Never Been Ready (29 page)

I wanted so desperately to teach him it was okay to feel joy again, to allow himself to be a kid again. We both did. I just hoped he let us.

"Do you think Declan will eventually want more?"

"He hasn't mentioned it, and I honestly don't know," I admitted.

"Have you thought about it? About if he did eventually want custody?"

"Yes..no...I don't know. Less than two weeks ago, I was still trying to adjust to the fact that I was in love, and now I'm having to suddenly having to readjust to this. My head is spinning."

"Would you support him?" she asked.

"What? Of course I would. I would never get in the way of him and his son," I answered adamantly. After having the childhood I did, I could only hope that other children could grow up with as much love as humanly possible. I'd never stand in the way of Connor having the opportunity to be raised by his father if that is what they wanted.

"And would you stand by him?"

"Of course I would!"

"Okay, well then your head can stop spinning now, because you've answered all the questions you need to know. Whatever happens, whatever he decides, you are there for him. That's all you need to know.

"God damn, you are fucking smart! When did that happen?"

"I've always been smart. You just don't pay attention."

"Well, I am easily distracted."

"That's an understatement. So, does Declan get to see Connor again anytime soon? Is there a schedule? Do I get to meet him? Ooh, we could set up a playdate for him and Maddie. That would be adorable!"

"First, no more coffee for you. You're practically vibrating in your seat. Second, yes...we have another visit set up in a week. Declan is finishing up filming this week, and then he's officially unemployed. Well, for now. He has a few other projects he's hoping might work out, but we're waiting on those. In the meantime, he's working on having all of his shit moved out here."

"Leah and Declan. Shacking up together. I'm so proud of you!" she said, before she threw her arms around me, practically jumping into my chair as she sat on my lap.

I laughed, hugging her back, "He just doesn't know what he's getting himself into. I'm a royal pain in the ass."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure he's aware. We all are. We just love you despite it," she grinned. "So, where are you two taking Connor for date number two?"

"Well, if your father was a movie star, where do you think he would take you?"

"Neiman and Marcus so he could buy me a diamond studded pony?"

"No, dork. We're taking him to the movies, of course."

~Declan~

We chose a theater that was slightly out of the way, and we picked a matinee. Sarah and Devin had graciously allowed Connor to spend the night with us in Richmond. Even though I was still just a family friend to him, I didn't want to screw this up.

My son loved movies.
I couldn't get over that. It was my passion and chosen career, and he was obsessed. It was something we had in common, and I couldn't wait to share it with him. A new Marvel Comics movie was showing, and Sarah had mentioned that Connor really wanted to see it. As soon as Leah and I had picked him up that morning, we'd headed back to Richmond, going straight for the theater.

With my baseball cap pulled tight to my bowed head, I bought our tickets at the electronic kiosk, avoiding as much person-to-person interaction as possible. After the pictures of Leah and me had been plastered all over the tabloids a few weeks ago, we were a bit more recognizable now.

Turning, I found Leah standing in line at the concession stand. She was bent over while talking to Connor. She had a slight smile and nodded before laughing. I couldn't help but grin. She was radiant. It didn't matter what she wore, did, or said...I always wanted her. She had me. I was a goner, and I'd never been happier. Our life was completely crazy and uncertain, and I didn't care because I knew everything would be fine with her by my side.

Jesus. I'd turned into Logan. No wonder the man walked around with cancer and still grinned like a damned fool.

This, seeing her, made me feel invincible.

Sliding my way past a few people in line, I caught up with Leah and Connor, who were talking about their favorite movies.

"I like
Iron Man
," he said.

"Which one?" Leah asked.

"All of them. Iron Man is way cool."

"And way hot," she shot back.

"Say what?" I asked, raising my brow.

"But not as hot as you," she amended, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Better." I slapped her on the ass as we moved up in line, causing her to yelp.

Connor looked back with a confused expression, but he just gave a shy smile.

"What's your favorite movie?" Connor asked me as we came to another stop.

It was the longest line ever. Thank God we'd gotten here early.
I'd suggested skipping the concession stand altogether when we arrived, but Leah had given me the death stare, stating she would not enter the movie without Milk Duds, so we waited.

"Hmmm...that's a hard one. Someone just introduced me to
The Princess Bride
," I said, giving Leah a wolfish grin. "But I'd have to say
Casablanca
."

"What's that?" Connor asked at the same time Leah nearly shouted, "Liar!"

"What do you mean, liar?" I asked her.

"
Casablanca
cannot possibly be your favorite movie. That is just what you tell people to make yourself sound artsy and smart. Come on, Hotshot, what is it? It's got to be embarrassing —otherwise, you wouldn't have pulled the
Casablanca
card."

I seriously hated this woman sometimes.
She could call me on my bullshit in two seconds flat.
Casablanca
was absolutely a lie. I appreciated it from a directing and film perspective, but movie favorites were not based on that. They were based on emotions and what moved someone. What made that person keep coming back time to that specific movie? It was something special.

"
Twilight?
" she guessed.

I choked out a laugh, "No. Hell no,"

"Weekend at Bernie's?"

With my shoulders still shaking, I shook my head.

"Austin Powers
!" she nearly squealed.

"Not even close."

We got to the concession stand before she could guess again, and she ordered her Milk Duds. I got some popcorn and a Coke for Connor. We then took a right to the hallway that led to our movie. Giving our tickets over, we waited until the pimpled teenager ripped them in half and handed them back. His eyes widened a bit when he looked up at me, but I quickly turned away before he could say anything.

"Hey, I need to visit the ladies' room," Leah said.

"We'll wait for you," I said.

She disappeared into the restroom, and Connor and I wandered the hall, looking at movie posters. Connor froze in front of one, and it took me a split second to realize why.

"Is that you?" he asked.

Crap, I'd forgotten I had a movie out. How does one forget he has a movie in the theaters?
Well, I had a lot of shit going on, and whether or not my movie was doing well had been the least of my worries over the last few weeks. I hadn't even taken my agent's last few calls. Moving across country and finding out I had a son kind of took precedence.

"Ah, yeah...that's me," I answered awkwardly.

"You're a movie star?"

"I don't really like to use those particular words, but I act, yes. Well, I did. I'm trying to direct now."

He looked at me then, and I didn't really know what else to say. Most kids didn't have fathers who were movie stars. Of course, most kids knew who their fathers were.

God, this situation was fucked-up on so many levels. Would he treat me differently?

I hadn't told him what I did because I didn't want him to treat me weird or act strange around me. When I would finally tell him who I actually was, I just wanted to be his dad —not Declan James, actor. I didn't want to be anyone but someone who would love him.

"Do you know Iron Man?" he asked very matter-of-factly.

I grinned. "Yep, I've met him a few times. Pretty cool guy."

"Awesome."

And that was that. I was cool —but not as cool as Iron Man.

I could live with that.

~Leah~

"I'm seriously not going to tell you," Declan said as we lay in bed early the next morning.

Our movie adventure had been a success. The new Marvel movie was awesome. It wasn't as awesome as
Iron Man
according to Connor, but I was beginning to think not many things made it Iron Man cool for that particular seven-year-old.

"You know the longer you don't tell me, the worse it gets in my head," I said.

"Still not telling, so you might as well get your ass out of bed and make me breakfast."

I laughed as he pinned me beneath him. He was shirtless, and his muscles flexed as he held my arms above my head.

"How exactly am I supposed to do that when I'm like this?" I asked softly, slowly rolling my hips under his, reveling in the way my body affected him.

"I think I've changed my mind," he announced before claiming my lips in a searing kiss.

His tongue rolled with mine as our mouths fused together. His hand that had been pinning my hands slithered down my arm before cupping my breast through my tank top. My nipples instantly pebbled at his touch.

I moaned, and then like a bucket of ice water, I remembered. "Declan, we aren't alone. Connor is across the hall! What if he wakes up?"

"Do you hear anything?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"Babe, it's barely six in the morning. I realize kids are known for waking up early, but I don't hear anything yet, and I really, really need to fuck you."

The last part was whispered seductively in my ear, and that was all it took. I was a goner. I melted against him again and kissed him frantically, like we were on borrowed time.

"We need a bigger house," I said as I quickly shed my top and panties.

"With a room for Connor down the hall, not across," Declan agreed, pulling down his pajama bottoms in one swift motion. "Fuck, you're hot," he said before thrusting inside me.

Trying not to cry out, which was my usual method, I buried my head in his shoulder.

He chuckled. "Having a bit of a hard time keeping quiet, Leah?" he whispered in my ear, slowly sliding in and out like we had all the time in the world. "You are quite the screamer. Let's see what happens when I do this."

That was when the motherfucker pulled all the way out, tilted my hips just at the right angle, and then slammed back in, causing my eyes to nearly roll back in my head. I bit down on his shoulder to keep myself from screaming like a banshee.

"Shit," he hissed, turned on now more than ever.

He let go, pounding in and out of me as I orgasmed around him again and again. My body shook as he finally came, and then he collapsed on top of me in a mindless heap. He readjusted to lie by my side.

Still breathing heavily, he said, "Holy hell, that was hot. You've never bitten me before."

"You've never pissed me off before." I grinned. "Were you trying to make me scream and scar the kid for life?"

"Just wanted to see how far you'd go to keep quiet. Apparently, pretty damn far." He laughed.

"You're an arrogant ass."

"Yeah, I know. And you're a pain in the ass. We're a perfect pair."

We settled back into bed, enjoying the last few minutes of morning, before we heard some rustling, and then the door across the hall opened. The guest bathroom door creaked and shut, and that was our announcement that Connor was up.

"Time to make us men some breakfast," Declan said with a wolfish grin, rising out of bed to get dressed.

I took a few moments to admire the view, loving the way his ass looked as he slid back into his pajama bottoms. He slipped on a shirt, turned, planted a quick kiss on my lips, and went to go find Connor.

After slipping into a robe and fuzzy slippers, I entered the living room, and I heard them talking. They'd pulled out the Xbox that Declan had bought for this very weekend, and they were currently trying to blow up aliens. They laughed, and explosions boomed through the speakers.

I made some coffee and started the griddle for pancakes. A few days earlier, I'd picked up everything to make them from scratch. I wanted to make Connor a special breakfast while he was here. I knew Sarah probably had done all sorts of special things for him, but it was the first time we had him with us, and I wanted it to be perfect —for both of them.

A few minutes later, bacon was sizzling, and pancakes were cooking. I got out butter and maple syrup and set the table. I piled a plate high with chocolate chip pancakes, my favorite, and then I sandwiched the bacon between layers of paper towels to soak up the extra grease.

"Okay, boys, come and get it. The food is ready!"

They'd been so involved with their game that I didn't think they had even realized I'd been cooking. It was an adorable sight, seeing them huddled together on the living room floor, playing video games in their PJs.