If I’d had the least bit of curiosity about what
Candy looked like I might’ve thought to go to the window and peek out.

     
In retrospect, it
was a good thing I didn’t. I would’ve witnessed my husband do something awful.
I would’ve seen
Grizz
walk her to her car, and as she
reached for the door handle, grab her from behind and instantly snap her neck.
I would’ve seen him carelessly fling her over his shoulder, signal to three
faceless men in the pit to get rid of her car and easily stride to the back of
the motel to erase evidence of her existence.

     
But I saw none of
this and wouldn’t know about it until many years had passed.
        

     
Grizz
came back inside less than ten minutes later and
stopped short. “When did you get home? I didn’t see you pull up.”

     
“Jo brought me
home early. I got one of my bad headaches. Tried to sleep it off.’

     
“Did you? Is it
gone?”

     
“Mostly. Just a
dull ache now really. Nothing like it was. She has my car. Can you get someone
to bring it home?” I could tell by his expression he knew I was in the room
when he had the argument with Candy. He was trying to figure out if I’d heard
anything. I decided to make it easy for him.

     
“So who is Candy?”
I asked while nonchalantly sautéing some mushrooms on the stove.

     
Before he could
answer, I added, “Are you going to tell him? Are you going to tell Blue?”

     
He gave me a
puzzled look.

     
“That was Blue’s
crazy ex-girlfriend, wasn’t it? The one you told me about? The one he broke up
with right before he met Jan?”

     
“Yeah, that was
her
.”

     
“You don’t look
too sure of yourself,
Grizz
.”

     
“No, it’s not
that, baby. I just didn’t remember telling you about her.”

     
“Well, you did.
You never told me her name, but you mentioned her after I met Jan that first
time.”

     
He came up behind
me and hugged me. He rested his chin on my left shoulder. He must have been
really hunched over because I was a lot shorter than him.

     
“I think you’re
right,
Grizz
. Right not to let her see Blue. It might
cause Jan to have a breakdown.” Before he could say anything, I added, “She
started to call you by your real name. Will you ever tell me?”

     
“Kit, we’ve been
through this a million times,” he said and pulled back to look at me. I turned
around and faced him. “It’s for your own good. As far as you’re concerned, my
real name is Rick O’Connell.”

     
“Yeah,
Grizz
, except that it’s not.” I turned off the stove and
hastily brushed him aside. I went into our bedroom and shut the door.

     
Would he ever let
me in? I was married to him and knew virtually nothing about him. Not his name,
nothing about his past. Well, except now I knew he’d been living behind a gas
station when he was fourteen.

     
He came in and
found me sitting on the bed pretending to look through color palettes from the
contractor. I wouldn’t look up at him.

     
“Jason. My real
first name is Jason. Okay? I’m not telling you any more of my name. Someday,
maybe when we have children, I’ll tell you. But it’s not because I’m
gonna
let them use my name. They’ll
be
O’Connells
.”

     
Then he told me a
little bit about himself. He was born in Florida—West Palm Beach. He
never knew his father, and the last name he wouldn’t tell me was apparently his
mother’s last name. Her first name was Ida, and she’d had him when she was just
fifteen. That certainly explained why he felt I was “old enough” when he had me
abducted.

     
His mother was a
housekeeper for a wealthy family. He said she played the perfect role as
housekeeper, but her own home was a wreck. She neglected him. She never beat or
abused him; she just ignored him. It sounded familiar. He ran away when he was
almost fourteen. He was certain she was relieved and never looked for him. He
wasn’t living behind a gas station when Candy found him. He was actually selling
stolen auto parts.

     
I asked him why
he would run away—he was neglected, not abused. Why put
himself
out on the street? And how did he make it down to
the Fort Lauderdale area from West Palm Beach?

     
“I ran with an
older crowd and dropped out of school because I was making so much money,”
Grizz
said simply. “Eventually, the group made its way
south, and I went, too.”

     
He wasn’t living
on the street, but in a small apartment over the garage of a guy paying him to
acquire specialty auto parts. I told him he was really smart for a guy who’d
dropped out of school so young.

     
“I knew how to
read and had basic math skills, and that was all I needed,”
Grizz
said, shrugging. “Besides, my education on the street taught me more than any
degree I could’ve earned.”

     
By now
Grizz
was sitting beside me on the bed. I scooted onto his
lap.

     
“Why do we have
to have children before you’ll tell me your real name?” I asked as I nuzzled
his neck, toying with the earring in his left ear. It was a favorite habit of
mine.

     
I could feel his
body shaking. He was laughing. I looked up at him. With a big grin, he said, “I
don’t know. Figured it might buy some time. Figure we’ll have a baby after a
couple more years.”

     
“Well, Mr.
Won’t-Be-Able-To-Avoid-The-Question-Much-Longer
,
I think I can get you to tell me sooner than you planned.”

     
“Oh, you do now?”
He pressed his face into my neck. “What are you going to tempt me with?”

     
Before I could
reply, the phone rang. He moved me back over to the bed and got up to answer
it.

     
“Yeah?” A pause.
“Hang on a second, honey. Kit, it’s Sarah Jo,” he yelled from the kitchen.

     
I went in and
took the phone from him. “Yeah, it’s almost gone. Still a little ache.” I
paused while Jo asked me another question. “No, I haven’t told him yet.”

     
“Told me what?”
Grizz
asked as he took a beer out of the refrigerator.

     
I turned to look
at him. “I think I might be pregnant.”