Never Surrender (10 page)

What if there was some truth in what Aiyana said? Many
times she had told Kate to listen to her heart. How would she feel if Taima
actually felt something for her?

An image formed of the Indian rejoicing over the scalp
he’d collected at the wagons, and Kate shuddered. They were all savages, she
should know better! Yet Taima insisted his people were different. Her muscles
knotted in anger as she yanked on the strap of the pouch she carried.

The mid-day’s sun shone bright in the clear blue sky.
A perfect day for travel if not for learning secrets. The ascension up the
mountain made Kate’s head throb at the temples, but she said nothing. Those
around her didn’t seem affected by the higher altitudes as they continued
talking.

Though summer was upon them, the cooler air clung to
the higher regions, making Kate glad she’d accepted the long-sleeved doeskin
dress. She adjusted the heavy leather pouch on her back and took a cleansing
breath of the fresh pine-scented air.

Aiyana touched her arm. “Kate, are you all right?”

“I think I’m going to be sick,” she answered, holding
her forehead.

“That happens to those not used to coming into the
mountains. Once we start down the other side, you should start to feel better.
It won’t be much longer now. We’ll rest there, then continue on and make camp
at the lake before the high, jagged mountain peaks.”

Once the group stopped to rest, Kate felt better and
ate more of the dried meat and berries. With renewed energy and an easier
declining slope, she enjoyed the vast openness. Her heart nearly stopped when
she viewed the most beautiful, snow-covered mountains she’d seen thus far. The
jagged peaks rose into the clouds. There appeared no end to this creation.
Dense pine forests dotted the huge valley nestled between here and the grand,
rugged mountains. Below, a herd of elk leisurely meandered through the
sagebrush.

She walked on with the group until they made camp for
the night at the northern end of the lake. The dense woods along the shoreline
gave them protection against the wind. Everyone pitched in to help get bedded
down.

* * * * *

Early the next morning, Kate dragged herself from
under her warm buffalo hide to begin the last leg of their trip. Her shoulders
hurt from carrying the pouch and her leg muscles were stiff from walking. But
she refused to utter a word of complaint lest Taima ridicule her for that as
well. Instead, she rolled her shoulders backward a few times, hoping to release
the tightness.

An hour later, Kate trudged along with the rest of
Taima’s people, trying her best to keep up. The land slowly started another
incline. She hoped this mountain wouldn’t be as high as the previous one where
the altitude had made her nauseous.

Taima kept looking back in her direction then would
look away after they had made eye contact.

Now what did he want? He hadn’t bothered to say more
than a few words to her since they’d left the lean-tos. Some way of showing her
he had feelings for her, she thought with a grumble, which only proved her own
theory correct. What did she care? Kate hiked the pouch higher onto her back.
It was no secret they disliked each other, so why did Ahanu insist on seeing
things in a whole different light?

Aiyana was lucky to have someone as sensitive to her
feelings as Ahanu. He seemed to pick up on the way others felt; like a sixth
sense. Even the way he caressed Aiyana’s cheek or touched her shoulder told
those around him of his love for her.

The only thing Taima’s actions told others was that he
couldn’t stand having Kate around. This time when he turned to glance at her,
she narrowed her eyes, causing his eyebrows to furrow. She looked away first.
Perhaps if she intentionally ignored him, he’d not continue to scowl at her.

Kate played games with the children as they walked on,
making the time pass much quicker.

Before she realized the sun had dipped behind the
mountain peaks, Taima’s people arrived at a small village of vacant lean-tos
positioned near the north end of the second lake they passed. Everyone let out
shouts of cheering. At least Kate was not the only one grateful to finally
arrive at their destination. A roof over her head this night would at least
stop the dew from dampening her hair.

Kelee grasped her hand and led the way to the lean-to
he wanted them to use. Taima followed. With a shrug of his shoulder, he
approved Kelee’s choice.

“I’m going to catch us some fresh fish for supper
while you and Kelee unpack. We’ll be here for five or six sleeps,” Taima said.

“Noshi...I want to go with you.”

Taima glanced at Kate, as if asking her permission.
She smiled and shooed him on his way; she could unpack alone. He and Kelee
needed time together after such a long journey. She gathered sticks and twigs
and a few heavier logs for a cooking fire. Striking two flint stones together,
a spark burst into a flame, surprising even her. Matches would have been easier
than scrapping these two stones together, Kate mused.

Laughter from Taima’s people drew her attention until
she turned to see them watching her. She stood, took a deep bow, then extended
her hand toward the blazing fire and they all laughed again.

Their smiling faces touched her heart; a friendly
gesture, but she didn’t think it would be possible for her to live among these
people. They would never accept her anymore than she could accept their way of
living. She turned to add more wood to the fire, then sat down with a long
stick, poking at the embers. Thoughts of Taima with another woman crowded her
mind. Who could the other woman be that she hadn’t made herself known by now?
And exactly what was it about Taima that caught her attention, she wondered.

“Kate! Kate! Look how many fish we caught. We’ll have
a feast tonight. You do like fish, yes?” Kelee beamed, holding up two succulent
trout while Taima held two more still dripping with water.

“I love fish, Kelee.” She glanced up, surprised to
find that Taima’s smile lit his blue eyes. A beaded leather headband held back
his blue-black hair, which cascaded over his shoulders to caress a broad,
muscled chest. Taima’s chiseled jaw line, his most distinguished feature, drew
Kate’s gaze.

He cleared his throat.

His deep voice caught her attention and she met his
gaze. “My son has called your name twice.”

Heat quickly rose to her cheeks. She turned toward
Kelee. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“Father said we could all sleep in the same lean-to
tonight.”

Her gaze darted back to Taima’s, astonished that he
would tell Kelee such a thing. Taima raised an eyebrow and shrugged a shoulder.

“I don’t know, Kelee. But we could give it some
thought, though,” Kate said as she stood to inspect his catch. “Are you ready
to cook these fish?”

By the time Kate had cleaned up after the meal, she
wanted to relax. Darkness descended upon them faster than Kate realized and the
next thing she knew, Kelee pulled her toward the lean-to.

“I put your blanket in the middle so you would stay
extra warm.”

He scurried away from her and burrowed beneath the
hides, keeping to one side. The happiness on his face at the three of them
sharing the lean-to touched her heart. How could she disappoint him? Without a
second thought, Kate cuddled beside Kelee, who backed against her. She couldn’t
help but put her arm around his tiny body. His small hand began caressing her
arm.

After a few moments, Kelee slept soundly, his small
fingers holding tight to her arm. Kate lay awake wondering if Taima would join
them. As if reading her thoughts, he stepped inside.

Taima knelt beside his son, then brushed a dark strand
of hair from Kelee’s cheek. “He hasn’t gotten this close to any of the women of
my people, not even Aiyana,” Taima said in a quiet voice.

Kate watched the tenderness he bestowed on the boy.
“If only children understood how complicated life really is,” she added.

Taima stood, looking down at her. “He has more plans
for the future than I can fulfill,” he said, then stooped to grasp his bedding
and settled on the opposite side of the lean-to. Kate could sense his eyes on
her.

She thought on his words of fulfilling Kelee’s dreams.
As far as Kelee was concerned, she was also a part of his future. Could she
fulfill the wants and needs of an eight-year-old boy?

The next day, Kate finished eating her piece of dried
meat in the warmth of the morning sun as it burned off the dense fog from the
valley. The surrounding pines were but mere shadows through the mist.

Indians from other Shoshone tribes had camped in the
vicinity during the night, and they also strode about, talking with Taima and
his people. After a leisurely morning meal, they all dallied in groups,
laughing amongst themselves, relaxing after an exhausting two-day journey over
the mountains.

Kate observed the eager faces of those around her and
wondered if she wanted to become a part of all this. And if so, whether Taima
would ever treat her any differently than he did now.

She thought about her feelings for Taima and the
Indians that had slaughtered the whites of the wagon train during the raid. Had
he ever scalped a white man? A shiver ran down her spine as the unforgettable
image appeared in her mind of the savage rejoicing over the scalp he’d held up.
She knew if Taima had killed, there had to be a good reason.

Kate knew it wouldn’t be easy to join his people in
their belief of spirit gods...for animals, rocks, the sun, the moon...if she
ever could believe, for there was only one God for all.

As she glanced toward the lean-to, Kelee gathered the
items he would carry with him to the hot springs as an offering. So did Aiyana.
Kate had helped Aiyana bead a pair of moccasins and a long-sleeved, fringed
shirt, which Aiyana now carefully packed into a pouch--a parfleche, she had
called it. It seemed such a waste to leave the offerings for a spirit Kate knew
would never make use of the beautiful items.

She joined Taima and the others in the walk to the hot
springs. All of the Shoshone traveled together. After a two-hour march north
along what they called the Firehole River, those around her immediately sank to
their knees, bowing their heads to the earth.

Kate stopped in her tracks.

She glanced up and stared with wide eyes. Never had she
seen white water spew from the earth to shoot into the sky like that. What a
spectacular vision. Steam rose from the spouting water as it shot as high as
the encompassing mountains--or so it seemed. She watched in awe at this miracle
of nature.

Those around her continued to kneel, heads bowed to
the earth, missing the entire display of spewing water.

“Kate, please, you mustn’t look,” Aiyana begged,
tugging on Kate’s dress.

But Kate continued to watch in amazement as the
geyser’s small remaining spurts bubbled upon the earth at a full boil. Did they
actually believe this to be the wrath of an unhappy spirit god; casting evil
over them should they look upon the wondrous sight?

“It’s over. You can get up now, Aiyana. It was
beautiful. You should have watched.”

Aiyana’s wide eyes looked into hers. “Be on your
guard. Bad luck may fall upon you if you’re not careful. One should never watch
as the gods display their tempers.”

Kate only stared at Aiyana in disbelief. They actually
believed that nonsense. If bad luck came her way, they would quickly blame it
on the fact that she’d watched the water. Still enjoying the rising steam
vapors, she moved to join the group as they continued walking north.

Aiyana touched Kate’s arm. “Our people will fear you
now. No one watches the display of anger from the spirits except those who also
have special powers.”

From a distance, Kate saw a mist hovering low to the
ground ahead, and slowed her pace. The reverence with which Taima’s people
entered this area surrounding the hot springs made her watch with awe. Silence
fell over the entire group, including the children. Each carried an item of
offering to their spirit gods, hoping luck and good fortune might come their
way.

The beaded moccasins, headbands, beautifully decorated
shirts, and small items made by the children were placed in various areas about
the vaporous mounds. Cautiously, they walked upon the steaming ground,
attempting to get as close to the top of each one as they could. Sparse trees
and grass grew among the terrain. An unexpected spurt of steam scared Aiyana as
she walked forward, nearly causing her to drop the soft leather shirt she held.

With a new respect and understanding for the Shoshone
beliefs, Kate glanced around. Previous offerings lay scattered about the rocky
mounds, some items so charred they appeared unrecognizable, while others were
scorched to discoloration. Kate hadn’t imagined the rock could be so hot as to
burn something lain upon it. She gazed in wonder at the rough beauty created by
the steam’s trickling water down the mounds. Hues of brown and yellow streaked
each rock in layers as the limestone seeped down them.

Taima’s people knelt before the mounds in prayer, some
for long periods. Kate sat upon a rock, waiting for Taima and Kelee as Kelee
made his own offering of the joined rings. Taima periodically glanced in her
direction. Likely to be sure she stayed put, Kate mused. She met each of his
glances with raised eyebrows. Did he think her ignorant enough to attempt an
escape, allowing him to gloat over carrying through on his threat?

Sakima knelt the farthest from her. She met his
unblinking gaze through the rising steam; slowly, he nodded to her, before
moving his gaze to Taima and Kelee. Sakima watched everyone around him, though
he never spoke a word.

The humidity of the area made Kate perspire, reminding
her of the sauna at the gym. More memories filled her mind--saunas, pools,
tennis courts.

The pain started in her temples again, and she gasped.

Her hand flew to the rock beneath her to steady the
sway of her body. Blurred vision distorted the people before her, and she tried
desperately to blink it away. Dizzy, Kate squeezed her eyes shut against the
sudden throbbing pain in her temples that occurred whenever old memories seeped
into her thoughts. She hoped if she sat still for a moment, the pain would
subside. Inching from the rock, she sat on the ground and rested her head
against the cool stone. Slow, deep breaths eased the throbbing beat of her
pulse.

Saunas.

Gyms.

Monica.

Kate wished she could call Monica. She missed her home
and her friends, yet for whatever reason found herself stuck in another time.
Infuriated, she opened her eyes only to meet Sakima’s concerned gaze as he
knelt before her.

“Your vision was the worst so far, wasn’t it?” he asked.

Confused, Kate could only nod. Jumbled thoughts of
past and present swam together. Or was it present and future?

“Sakima...what am I doing here?”

“I cannot answer this, but no one will believe what
has happened to you, though I understand.”

Kate massaged her temples. “Taima will not
understand.”

“He doesn’t have to know.”

Kate glanced at the looming shadow, and her stomach
knotted. She knew who stood before her and slowly raised her gaze.

“What won’t I understand? And what don’t I need to
know?” Taima asked, towering over them, one eyebrow raised.

She looked at Sakima then back up at Taima. What
possible explanation could she give that would satisfy his question? The
blueness of Taima’s gaze drilled into her.

“Well?”

“I get sudden headaches, then forget where I am.”

Taima’s brows drew together. “How often does this
happen?”

Kate narrowed her eyes. Was that actually a look of
compassion, she wondered, lowering her lashes. “Don’t worry; I’ll not be a
burden to anyone.”

“There are warm, healing waters in the area. You will
visit them,” Taima said. Without looking at his father, he added, “I’ll take
care of it, Noshi.”

Sakima winked at her and stood. Kate couldn’t believe
her ears. Now she would be cause for an argument between Taima and this other
woman, since Taima would be spending more time with her at these healing
waters. The other woman who held his interest would only blame her for his
absence from her side.

“She must go twice a day to be rid of the headaches,”
Sakima said to his son.

Their resemblance still amazed her. She thought of
Taima’s mother and the relationship between her and Sakima. His love for her
still showed whenever he spoke of her. Did his son also have the ability to
love, to be tender and caring?

“I’ll see she goes twice a day,” Taima answered. Again
his heated gaze traveled over her body, searing her flesh through the soft
leather of her dress.

She jumped up. “You’ll do no such thing! I’ll find my
own way, thank you,” then stormed past Taima, and through the area of steaming
mounds.

Those kneeling in prayer looked up and gasped. “No,”
they called after her, but Kate ignored them, intent on locating those hot
springs on her own. And getting in on her own!

A vise-like grip surrounded her waist and she was
lifted into Taima’s arms. “Put me down!” she cried, kicking and screaming, then
caught sight of his face. The blazing anger burning there silenced any further
outbursts.

“You are on sacred ground...without an offering. Evil
befalls all who tempt the gods.” He held her tight and walked back toward the
rock.

Kate glanced at the gaping mouths and wide eyes. His
people quickly looked away rather than meet her gaze. “I am not afraid of your
gods,” she called out to them.

“My people will treat you differently now. Only the
shaman is allowed this far into the steaming mounds. Here, the angry spirits
vent their unhappiness by sending up steam and gushing water to request an
offering. Should you live to see dawn tomorrow, my people will take it as a
sign that you’re gifted with special powers.”

Kate broke into laughter. “Prepare them, then, for I
will be here in the morning.”

Taima stopped near the huge rock. “Do not make fun of
our beliefs. We come here to offer gifts as a way of repaying the Great Spirits
for what we receive.”

“And what of you...what will you believe when I’m
still alive tomorrow?” She waited for his answer--for him to shun her.

“I believe the spirits are out for revenge against me,
forcing me to deal with your constant chatter, like that of the small striped
creatures of the woods.”

He set her feet to the ground, and she stepped away,
fuming that he compared her to a chipmunk. “It’s not my wish to remain where
I’m not wanted, yet I’m prevented from leaving.” She paused, then lowered her
lashes. “I didn’t mean to trespass on sacred ground. I wasn’t aware I’d be
doing anything wrong.”

Taima’s fingers lifted her chin, his gentleness
surprising her. Dare she chance meeting his gaze? His blue eyes seemed to drain
her strength whenever she did, which she could ill afford right now, so she
concentrated on the beautiful beaded decoration on his leather shirt instead.

“Look at me,” he whispered.

Damn him! Why did he always have to win? After a deep
breath, she zeroed in on the dark pupils of his eyes...surrounded by a sky-blue
ring of color.

“None of my people are brave enough to do what you
did. They fear our gods too much. And now, they will fear you.”

“Why?”

“Should you still be alive tomorrow, they will assume
you have special powers to withstand the evil wrath of the spirit world.”

Kate tipped her head sideways. “And what of you?”

“You are different. Of that, there is no doubt. But
I’ve yet to figure out how or why. Your raging headaches plague me. I hope the
healing waters help.” He held her gaze. “I’ll do my best to assist.”

Kate widened her eyes at his audacity. Did he think
she’d allow him to help her undress for the healing waters? She opened her
mouth to speak, but Taima placed a finger upon her lips before she could say a
word.

“You are much too easy to taunt,” he whispered.

She slapped his hand away. “And you find that amusing?
Do you enjoy making people angry at you?”

“I do you. It brings out the pink in your skin . . .”
Taima traced his finger down the column of her neck. “. . . all the way down.
Does your chest turn pink, as well?”

She narrowed her eyes and smiled. “That, you’ll never
know!”

“None of us can be so sure of anything, White Woman.”

She rolled her eyes and crawled upon the rock to wait
for the Shoshone to finish their offerings. While she waited, Kate thought
about her visions and the conveniences she remembered. She covered her face
with her hands and closed her eyes, concentrating, hoping to see a glimpse of
her other life she so desperately wanted to return to. Though she tried, she
saw nothing but blackness.

A small hand touched her thigh. “Kate, are you
crying?”

She quickly uncovered her face to see Kelee. “No, I
was just thinking.” Kate looked around. “Is everyone ready to go?”

He grasped her hand to help her down and she chuckled
to herself at his intentions. “Most of our people are ready. Noshi is walking
with Washaki. Let’s catch up.”