Need You Tonight (21 page)

Gibson smiled. “So it is.”

Kade drummed his fingers on the desktop. “You’re thinking she’s going to run scared.”

Gibson stood. “Doesn’t matter what I think. But I will say that, for your sake, I
hope she proves me wrong.”

Kade started to reply, but Gibson was already slipping out the door. He waited until
the lock clicked shut and pulled out his cell phone to find a number. He hit the name
he was looking for.

The call was answered on the second ring. “Hey there, Vandergriff. Another call? Tell
the truth. Are you hitting on me? Because I know you have a thing for the Austins.”

He smirked. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you, Jace? For the last
time, I didn’t know she was married or that she was your sister.”

And boy had he felt like an ass when he’d made a pass at Jace’s married sister.

Jace laughed. “Sure, whatever, home wrecker. What can I do for ya?”

“I’m going to need another order. And maybe a little help setting up something at
The Ranch.”

“Is this for your lovely girl from the other night? Thanks for inviting us along by
the way. The three of us don’t bring things out in the open very much except for an
occasional weekend at The Ranch, so it was fun to push our own limits some.”

“No problem. I’m glad you had a good time.” Kade tilted back in his chair, rubbing
the back of his head. “And yes, this is for her.”

“Yeah, dude, sure, whatever you need. And I know Wyatt and Kelsey are going to be
out there this weekend, if you need any extra help putting something together. Kelsey’s
good at organizing stuff.”

He smiled. “Always good to have a load of kinky friends one can call upon.”

“You know it,” Jace said with a chuckle.

He and Jace made quick plans and exchanged good-byes. After hanging up the phone,
Kade ran his palms along the arms of his chair, the gears in his mind starting to
turn. It was time to put it all out there, show Tess who he really was.

He just had to hope that by the end of all this, she wasn’t running for the nearest
exit. Because the last time he’d taken a chance and revealed what he really wanted
to Tessa, it had demolished everything.

TWENTY

1996

“I’m starting to think this magazine just rewords everything each month and prints
the same stories,” Tessa said with a huff. She was flopped across her bed in gym shorts
and a tank top, flipping through some chick magazine and chewing her thumbnail.

Meanwhile, Kaden was sitting on Tess’s pink beanbag chair on the floor, contemplating
if he’d lost his mind. He wondered would someone who had actually lost his mind even
be able to contemplate that? But surely something had to be wrong in the universe
because he was in Tessa McAllen’s bedroom alone at ten at night and there was no tutoring
going on. “You should read
Rolling
Stone
instead.”

“Maybe.” She glanced over at the darkened window then over to him. “I’m sorry about
this, by the way. Now I feel like a dork for calling you. But I really did think I
heard something outside.”

“It’s not a b-b-big deal,” he said, trying to sound casual but the stutter giving
him away as usual. “I was heading out when you called anyway.”

“Yeah?” she said, her tone hopeful. “Where to?”

He shrugged. “Just out. My mom’s working overnight shifts all weekend, and my stepdad
really goes full throttle when she’s away. I’m sure he’s halfway through the vodka
supply by now, and I’d rather not be in his path. Even Gib is staying at a friend’s
house.”

She frowned. “That sucks. Doesn’t your mom realize how he is?”

He sighed and looked up at her ceiling, which had posters of country singers and bands
he’d never be caught dead listening to taped to it. “I don’t think she knows how bad
it gets. He puts on a decent show for her, but she’s got her own issues. When she’s
not working, she’s mostly in bed, zoned out on her pills for her back. I think she’s
too depressed to bother doing anything about him.”

“My real mom was into pills, too,” she said quietly, drawing his attention from the
ceiling back to her. She never talked about her birthparents, at least not to him.
“She had mental problems or whatever and was supposed to take medication. But it made
her feel crappy. Or, at least that’s what she said. She started doing the nonprescription
stuff instead and kind of forgot she had a kid to take care of.”

He frowned, not knowing what to say to that.
That sucks
didn’t seem like the right response. “What happened after that?”

She looked down at the magazine and started flipping pages again, but he could tell
she wasn’t seeing them. “One day she just didn’t come home. I slept in the closet
with my Glo Worm toy because I was scared when it got dark. The neighborhood wasn’t
great so there were lots of noises at night. I lasted two weeks at home alone until
I had to go to a neighbor and ask if they had anything to eat. I’d run out of Captain
Crunch and stuff to make cheese sandwiches. They called child services.”

“Jesus.” Kaden sat up, his heart dropping to his stomach. “How old were you?”

“Six.” She closed the magazine and tossed it onto the floor. “That was the last time
I ever stayed home alone.”

God, no wonder she’d called him in a panic earlier tonight, begging him to come over
and check the house when she’d heard something outside. Being alone like this probably
terrified her. “When are you foster p-p-parents getting back into town?”

She was chewing her nails again and had to lower her hand to respond. “Not ’til Monday.
Apparently, they decided I was trustworthy enough to stay on my own while they went
to some work conference.”

“And now you have a guy in your room,” he said, trying to lighten the mood. “Breaking
rules already.”

She gave him a little smile. “Not
technically
. They said it was okay for you to come over if we needed to study. I doubt they meant
at night, but whatever.”

“What about Doug?”

She sniffed and the drawn look she’d been wearing lifted a bit. “Of course
he
can’t come over. I mean, they think he’s a nice guy and all, but they know we’re
dating. So you know, high risk of shenanigans or whatever. Can you believe they actually
use words like
shenanigans
?”

Doug was high risk. Kaden was no risk. Even her parents saw him that way. How frigging
comforting. “Words like that were created to fuck with p-p-people who stutter.”

She grinned. “Right? I can barely say it. Stupid word.”

Her retort settled some of the tension strumming through the room. Over the last few
months, they’d gotten to the point where they could joke about sensitive things without
it being a big deal. It was nice to have that ease between them. “So are you going
to break that rule—about Doug?”

She sat her chin on her hand. “No. I’ve learned not to break rules. It’s not worth
it.”

The concept was so foreign to Kaden, he could barely put together a response. “Seriously?”

She laughed at what must have been his stricken expression. “If you break the rules,
your parents get pissed off. I break the rules, the parents can give me back. What
I have here is way better than what I’ve had in the past, so I’m not going to screw
it up.”

“Damn, that kind of sucks.”

She gave a little shoulder scrunch as if it was no big thing. “It’s not that bad.
I kind of like knowing what’s expected of me. If I obey curfew, go to church on Sundays,
and help around the house, they’re happy. That’s way better than trying to figure
out what the hell someone wants from you. The last place I was at, the rules were
on like some sliding scale with each kid getting different versions. Half the time
I got in trouble, I didn’t know what the heck I’d done wrong.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of how my house is. My stepdad changes rules all the time, and
it’s always the opposite of whatever I’m doing. I’ve given up trying and just stay
out of his way as much as possible.”

“Thank God you have only a few months before you go to college.”

He wanted to say the same back to her, but he refused to acknowledge that her following
Doug to Georgia after they graduated was a good plan.

She sat up and he tried—not very successfully—to ignore how thin her tank top was.
“So, now that we’ve established that parents suck, and I’ve completely embarrassed
myself by dragging you out here for no reason, I should probably let you get back
to whatever it was you were going to do tonight.”

Her tone was bright but he didn’t buy her bullshit. The fact that she kept glancing
out the window told him everything he needed to know. “Well, I did have b-b-big plans
to skateboard in the parking lot of the Ace Hardware tonight, but I could be persuaded
to hang around a while if you agree to give me control over the r-r-remote.”

A smile crept onto her face. “Really?”

“And I expect popcorn.”

She laughed. “Done.”

“Then we have a deal.” He pushed up from the floor and she scooted off the bed.

Before he could take a step forward, she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him.
The feel of her body against his was like an electric current plugging into his grid,
lighting up all parts of him. He returned the embrace, wishing he could freeze the
moment, bottle the scent of her.

“Thanks, Kaden,” she said against his chest. “I know this is probably the last way
you wanted to spend a Friday night.”

He pulled back from the hug and looked down at her. God, how many times had he ached
to be this close to her? Before he could let the nerves interfere, he pushed her hair
behind her ears and let his hands linger on her shoulders. “Then you don’t know me
very well because there’s no place I’d rather b-b-be.”

She stiffened briefly, like she always did when he crossed that invisible line. After
their initial kiss that day in the cabin, he’d managed to keep things distant for
a while. But as the months went on and they opened up about their lives to each other,
the barriers had fallen down and more and more they were slipping up and touching
each other with a familiarity that should be reserved for a couple. But he’d never
taken it quite this far or admitted anything out loud.

“Kaden . . .” Her voice was barely audible in the quiet room.

“Why did you call me tonight instead of Doug? I know it’s not just because of the
rule thing.”

Her gaze slid away. “You live closer, and he’s at a guys-only thing tonight.”

“Bullshit. That’s not why.”

She rolled her lips inward but still wouldn’t look at him. “Don’t make me say it.”

He sensed in that moment that it was now or never. He’d never get a better opportunity
to make a stand and tell her exactly how he felt. “You called me because you knew
you could trust me to t-t-take care of you. You called me because you’d rather spend
time with m-me than him.”

She shook her head, but he could see she was blinking fast, fighting tears. “That’s
not true.”

“Then look at me and tell me that. Look at me and tell me you don’t feel anything
but friendship toward me. Tell me you l-l-love Doug, that it’s not about the money
or his fancy family. That even if I had what he had, you’d choose him anyway.”

She lifted her gaze to him, a forlorn look in her eyes. “I love Doug and I’d choose
him anyway.”

But he saw the truth there on her face as plain as it’d ever been. She was lying and
it was killing her. He slid his hands up from her shoulders and cupped her face in
the way he’d imagined so many times since that first kiss. “Then if that’s the case,
t-t-tell me to stop.”

He gave her a beat of a moment then lowered his mouth to hers. She didn’t turn away,
she didn’t stiffen, and she didn’t say stop. Instead, she whimpered into the connection
and stepped closer to him, grabbing his waist. When he tried to deepen the kiss, her
lips parted as if they’d been waiting for this moment as long as he had. His tongue
touched hers and everything inside him went white hot and urgent. His fingers slid
into her hair, and he kissed her like this would be the last girl he’d ever kiss in
his life.

A soft moan slipped from her and it went straight to his groin. But he wasn’t going
to worry about his body’s obvious reaction to her or be embarrassed. He wanted her
to know what she did to him, how badly he wanted to touch her. He breathed her name
into the kiss, and her hands slipped beneath the edge of his T-shirt, the soft touch
of her fingers against his bare skin making his stomach clench in anticipation.

Without realizing it, they drifted the few steps toward the bed, hands and lips exploring
each other with a kind of stunned wonder. Her touch grew more bold, her fingers tracking
along his back beneath his shirt. She moved the fabric upward, as if trying to push
it over his head. A brief moment of panic went through him. He didn’t go without his
shirt even to swim. His pudgy years had scared him off of that. But when she made
another breathy sound, he shoved the anxiety aside and pulled back from the kiss to
tug his T-shirt up and off. If she wanted to touch him skin to skin, he’d be a fucking
idiot not to let her.

She sat down on the bed and looked at him, really looked at him. And what he saw there
soothed any remaining self-consciousness. If she cared that he didn’t have a six-pack,
she sure didn’t show it. And, God, what a sight she was—wet lips and flushed cheeks.
He was going to die if she told him to stop now. But even though he was afraid talking
would break the moment, he also needed to be sure. “Tell me you want me to keep kissing
you, Tess.”

He braced for her to run like last time, but she held out her hand to him, inviting
him onto the bed. “I want you to keep kissing me.”

Thank you, God.
He’d take that earlier threat of atheism back.

He climbed onto the bed and laid her against the pillows, then lowered in for another
kiss. This time she wrapped her arms around his neck and they rolled to their sides.
Everything inside Kade was flying. Nothing could be or ever would be better than this.
Somehow he knew that. This was it for him. The way she smelled, the softness of her.
And Lord, her taste—toothpaste and girl and lip gloss that had faded. He’d never forget
it.

To his relief, she seemed just as eager for him. Each stroke of their tongues built
his confidence and made him bolder. Following her lead from earlier, he let his fingers
move beneath the bottom edge of her tank top, the smooth skin of her hip and belly
like hallowed ground beneath his fingertips. He kept his touch easy, unsure of how
far she wanted this to go. He wasn’t exactly experienced in determining the signs.
He’d barely made it to second base with anyone before and none of his meager experience
had been like this.

Tessa broke from the kiss with a gasp, her eyes searching his. “What are we doing?”

“Whatever we want,” he said, pushing her hair back from her face and praying she wasn’t
going to shut down on him. “What d-d-do you want, Tess?”

She stared at him for a long moment, then shifted position. He thought she was going
to climb off the bed, but instead she reached for the hem of her tank top and pulled
it over her head, revealing a purple cotton bra and an eyeful of flesh. Kaden’s brain
nearly melted right out of his ears, and all his blood rushed straight south. “You
don’t h-h-have t-t-to, there’s no p-p-pressure . . .”

Fuck, he couldn’t speak on a normal day, but this might short out his system for good.

She met his gaze and reached to the spot holding the two bra cups together. With a
flick of her fingers, she unhooked it and let it fall open. “I’m not doing this because
I feel pressured.”

Yeah, he had no shot at speaking now, so he wasn’t going to even try. Plus, he had
to put all his energy into
not coming right this very second
.

“I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’m not ready to become horror movie bait yet. But
I also know I don’t want to stop yet.”

The words nearly caused wings to sprout from his back he was so damn happy. “C-c-come
here. I d-d-don’t know what I’m d-d-doing either.”