New Species 13 Smiley (14 page)

“I have an important question but I don’t want to make you
uncomfortable again. It has bothered me every waking moment since the other
night. I need to ask.”

She braced for it. “Okay.”

“Did I hurt you, Vanni?” His gaze lowered to her lap and
then lifted to stare directly at her. “Was the sex too rough?”

“I’m fine.” She hadn’t expected that and was glad she was
seated.

“Really.” He frowned, studying her.

It was an awkward topic. He’d said it was important for him
to know but she wasn’t about to admit she’d been a little sore the next day.

“You didn’t hurt me. I have a few bruises but it’s no big
deal. You’re strong.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. They don’t hurt.”

“You passed out afterward and I feared I’d damaged you.”

“I think it was from being drugged. I told you I’m a chair
jockey. It was…” She wasn’t sure how to explain it without humiliating herself.

“It was what?” He leaned in a little closer and flattened
his hand on the couch next to her knee. “Please talk to me. Don’t allow your
shyness to stop you from being blunt. There’s no need with me. You can tell me
anything.”

“I don’t talk about sex with men,” Vanni admitted
hesitantly. “I haven’t dated that many guys and they always tended not to
appreciate a discussion about it.”

“I’m not them.” His voice deepened as he continued, “I
welcome this conversation.”

She licked her lips and pushed herself to be more forward
and forthcoming than normal. “I’m out of shape. I told you I don’t work out the
way you do. That drug put me through the wringer, okay? I was sweating, then
freezing and then we were touching.” Embarrassment forced her gaze to his chin
at that point. “I think I was exhausted. That’s why I conked out.”

He said nothing so she looked up again. She didn’t see any
negative emotions in his expression. He actually appeared happy when he smiled.
It reached his eyes that time. It encouraged her to go on.

“Plus it was really extreme, you know? I’ve never felt that
way before.”

“You are talking about the sex?” He lowered his tone to one
that gave her chills. It was the good kind again and she remembered that about
him too. He could talk a certain way that turned her on.

“Yes.”

“Sharing sex while drugged is very powerful.”

“That’s an understatement if I ever heard one. I thought I
was going to die.” She’d survived the uncomfortable talk and breathed easier,
her tense muscles relaxing. “Are you okay? I worried about you too.”

“I’m fine. Species are tough. There were a few uncomfortable
hours after I woke but my jaw was only bruised.”

“I hurt your jaw?” She leaned forward, peering at his lower
face. She didn’t see any scratches or bruises. He had flawless skin.

“No. Brass punched me to knock me out. I had some marks but
they faded fast.”

“Why would he do that? I don’t remember that part. I thought
I remembered it all.”

“It was after you passed out. We were about to be driven to
Homeland and I was extremely worried about you.”

Vanni realized their faces were inches apart and her gaze
locked with his. “Why would he hit you?”

“He was afraid I wouldn’t be able to resist touching you
again even though you were unconscious.”

It took a moment to sink in. “He thought you’d…” She couldn’t
finish that sentence.

“Mount you while you were out.” He didn’t have a problem
speaking the words. “It was a genuine concern. I was highly aroused and wanted
to keep touching you. I believe I would have resisted the urge but it was best
that I wasn’t tested.”

“Oh.” She leaned back a little. “Does your jaw hurt at all?”

“No.” He put his other hand on the couch, one on either side
of her knees. “Don’t be afraid of me, Vanni.”

“I’m not. I’m sitting here with you. I wouldn’t do that if I
thought you’d do something bad to me. I’d scream. I know there’s a guard
outside my door.”

“I sent Wager away.”

That news stunned her. “Why?”

“I wanted us to have some privacy.”

She wasn’t sure how to take that. Smiley rose to his knees
and she realized he had her pinned where she sat. Her heart rate increased but
it wasn’t caused by fear. “Why?”

“Species have excellent senses and I didn’t want him to
overhear anything said between us.”

She wanted to get something off her chest. “It was the
bartender who drugged us. Gregory Woods admitted that to me last night. I didn’t
lie to you. I wasn’t the one who dosed our drinks.”

“I believe you.”

“But you thought I had at first.”

“You have a very expressive face, Vanni. I think you’d tell
lies badly. I like that you’re easy to read. Right now you’re nervous. There’s
no need to be.”

“You can tell that?”

He glanced at her chest. “You have accelerated breathing and
your eyes are wide. I don’t see fear though. I’m grateful for that. The last
thing I want to do is frighten you.”

“Do you want me to tell you everything I’ve learned? I went
to see Carl last night to return the ring and—”

“Tell me you no longer belong to that male.”

She gasped at his harsh tone.

“Sorry.” He softened his voice. “You no longer wear his
ring. I looked. Your finger is bare. I heard what you said on the phone when
you called Homeland. You were held against your will and that male doesn’t
deserve you. He should be beaten for allowing anyone to hurt you in any way. I’ll
make him bleed if I ever get the chance to meet him.”

Wow.
She could tell he felt strongly about it and it
was kind of hot hearing him make threats against her ex. He looked pissed but
she knew it wasn’t directed at her. “It’s so over.”

“Are you in love with that male?”

“No.” She felt the need to excuse why she’d ever been with
Carl. “I think I wanted to see things in him that weren’t really there.”

“You dated a bad male once and this one seemed better than
the last one?” Smiley was good at guessing.

“Yes.”

“You wished to get married and start a family?”

“That was the plan but not anymore. Carl is an ass. I feel
sorry for anyone who dates him now that I know how he really is.”

“Good.” Smiley smiled, his anger gone. “That means no male
has a claim on you.”

Claim on you
. She blinked, repeating his words in her
head. “I guess.”

Silence stretched between them and it made her aware that
she knew very little about the man she’d had sex with. They’d been intimate but
she had no idea what to say to him. Nerves made her clutch at the hem of her
shirt. Smiley glanced down at the movement and made a soft sound in the back of
his throat.

“Are you okay?”

He looked up. “Yes. Sorry. I didn’t mean to rumble at you.”

“Why did you?”

“I’m frustrated but it’s my problem.”

“Why?”

He licked his lips again and his hands flexed against the
couch cushions. “You’re skittish and I am afraid I’m going to make you want to
get away from me. That’s the last thing I want. I have so much to talk to you
about and so many questions I want to ask. I just don’t know how to do it
without worrying that I’ll offend or upset you.”

Vanni could relate. She felt the same way, minus the fear of
him running away from her. “We’re strangers but we’re not. You’re nervous too?”

“Yes.” He smiled. “What would make you more comfortable with
me? Tell me and I’ll do it.”

She smiled back. “I don’t know but I won’t run away. You
kind of have me blocked in.”

He didn’t move. “Does it bother you that I’m so close?”

She debated it. “No.”

“Good. We’ll just talk. Do you remember everything that
happened at the hotel that night? We’ll start there. At first I did think you
drugged me but I believed you when you told me you hadn’t. You actually saved
us, Vanni.”

“Saved us?” She shook her head. “How did I do that? We were
both drugged and we had sex. I wouldn’t call that a save.”

Smiley regretted the words. He could see Vanni’s distress.
That wasn’t the reaction he’d expected. His chest tightened enough to make
drawing air difficult. He felt protective of the female but he was the one
causing her anguish.

“Easy,” he crooned. He wanted to stroke her but resisted. It
was hard not to touch her but he wasn’t sure if she’d allow it yet. He battled
his desires, considering her needs. “Just take a few deep breaths.”

She followed his orders and it made him realize just how
different she was from Species females. One of them would have punched him
already for encroaching on her personal space and for telling her how to
breathe. They also wouldn’t get nervous every time he got too close. He knew he
should back away and take a seat across the room. He just couldn’t do it.

The scent of Vanni was different from before but it was the
products she’d used when she’d showered. He made a mental note to ask her later
what kind of things she bought and to obtain them for her. It was low in
priority though. He needed to figure out how to get her to let her guard down
and let him in.

His gaze dropped to her lap and he muffled a groan. He
wanted in, all right. He wanted to push up her shirt and spread her thighs. His
dick hardened just thinking about how incredible it would feel to claim her
again. One look into her eyes, though, assured him she wasn’t ready to share
sex. He’d have to go very slowly and figure out how to deal with Vanni. Just
offering to share sex wasn’t an option. He’d have to work up to it.

It was important that Vanni trust him. The little he knew of
human females assured him that was the only way he’d be allowed to stay with
her. He didn’t want to leave. It would drive him insane if he had to stalk
around his apartment while she was at Homeland.
Wager and other males aren’t
going to take my female.
He inwardly winced at thinking of her that way but
it was the truth. She was his.

He suddenly felt even more sympathy for the males who’d fallen
for humans. It had seemed simple in theory to persuade one of them to allow a
male into her bed and heart. The reality of it was anything but easy.
Everything he knew about human dating rituals wouldn’t apply at Homeland. He
refused to take her out to dinner at the bar. He’d have to punch other males
when they attempted to gain her attention. The show of violence might leave her
with the impression that he was a vicious male.

Vanni finally spoke and it was only then that he realized
the silence had stretched between them again. “How could you say that?”

He struggled to remember what he’d said. She reminded him.

“How did I save us?”

“The drug I was given, if it is a full dose is…” He didn’t
want to horrify her but he wouldn’t lie. “I would have been too mindless with a
driving need for sex to care if I hurt you or how bad. At full dose the
breeding drug Mercile created to use on us causes brutal sexual behavior and
total memory loss. You alerted me to your symptoms instead of hiding them.
Luckily I didn’t finish my drink. That could have been tragic.”

“I got a lot of the drug and I remember it all.”

“The drug you were given was a milder version. We’d heard
from an employee who worked there that a research facility associated with
Mercile Industries had tested the new version. She stated they were creating it
to use on human females. We believe the Woods Church must have obtained it from
them.”

“Gregory said he bought it from someone but he didn’t
mention a name. He called the drug B-47.”

“Our task force is interviewing everyone from that facility
to see who sold it to the church.”

“We were guinea pigs for some untested drug then?”

“We used the term lab rat when we were the subjects of
Mercile’s testing. Full dosage of the breeding drug they used on us would kill
a human. It makes me furious knowing what could have happened to you. I talked
to the doctor after I returned to Homeland. You could have suffered heart
failure or seizures that might have resulted in your death.”

It made him icy cold inside just imagining her lifeless
body. He wanted to go to Fuller Prison himself and interrogate everyone from
Drackwood. They needed proof though, before they took on the Woods Church.
Otherwise Pastor Gregory Woods would accuse the NSO of targeting them because
of their outspoken views against New Species. It was a publicity nightmare they
didn’t need.

He stared into her eyes and hated to see the pain there. She’d
been dragged into his world but he wasn’t sorry she was there. He wouldn’t have
met her if they hadn’t been targeted. He could regret the circumstances but
never the outcome. Vanni was just inches away from him, right where he wanted
her to be.

Vanni let it all sink in. Smiley had lived a hellish life.
She’d only been drugged once but he’d survived countless episodes that were far
worse than what she’d experienced. He’d helped her through the worst of it but
he’d been alone at Mercile Industries. She suddenly had sympathy like never
before for New Species.

“Are you sure I didn’t harm you during sex, Vanni?” His
voice softened. “You could tell me if I did.”

She looked away, unable to stand seeing the pained look in
his eyes. “I really don’t want to talk about this.”

He softly cursed. “I did hurt you. I’m so sorry.”

Smiley sounded tormented and it made her feel guilty. He
deserved total candor, even if it made her squirm. She looked at him and
reached out to place her hand on his arm. The skin-to-skin contact helped her
feel connected to him.

“I get embarrassed. That’s why I don’t want to talk about
this. The only person I gave any details to about that night was my best
friend. She’s the only one I’m comfortable discussing sex with. I was a little
tender the next morning but it wasn’t because you did anything wrong. I’m fine
now.”

“I was too rough.” He winced. “I understand. Thank you for
sharing the truth with me. You were so tight that I feared I’d tear you a
little. You should have one of our doctors look at you, Vanni.”

His bluntness startled her but she recovered quickly. “You’re
very open about things, aren’t you?”

He nodded. “My people believe in total honesty.”

She swallowed and took a deep breath. Her cheeks were
probably burning but she was willing to risk a bit of discomfort for Smiley.

“I don’t think I tore. I mean, I’m not in any pain. I just
hadn’t had sex in a while. I have a tough time being so direct about sex. We
didn’t talk about it in my house growing up. It was kind of taboo.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Mom never brought it up unless you count
telling us a stork dropped us off when we were babies. My dad was hardly home.
My sister and brother were older so they didn’t say much. It was more of a
warning about don’t-let-men-talk-me-into-getting-naked-or-I’d-end-up-pregnant
kind of thing. Beth was the one who gave me the sex talk when I was in my
teens.”

His eyebrows shot up. “A stork?”

“You never heard that? Parents make up a story for kids to
avoid telling them the truth about sex. They say that a big bird flies in and
that’s how babies arrive.”

He laughed. “We openly talk about sex. Do you have any
questions about me since we shared sex? We’re a little different physically
than your fully human males.”

“You’re larger.” She felt her cheeks grow warm.

“Yes. Our muscle density is usually greater and we were
engineered to be taller and larger in bone structure than most all your males.”

“I meant…” She couldn’t finish that sentence.

He smiled. “Our dicks?”

She nodded sharply.

“We were genetically designed to be larger all over. We don’t
have a lot of body hair either. That is strange since we were given DNA from
animals with fur. I’m glad I don’t have fur.”

Vanni grinned. “Yeah. That would kind of suck in the summer
when it’s hot.”

Smiley chuckled. “I like it when you let your guard down
with me. You have a wonderful smile.”

“So do you.”

His smile faded. “I was sexually attracted to you before the
drugs. Were you even a little sexually attracted to me?”

Her mood sobered. “I don’t think we should discuss this.”

“You’re not sexually attracted to me in the least then?”

She stared into his eyes. “Why do you want to know?”

“I’m aroused being close to you. There are no drugs now.”

She gaped a little, astonished that he’d admit that. It took
a lot of restraint not to glance down at his lap to see if he meant that in a
literal sense.

Smiley hesitated, studying her face. “I wish to touch you
and see what is between us without the aid of drugs.”

“That’s a bad idea.”

“Why? I want you, Vanni. I have thought of nothing else
since that night.”

“I can’t have sex with you, if that’s what you want.”

Smiley’s shoulders sagged. “You aren’t attracted to me.”

The sad look on his face almost broke her heart. She couldn’t
stand seeing him that way. “I am. It’s just that I believe in love before sex.
We jumped into it and I don’t know how to feel about that. We’ve been intimate
but we know so little about each other. It’s uncomfortable for me.”

“Why? Do you think you’re unable to love me? Is it because I’m
not fully human?”

“I don’t even know you.”

He leaned in closer. “We can remedy that by getting to know
each other. I’m taking you out tomorrow and we’re here together now. We just
need to keep talking.”

She couldn’t deny the logic. “We could try that.”

“Do you believe anything your church says about us?”

“I’m not a member of the Woods Church and the stuff Gregory
spewed was horrible.”

“That’s a good start. I know they hate us but I don’t know
why.”

“I refuse to repeat that crap again. It was miserable enough
telling Justice the kind of stuff they said while I was locked in that room
listening to their garbage.”

He just stared at her. She caved under his steady gaze.

“It’s kind of confusing because they are nuts but it seems
they think you guys are going to figure out a way to make an army of New
Species and enslave the world. Or kill everyone. Maybe in that order. Did you
ever see…” She shut up. “Never mind.”

“Did I ever see what? Talk, Vanni. We should have no
secrets. You can say anything to me.”

“Fine. You know those horror movies where apes take over the
world? I think they watched them too many times or something.” She cringed. “Sorry.
I totally don’t want to offend you because I don’t think that way. You’re an
amazing person. I don’t share their beliefs. It’s stupid. They are just idiots.
Everyone knows New Species can’t even have kids.”

He looked away and his gaze drifted around the room. He
finally looked at her again, glanced down at her stomach and then closed his
eyes.

“Smiley? I’m so sorry.” She felt bad. “I shouldn’t have said
that. It’s just that it was the only reference I thought of. Really. Please don’t
be angry at me.”

He opened his eyes and stared at her. “I’m not angry. I
promise. I could never be angry with you.”

“You’re upset.” She didn’t believe him. “You’re primate,
right? That ape reference was just unforgivable. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not upset.”

“I would be. I should just shut up. You make me nervous. I’m
making a mess out of—”

“I want to kiss you.”

That silenced her. She was flabbergasted.

His gaze fixed on her mouth. He moved in closer, his body
almost touching hers. “Let me kiss you, Vanni.”

“I…”

She wasn’t sure what to do or say. He didn’t really give her
a chance to come up with a response. His mouth descended over hers. She closed
her eyes and was amazed at how soft his lips were. His tongue swiped her lower
one and she gasped. He used that opening to deepen the kiss.

Smiley took charge of her mouth in a way that left her
grasping his shirt just for something to cling to. He pressed tighter against
her until they were chest to chest and she was pushed against the yielding
couch cushions. The passion he hit her with left her reeling when he suddenly
stopped. He pulled away a few inches. She opened her eyes to stare into his.
Her heart hammered and she panted as if she’d just been jogging. She was
speechless but he wasn’t.

“We have chemistry. You do know me, Vanni. Stop thinking and
just feel.”

He went for her mouth again, cupping her face with one of
his hands to keep her in place. She didn’t fight but instead closed her eyes
again and welcomed his hot mouth meeting hers. She opened up to him without any
urging the second time. There was no gentleness in the second kiss, more of a
raw hunger. She met it. Her body did remember him and yearned to be touched.

He seemed to know it since his free hand firmly gripped her
thigh and slid higher. The cotton shirt rode up over the back of his hand as he
used his thumb to stroke her thigh, inching up. She moaned against his tongue
and he rumbled in response. He broke the kiss and they stared at each other
again.

“Spread your thighs wide and scoot your ass to the edge of
the couch.”

She glanced down and realized how high her shirt had risen.
She released him and grabbed for the hem, trying to shove it down to hide her
exposed pussy. Smiley moved faster, releasing her thigh and face. He captured
her wrists before she could recover her modesty. He shook his head.

“Don’t hide from me.”

“Let go.”

“We’ve shared sex but I’ve never seen you here. It was too
dark to enjoy the sight before. Spread open and show me.”

“You’re seeing. All you have to do is look down.”

He slowly shook his head. “Not enough. I want to see all of
you.”

“I’m not taking off my shirt.”

“Put your hands up and hold the top of the couch.”

“Why?”

His smiled. “You know what I want to do.”

She shook her head. “I don’t.”

His eyes narrowed and his expression grew somber. “How many
males have you known, Vanni?”

“Two.”

“Didn’t you ever show them your sex? Didn’t they ever want
to spread you open and appreciate you?”

She swallowed. “No.”

He emitted a deep, sexy rumbling sound.

“Why are you making that noise?”

“I’m turned-on. I rumble. It’s a good thing. We’ve shared
sex. Share this with me. Let me see you, Vanni. I know how you feel here
because I’ve been inside you. It was the best feeling I’ve ever experienced.
Reach up and hold the top of the couch. You will enjoy me seeing you.”

“I don’t think so.”

“You’re beautiful and there is no need to be shy. My
nakedness does not embarrass me. Your nakedness makes me hurt with wanting to
touch you.”

“Well, you work out and you’re in perfect shape. I’m not.”

“I like your shape. It is a turn-on.” Smiley moved her
wrists, lifting them high, and then bent them until her hands touched the back
of the couch. “Hold on right here and don’t let go. Close your eyes if it helps
you relax, Vanni. You’ll enjoy what I do to you.” He lowered his voice and
murmured, “Please?”

“We shouldn’t be doing this. It’s too fast.”

“I’ll go slower. Will you hold on to the couch?”

She dug her fingers into the cushion. He eased his hold on
her wrists and stunned her by gripping her hips and yanking her closer to him.
It spread her thighs and he turned his hip, pressed between her knees and
widened them. She looked down and bit back a curse. The shirt had bunched at
her belly, leaving her completely exposed from the waist down. It was bright in
the living room and everything was in perfect clarity.

He lowered his chin to stare at the V of her thighs. “Beautiful.
I can’t wait to taste you.”

She tensed. “I know people do that but I don’t.”

His head snapped up and his eyes widened. “What?”

“Oral sex, right?” She figured her cheeks were probably neon
red at that point. “I don’t. I’ve never.”

He just continued to gape at her. It made her feel kind of
like a freak, as if something were wrong with her. She felt the need to explain.

“I have given. I just don’t get.” She released the couch
cushion and tried to grab her shirt to shove it down but he captured her wrists
again, holding them in place.

“Stupid human males. What was wrong with them?”

“It just never happened.” She tried to wiggle away but it
was hard to do with her wrists being held and Smiley’s hips between her knees.

He shook his head. “I’m not letting this go. Grab the couch
again and hold still.”

“I’m not comfortable with that.”

“You will be by the time I’m done.”

“Let go.”

“Not a chance.” They stared at each other until he lifted
her arms again. “Grab.” He pressed her hands against the top of the couch. “Close
your eyes if it helps. We are going to do this.”

She shook her head. “You just wanted to see and now you want
to do more than that.”

“You’re shy. You don’t like males to see you naked or to
have your pussy exposed?”

“That’s right.”

Smiley’s pretty eyes lit with amusement. “I sent Wager away
from the front door but there is another guard posted in the backyard. I didn’t
make him go away.”

“Why are you telling me that?”

“He’ll rush in here if you yell out. We’d have company in
less than thirty seconds.” He tilted his head toward the slider. “He’d smash
through it thinking I was harming you, which I’d never do. You don’t want him
to see you naked, do you?”

“No!”

“Keep that in mind. Be very quiet, my little Vanni. I’m
going to show you what you have missed. Otherwise they will rush in here to
save you from me.”

She gasped when he suddenly released her wrists and gripped
her rib cage. He lifted, pulling her right off the couch. He was strong enough
to lay her on the carpet before she realized what he intended. He lifted up,
let go of her and then gripped her behind her knees. He bent them up and spread
them as he slid lower. She couldn’t miss the grin on his face right before he
lowered it precariously close to her sex.

Her mouth opened but she remembered his warning. He reminded
her in case she’d forgotten though.

“Relax for me, little Vanni. You will enjoy this. Try to
keep quiet. I’m not shy about sex but you are.”

“Smiley, whatever you’re going to do, don’t. I—”

She gasped again when he ignored her and all she could see
was the top of his head. The feel of his tongue swiping across her clit was
something she wasn’t prepared for. It was hot and wet, the slightly rough
texture a shock to her system. It felt good though, as a sensation of extreme
pleasure jolted upward. Every muscle in her body seemed to go rigid.