Nervous (10 page)

“What? What the fuck are you talking about?” Henry was panic-stricken. “I don’t know you.”

“The bitch” got up and placed her hands on her hips in anger. “Oh, so you’re just going to play me like that, huh?” She turned to Meredith. “My name’s Mahagony and I’m carrying your husband’s child.”

Meredith threw her hands up in the air in alarm and looked at Henry. “Damn, Henry, she’s pregnant too?” Meredith was totally embarrassed. She couldn’t believe all of this was happening in front of her family members. She switched her attention to Mahagony. “It’s Thanksgiving. Couldn’t you have had the decency to at least wait until tomorrow? We have guests.”

Mahagony said, “I don’t give a damn about your guests. Your husband paid me for sex,
at first.
Then it became more than that. I started being with him for free and we fell in love. Why should I have to spend my holidays alone? I belong here just as much as you do. Even more, probably, because I’m the one satisfying his needs.”

Henry seized Mahagony and started pushing her toward the door. “I don’t know what kind of game you’re running but you need to get the hell out of this house right now.”

Meredith’s sister, Elaine, Miss Know-It-All, was the first family member to jump into the mix. “Henry, how could you do this to Meredith? She’s been faithful to you all these years and treated you like gold. You filthy bastard!”

Mahagony pulled away from Henry and spit in his face. “That’s right! You are a filthy bastard!”

Meredith couldn’t take it anymore. She broke out in tears and ran upstairs. Both of her sisters followed her.

The rest of the family stood around in silence, regarding Henry with expressions that ran the breadth from anger to pure repugnance.

Jude really laid it on thick by burying her head in a pillow from the sofa and sobbing. She was in actuality laughing and grinning from ear to ear but they all thought she was overcome with emotion. One of her uncles came over and started patting her on the back. “It’s going to be okay, Jonquinette.”

Henry finally broke out of the state of shock he’d gone into when Meredith took off up the stairs. He became physical and dragged Mahagony out the door onto the porch. He told her, “Don’t ever come around here again or I’m calling the police. You’re obviously some hopeless whore who thinks she can achieve something from doing this. Well, you’re not getting a damn thing except locked up if you don’t leave.”

Henry came back in and slammed the door in her face.

Everyone could hear her outside screaming, “You bastard! I should call the police on you! You’re gonna take care of me and this baby! I’m taking you to court! You hear me, Henry! Do you hear me, you bastard!”

Jude got up from the couch, wiping fake tears and announced, “I’m going to lie down!”

No one paid much attention to her as she eased upstairs. They were all too busy preparing to rip Henry a new asshole for mistreating the precious Meredith.

Ten
P.M.

Jonquinette woke up and wondered why it was so quiet in the house. She noticed that it was dark outside and couldn’t believe it when she saw that it was ten o’clock on her digital alarm clock. She couldn’t have possibly slept through the entire Thanksgiving.

She got up and went into the bathroom to wash her face. When she glimpsed in the mirror, she couldn’t remember putting on the outfit she was wearing. There was a sheer layer of lip gloss on her lips. She didn’t recall putting that on either.

As she went down the hall toward the steps, she paused to look into her parents’ bedroom. There were clothes strewn everywhere and evidence of a struggle. Jonquinette grew scared.
Had something bad happened? Had there been an intruder or something?

Jonquinette tiptoed downstairs and was relieved when she saw her aunt Elaine and aunt Louise sitting on the couch with her mother between them.

“Momma,” she called out. “What’s going on? Where’s everyone else?”

Her mother didn’t answer. Instead, she broke out in tears.

Elaine hopped up and came over to Jonquinette. “Don’t worry. It’s going to be fine. You and your mother still have each other.”

At that point, Jonquinette’s knees went weak. “Where’s my daddy?” she asked.

Elaine cradled Jonquinette’s face in her hands. “He’s gone.”

“Gone.” Jonquinette started crying. “He died?”

“No, child. In light of what happened earlier today, your mother thought it best that he leave. He took some things with him and, who knows, maybe one day they can reconcile.”

Meredith yelled out in anger, “Don’t lie to her! There’s not going to be any damn reconciliation! He cheated on me with a hooker! A hooker! I hope he burns in hell!”

Louise patted Meredith on the back. “If there’s any justice in this world, he will burn in hell for all eternity.”

Jonquinette didn’t know what to say, so she didn’t say one single word.

jonquinette

I heard the knock at my door and debated. I wanted to go out with Mason so bad but, in all fairness, how could I allow him to become involved with a basket case like me?

He knocked again and I realized he wasn’t going away. It was seven on the dot and we had a date. I couldn’t believe I was going on an actual date: my first for all intents and purposes.

I smoothed out the cream dress I had selected to wear, one last time, hoping it wasn’t too wrinkled. Then I opened the door.

“Hey, Mason.”

“Hey, Jonquinette.” He was standing there looking as attractive as ever. “You all set to go?” he asked.

“Um…” I was too caught up in his hazel eyes to come up with an answer at first. Then I realized I couldn’t go through with it. “Actually, could you step inside for a moment? I really need to talk about something important with you.”

“No, no, no,” Mason said, shaking his head so his dreadlocks swung from side to side. “Don’t do this to me again, Jonquinette. Don’t cancel out on our date.”

“Could you please just come in?” Grudgingly, he came inside but stood right inside the door and didn’t venture any farther. “Mason, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

He grinned, as if to say “is that all?”

“I’m sure. There are tons of things we don’t know about each other,” he said. “That’s the whole rationale behind dating—getting to know each other better.”

“You don’t understand.” I diverted my eyes from him. “I have some issues that I need to work through before I can get caught up with someone.”

“Okay, I’ll bite.” He crossed him arms in front of him and sighed. “What kind of issues?”

I turned my back on him and went to sit down on the couch. “This is extremely complicated for me.”

After closing my front door, coming into the living room and sitting down beside me, Mason said, “Take your time.”

How could I put it without making myself sound insane?

“Let’s just say that I have a lot of emotional baggage that I’m hauling around with me.”

“Don’t we all?” Mason asked. He reached for me and gently rubbed my shoulder. “Jonquinette, I don’t profess to be some sort of saint. I’ve had troubled relationships in my past. I’m not about to give up on finding Ms. Right, though. Life is short and I intend to share mine with someone.”

“So you’re looking for a serious relationship?” I asked, because I knew that if I entered into any type of relationship at that point in my life, it would have to be a committed one. Dating numerous men was definitely out of the question. Besides, Mason was the only man I had ever been willing to take the risk for anyway.

“Eventually,” he responded. He slid his hand all the way down my arm and took my hand. “I won’t lie to you or attempt to deceive you. No one ever knows where something might lead. But, I’m at the point in my life where I could see myself settling down with my soul mate.” He leaned over and kissed me on the corner of my mouth. “I’m only being so persistent with you because I have a feeling that you might be her.”

“Then again, I might not be her,” I stated halfhearted. If I was crazy, then I certainly wasn’t the one for him or anyone else.

“There’s only one way to find out,” he said and stood up, pulling me up with him. “So, are we going out to dinner or not?”

I strained my mouth into a smile. “Sure. Why not?”

Mason gave me a strong hug. “Exactly. Why not?”

Less than thirty minutes later, we were being seated at a nice, cozy table at the Skyy Club. “This is a nice restaurant,” I commented.

Mason opened up his menu. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Do you come here often?” I asked.

“No, this is my first time here. One of my buddies told me about the place at work. He said it had a remarkable atmosphere and appetizing food.”

The place definitely had charm and the aroma throughout the restaurant was mouth-watering. “Well, he was right on both counts.” There was a band playing that was also incredible. “The music is wonderful also,” I added.

“So tell me more about yourself, Jonquinette.”

“I’m an accountant for an office supply company and that’s about it. I generally go to work and come home. What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a quality control manager for a biomedical company.”

“That sounds major. Are you a brainiac?”

“Not hardly. My parents kind of forced me into the profession. They thought it would pay well and get me out of their house before I turned forty.”

We both laughed.

“It’s true that a lot of college graduates are having problems making it solo,” I said.

“Well, you seem to be holding your own.”

“I don’t really have a choice. My father is no longer in my life and my mother is not the type of person to live with. She would drive me plum foolish. So I definitely have to make it by myself.”

I was hoping Mason didn’t ask me for more details about my parents.

“What other things do you enjoy doing?” he asked.

I shrugged because I honestly didn’t know.

“Do you like movies? Plays? Museums?”

I shrugged again. “I suppose I like all of the above but it has been ages since I’ve been to any of them,” I replied honestly.

“Well, we’ll have to change that. We can’t have you hiding out in your apartment, missing out on the finer things in life.”

How did he know I hid out in my apartment?

“This is what we’re going to do. Within the next month, I’m going to take you to at least one movie, one play, and one museum. Deal?”

“Deal.” I tried to cover my blush my putting the menu up closer to my face. “Thank you.”

“There’s no need to thank me. Thank you for agreeing to spend at least three more evenings with me.”

I blushed so hard, I thought my cheeks would explode.

We enjoyed a delicious meal: rosemary chicken with tarragon sauce, garlic mashed potatoes, and steamed asparagus. Mason convinced me to dabble with a little wine so we shared a bottle of Kendell-Jackson Chardonnay. It was smooth-tasting but left me a bit tipsy.

Mason asked, “How about a dance?”

I wasn’t secure about being able to get up without falling right back down on my ass but I said, “Sure.”

The band was playing a jazzy version of Jagged Edge’s “Good-bye.” When Mason took me into his arms, I had never felt more protected or warm. I laid my head on his chest and got lost in the total experience. Then he made an extraordinary evening even more perfect by lifting my chin and fervently kissing me.

When we returned to my place, we spent an entire hour “making out.” That was another first for me and I was thoroughly comfortable with it until…

…he tried to slip his fingers inside my panties, which were soaking wet.

I pushed him away and said, “I’m sorry. I’m just not ready.”

Mason didn’t get mad or cop an attitude at all. He kissed me on the forehead and said, “Thanks again for the lovely evening.”

I grinned. “No, thank you.”

He got up from the sofa and let himself out, saying, “I’ll see you later,” as he shut the door behind him. I remained on the sofa for a good fifteen minutes, just lying there and pondering the possibilities. It was time to pay another visit to Dr. Spencer.

jonquinette

It was Monday and time for my next appointment. For some reason, it felt like I was floating on air as I made my way down the hallway to Dr. Spencer’s office. Mason had changed me for the better and I was determined to improve my situation even further. No matter what it took, I was going to find an inner peace.

“Did I ever tell you how I found out about you?” I asked Marcella after I was seated on her chaise lounge.

“No, how?” she replied. “I would guess that someone referred you but I don’t often ask who.”

“Zoe Reynard suggested that I contact you.”

A huge grin came across her face, like I had mentioned her best friend or something. “Aw, Zoe. She’s wonderful, isn’t she?”

“From what I’ve seen, yes, she is.”

“If you don’t mind my asking, how do you know Zoe?”

I wasn’t sure I wanted to go there. Then again, I was paying to see a psychiatrist so if I couldn’t tell her everything, who could I tell? “I don’t really know her. She’s very active in these meetings I used to attend.”

“I assume you mean the sexual addiction meetings at the hospital,” Marcella said.

“Yes.”

“When you say
used to,
does that mean you no longer go to them?”

“I haven’t been for the last few weeks.”

“Any particular reason?”

I took a deep breath. “For one thing, I’m not sure I’m addicted to sex. I mean, I’ve never had sex to my knowledge. I was just baffled and had no idea where to turn. Then one day I saw this ad in the local community paper about various support groups at the hospital. On an impulse, I checked out their website and sure enough, they had something for people with sexual troubles.”

“Well, I’m just glad that you decided to give me an opportunity. A one-on-one situation is probably healthier for you anyway.”

“That’s an understatement.” I chuckled. “I attended those meetings week after week and never said a word.”

Marcella apparently didn’t find it comical. She just said, “Then this is definitely best for you.”

“Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how I came to find you.” There was a pregnant pause before I added excitedly, “I have some news.”

Marcella sat up taller in her chair. “Okay, I’m listening.”

“I have this new neighbor. His name’s Mason,” I said with a grin.

“You’re blushing.” Marcella stood up and came around the desk. She sat on the edge closer to me and asked, “Does that mean there’s some interest there?”

I quickly admitted, “A
whole lot
of interest, but this is a totally new thing for me. As you know, I’ve never had a boyfriend or anything like that.”

“Then it’s about time you see what having one feels like.”

“Do you really think that’s wise?” I asked. “I mean, under my current circumstances. What if—”

Marcella read me like a book. “You’re afraid that someone else might end up dating him instead, right?”

It had become painfully evident to me that I was not alone in my body. I couldn’t be. And while it was frightening to think that someone else controlled my actions, it was more frightening to allow it to continue without trying to do something to stop them.

“Right,” I said. “I’ve thought long and hard about what you said and it’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“I’m glad you realize that,” Marcella said.

“So what do I do and where do I go from here?”

Marcella seemed lost in deep thought for a moment. “Have you given any more thought to contacting your father?”

“Why did you bring him up?” I asked, even though I had indeed thought a lot about it.

“Sometimes people from our past can help us put together the pieces. You said your mother refuses to face facts but that your father always suspected something.”

I shook my head in dismay. “I still don’t understand what happened the night he got kicked out the house. It was one of those days when I simply wasn’t there. I had blacked out completely and on Thanksgiving Day, no less.”

“Thanksgiving?”

“Yes.” I closed my eyes so I could recall the bad memories. “From what I’ve been able to piece together, a hooker showed up at the family dinner claiming that my father had been paying her for sexual favors for months. She also told everyone she was pregnant.”

“Oh my! Was it true?” Marcella gasped.

“He denied it all,” I replied. “The funny thing is, I just can’t imagine my father doing something like that, especially with a hooker.”

“But why would someone just show up and say that unless it was true?”

“That is something that will probably boggle my mind forever. My mother has never gotten over it. She thinks that by dating a bunch of other men, it will make her feel like more of a woman. Having someone trashy show up claiming to be his side action really messed with her self-esteem. She’s been trying to get it back ever since.”

“It sounds like she might need some counseling as well.”

As ugly as my own situation was, even I couldn’t help but laugh at that one. “Momma definitely needs some help.”

“Do you think your mother would consider attending some sessions here with you?”

I snickered at the mere thought. “Not in this lifetime.”

“What about your father?” Marcella asked me.

“Quite honestly, I have no idea. My father might have finally written me off by now. If I were him, I would.”

“But you’re not him,” Marcella reminded me. “You should at least call him.”

“I’ve never stopped loving him,” I whispered. Then I looked Marcella in the eyes. “A phone call might not do it. Maybe I’ll go see him.”