Never Say Die (5 page)

"Oh, rubbish," sputtered the Englishman.

"Take a look at her arm!"

The manager turned his gaze to Willy's blood-soaked sleeve. Horrified, he took a stumbling step back. "Good God. I'll—I'll call a doctor."

"Never mind," said Guy, sweeping Willy off the ground. "It'll be faster if I take her straight to the hospital."

Willy let herself be gathered into Guy's arms. She found his scent strangely reassuring, a distinctly male mingling of sweat and after-shave. As he carried her across the terrace, she caught a swirling view of shocked waiters and curious hotel guests.

"This is embarrassing," she complained. "I'm all right. Put me down."

"You'll faint."

"I've never fainted in my life!"

"It's not a good time to start." He got her into a waiting taxi, where she curled up in the back seat like a wounded animal.

The emergency-room doctor didn't believe in anesthesia. Willy didn't believe in screaming. As the curved suture needle stabbed again and again into her arm, she clenched her teeth and longed to have the lunatic American hold her hand. If only she hadn't played tough and sent him out to the waiting area. Even now, as she fought back tears of pain, she refused to admit, even to herself, that she needed any man to hold her hand. Still, it would have been nice. It would have been wonderful.

And I still don't know his name.

The doctor, whom she suspected of harboring sadistic tendencies, took the final stitch, tied it off and snipped the silk thread. "You see?" he said cheerfully. "That wasn't so bad."

She felt like slugging him in the mouth and saying,
You see? That wasn't so bad, either.

He dressed the wound with gauze and tape, then gave her a cheerful slap—on her wounded arm, of course—and sent her out into the waiting room.

He
was still there, loitering by the reception desk. With all bis bruises and cuts, he looked like a bum who'd wandered in off the street. But the look he gave her was warm and concerned. "How's the arm?" he asked.

Gingerly she touched her shoulder. "Doesn't this country believe in Novocaine?"

"Only for wimps," he observed. "Which you obviously aren't."

Outside, the night was steaming. There were no taxis available, so they hired a
tuk-tuk,
a motorcycle-powered rickshaw, driven by a toothless Thai.

"You never told me your name," she said over the roar of the engine.

"I didn't think you were interested."

"Is that my cue to get down on my knees and beg for an introduction?"

Grinning, he held out his hand. "Guy Barnard. Now do I get to hear what the Willy's short for?''

She shook his hand. "Wilone."

"Unusual. Nice."

"Short of Wilhelmina, it's as close as a daughter can get to being William Maitland, Jr."

He didn't comment, but she saw an odd flicker in his eyes, a look of sudden interest. She wondered why. The
tuk-tuk
puttered past a
klong,
its stagnant waters shimmering under the streetlights.

"Maitland," he said casually. "Now that's a name I seem to remember from the war. There was a pilot, a guy named Wild Bill Maitland. Flew for Air America. Any relation?"

She looked away. "Just my father."

"No kidding! You're Wild Bill Maitland's kid?"

"You've heard the stories about him, have you?"

"Who hasn't? He was a living legend. Right up there with Earthquake Magoon."

"That's about what he was to me, too," she muttered. "Nothing but a legend."

There was a pause in their exchange, and she wondered if Guy Barnard was shocked by the bitterness in her last statement. If so, he didn't show it.

"I never actually met your old man," he said. "But I saw him once, on the Da Nang airstrip. I was working ground crew."

"With Air America?"

"No. Army Air Cav." He sketched a careless salute. "Private First Class Barnard. You know, the real scum of the earth."

"I see you've come up in the world."

"Yeah." He laughed. "Anyway, your old man brought in a C-46, engine smoking, fuel zilch, fuselage so shot up you could almost see right through her. He sets her down on the tarmac, pretty as you please. Then he climbs out and checks out all the bullet holes. Any other pilot would've been down on his knees kissing the ground. But your dad, he just shrugs, goes over to a tree and takes a nap." Guy shook his head. "Your old man was something else."

"So everyone tells me." Willy shoved a hank of windblown hair off her face and wished he'd stop talking about her father. That's how it'd been, as far back as she could remember. When she was a child in Vientiane, at every dinner party, every cocktail gathering, the pilots would invariably trot out another Wild Bill story. They'd raise toasts to his nerves, his daring, his crazy humor, until she was ready to scream. All those stories only emphasized how unimportant she and her mother were in the scheme of her father's life.

Maybe that's why Guy Barnard was starting to annoy her.

But it was more than just his talk about Bill Maitland. In some odd, indefinable way, Guy reminded her too much of her father.

The
tuk-tuk
suddenly hit a bump in the road, throwing her against Guy's shoulder. Pain sliced through her arm and her whole body seemed to clench in a spasm.

He glanced at her, alarmed. "Are you all right?"

"I'm—" She bit her lip, fighting back tears. "It's really starting to hurt."

He yelled at the driver to slow down. Then he took Willy's hand and held it tightly. "Just a little while longer. We're almost there… "

It was a long ride to the hotel.

Up in her room, Guy sat her down on the bed and gently stroked the hair off her face. "Do you have any pain killers?"

"There's—there's some aspirin in the bathroom." She started to rise to her feet. "I can get it."

"No. You stay right where you are." He went into the bathroom, came back out with a glass of water and the bottle of aspirin. Even through her cloud of pain, she was intensely aware of him watching her, studying her as she swallowed the tablets. Yet she found his nearness strangely reassuring. When he turned and crossed the room, the sudden distance between them left her feeling abandoned.

She watched him rummage around in the tiny refrigerator. "What are you looking for?"

"Found it." He came back with a cocktail bottle of whiskey, which he uncapped and handed to her. "Liquid anesthesia. It's an old-fashioned remedy, but it works."

"I don't like whiskey."

"You don't have to like it. By definition, medicine's not supposed to taste good."

She managed a gulp. It burned all the way down her throat. "Thanks," she muttered. "I think."

He began to walk a slow circle, surveying the plush furnishings, the expansive view. Sliding glass doors opened onto a balcony. From the Chaophya River flowing just below came the growl of motorboats plying the waters. He wandered over to the nightstand, picked up a rambutan from the complimentary fruit basket and peeled off the prickly shell. "Nice room," he said, thoughtfully chewing the fruit. "Sure beats my dive—the liberty Hotel. What do you do for a living, anyway?"

She took another sip of whiskey and coughed. "I'm a pilot."

"Just like your old man?"

"Not exactly. I fly for the paycheck, not the excitement. Not that the pay's great. No money in flying cargo."

"Can't be too bad if you're staying here."

"I'm not paying for this."

His eyebrows shot up. "Who is?"

"My mother."

"Generous of her."

His note of cynicism irritated her. What right did he have to insult her? Here he was, this battered vagabond, eating
her
fruit, enjoying
her
view. The
tuk-tuk
ride had tossed his hair in all directions, and his bruised eye was swollen practically shut. Why was she even putting up with this jerk?

He was watching her with curiosity. "So what else is Mama paying for?" he asked.

She looked him hard in the eye. "Her own funeral arrangements," she said, and was satisfied to see his smirk instantly vanish.

"What do you mean? Is your mother dead?"

"No, but she's dying." Willy gazed out the window at the lantern lights along the river's edge. For a moment they seemed to dance like fireflies in a watery haze. She swallowed; the lights came back into focus. "God," she sighed, wearily running her fingers through her hair. "What the hell am I doing here?"

"I take it this isn't a vacation."

"You got that right."

"What is it, then?"

"A wild-goose chase." She swallowed the rest of the whiskey and set the tiny bottle down on the nightstand. 'But it's Mom's last wish. And you're always supposed to grant people their dying wish." She looked at Guy. "Aren't you?"

He sank into a chair, his gaze locked on her face. "You told me before that you were here on family business. Does t have to do with your father?"

She nodded.

"And that's why you saw Kistner today?"

"We were hoping—I was hoping—that he'd be able to tell us in about what happened to Dad.''

"Why go to Kistner? Casualty resolution isn't his job."

"But Military Intelligence is. In 1970, Kistner was stationedin Laos. He was the one who commissioned my father's last flight. And after the plane went down, he directed the search. What there was of a search."

"And did Kistner tell you anything new?"

"Only what I expected to hear. That after twenty years, there's no point pursuing the matter. That my father's dead. And there's no way to recover his remains."

"It must've been tough hearing that. Knowing you've come all this way for nothing."

"It'll be hard on my mother."

"And not on you?"

"Not really." She rose from the bed and wandered out nto the balcony, where she stared down at the water. "You see, I don't give a damn about my father."

The night was heavy with the smells of the river. She new Guy was watching her; she could feel his gaze on her neck, could imagine the shocked expression on his face. Of course, he would be shocked; it was appalling, what she'd just said. But it was also the truth.

She sensed, more than heard, his approach. He came up side her and leaned against the railing. The glow of the lanterns threw his face into shadow.

She stared down at the shimmering water. "You don't know what it's like to be the daughter of a legend. All my life, people have told me how brave he was, what a hero he was. God, he must have loved the glory."

"A lot of men do."

"And a lot of women suffer for it."

"Did your mother suffer?"

She looked up at the sky. "My mother…" She shook her head and laughed. "Let me tell you about my mother. She was a nightclub singer. All the best New York clubs. I went through her scrapbook, and I remember some reviewer wrote, 'Her voice spins a web that will trap any audience in its magic' She was headed for the moon. Then she got married. She went from star billing to a—a footnote in some man's life. We lived in Vientiane for a few years. I remember what a trouper she was. She wanted so badly to go home, but there she was, scraping the store shelves for decent groceries. Laughing off the hand grenades. Dad got the glory. But she's the one who raised me." Willy looked at Guy. "That's how the world works. Isn't it?"

He didn't answer.

She turned her gaze back to the river. "After Dad's contract ended with Air America, we tried it for a while in San Francisco. He worked for a commuter airline. And Mom and I, well, we just enjoyed living in a town without mortars and grenades going off. But…" She sighed. "It didn't last. Dad got bored. I guess he missed the old adrenaline high. And the glory. So he went back."

"They got divorced?"

"He never asked for one. And Mom wouldn't hear of it anyway. She loved him." Willy's voice dropped. "She still loves him."

"He went back to Laos alone, huh?"

"Signed up for another two years. Guess he preferred the company of danger junkies. They were all like that, those A.A. pilots—all volunteers, not draftees—all of 'em laughing death in the face. I think flying was the only thingthat gave them a rush, made them feel alive. Must've been the ultimate high for Dad. Dying."

"And here you are, over twenty years later."

"That's right. Here I am."

"Looking for a man you don't give a damn about. Why?"

"It's not me asking the questions. It's my mother. She's never wanted much. Not from me, not from anyone. But this was something she had to know."

"A dying wish."

Willy nodded. "That's the one nice thing about cancer. You get some time to tie up the loose ends. And my father is one hell of a big loose end."

"Kistner gave you the official verdict—your father's dead. Doesn't that tie things up?"

"Not after all the lies we've been told."

"Who's lied to you?"

She laughed. "Who hasn't? Believe me, we've made the rounds. We've talked to the Joint Casualty Resolution Committee. Defense Intelligence. The CIA. They all had the same advice—drop it."

"Maybe they have a point."

"Maybe they're hiding the truth."

"Which is?"

' "That Dad survived the crash."

"What's your evidence?"

She studied Guy for a moment, wondering how much to tell him. Wondering why she'd already told him as much as she had. She knew nothing about him except that he had fast reflexes and a sense of humor. That his eyes were brown, and his grin distinctly crooked. And that, in his own rumpled way, he was the most attractive man she'd ever met.

That last thought was as jolting as a bolt of lightning on a clear summer's day. But he
was
attractive. There was nothing she could specifically point to that made him
that
way. Maybe it was his self-assurance, the confident way he carried himself.
Or maybe it's the damn whiskey,
she thought. That's why she was feeling so warm inside, why her knees felt as if they were about to buckle.

She gripped the steel railing. "My mother and I, we've had, well,
hints
that secrets have been kept from us."