Never A Choice (The Choices Trilogy (Book 1)) (48 page)

Take me to church - Hosier

Run - Snow Patrol

Make this go on forever - Snow Patrol

Changing -Linkin Park

Best of you -Foo Fighters

Halo - Florence and the Machine

The Only One -James Blunt

My Immortal -Evanescence

Focus-Emma's Imagination

Big Big World - Emilia

How Long will I love you -Ellie Goulding

Figure 8 - Ellie Goulding

Tessilate -Ellie Goulding

I know you care -Ellie Goulding

(had a bit of an Ellie Goulding thing going on)

Wheels -Lone Justince

Heavy Cross -The Gossip

Stay with me - Sam Smith

Orbiting -The Weepies

Dee Palmer hates talking about herself in the third person so I won’t. My husband had my iPod engraved one Christmas with ‘
sing like no-one’s listening’
and I know my family actually wish they weren’t listening because I am, in fact, tone deaf but it doesn’t stop me and this gentle support has enabled me to fulfil a dream. This has been a truly brilliant experience, because I have written all of the books in The Choices Trilogy but need to tweak the others before I let them out alone, and it has undoubtedly been made possible by my incredibly supportive family. I know this is very much another acknowledgment bit but I know I wouldn’t be writing even this single paragraph if it wasn’t for them so this
is
about who I am, I am because they let me be.

Stalk me On
Facebook
,
Twitter
and Instagram.

“BABY, BABY, WAKE up, wake up baby.” His calm soothing voice filters into my subconscious moments before I am aware of his strong arms pulling my waist into the curve of his strong body. His lips are close to my ear and his words are barely whispered but they wake me. They wake me before I can recall where this particular nightmare was planning to take me. My heart is racing and I can feel the sheen of sweat covering my body chill as I am cradled into Daniel’s arms and lifted from his bed. He kisses the top of my head, walks to the en suite and places me on my feet, leaving me for the briefest moment to turn the shower on. He carefully strips his t-shirt I am wearing, which is now soaked and I notice his gaze darken as he takes in my naked body. Even when we are both nearer to sleep than awake his look sets my pulse on fire. It has been the same for nearly two weeks, since I was discharged from hospital after my sister’s failed attempt to force me to overdose on sleeping pills and three weeks since she had her driver, Clive, attack me. The bruises have gone only to be replaced by this unwelcome nightly routine.

“It feels very like musical beds.” I tell Daniel with softly sleepy speech as he lays me down in one of his guest rooms, into a freshly made bed after my quick shower and change. He climbs in my side and folds his large body over mine, I am completely caged by his immense frame and I relax.

“Mmm I’ve not played that one but any game that involves you and a bed sounds good to me.” His hand sweeps up my neck and his fingers spread into my hair while he kisses the nape sending a million shivers across my skin.

“Nancy must hate me for the amount of washing she’s had to deal with?” Daniel’s housekeeper is friendly, so kind and would never say that any of this was any trouble but that doesn’t stop me from being embarrassed that I am the cause of her work load tripling.

“I’d fire her if she did.” He replied as a matter of fact. I twist in his arms with shock.

“You wouldn’t!”

He laughs. “No I wouldn’t.” He kisses a line from just below my ear to my collarbone, “because Nancy could never hate you. She is actually quite fond of you and she’s very fond of me so how about you stop worrying about the laundry and tell me what you were dreaming?” Nightmares are not new to me, I have suffered with them on and off since John, my best friend and soul mate was murdered just after my sixteenth birthday. Typically only talking about them allows me to ever return to sleep and reduce their frequency but since the attack they have returned with vengeance. Daniel, however, has a knack of interrupting just before they manifest into anything I can remember let alone analyse. I turn fully in his arms and look up into his intense blue eyes.

“You know you woke me before anything happened.” I smile and lean to kiss him. “You saved me, again.” His lips are warm and soft and despite his obvious grumble at my comment he returns my kiss. He pulls back cautiously and I know where this conversation is going and I’m just too tired for it. “Don’t please,” I kiss him again. “You couldn’t have known and at the time I sure wasn’t sharing. You did save me.” I place my hands on his face, his stubble scratches the soft surface on my palms. “Daniel, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. I’m just sorry these fucking nightmares keep reminding you but they will get better, I promise.” His brow is furrowed and I know he is struggling. He always maintains the utmost control in every aspect of his life and for a short period he didn’t, I nearly died and he won’t accept that there was nothing he could’ve done and that he did, in fact, save my life. It is exhausting. He lets a deep frustrated sigh escape into the darkness and gently kisses my lips. He has been treating me like I’m made of glass since leaving the hospital and for some reason tonight I have had enough.

I pull back and narrow my eyes before he can register my mood I push heavily at his shoulders. He is much, much stronger than me and could easily have resisted but falls back on to the bed. I slip my leg over his hip and sit a stride him, my naked heat on fire against him and I can instantly feel his erection pressing against the cheeks of my bottom. I pull his fresh t-shirt from my body and fix my eyes on his. His desire is fiercely reflected in his heavy lidded eyes and his chest rises as he draws in deeper breaths and I can feel his body vibrate with the rumble that escapes his mouth. He stares at my now naked frame, the room is dark and our bodies are all shadow and scent. I take his hands and place them on my breasts; he needs no further encouragement as he firmly squeezes the soft full flesh. He shifts the weight to lightly pinch my nipple but I grab his wrist before he can and I lean forward to put his arms above his head. I am not sure how this is going to work, he is so much bigger than I am and I have to stretch, shuffling my knees along the bed. I can see his grin and I try to manoeuvre him into position, he is being kind and helping but I am now hovering with my breasts just above his face as I place his hands on the bedframe. I can feel his warm breath and despite the heat, my nipples are hard aching peaks, desperate for his mouth but I pull just out of reach as he tilts his head and angles his soft wet lips.

Honestly, there is nothing I want more than to feel his lips and mouth suck and tease me but this is about getting him to react, to force him to react. I know I am out of my comfort zone trying to get him into his comfort zone, but I miss him. I love when we make love but I love when he is hard and demanding too, pushing me, driving me insane with need and desire but lately its felt much more sedate and more like
driving miss daisy.
I lean to kiss his jaw and he turns to take my lips but I move back out of reach, I do this several times all the time gently rocking my hips just nudging the tip of his erection with my soft cheeks. I can see his jaw tick and his grip is all white knuckles but he hasn’t let go. I lean forward and sweep my tongue along his parted lips, dipping it in and dancing lightly with his tongue. I can’t hold back the moan that escapes my throat and I sink deeper demanding a similar heated exchange from his tongue. I drag in a deep breath and sit back holding my heavy breasts.

“Fuck!” He growls and his hips jerks tipping me forward slightly.

”What do you want Daniel?” My voice is breathy.

“I want to make love to you.” His voice is deep and strained, I can feel his tenuous control and I’m counting on its precariousness.

“Wrong answer.” I moan out the soft words as I suck my finger and trace it down my torso. I am so turned on right now, I didn’t realise I would enjoy being out of my comfort zone so much. Daniel’s eyes narrow as they follow the line of my finger, not sure he is enjoying the switch in roles quite so much. My finger reaches the top of my sex and I lift slightly to give myself better access.