Never Look Back (Coming Home Book 2) (22 page)

“Todd, I had no idea you felt this way.” I am completely taken by surprise and realize had he not been home that night to answer his phone, I might not be here now.

“I asked my dad to come along because I had no idea what I was about to find out from you. I wanted to drive back to your apartment and take care of that son of a bitch. I kept my cool and made sure you were okay. I’m still thankful my parents are so understanding and are in the position to have helped you.”

“Your parents have been so supportive. I don’t know what I would have done without everyone.”

“I’ve felt so bad leaving you here alone before Chloe was born. I can only imagine how you must have felt everyday being stuck here in this house, not knowing anyone and having nowhere to go. I know you were hesitant to go into town for fear you would be scene, but it’s all worked out for you. I just wish I would have visited you more.”

“It was really okay. Honestly, I didn’t mind being here alone. Trust me, I had plenty of time to think about my mistakes and how I would never put myself in situations like that again. Besides, I learned a lot about myself. You had obligations that were more important than me.”

“I know, but I could have made the time.”

“Please, don’t feel bad about it.”

“And another thing ….” Todd hesitates and looks away. I can tell whatever he’s about to say is weighing on him heavily. “I’m crazy about you.”

I’m completely silent. I look away and stare off into space for a moment before turning back to Todd again. I need a moment to absorb what I just heard.

“I don’t want to scare you off because you are just coming out of a bad situation, but I think about you non-stop. My parents like you and talk about you and Chloe constantly. I’ve wanted to tell you how I felt, but the timing was never right. And now that your divorce is finally over, well, I just I couldn’t hold back any longer.”

“Todd, ……” I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out.

Todd misunderstands my hesitation and stands up off the sofa. He runs his hands through his hair and turns around to face me.

“I’m sorry, Jennifer. I shouldn’t have unloaded everything on you. You are probably thinking I’m some sort of nut for throwing this all on you at once. God, I can’t believe I just told you this when you’ve just finalized everything.”

“Todd.” I begin. “Listen to me. It’s not what you are thinking at all. I’ve cherished your friendship from the very beginning and I’ve asked myself a hundred times why did I get stuck with someone like Brian. Why could I not have met someone like you? You’ve had your entire life planned out for you, you’ve stuck with all your hopes and dreams, and now you’re ready to take on the world. The last thing I would have ever expected to hear was that you’d want something with me. After all, I’m a single mother and there’s nothing I can do to change that. I’m obviously a failure at relationships, or just unlucky at picking men. Now, you’re telling me you’re crazy about me. Me? How did this happen?”

“It’s not your fault things didn’t go right with Brian. Don’t blame yourself for his shortcomings. It’s his loss, not yours. You’ve got a beautiful daughter who’s going to have a bright future ahead of her and you don’t need someone like him stirring you in the wrong direction. You’re lucky you got out of this mess. Some people aren’t so fortunate.”

“I owe so much to you for coming to my rescue.”

“I would have done it for any friend in need. And no, you don’t owe me anything.”

“You’ve just taken me by surprise. I never thought anyone would be willing to take a chance with me, especially now that I have a baby.”

“Listen to me. Jenn, you’re beautiful. You’re smart and just because you’ve had a failed marriage, doesn’t mean you can’t still be loved. Don’t ever think you don’t deserve a second chance.”

I reach over and grab Todd’s hand and hold it firmly. I would love to be able to see what’s in it for me with Todd, but at the same time I’m scared to get serious so suddenly again.

“Can we just take it slow and see where this leads us?” I ask. “The last thing I want to do is jeopardize our friendship.”

“Baby, I’m not pushing you at all. I just couldn’t hold it in any longer. After spending the evening with you last night, then listening to my dad’s proposition about your coming to work at the pharmacy, I knew that if my parents trusted you enough to offer this, then my feelings for you were right. But I will not pressure you in any way.”

I lean over and pull Todd towards me for a hug.

“Thank you. I owe so much to you and to your family.”

“Maybe I’ve said too much. The last thing I want to do is push you away. It’s not like I’m asking for you to start a relationship with me, I just want you to know how I feel. If you think this is something you’d like to, you know, maybe consider, then we can take it at your own pace. If not, then the only harm done would be to my ego. Just think about it, okay?”

I stand and excuse myself to check on Chloe. I walk to the bedroom needing a moment to let everything soak in. I stand over the crib as Chloe sleeps soundly and watch as her chest rises and falls when she breathes. Her tiny mouth twitches and I wonder what she’s dreaming. I’m not sure how much time has passed, but when I turn to look back towards the living room, Todd is leaned up against the doorframe watching me.

“Come here.” He says softly so as not to disturb Chloe.

I walk towards his extended arms and let him embrace me. What’s not to like about this man?

After pouring my heart out to Jennifer that morning, I felt it was probably best to give her some space. I felt better by getting my feelings out in the open, but I also understand the last thing she needs is someone trying to make their way into her life right now without her being ready. I let a week go by, my only contact being a text message to check on her. I began working longer hours at the pharmacy making sure I felt comfortable with everything before mom and dad left for their trip. It kept my mind from wondering if I had made the mistake of confessing my feelings. To my surprise, I came home from work one evening to find Jennifer sitting in the living room deep in discussion with my dad. He had taken the afternoon off to do some things around the house and my mother was busy preparing dinner. Apparently Jennifer and Chloe were joining us for dinner and no one bothered to share this with me.

As soon as I walked inside, Jennifer looked over at me with a smile. “Hey you. How’s work going for you?”

“Not bad. Not bad at all. I’m getting the hang of things pretty well. I pretty much do the same thing I’ve always done it’s just I’m just there more.”

My dad and Jennifer look at each other as though both of them have something important to announce. My dad is the first to speak up.

“Well, son. How would you feel about having a bit of extra help?” He says, a grin taking over his face.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” I look from dad, then over to Jennifer who looks like she wants to say something so bad.

She nods her head and jumps into the conversation. “It is. I’m going to start work with you. It’s only going to be for a few hours each week just to see if I like it. My mom is going to watch Chloe until your parents return from their trip, then your mom is going to look after her. My parents are getting ready to head back out on the road again and it’s all going to work out perfectly. I hope.”

Her smile changes and I instantly say something to keep her positive.

“That’s great news.” I tell her.

My dad stands senses we need some time together and stands up to leave the room. He picks up Chloe from Jennifer’s lap and they walk into the kitchen.

“Well, that’s all you’ve got to say?” She asks me jokingly.

“Babe, I’m not sure what to say. What made you change your mind?”

“I never ruled it out completely. I thought about the idea a little bit then talked it over with my parents. They really want me to finish my degree, but this would work out well for everyone. When Chloe gets a little older, I can see about going back to school, but right now, I just don’t think I could handle working, school, and taking care of her by myself. And who knows, if I like being a pharmacy tech, your dad said he could get me more information about taking the certification program that’s offered at the community college or I could do the program at the same university you attended. It’s not the same as having my degree but it would certainly be good for my career. Maybe one day I might consider being a pharmacist too. But right now, with the holidays coming up, I need to start thinking about Chloe’s first Christmas. Not that she’s really going to know much about it, but I can’t keep relying solely on my parents for financial support. At some point I’ve got to be able to start taking care of me and my daughter again, especially since there won’t be any child support from Brian. With his name not being on her birth certificate and basically, him agreeing to the terms of the divorce, she and I are on our own. And, at least this way, I don’t ever have to worry about him having visitation rights.”

“I’m so proud of you. So, don’t hold back on me. Tell me, when you do start?”

“Well, boss, if it’s okay with you, I’ll see you Monday morning.”

I’m so proud of Jennifer for taking this big step in her life. I know she’s not looking forward to leaving Chloe behind, but she’s going to be well taken care of. Between both of our moms, I would only want the same if I were in her shoes too. We stand up and I give her a hug. This is the best news I’ve heard all week.

The following week goes pretty well and Jennifer seems to be enjoying the few hours she’s working each day. Even though she’s only working four to five hours a day and just four days this week, I know how difficult it must be for her, not only getting back into the workforce again, but the separation from Chloe I’m sure was rather difficult. When she walked in Monday morning I noticed her eyes seemed a little red and swollen but I tried my best to make her feel welcome. Jennifer actually seemed to hit it off with the other two techs and even took lunch with Jenny, one of the techs that’s been with my dad for many years.

On Friday, just as Jennifer was getting ready to head out I stopped her in the back room. “I wanted to let you know you’ve done real well this week. Both Jenny and Becky commented how well you’ve caught on and you seem to be a pro at this. Thank you for giving it a chance. It means a lot to me and my family.”

“Surprisingly, it hasn’t been as bad as I expected. Monday was a little rough, but I survived.” I notice the smile on her face and her words sounds genuine.

“I was wondering, if you don’t have anything planned for Sunday afternoon, maybe you would like to visit the lake again. We could take Chloe and her stroller and enjoy a walk along the lake.”

I notice she hesitates for a moment before responding as though my asking her out takes her by surprise.

“Are you serious? You would want to take me and Chloe out?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know what to say. Of course I’d like to but I don’t have a stroller yet so that might be a little bit of a problem.” The expression on her face quickly falls as she shares this bit of information with me.