Never Let Me Go (16 page)

“Colin Westwick,” he said, giving him his most genuine smile. “I’ve heard nothing but great things.”

“Thanks,” Hayden said, smiling back. “Hayden Jax. This is my daughter Skylar.” He adjusted his daughter, looking at her. “Sky, say hi.”

Skylar, acting shy, shook her head and buried it in her father’s shoulder. He set her down and she clung to his leg, hiding behind him.

“She’s not normally like this,” Hayden said by way of apologizing.

I walked over to Nickayla, grabbing a warm washcloth and handing it to her. She turned on me quickly, her eyes flashing with anger.

“Why the Hell is your cell phone off?” she asked, her tone accusatory. “I’ve been trying to call you for
hours
!”

I shook my head, unsure of how to answer.

I hadn’t turned my cell phone off on purpose; it had died halfway through my date with Hayden and Sky. I wasn’t aware that Nic was going to be calling me.

“Sorry,” I said. “My phone died, and I didn’t think anyone was going to call.”

She grabbed me by the shoulders, her expression fearful. Nickayla wasn’t normally so angry, so I knew that if she was going to such extremes to lecture me, something must really be wrong. Besides, she normally didn’t show the feistier side of herself to other people, let alone strangers.

“I was trying to warn you!” she exclaimed, frantic. “I swear, Michie, we didn’t know—”

“That swim was so refreshing! I can’t wait to take another dip—hey! Who’s this?” a voice asked, the familiar sound making my blood run cold. “You a friend of Colin’s?”

Hayden just stood there, standing his ground as best as was possible. He was doing a much better job than I was.

What in the
actual fuck
was Brody doing in Big Springs? I thought I was going to pass out.

“Hayden Jax,” Hayden said, extending his hand.

“Brody Durham,” Brody replied, shaking his hand.

I honestly thought I was going to vomit. Hayden jerked away hastily, cocking his head to the side with a satisfied smirk. His eyes met mine, silently asking if I was okay. I gave an almost imperceptible shake of my head, holding onto Nickayla for dear life.

“Oh, so you’re the jackass,” Hayden said, coolly.

“Daddy!” Skylar exclaimed, nonplussed. “You said a curse!”

If the situation wasn’t so awkward, I probably would have laughed. Instead, I just stood there like an idiot looking back and forth between Hayden and Brody, not sure how I’d ever gotten myself into a situation like this.

“Oh, you must be a friend of—Michie!” Brody stopped midsentence when he saw me.

He walked over to me, grabbing my arms, pulling me close, and his lips descended on mine within seconds. I didn’t give my body a chance to respond to him, to that kiss that I’d been dying to feel for the past month, to the only person I’d ever loved. I pulled away from him, my open hand connecting with his face, the sound echoing around the kitchen.

“Don’t touch me!” I shrieked.

I turned away, facing Hayden and mouthing the words, “I’m sorry” before I took off up the stairs. I could hear footsteps behind me, and I silently prayed that it was anyone but Brody. I didn’t want him in my presence a single bit, and if he pushed my buttons by coming after me, there was no telling what I would do to get him to back off.

I walked into my bedroom, about to close the door behind me when Brody showed up at the doorway.

“Mich, I’m sorry,” he said. “That was uncalled for. I just…I missed you.”

“SHUT UP!” I yelled. “Shut the fuck up and get inside!”

I grabbed his shirt, dragging him into my room angrily. I slammed the door to my bedroom, shoving Brody onto the bed. He stared up at me, his expression utterly flabbergasted. I paced back and forth angrily, trying to figure out what I wanted to say to him.

“Maybe this was a bad idea,” Brody said, lowering his head.

I glared at him, narrowing my eyes and wringing my hands.

“You think? I just brought my
date
and his daughter here! You showing up here, without a phone call, without giving me a warning, without any explanation is the
worst
idea you’ve ever had, and that’s saying something because your
entire
life is an endless stream of one bad idea after another!” I exclaimed. “What are you even
doing
here Brody?!”

His head had snapped up and his eyes bored into mine, pure sadness written in his expression.

“That Hayden guy is your date?” he asked.

“That’s none of your business,” I replied. “Who I see stopped being your business when you dumped me. Answer the Goddamn question!”

“Not until you answer mine!”

I crossed my arms, sitting on my dresser, wondering how the Hell I got into a mess like this.

“Yes, Brody,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Hayden is my date. We’ve gone out nearly every day for a month and a half. I really like him, and I adore his daughter.” I huffed angrily. “What are you doing here?”

“I missed you,” he said with a shrug.

I groaned, throwing my head back in utter irritation.

I was
beyond
pissed that he’d even bothered to show up. I hadn’t gotten so much as a phone call from him in over a month, and he had the nerve to show up on
my
vacation and start asking questions? There was no way I was going to let that happen. He had some fucking nerve.

“You don’t get to say things like that to me,” I said. “You don’t get to tell me that you miss me or that you had to see me or that you’ve been thinking about me, because every time you say it, all that I hear is bullshit. So just save it.”

“Mich, I—,” he began, but I held my hand up.

After being with Hayden and seeing what a relationship was supposed to be like, it made me see my entire relationship with Brody—if I could even call it that—in a whole new light.

“I know, Brody,” I said. “You’re sorry. You made a big mistake because you weren’t thinking. You thought that you were doing the best thing for me by letting me go, and you honestly didn’t mean to hurt me. I
know.
You
never
mean to hurt me, but somehow, you always do. So I
really
don’t want to hear it.”

Brody stood up, touching my knee and trying to soothe me, trying to get me to see reason, but I wasn’t having any of it.

“Michele, please,” he pleaded. “I hated what I did to you the moment that I did it! I’m stupid, I know, but I came here to apologize!”

“You really could have done that over the phone,” I said, my voice ice cold. “My phone number hasn’t changed.”

His expression was one of devastation. I knew what was going through his mind.

We’d spent the better part of our friendship playing a cat and mouse game with each other. When I wanted him, he wanted everyone but me. When I tried to move on with someone else, he suddenly wanted me again. Even though I knew how the game was played, one thing was always certain: I always went back to him. I always gave in, I always forgave him, and I always got hurt in the end when things didn’t work out how I wanted them to.

I was starting to figure out that that was an endless cycle, and it was one that I desperately wanted to get off of.

“Please don’t be like this,” he begged, falling to his knees.

“Don’t be like what, Brody? Don’t be as casually cruel to you as you
always
are to me?” I asked. “
You
said it was over!
You
said you didn’t love me!
You
did this! You think I’m going to forgive you, you think I’m going to go running back into your arms like I always do, well guess what? That’s not going to happen! You left me in the middle of prom! The entire fucking
senior class
saw it! Do you know how embarrassing that was? Do you know how cruel and heartbreaking it was to be stranded by my prom date in front of
everyone
? But after that, I told myself I’d hear you out, I’d give you a chance to explain yourself, I’d give you a chance to make it up to me. Then, when you show up, you don’t want to explain. Instead you want to dump me, in the pouring rain and leave me on my front porch sobbing.
You
hurt me. You always do! You don’t get to show up and start asking questions and telling me how much you miss me, because it’s just another fucking ploy for Brody to get what he wants! Well you’re not getting it because you can’t have me. I’ve promised myself to Hayden for the summer, maybe even longer if things work out. You’re too late.”

Brody shook his head frantically, his hands splayed on his knees as he lowered his head. I stared at him, that beautifully broken boy who’d broken my heart. Normally, seeing him in such a state would have caused me to give in, it would have caused me to forgive him, but instead, I just felt sad for him.

I leapt off the dresser, ready to walk away and leave him there. I didn’t care; he certainly didn’t care when he left me in the same position back home.

I had made it halfway out the door when I heard him whisper, “He’s no good for you.”

I stopped dead in my tracks, my face heating up.

“Fuck you, Brody! He’s much nicer to me than you ever will be,” I said.

Brody laughed, chuckling from his position on the floor, but his eyes remained sad and longing.

I will not give in. I will not give in.

“You like him because he’s nice?” Brody asked. “Last I checked, you hated guys who refused to wear the pants in a relationship.”

“Don’t you dare!” I yelled, trying in vain to refrain from punching him across the face. I stepped up to him, squatting in front of him so that we were eye level. I took his chin between my thumb and forefinger. “You wanna know why I like Hayden? Why I think that by the end of the summer, I could love him? He treats me well. He’s not afraid of commitment. His daughter in there? He has full custody of her because her mother wanted to be young rather than raise her child. And even though she broke his heart, he’s never said a single bad word about her. He’s the partial owner of a business. He works all day and is a parent at night. He’s been married before, Brody, so he’s not afraid of commitment.” I paused, smiling. “He never misses a chance to tell me that I’m beautiful. He’s not worrying about how quickly he can get me in bed—in fact, he refuses to kiss me until
I’m
ready, because he cares about me that much. He’s told me what he wants from our relationship in the long run. He’s good to me, and he takes the time to ask me about what I want. He worries about me nearly as much as he worries about his child. D’you want to know why I like him, Brody? Because he’s
nothing
like you.”

I stood up, smoothing out my shorts and placing my hand on the doorframe.

“Don’t you ever say a bad word about Hayden,” I told him.

I started to walk down the stairs, and I heard Brody walk up behind me.

“Michele,” he said.

I stopped, not bothering to turn around. I clenched my fingers around the railing of the stairs, inhaling deeply and trying to calm myself down.

“I just wanted to apologize,” he said softly. “I need you to forgive me.”

“I already have,” I said. “But that still doesn’t change anything.” A beat. “Go home, Brody.”

Chapter Eleven

When I got downstairs, everyone had dispersed. I breathed a sigh of relief when I noticed that Nickayla and Colin and the rest of the gang had appeared to have gone outside, but I stopped short when I found Hayden sitting idly on the couch, his amber eyes meeting mine, full of questions.

He stood up to walk over to me, but I shook my head and held a hand out to stop him.

I knew how important this moment was. I had to show that I cared about him by going to him when I needed him.
I
had to be the one to bridge the gap that had just been put between us.

I approached him slowly, sitting on the couch next to him and curling up against his side. His arm came up to wrap around me, and it was all I could do to keep the tears inside. I shook violently, and his hands came up to cup my face. He used the pads of his thumbs to wipe my tears away, and he gazed at me in a way that sent shivers down my spine.

I expected him to regard me with pity or sympathy or something, but the look in his eyes was so far from those emotions that it rocked me to my core. He looked as though he physically
hurt
for me, as though he was in just as much pain as I was.

“Hi,” he whispered, a small smile forming on his face.

“Hi,” I replied, my voice slightly hoarse from yelling. I leaned my head against his shoulder, and he kissed my forehead. “Where’s Skylar?”

He sighed, running his hand through his hair as he chuckled. “She’s out at the pool with the boys. I think your friend Nickayla just left to buy ice cream.”

I nodded, closing my eyes as more tears fell. I had so much that I wanted to say to Hayden, but I wasn’t even sure where to start. I brought my hands up to my face and began crying, unable to control all the different emotions that were bubbling through me.