Nickolas-1 (14 page)

“I think I have enough pictures for now. I... if I need anything else...I wanna go home, Byron, okay?”

Morgan’s eyes welled up with tears again and he stepped closer and pulled her into his arms anyway. She was stiff at first, and then she sagged against him and cried again. He knew that he was saying things to her, but couldn’t for the life of him make sense of it. He hurt for her.

Pregnant. If she was, and she wasn’t admitting to anything right now, then she’d be ten weeks. She rubbed her hand over her flat belly and shuddered. A baby. Nickolas’ baby. He would never believe her.

Morgan had made Byron promise that he wouldn’t say anything to anyone.

Not even his mother. Especially not his mother. It could be just a mistake.

“Right. A mistake. You are living in a fantasy world if that’s what you think.

I won’t tell anyone, but you have to go and have a test done. Immediately. Take it to Damon. He can be discreet, and if he doesn’t, then I’ll kill him too.”

“
No
! No killing. Promise me. I’ll go take one of those home thingies and see if

...I’ll take one tomorrow. Do you promise not to murder anyone? I’ve been to prison and you’d never make it on the inside. You’re much too pretty. You’d be someone’s boy-toy in no time flat.”

“I promise. But you have to go to Damon if it turns out positive. If you don’t, then I’m going to take it back.”

“All right. Okay.”

She’d gone into three different drug stores on the way home. The buses she had to take to get home stopped that many times, and she made that many purchases. At the first one, she bought three tests and a calendar. She wanted to make sure of her dates. And sitting in the parking lot of the second store waiting for the next leg of her journey, she realized that she hadn’t had a period since before Halloween. At the next stop, she bought four more tests, two candy bars, a can of chips, and a box of condoms. When she came out of the third shop, she had four more tests and three bags of stuff she didn’t remember purchasing.

When she opened the door to her room, she emptied all the bags on the table and sat down and cried again. She had purchased a total of eleven tests, two bags of candied hearts that said things on them, stables for a stapler she didn’t own, a toothbrush, hair spray that she never used, the can of chips, seven candy bars, three boxes of condoms and an infant sleeper. Bright blue.

Morgan didn’t sleep a wink all night. She had laid all four of the tests out on the back of the toilet that night before going to bed, wanting to be ready in case she had to pee sometime in the middle of the night. Of course, she couldn’t have peed if her life depended on it right now, but she wanted to be ready.

By eight-thirty, she got up and took the first test. She was shaking so badly that she wasn’t even sure she’d hit the mark. She pulled open the second one before she’d even set the timer for the first one. She laid both sticks on the counter and left the room. If she sat there watching them, she’d go nuts...well, nuttier anyway.

When the timer went off, Morgan took a deep breath and looked at the little windows. Both were positive. She sat down hard on the toilet and stared at them.

She must have done something wrong, she thought, and wondered vaguely if she could pee again.

Pregnant. Almost three months. What was she going to do now?

A knock on her door startled her sometime later. When she looked at her watch, she couldn’t believe it was almost noon. She’d been in the bathroom for four hours. Nervously, she looked at all eleven boxes of pregnancy tests opened and strewn all over the room. She had peed on twenty-two sticks and all of them read the same. Positive. The knock again, harder and louder this time, had her leaving the bathroom and running to the door. She looked in the peep hole and there stood Byron.

“Not now. Go away, please. I’m...I just took a shower and I’m not dressed yet.” Well, that was partly true, she had taken a shower, and she wasn’t dressed yet.

“Morgan, open the damned door before I break it down. Damon is with me and he has a few things to go over…”

She ripped the door open so quickly that he jumped back. “Are you fucking nuts? What part of ‘promise me you won’t say anything’ did you not understand? Go away. We have nothing to discuss. You stupid jackass, I can’t… I suppose the whole family knows? Damn it.” She stomped her foot and winced.

Byron paid her little mind and walked right in. Damon stood back for maybe ten seconds, and then he barged right in too. Both men sat down on the couch and looked at her.

“Sure, come on in. Make yourselves at home. Can I get you a drink, maybe something to eat?” If they couldn’t hear the sarcasm in her voice, she’d worry about them.

“No, thanks, but when did you eat last? Byron, go in the kitchen and find her something to eat. I’m betting she forgot to eat. How many test have you taken?

Byron, bring her some tea if she has some, if not, lots of juice. Morgan, sit down before you fall down.”

Morgan sat, but not because he told her to, but because she was suddenly dizzy again. That one word kept running through her head. Pregnant. Pregnant.

Pregnant. Over and over until she wanted to scream.

“Twenty-two. I used all of them. What am I gonna do? I don’t have the means to raise a baby on my own. I barely have enough for myself.” She looked around the room she rented over the bar. There wasn’t even room for a crib much less a toddler.

“Let’s cross that bridge in a minute. Right now, I want to take a blood test and confirm your twenty-two other tests, all right?” Damon was telling her gently.

Morgan barely registered Byron’s comment on the tests she’d taken. Didn’t even notice when Damon rolled up her robe and gently took out some of her blood. She just lay back on the chair and closed her eyes. Suddenly, she was so tired.

It was dark out when she woke up. There was a tantalizing smell coming from somewhere close and she realized how hungry she was. She sat up slowly and tried to remember getting into bed again, then remembered Byron and Damon and why they were there.

Morgan heard them then, or at least she supposed it was them. She didn’t want to talk with them just yet and went into the bathroom. Someone had cleaned up and had taken out the entire mess along with the boxes and bags. She was grateful for that. She didn’t think she could look at them again.

After a very long hot shower, she got dressed and went to the door. She had given herself a good talking to while in the shower and felt better equipped to deal with whatever happened now. Hell, maybe the tests she’d taken were faulty and she wasn’t ... yeah right and she could live with the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus when she got hugely round.

“Hello. You hungry? I have linguine and marinara sauce. Garlic bread and a salad. You didn’t have much in the way of food, so we went shopping while you were napping. Come on while it’s hot.” Damon had cooked for her. Whatever had happened with the tests, it wasn’t good.

“Tell me.” She didn’t move as Byron came into the little kitchenette and sat down next to his brother.

“You’re pregnant. As I’m sure you’d already figured out. If what we think happened when we think it did then I’d say you’re due around the first of September, give or take five days.”

“
If
you think happened
when
it happened? You mean when I had sex? Yes, well that’s my business. I thank you for your concern, but I’d like you two to leave now. I have to ... I have things to do.” She walked over to the door and opened it wide. Neither of them moved.

“Is it Nicky’s baby, Morgan? Because if it is, then you’re wrong if you think it’s not our concern. Nicky will stand up for you and that child. I’ll...we’ll make sure he does,” Damon said. She glanced over at Byron. He shook his head slightly. He hadn’t told him.

“No, it’s mine and only mine. I’d like for you both the leave now. I appreciate your concern, but it’s nothing to do with you. Any of you. If you send me a bill, I’ll pay you for your time.” Damon stared at her. She didn’t squirm or fidget like she normally did when people were disappointed in her, but stared right back.

“Come on, Damon, let’s go. She’s right. It’s none of our concern,” Byron said to his brother. Finally, Damon stood up, too, and walked toward the door. She wanted to cry with relief, but stood her ground.

“Here is a list of doctors in the Zanesville area that will take good care of you. This is a prescription for prenatal vitamins that you need to start taking right away. Stay off you feet as much as possible and eat lots of fruit. If you can’t afford anything, and I mean anything, Morgan, you call me.” She took the offered sheets from him, but didn’t say a word. She was afraid that if she opened her mouth, she’d beg them to take care of her.

After she heard them pull out of the lot, she sat down at the table again.

Without a thought as to what she was eating, she filled her plate and began putting the food into her mouth, chewed, swallowed, then did it again until the plate was empty. Getting up, she began cleaning up the kitchen and going over the layout of the pictures she’d taken yesterday—
was it only yesterday?
—of Byron’s art. After she’d cleaned up, she pulled her laptop to her and began setting the pages up. She got up twice to use the bathroom and to get a drink of water. Not once did she think of the baby or Nickolas Grant.

“Do you think its Nicky’s baby?” They’d been driving for about ten minutes when Damon asked him. Byron was actually surprised that he had waited so long. He wasn’t any closer on how to answer him than when they’d gotten in the car.

“Morgan is my friend, Damon. I…she said things when we figured it out that I don’t think...she probably regrets saying to me.”

“Like what? Did he rape her? I’ll kill the son of a bitch.” That had been Byron’s first thought, too, when he’d figured it out, but he knew it wasn’t true. He’d seen the way his brother had looked at her during dinner at Mom’s. And the pain on his face at seeing her hurt at the apartment before they left for Thanksgiving. The apartment she’d been living in.

That apartment bothered him the most. Every time he thought about her living conditions while she’d lived there, he cringed. She had set up the bathroom like a small cell, her books all lined up on the long counter. Toothpaste and other toiletries were in a neat line on a hand towel that he knew he’d never owned. First, because it was neon bright pink. Secondly, it was bright pink.

Morgan had only lived in the bathroom and used the kitchen as a sort of mess hall. The single fork, spoon, and knife were on the counter along with her white plate, bowl, and mug. There wasn’t a glass in the whole room. There was a whole case of dried noodles sitting on the counter next to the stove in a variety of flavors and nothing in the fridge. The only thing in the freezer had been Nicky’s credit card. When Mick had come by to get her things on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, the only thing he took was her cash and the sleeping bag, which had been laid out in the tub like a cot. He also grabbed her clothes, all of which had been neatly folded and put in a plastic grocery sack in the bottom of the linen closet. The money had been taped to the bottom of the sink drawer in a folded newspaper. She had two-hundred-thirty-three dollars.

Neither man had said a word about either the way she lived, nor why he was picking up her things.

Both men were quiet for about thirty minutes when Damon startled Byron out of his thoughts. “If it is his, which I’m betting it is, then do you think we should say something to him?”

“No. She’d kill us both. I think we should just do this her way. If we don’t...I’m afraid she’ll run. I don’t want to lose her.”

“Are you in love with her, Byron?” Byron had told Damon that he’d had Morgan doing a web design for his work and that he’d seen her a lot over the past few months. He never mentioned whose baby it was, or what he thought.

“Yes. No. Not the way you think. I love her, but like a baby sister. She’s a great kid, so yeah, I guess I love her.”

Damon didn’t say anything for the rest of the ride to Columbus and the Grant building. “I really like her, too. Byron, did you notice she didn’t ask about an abortion?” He shut the door to the car and was gone before he could form an answer. No, he hadn’t noticed. But he was glad she hadn’t.

~~~

“Are you gonna keep it?” Mrs. Sugar asked her. She wanted to answer her unequivocally yes, but she wasn’t stupid. She couldn’t raise a baby on her own.

She had no job, no insurance, and no one to help her. As much as she wanted to, it just wasn’t feasible.

She had told Mick and his wife that she was pregnant last week. If they were going to kick her out of the apartment, she needed to start looking soon. She was already three months gone and would need somewhere safe to stay until the kid was born.

“I’m not sure I can raise a baby. I don’t know the first thing about them. I’m sorta leaning toward adoption right now.” She couldn’t look at her. The Sugars had been so kind to her, so supportive.

“Well, you have a few months yet. If you need help or have any questions, I’m just around the corner. And I can be a great Lamaze coach. I’ve raise nine children, so I got a little knowledge under my belt.” When Mrs. Sugar started to leave, Morgan panicked.

“Wait! I need to know how long you’re gonna give me. I know you don’t really owe me anything, but I would ... “

“What are you going on about, child? Give you time for what?” Morgan flushed all the way to her toes. “Aren’t you gonna toss me out? I know that I’m pregnant and I have no right, but I need just a little time. I’ve just started working again, making some money. I don’t have any insurance and the three doctors I called are really, really expensive. One guy wanted me to pay up front for the whole delivery. I don’t have eleven thousand dollars just lying around. The vitamins were fifty-three dollars a month and that was with a coupon. I can be out by the end of the month, if that’s okay with you?” Morgan wiped at the tears running down her cheeks. She’d like to blame it on hormones, but she knew it was because she felt like a failure to them. And to herself.