Natasha's Awakening (48 page)

When he’d finished washing her hair and rinsing it out, he washed himself and Natasha stood under the spray, brushing her teeth. She felt so much better with clean teeth and the vomit washed from her hair. Eric asked if he could use her toothbrush and she reminded him of the fact she’d been sick and that her toothbrush had been in her mouth after she’d vomited but he didn’t care. He simply rinsed the toothbrush off under the shower and brushed his teeth.

After their shower, Eric dried Natasha thoroughly and she left him to go and get dressed. She slipped into a matching white lace bra and panties before pulling on her favourite old jeans and a well worn t-shirt.

Eric dressed in the clothes he’d worn to dinner since he had no alternatives and they walked downstairs together. “Are you hungry baby?” He asked and Natasha was surprised to discover that she was. It seemed at least that the morning sickness didn’t last long which was a huge relief.

“I’m starving.” She told him.

“Let me make you breakfast baby.” Eric said and Natasha looked at him in surprise.

“Don’t you have to get to work?” She asked and he shrugged.

“I’m the boss Natasha, I can go in whenever I want. Besides I want to make breakfast for you. You were sick, it’s important that you eat baby. If you think your stomach is up to it of course.”

Natasha couldn’t help but look at Eric in surprise. Why would he want to stay and make breakfast for her? “Feeding me isn’t going to get you in my pants again.” She joked and Eric sighed.

“I know this morning was a moment of weakness baby. I’m not expecting any more from you other than to let me be around you and just let me take care of you when I’m offering, ok? Plus having you leap up to go and throw up straight after we made love didn’t do a hell of a lot for my ego.” He gave her his crooked smile and Natasha couldn’t help but laugh.

“Fine, do your worst in the kitchen.” She said.

Eric’s worst turned out to be delicious. He cooked her bacon and eggs, with it served on perfectly cooked toast. Natasha was starving and ate everything.

He watched her with an amused expression. “You were hungry baby.”

“I feel fine now Eric, so hopefully that was the last of the throwing up.”

As it turned out it was not the last of the morning sickness for Natasha. She discovered over the next few days that morning sickness became lunch time and afternoon sickness. In fact at times it was all day sickness and after a couple of weeks passed with no improvement, she was beginning to feel tired and drained.

She had gone back to work but when she kept ducking off to the ladies room to throw up, Eric ordered her home and wouldn’t let her come back in to the office. “What about my job Eric?” Natasha asked. “You’re the one that wanted me back and I said I’d find a replacement for me.” She reminded him.

“Fuck it baby. Much as I’ll miss you as my PA, I don’t need you that badly that I’m prepared to have you take risks with your health. Go home baby, get some rest.” Eric said, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. She smiled at him weakly. She really wasn’t feeling too good and this pregnancy was going to be a long one if she was going to be sick through it all. “Oh baby, come here.” Eric said pulling her into his arms and closing his lips over hers. Natasha tried to step away from him conscious that she’d recently vomited and her breath probably wasn’t good.

“Eric, I was sick, I wouldn’t kiss me if I was you.” She warned.

“I don’t care baby.” And he kissed her again. Natasha couldn’t help the tiny burst of happiness inside her. She had been so convinced that Eric would treat her like she was nothing more than his PA when she returned to work, but he hadn’t. He touched her around other staff, kissed her and was obviously very attentive to her.

“What about everyone else Eric? They’ll know something is going on.” She said but he just snorted,

“Baby, I don’t give a fuck. I want everyone to know you’re mine, ok?”

“I’m not yours though Eric. I have no hold over you, just as you have no hold over me.” Natasha pointed out.

“Natasha stop it baby. I know you still don’t trust me, but I’ve held your hair while you vomited. Does it get any worse than that and yet I’m still here. Like it or not we are bound together by the child you’re carrying.”

Natasha stepped back from him her expression still skeptical. “I don’t want you to stick around just because I’m pregnant Eric. Seriously, you should be out looking for the next woman to conquer.” She told him.

Eric’s expression turned cold. “You’re always trying to push me away and you seem to want me to end up in the arms of another woman Natasha. What the hell for? Why the fuck can’t you accept that maybe I’ve changed? I don’t want another woman, I only want you.” Something flashed across Eric’s face. “Is that what you want is it? Do you want me out of your life?” He asked.

Natasha sighed. “No Eric, I don’t, I’m just trying to make it perfectly clear that you can leave anytime you want. I’m not going to use our baby to hold you against your will. I want you to be a part of your child’s life, but I need you to understand that I’m not trying to hold you a prisoner in this relationship, or whatever you want to call it.”

Eric’s frustration grew. He raked his hands through his hair impatiently. “Fuck it Natasha, I don’t want to go through this shit all the time. I don’t want anyone else, I don’t want to go anywhere, I’m not going to get bored and disappear. I just wish you could believe that. I’m still terrified about becoming a Father, you know why I feel like that, but it doesn’t change anything.” He cupped her face between his palms, “I’m..not..going…anywhere.”

Suddenly Natasha pulled away from Eric and managed to spit out that she was going and she ran off to the ladies room to throw up again. When she finally walked back out the door, Eric was leaning against the wall waiting for her. “Come on baby, I’m taking you home.”

“It’s ok Eric, you have work to do and if I go with you then I don’t have my car. I don’t want to leave it here.” She told him.

“I’ll drive your car baby and get the limo to follow so I can get back to the office. I’m driving you so don’t argue with me.” He said, that determined look on his face that Natasha was so familiar with. There was no reasoning with him when he got that look. With a sigh she gave in and followed Eric to the elevators to head down to the carpark under the building where her car was parked.

The next week Natasha caught up with her Mother and they went out for lunch. She had nothing much to do now since Eric refused to allow her to work anymore while she was still suffering from bad all day sickness, not just morning sickness. Her Mother wanted to know how things were going with her and Eric and Natasha told her how he was being very attentive and had asked if they could start over, dating and getting to know one another more personally.

“Eric loves you baby girl. I’m sure of that. I saw it in his face when he came over that night with the pregnancy test strip. You hurt him badly. That man’s face held so much pain.” She told her daughter and Natasha snorted.

“He doesn’t love me Mum. He’s never once told me he loves me and he hurt me too you know. I’m not sure what he’s trying to prove by being so attentive all of a sudden but I think I’m just a novelty for him and sooner or later he’ll get bored. He always does. I’ve seen it over and over again with the various women he’s been with.”

Her Mother just shook her head. “Ok baby girl, you have it your way, but one day you’ll find out I was right.”

After their lunch together, Natasha headed home and suffered through another round of vomiting. Drained and bone weary she had crawled into bed and slept the rest of the day. The constant nausea was starting to get to her and she could tell she was losing weight as her clothes didn’t fit as well as they used to. She hadn’t seen Eric for a few days, but that didn’t surprise her as he’d told her he had to fly to England on business and he wasn’t sure how long he’d be gone for. He’d found the time to ring her every day to see how she was though. Natasha had played down the severity of her all day sickness so she wouldn’t have to endure a lecture from him.

It was rapidly drawing near to the time when she would have to make another appointment to see her doctor and she hoped that he might be able to give her something to help with the morning sickness since she was having trouble keeping anything down, including water.

She was lying on the lounge early one evening after another day of vomiting, feeling very weak and incredibly tired when someone knocked at her door. Stumbling to her feet and struggling to control the rolling of her stomach which being upright seemed to trigger, she made her way carefully to the door and after a glance through the peep hole and seeing it was Eric, she swung the door wide for him. He was carrying a huge bouquet of flowers and Natasha managed to smile weakly at him.

“Natasha, baby.” He groaned, pulling her into his arms and holding her tight. She sagged in his arms and Eric set her back from him to look her up and down. His expression darkened as his eyes travelled the length of her.

“Bloody hell baby, you’ve lost weight. That can’t be right. What’s wrong with you? Are you still sick?” His voice was filled with concern and Natasha promptly replied by doubling over and vomiting over his shoes. Tears filled her eyes when she saw what she had done and she looked up at him to apologize but she couldn’t see him properly, he was fading behind a grey haze that filled her vision.

“Eric.” She said, her voice croaking from her throat that was raw from vomiting and past her dry cracked lips, the result of her dehydration and vomiting.

“Natasha, baby, god, what’s wrong, you’re as white as a sheet.” He said. He didn’t seem too concerned that she’d just soiled his shoes and that the acrid smell of vomit was rising between them. Natasha struggled to focus on him and she blinked a couple of times but the grey was getting darker and darker and it was becoming harder to fight it. Slowly she crumbled in front of Eric as her legs gave way and she was just vaguely aware of his voice as he shouted at her, and his strong arms closing around her, before she was sucked down into the darkness.

                                                                             Chapter 22.

Natasha came too slowly. Her throat burned and was so incredibly dry that when she tried to swallow, it hurt. She could hear a steady beep, beep noise and voices talking in hushed tones but Natasha was reluctant to open her eyes. She groaned, moving her head restlessly on the pillow beneath her and she realised that her hand was being held in a firm, warm grip, which tightened when she groaned again. “Natasha, baby. Wake up, please baby.” Eric’s voice came from nearby.

Slowly she opened her eyes, blinking against the bright overhead lights. The lights were unfamiliar to her, this wasn’t her house and as Natasha’s eyes adjusted, she looked around and finally her gaze settled on Eric’s face as he leaned over her, worry clearly evident in his intense blue eyes. “Eric.” Her voice croaked and he smiled at her, relief evident in the look he gave her.

“Yes baby, it’s me. How do you feel?” He asked.

“My head hurts, my throat hurts, it’s too bright in here.” She said. “Where am I? Water, I need water.” Eric poured her a glass from the jug next to her bed and held it to her lips. She swallowed thirstily, enjoying the soothing wash of the cold water against her burning throat.

“Better?” And Natasha nodded.

“Where am I?” She asked again.

“You’re in the hospital baby.” Eric told her. “You fainted when I came to see you. You’re lucky I showed up at your house when I did, otherwise you could have ended up in serious trouble. You scared the hell out of me. I thought I was going to lose you and the babies.” He said, raising her hand to his lips and Natasha could see he meant it when she saw the fear in his eyes.

“I feel like crap.” She told him. Suddenly her eyes grew really big. “What…did…you…just …say?” And Eric told her again how scared he’d been.

“Not that Eric. I must be still out of it a bit because I could have sworn you said babies as in more than one, plural. You didn’t say that, did you?”

Eric’s eyes were serious when they met hers. “Yes baby, I said babies. We’re having twins.” His smile was rueful as he watched her reaction. “Who would have thought? That’s part of the reason you’ve been so sick baby. When you collapsed, I rang for an ambulance and once they got you here, the first thing they did was check the baby but they got two heartbeats. God, can you believe it?” Eric raked a hand through his hair. “I was terrified about becoming a Father to one child, but now there’s two of them.”

“Are they ok.” Natasha asked, her eyes filled with worry, but Eric assured her they were fine.

“They’re doing better than you baby. All the vomiting had severely dehydrated you. You were dangerously ill sweetheart. Why the hell didn’t you say something? I could have helped you.” His eyes were tortured. “See, this is my fault. I get you pregnant and now my seed could have killed you. I’m bad news baby and now those babies carry my bad blood and you paid the price. You could have died.” And she watched, as Eric’s voice cracked and tears began to roll down his cheeks.

Natasha felt tears welling in her eyes as she stared at Eric, her heart breaking for him because it was obvious how much his childhood had damaged the man he’d become. He seriously thought he was like a curse or something for her but that couldn’t be further from the truth. She wasn’t sure how she was ever going to convince him that he wasn’t the monster he seemed to think he was. Her hand reached out to cover his, squeezing him gently. “Eric please, this is not your fault. I couldn’t be happier to be carrying your babies. Ok, it’s a bit of a shock to hear there’s going to be two of them, but they will be perfect and beautiful babies because they carry your blood.” She told him as she dropped kisses over his hand. She would have loved to hold him, but lying in a hospital bed with tubes coming out of her stopped Natasha being able to wrap her arms around him.

“Eric, this is silly. A lot of women get sick when they’re pregnant and I’m not the first one to need time in hospital because of dehydration. The only reason I’m here is because of my own stupidity. If I’d paid more attention to how bad the vomiting had become and gone to the doctor, I probably wouldn’t be here now, but I was stubborn, convincing myself it would improve soon. It’s got nothing to do with the babies being yours. These babies are going to be beautiful because they carry your genes, please, don’t let your past colour your future, please.” Natasha implored him. She slipped her hand through Eric’s silky hair as he lay with his head on her. A part of her just couldn’t believe how screwed up his way of thinking was. Her heart broke for him. He was so confident in everything, his work, dealing with people and so talented with how he’d used his abilities to become the successful business man he was today but despite all that, he still believed he was unworthy when it came to being loved, to have someone care for him. How could he be so confident and self assured and yet so insecure and filled with self loathing at the same time?