Night Games (14 page)

Chapter Seventeen

Grey

Okay, what did I expect?

That Chase would smother me in kisses and tell me how much he loves me? No, I wasn’t counting on it. But to see that tramp ready to wrap her lips around his dick—fuck, I’ll never be able to get that image out of my head. It’s permanently burned into my brain. I want to pull her motherfucking hair out by the roots and wipe that triumphant expression off her face. Yeah, she might have him now, but he’s not the type who stays interested for long. I should know. In Stockton, he was with me cheating on her.

I take a step back, slamming his bedroom door shut and making a hasty retreat. I hear Chase calling my name on the other side, but I don’t want to hear it. Not now. Not after I dropped everything and came all this way just to see him, to find out if he was okay. I probably won’t have a job tomorrow, but apparently he can take care of himself just fine without me.

“Grey, I tried to warn you that he wasn’t alone, but you wouldn’t listen.” Noah’s excuses tumble out of his mouth, but it’s too late now. I got the wake-up call I deserved. Chase will never change—not for me, not for anybody. This is who he is, and I just have to face facts and accept it. He’s not the kind of guy I need in my life. I have to get out now before I get in any deeper. I’m sick of giving him an unlimited amount of second chances. This is it. I’m done.

“You really shouldn’t have buzzed me up from the lobby, Noah. I didn’t think you were that cruel. Your new employer must be rubbing off on you.” I have about two seconds to get out of here before Chase throws on some clothes and comes after me. I shove Noah, but he’s like an immovable barrier blocking the door.

“He didn’t know she was here when we came in. All he talked about all day was you.” Noah places a hand on my shoulder, holding back my assault as I start to pummel him with my fists. “At least hear him out before you go.”

“I don’t have to do anything. He was about to let her—” But I can’t speak as my body shudders, giving in to the powerful range of emotions surging through me. Seeing him naked. Seeing him with her. Seeing how his face went from apathy to elation the moment he saw me. I can’t catch my breath. It’s too much to process.

I collapse against Noah’s chest, and it feels warm and soft as he gingerly pats my back, unsure of what to do.

“Grey, wait! Don’t go!” I hear Chase’s uneven footsteps charging down the hallway. Somehow he’s running, even though I don’t know how. It shouldn’t be physically possible, considering how bad his knee is.

“Listen to what he has to say,” Noah whispers against my hair. “I don’t know what happened in there, but I swear he really does care about you. I’ve seen it.”

“Noah, I need you to take Irina to the airport. Can you do that for me?” Chase usually brooks no opposition when it comes to issuing commands. It’s weird to hear him begging Noah to do him a favor.

“Sure, boss. I’ll have Luis pull the car around,” Noah responds, like it’s no big deal.

“Great,” Chase says tightly.

I’m afraid to turn around. I know she’s probably standing right behind me, next to Chase. I can already smell her heady perfume from here. The squeaky wheels of a suitcase are coming toward me as I step aside so Noah can open the door.

I’ve never felt such a strong surge of jealousy. I don’t know how to handle a force as powerful as this. I want to tackle her to the ground and claw her eyes out for even thinking about taking him in her mouth. He may not be mine, but he sure as hell ain’t hers.

Irina strides up to me, her bony frame nearly a foot taller than mine. Even though she towers over most men, she still feels the need to wear heels. I’m like a little girl next to her. She looks like she took all day to get ready even though she just threw on the beige jumpsuit she slithered into, the zipper lowered to show off her cleavage. She’s not an underwear model for nothing. She knows how to work her assets. I mean, who the fuck wears a jumpsuit?

She tosses her gorgeous mane of blond hair over her bronzed shoulder, giving me a pitying look. “Wow, dis iz who you’re replacing me with? You’ve zeally lowered your standards, Chaize.”

And that’s when I haul back and launch my fist into her perfect sun-kissed face. She totters on her heels, screaming in terror. I can’t be responsible for my actions. She provoked me and I lost it. Blood is dripping from her nose and onto what I’m sure is dry-clean-only material.

“You bitch!” She tries to come at me, but Noah restrains her.

“C’mon, dear. I’ll get you cleaned up. We should probably get out of here.” Noah puts his arm around her shoulders, no doubt delighting in the fact that he’s comforting a supermodel. Noah’s a sweetheart, but let’s face it, he’s a guy.

“You better zend me my stuff, Chaize. Or you’ll be hearing from my lawyer.” She waves her finger at him, dabbing at her nose with the back of her wrist.

I still don’t have the courage to turn around and face Chase as Noah escorts her out the door. He gives me an encouraging wink before leaving me alone with the last person on earth I want to be in the same room with.

“What are you doing here, Grey?”

I didn’t think he’d speak to me so harshly, but he seems put out that I’m trespassing where I don’t belong. Maybe I was out of line for coming here, but he was hurt and I had to make sure he was all right. Maybe driving through the night to see him wasn’t such a good idea. I get that now.

“I don’t know.” It’s weird talking to him like this, staring at a painting of Kings Stadium that’s hanging on the wall. I feel like I’m being interrogated on one of those cop shows where I’m being observed behind tinted glass.

“You don’t know?” If I had to guess, he probably has his arms crossed, shaking his head at me in disbelief.

“I thought I did when I left Stockton, but now I’m not so sure.” I’m sick of lying to him, sick of trying to hide my feelings. I didn’t come all this way to play it cool. He can hide behind his emotions all he wants. I’m not going to.

He exhales deeply behind me, not saying anything. For a split second, I wonder if he’s shirtless. I love how his muscles ripple across his chest when he sighs. It’s one of those cute little things he does that he’s probably not even aware of.

“I’m glad you barged in.” His hand is on my ponytail as he lets his fingers run through it. My eyes close, and I bite my bottom lip to keep from groaning out loud. When he left this morning, I never thought he’d touch me again. I want to give in to him, let him do whatever he wants to me, but I can’t. I start to move away, but his fingers close around my hair, holding me in place.

“Let me go.” My voice trembles against my will.

“You’re not going anywhere.” His lips are against my ear, and I feel the warmth of his body surrounding me, caging me in, comforting me. On the door in front of us, his shadow merges with mine and I can’t make out where his ends and mine begins.

“You can’t tell me what to do.” I feel a twinge between my legs as his arm wraps around my waist, pulling me against him.

“Oh, I think I can.” He starts kissing my neck, and I lean back into him, resting my head against his chest. It feels so good to be near him, the way my body is responding to him, but emotionally, I’m in turmoil. I can’t do this, not after what Irina was about to do to him. That’s why he’s all over me—because she’s the one who got his engine started. Now he’s just using me to finish the job. I can’t let myself me manipulated like this. It’s not right. It’s not fair.

“Stop it, Chase.” I break away from him when the evidence of his arousal presses against my backside. He’s trying to solve what’s broken between us with sex. It’s probably how he handles all of his problems with women, seducing them into meeting his demands. Why talk when you could fuck? Because that’s the solution to everything, right?

“Grey, I didn’t mean to—”

“Yes, you did.”

“Would you just look at me, damn it?”

“I don’t think I can stand to look at you right now. You disgust me.”

“Yeah? Well, I disgust myself.”

And that little glimmer of honesty is what finally gets me to whirl around and face him. What? He’s actually admitting his guilt? Maybe he’s not such a lost cause after all. I search his turquoise eyes, trying to uncover the truth. Does he possess a conscience or is he only telling me what I want to hear? I just don’t know anymore.

“But why were you going to let her—?”

“I don’t know, all right?” He doesn’t look down or away, but he narrows his eyes at me like I’m causing him pain. “I was feeling like shit and I thought it would help take my mind off things. It wasn’t love or lust or any of those things. It was just like popping a couple of painkillers in the bathroom—an escape, a release, when all I really wanted was you.”

“And you expect me to believe that? You’re weak, Chase. You don’t have the strength to do the right thing because it’s too hard. You don’t want to think. You don’t want to feel. And you know what? Checking out isn’t the answer. Why don’t you get off your lazy, privileged ass and go after what you want instead of settling for whatever’s right in front of you?”

I expect him to lunge at me, push me up against the door, and fuck me senseless. But that’s not how he responds to my provocation. Instead, he seems penitent, like I’ve chastised him with my words. Great, he’s withdrawing back into himself when I was only attempting to wrestle him out of his shell. When it comes to facing the truth, why does he always resist?

“Because I don’t see how this works between us, Grey. I went through every possible scenario in my head, and it never turns out right. I can’t give all this up for you. It’s who I am. It’s who I’ll always be. And I don’t want you to leave Stockton because you’re safe there, anonymous, out of the spotlight. I’m in such a bad place right now, probably the worst spot I’ve ever been in, and I’m not going to drag you down with me. I’d hate myself for doing that to you. I just wanted to walk away and leave you behind, but I can’t. Because I can’t stop thinking about you.”

In my gut, I know he’s telling the truth. He doesn’t know what to do, and neither do I. He doesn’t trust himself enough to move forward, and I don’t trust him enough to stay with me. He can shatter my heart into a million pieces if I push him on this. He’s not ready for a serious relationship. Who knows if he ever will be? Maybe someone like him really can’t be with an ordinary person. He needs someone who identifies with his world, someone who goes through the same demands and pressures he faces. I’m an outsider looking in, only trying to imagine what his life is like when I truly have no idea. I don’t know what hurts worse, having to change to be with him or losing him for just being myself.

He doesn’t say anything more. With a despondent look, he turns around and limps back to his bedroom, leaving me standing in his foyer all alone. Great. Now what am I supposed to do? It’s too late to drive back to Stockton.

I kick off my sandals and curl up on his ivory sofa, pulling down a cashmere throw to drape across my body. I intend to be up and on my way before he wakes up. If he’s going to shut this thing down between us, there’s no chance in hell I’m going to be the one who tries to start it up again.

I gaze out at the twinkling lights of the Manhattan skyline, numb to its beauty. It was a big mistake coming here. Thinking any of this could ever be mine. I don’t belong here. Chase is right. We would never work out in the long run. We’re too different, or maybe deep down we’re both too terrified to admit just how much we’re alike.

Two stubborn, insecure people desperate to push away love.

Chapter Eighteen

Chase

I can’t believe I let her sleep out there alone.

In the back of my mind, I imagined what she’d look like in my apartment. But actually seeing her here among my things threw me. It wasn’t just a matter of conjecture anymore. It was real. And I didn’t handle it well.

I stretch out on my stomach, trying to figure out a plan of attack. Something must have brought her here. Was it the message I left? Did she know I was hurt? It was a pretty bold gesture on her part to drop everything and drive to my apartment in the middle of the night. She’s a lot braver than I am. But I’m the one who has a whole lot more to lose if it all goes wrong.

If I end things with her now, she has a chance to escape back into anonymity. No one needs to know she was here. Irina won’t say a word because of the non-disclosure agreement she signed, and Noah can be trusted to keep his mouth shut. She can still walk away unscathed, and I have to make sure that she does. No matter how much I want her to stay. She should get away from me while she still can.

But for a second, I close my eyes and savor the fact that she’s somewhere in my apartment. If only for one morning, I get to wake up and know she’s close by. I’d rather have her here in bed with me, but after what went down with Irina last night, that just was not going to happen. But I’ll take whatever I can get.

If I leave the safety of my room, I don’t want to spook her by going out there. Whenever I approach her, I never know which way the conversation is going to go. Sometimes it’s relaxed and easy, and other times we’re walking on a precipice ready to fall off the ledge. It’s this push and pull that’s driving me crazy. We want each other, but we can’t have each other. I have to view her strictly as a friend, nothing more. Business as usual. Don’t get involved.

But I have to see her.

I slide out my Egyptian cotton sheets and into a pair of gym shorts. I’m not about to parade out there in my underwear, considering the kind of trouble it got me into the last time. I freakin’ proposed to her, for chrissake. But she’s already seen my tattoos. Why bother putting on a shirt? There’s no need to cover up now.

Cautiously, I open my bedroom door. It’s just after eight a.m. I don’t even know what time Noah came back, if he came back at all. I just hope to God that Grey didn’t sneak out. I want to at least say goodbye to her this time.

My feet sink into the plush carpet, not making a sound. I can’t help but grin as I creep up on her. She’s out for the count as she erupts into a boisterous round of snoring. Man, is she loud.

I could put the TV on mute and see just how badly I’m being ravaged in the headlines, but I’d rather look at her. It makes my heart ache to see her spread out on my couch. Back in Stockton, I imagined us snuggling together, watching a movie, and eating popcorn. Now that she’s actually here, it feels so fleeting, so transient, like a whisper of a dream that will never come true.

I can’t sink to my knees and gaze at her like I want to, so I hoist myself onto the window ledge and watch her sleep. Her bangs are sticking up at an odd angle and one foot is falling off the couch. I don’t know how she can feel comfortable in that position. She looks like she’s going to tumble onto the floor any second.

My phone buzzes on the end table by her head, and I grab it before it can wake her. It’s a text from Noah. Turns out he really didn’t make it home last night.

Hey dude. Don’t worry. Irina didn’t kidnap me. Her flight got delayed, so we checked into the hotel next to the airport. Separate rooms, of course. I’m going to hang out until her plane takes off, probably around noon. I’ll keep you posted if anything changes.

I quickly type out a message saying that his plan is fine with me. It’ll give Grey and me some time to be alone together. We have a lot we need to say to each other, and having Noah around would make things weird. I kind of like having her all to myself, like we were at her trailer.

There are a shitload of other texts on my phone, but I ignore them all. Everyone wants a quote from me about my condition. I got out of it last night, but I can’t dodge the media for long. The Kings are going to expect me to make a statement. Let them craft something and spit it back out there. I mean, what can I say? That I’m pissed? This sucks? I don’t think that’s what they want to hear. God forbid I speak the truth.

Grey stirs in her sleep, no doubt feeling my eyes on her. I can’t stop looking at her. I don’t know when I’ll get another opportunity. Before she fully wakes up, I take a picture of her with my phone. At least I’ll have that. It’s like the only picture I have of her. Tangled hair. Mouth parted. Contorted body. But still as sexy as hell…

She blinks, her warm brown eyes zeroing in on me. It’s like we’re magnetized, the way we’re drawn to each other. She doesn’t even seem surprised to find me staring down at her, like she knew I’d be out here when she woke up. Instead she seems mad, like she thought she’d be able to make a quick exit and now she can’t.

“Good morning, sunshine,” I tease, giving her a smile. I don’t want to fight anymore, and I hope she doesn’t either.

“Where’s my coffee?” she mutters, tucking her head back under the cashmere throw.

“I can make a Starbucks run.” I don’t want to leave her side, but there’s no way I’m taking her with me. That’d be like ratcheting things up to DEFCON one.

She gazes at me knowingly with only her face peeking out.

“What?”

“I think I should come. Shake things up a bit.”

“Grey—”

“I’m serious. It’ll take the heat off your knee, give the press something else to talk about.”

As tempting as it sounds, I’m not going to sacrifice her privacy to ease the transition I’m going to have to face. I’m not a baseball player anymore. There’s no getting around it.

“That’s nice of you, Grey, but—”

“But nothing. Tell your sister to meet us there. Say I’m one of her friends. I’ll stay as far away from you as possible. Nobody will suspect a thing.”

“Wait a minute. You want to meet my sister? Why the hell would you want to do that?”

“Because she’s J.J., right?”

For a moment, the world stops spinning. If Noah betrayed my confidence and told her anything about my sister, I’m going to kill him. I didn’t want anyone to know about her, especially Grey. It’ll give her the wrong idea about me, like I’m a nice guy when I’m not.

“I guessed right, didn’t I? Juliette Justine. I never knew her middle name until I saw that engraved picture frame over there.” Grey seems proud of herself for figuring out my tattoo. Maybe it was just a lucky guess. I hope so, for Noah’s sake, or he’s a dead man.

“That doesn’t explain why you want to meet her.”

“C’mon, Chase. You met my sister. I think it’s time I met yours.”

“Why? It’s not like you need to ask her to be one of your bridesmaids.”

A flicker of hurt flashes across her face, so fast I almost miss it.

We’re getting off track again. She’s always guiding me into places I don’t want to go. I have to retake control of this conversation before it ends with one of us storming out the door.

“But I’ll call J.J. if you want.” I concede to her request and her face lights up.

“You will?”

“Yeah. She usually hates every girl I'm with, so don’t expect her to be nice to you.”

“Well, my mom didn’t name me Grey for nothing.”

“What do you mean?”

“The day I was born, there was this massive storm—”

“Hurricane Grey?”

“Yeah, the one that ravaged practically the entire East Coast, wreaking billions of dollars worth of damage. Perfect namesake, don’t you think?”

“At least your mom has a sense of humor.”

“That or she’s a pretty accurate fortune teller.”

“Your life can’t be all gloom and doom. You seem pretty stable to me.”

“Ah, but looks can be deceiving. You’re Chase Whitfield. You should know.”

Her barb nicks the surface of my heart. She knows what I’m up to, keeping her at arm’s length. It’s impossible to hide anything from her. I don’t even know why I try.

“Why does it feel like we’ve had a million of these little talks when it’s only the second morning we’ve spent together?”

“I don’t know. We’re old souls, I guess.”

“What?”

“Sometimes you can spend years and years with a person and never figure them out, while a moment with someone else is enough to know what makes them tick. It all comes down to compatibility, I suppose. You can’t predict it. You can’t fake it. It just happens. You either get somebody or you don’t. I don’t get many people, but for some strange reason, I get you.”

And out of the thousands of people I’ve met throughout my career, she’s the one I automatically clicked with. She’s right. There’s no explaining it. It just happens. Some hearts beat in sync with each other, and others don’t. It’s the kind of thing poets and philosophers go on and on about. But until I met Grey, I didn’t think that kind of connection actually existed, especially for someone like me who already has everything I could possibly want. Why would I be lucky enough to meet someone like her on top of it all?

“Sorry, Chase. Did I freak you out? I know you’re trying to keep your distance from me. I don’t want to make things any harder than they have to be, but I would like to spend some more time with you before you send me away. I think we owe it to ourselves, don’t you?” Her eyes are shining up at me, and I momentarily lose all sense of time and place. She makes it all sound so easy, and I want to believe that something like this is possible, that we don’t have to let it die.

But I back away anyway. It’s second nature to me. She’s reaching out, and I’m holding back. It’s going to take a lot of practice to get me to stop reacting like this, but maybe if she’s patient enough she can teach me. Because I want to learn.

“Yeah, let’s go for coffee. I’m gonna call J.J. You’re welcome to freshen up in the guest bathroom if you want. It’s right down the hall, first door on the right.” Great. Now I’m getting all formal with her. It’s one of my defense mechanisms. Whenever I have random girls spend the night, it’s how I retreat into myself if they’re still here in the morning. I’m relapsing back into that old pattern of behavior now, and I hate myself for it. Especially after Grey just put herself out there for me like that.

But she seems to understand where my sudden reticence is coming from, and she doesn’t make a big deal about it. She simply nods, smoothing back her hair. Last night, I wanted to take out her ponytail and let her ebony locks flow around her shoulders. I’m itching to touch her now as I open and close my fists. Maybe later, if I can make it through this, it’ll be my reward for good behavior.

But for now, I intend to jerk off in the shower instead.

***

I’m as nervous as all get out as we wait for J.J. to meet us at my apartment. It’s too risky, being seen on the sidewalk alone with Grey. It’s better if we leave from here as a group, keeping my sister in between us. Why give anyone reason to speculate? Grey isn’t the type of girl the paparazzi is used to seeing me with. If we play it right, it’s a good bet they’ll just assume she’s J.J.’s friend or an assistant of mine—nothing more.

But my sister is a wild card. She grills every girl in my life since she thinks no one’s good enough for her big brother. She absolutely hated Irina, so I don’t think she’ll be too bummed to find out she’s been replaced. Well, not exactly replaced, but I don’t know how else to describe my current relationship status with Grey.

As long as we don’t have to deal with my mom, we’ll be okay. If J.J.’s bad, my mom is fifty times worse. She won’t even come to a game if she knows one of my celebrity girlfriends is going to be sitting in the box along with the rest of the players’ wives. She thinks they all just want to bask in my limelight. And she’s probably right, even if she doesn’t want to admit to herself that I’m using them too.

My mom doesn’t know anything about my one-night stands and how I cheat on my contracted girlfriends—and I never intend for her to find out. I’m sure she has a good idea about what goes on, but she’ll never call me on it. It’s too embarrassing for her to acknowledge. I think she ignores my behavior because I’m not married. Otherwise, I think it’d be a different story. Then she’d be on my case like nobody’s business, especially if there were grandkids involved. She’d want me to man up instead of acting like some playboy who can’t keep it in his pants.

I didn’t realize that Grey had an overnight bag with her last night. She must have changed while I was getting ready. She looks spectacular. A pair of denim cutoffs shows off her legs and a cream-colored top covered in tiny flowers hugs her curves. Her hair is piled on top of her head in a messy bun, and there are tiny gold hoops in her ears. For not getting much sleep, she looks fresh-faced and ready to go—an intoxicating blend of wholesome sexiness a guy doesn’t come across too often. I don’t know how she does it. I only wish her hair were down. I like it down. But the view I’m getting of her neck almost makes up for it. There’s a little red mark below one ear. I hope I’m the one who put it there after nuzzling her last night. Even if I can’t tell the world she’s mine, I can still leave my mark on her body.

“Thanks for doing this, Chase. I know you didn’t have to.” She runs her hand up and down my forearm and my dick immediately jerks to life. Shit. I can’t have a hard-on in front of my freakin’ sister.

“It’s cool, Grey. It just sucks being in the media’s crosshairs. But having you and J.J. with me, at least I won’t have to go it alone.”

“You’re not alone,” she replies fiercely, her hand slipping into mine as she gives it a squeeze. “I’ll always be on your side. No matter what happens. You got that? I’m your number one fan, remember?”

Just then, the intercom beeps, causing her to let go of my hand, spoiling the moment. Even if she’s only sympathizing with me, I don’t care. Knowing I have someone like her in my corner means a lot. Even if she doesn’t know I’ll probably never play baseball again.

“Mr. Whitfield, your mother and sister are here. Should I buzz them up?”

Holy fuck. What did Luis say?