Natasha's Awakening (67 page)

“Do you think I tricked you into marriage?” Natasha couldn’t help but ask, a quiver in her voice.

Eric cursed. “For fuck sakes baby, no. I know you didn’t trick me into marriage. Damn that bitch for what she’s done to you. Baby, you know I’m the one who proposed marriage. Not once have you ever so much as hinted that we should marry, even when you knew you were pregnant. It’s my fault you got pregnant because I forgot the condom. Don’t let Vivian’s venom get to you. That’s what she wants baby. Don’t give her the satisfaction, please.” Eric’s face was pleading.

“Yes Eric, but if I hadn’t have fallen pregnant, would you still have wanted to marry me?” Natasha’s eyes searched his face for a hint that marriage hadn’t really been what he wanted.

He sighed. “Of course I would have wanted to marry you pregnant or not Natasha. I wanted to marry you because I love you and because I wanted to make you mine. I wasn’t going to risk another man taking you away from me. Don’t do this sweetheart, don’t let that woman’s venom poison your mind.”

Just then the waiter turned up with their meals and Eric fell silent until their plates were before them and the waiter had gone.

“Do you still want to share our meals baby?” Eric asked and Natasha nodded although she wasn’t really feeling like food at all anymore. She watched as he put half his meal on her plate and took half of her meal for himself.

To be fair, the food looked amazing. The pink snapper was served with beetroot puree, perfect looking little baby potatoes and kohlrabi. The quail had crushed minted peas, ricotta filled zucchini flowers and almond dressing.

Natasha made an effort to eat and the food was good, but her appetite was gone. Eric watched her, a frown on his face at the way she mostly just pushed the meal around on the plate, but didn’t actually eat that much of it.

Once they’d finished, Eric asked if Natasha wanted dessert but she told him she just wanted to go back to the hotel. His expression wasn’t happy. It was obvious from his face that he wanted to say more to her, but he kept silent. Chances were he was going to want to talk to her once they were back in their suite.

“I just need to go to the bathroom before we leave.” Natasha said, attempting to give Eric a normal smile, like everything was ok, but it felt more like a grimace than a smile.

“Ok baby, I’ll give Henry a call to bring the limo to come and get us.” As he watched her rise from her chair, he was already pulling his mobile phone out of his pocket.

Natasha walked through the restaurant to the ladies room, her eyes scanning the room for signs of Vivian but fortunately she didn’t see her anywhere so hopefully that meant she’d already left.

She was the only one in the restroom when she got there and she took care of business, hearing the ladies room door open as she was in her cubicle. When she walked out to wash her hands and freshen up a bit, her heart ran cold when she saw Vivian at the mirror applying more lipstick.

Natasha washed her hands trying to avoid the other woman’s eyes that watched her through the mirror, with an expression like she was looking at something she found distasteful.

“You know you won’t be able to keep him don’t you?” Vivian finally said. “Eric’s never been any good at commitment and let’s face it, you’re not exactly his type. You won’t be able to please him in the bedroom and eventually he’s going to want to come back to me. He used to tell me he loved me and he did appreciate what I could do for him in bed.” Her eyes moved down the length of Natasha and her smile was filled with scorn. “I bet you were a virgin weren’t you?” Her smile becoming smug when she saw Natasha blush. “Do you honestly think he’s going to be happy for very long with a woman of little experience? He’ll get bored, like he always does and then you’re out on your ear. He won’t give a stuff about you or your baby.” Natasha didn’t bother pointing out that she was carrying twins. “Although, I have to give you some credit for getting yourself knocked up and landing him that way.” Vivian gave a harsh sounding laugh. “Eric’s a very sexual man and being stuck with a wife who can’t meet his needs once you have your baby and who looks a wreck from no sleep caring for a newborn, is going to have him running straight back into my arms where he can have a real woman.” She smiled, but the smile didn’t reach the ice cold blue of her eyes. “It’s quite sad really for a man like Eric to be burdened with someone like you. You know I knew though. All that mooning after him, making big puppy dog eyes at your boss. Poor Eric probably felt sorry for you and then I suppose he figured he might as well take what was being so blatantly offered. You would have been a novelty for him, but you’ll never be able to keep him.”

Natasha listened to Vivian, trying not to let the pain of the other woman’s words to show on her face. Could what she was saying be true? She’d often wondered why Eric chose her when she was nothing like the women he was normally attracted to.

She cleared her throat and yet she couldn’t control the shakiness in her tone when she tried to tell Vivian that she was wrong. “Eric loves me. He wanted to marry me and it had nothing to do with me being pregnant. If he loved you, why did he dump you and get involved with me?”

Vivian simply laughed again. “Eric didn’t dump me, I dumped him. He was getting too possessive. My job has me travelling quite a lot and he got tired of me having to go away a lot. I told you, Eric likes sex and lots of it and if you can’t accommodate his needs, he’ll move on to someone else who can.” She finished applying her lipstick before saying. “I almost feel sorry for you because he’s not going to want you at all soon. I bet he’s already regretting that he married you, but that’s Eric trying to do the right thing. Still, he’s going get more and more restless for more than you can offer him soon and I’ll be waiting. Sex between Eric and I was always very intense, so exciting.” Vivian tipped her head to one side, a small smile on her lips. Natasha could see she was clearly remembering their times together in bed. Her shrewd eyes watched the colour drain from Natasha’s face.

“Eric told you he would imagine he was having sex with me to get through it with you.” Natasha pointed out, but Vivian merely laughed.

“And you believed him? Seriously, what would you expect the man to say? He couldn’t tell you what the sex between us was really like in front of his very pregnant wife now, could he? Like I said, you’re a bit of a novelty for him right now, but I know Eric and I know the kind of woman that turns him on and it’s not you. I have no doubt that he’ll come running back to my bed as soon as realises he’s bored with you.” Her lips curled up in a smile that clearly showed that she knew she was getting to Natasha. “I need to get back to my lover. He’s probably getting impatient. The man is so insatiable.” She said, rolling her eyes like she was sharing a secret with a girlfriend and not being the woman who was tearing Natasha apart emotionally. “Good luck with Eric. You’re going to need it.” And with that, she walked out of the restroom, leaving Natasha close to tears.

On shaky legs she returned to their table and she could see the concern on Eric’s face. “Are you ok baby? You were gone so long. Are you sick?”

“I’m fine Eric, I just want to get out of here.” Natasha fought hard to not let Eric see how she really felt. His eyes searched her face for a few moments more, but she had wiped her face clear of all emotion and the look she gave him showed nothing of the turmoil going on inside of her.

It was a relief when Eric took her hand and after paying the bill, he walked them outside to where the limo waited for them. Natasha didn’t even notice the views of the city skyline, she was just feeling too miserable to care.

Eric opened the rear door on the limo and she climbed inside, sliding right across to the far side of the seat, not turning her head to watch him as he hopped in alongside of her, as she normally would have done. When the car finally pulled away from the restaurant, Natasha breathed a sigh of relief. Her heart was still aching horribly and she felt ill but she was glad to turn her back on that restaurant and she knew, without a doubt, that she’d never want to set foot inside that place ever again.

                                                                         Chapter 29.

Natasha was quiet on the drive back to the hotel. She could see out of the corner of her eye that Eric was constantly looking over at her, his look filled with concern but she tried to ignore him, not wanting to get into anything with him in the car.

On the ride up in the elevator, she leaned against the back wall, her eyes following the numbers as they lit up for each floor, determined not to make eye contact with Eric in case she burst into tears.

He unlocked the door to their suite and stepped aside to let Natasha walk in ahead of him. He went straight to the bar, pouring himself a scotch and adding ice from the freezer before turning to watch as Natasha removed her shoes and padded barefoot on the carpet, to sit down on the lounge.

“Alright baby, talk to me. I know something is wrong and don’t you try and tell me everything is fine.” Eric came over to sit down alongside of her.

“It’s Vivian, what she said.” Natasha’s voice was so low, Eric had to lean closer to hear her. “When I went to the bathroom, she came in and she told me a few things that upset me.”

She felt Eric stiffen beside her. He sighed, a long drawn out sigh. “What did that bitch say to you baby.” He asked his voice gentle.

“She told me that you would get bored with me, that I don’t have enough sexual experience to hold someone of your needs. She said that you two had a great sex life and that you didn’t dump her, she dumped you because you got too possessive.” Natasha’s eyes moved to Eric’s to try and gauge his reaction to what she was telling him.

His face was filled with a slow burning rage. “Fuck that bitch.” Eric got up from the lounge to kneel in front of Natasha, parting her legs so he could crouch between her knees. He took her hands in his which were cold to his touch. “Baby please, don’t do this. Vivian is lying. Can’t you see she’s just trying to cause problems for us? She didn’t take it very well at all when I called it off with her. She kept ringing me for days afterwards until I changed my mobile number just to try and get her to leave me alone. Sweetheart, I love you. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved and the only woman I’ll ever want.”

Natasha said nothing, just stared at Eric as he pleaded with her. “She just sounded so convincing Eric and to be honest a lot of what she said made sense to me. I’ve wondered myself why you chose me when I’m not one of your usual model type girlfriends. I do worry that I’m not interesting enough in bed for you when you’re so much more experienced than I am and I still do wonder why you married me. A man doesn’t have to marry the woman he gets pregnant anymore. Times have changed.”

Eric responded with a long stream of swearing. “Dammit it Natasha, I’m going to say this only once and then I don’t want to waste any more time talking about that heartless, soulless bitch, ok?” He looked at her waiting for a response and Natasha nodded.

He raised her hands to his lips, dropping kiss after kiss over her palms and wrists before he finally lifted his head and turned his intense blue eyes on hers. “Sweetheart, I love you, only you. I admit when I first suggested we have that week away I had only intended for it to be that week and then it would be over. I’ve never done the happily ever after thing. I’d never met a woman I wanted to do the happily ever after thing with until you, but then somewhere over that week, I think when I came back from that meeting I couldn’t get out of, and found you gone, I panicked. I thought you’d gone at first until I realised all your things were still here and then I got mad because you’d gone out like you didn’t care that I wasn’t here.” Natasha’s mouth opened as she went to respond to his comment, but Eric raised his hand to silence her. “Let me finish, please baby.” He kissed her hands again to soften his order a little. “By the time you got back to the hotel that day I’d worked myself up into quite a state and I went nuts when I saw you. It was anger, relief and as you know, it got out of hand very quickly and that’s where for the first time ever, I forgot all about a condom. Think about it baby. If that bitch Vivian was so hot, how come I never forgot about a condom with her?” Eric shuddered. “God, I couldn’t think of anything worse than her carrying my child. Well, she wouldn’t, she’d have had an abortion for sure. All she cares about is herself and how she looks. No way would she risk a pregnancy that could destroy her body. That’s how she would look at it anyway. You can trust me baby, that if the worst had ever happened and Vivian had fallen pregnant with my child, no way in hell would I have married her. Please believe me, I didn’t marry you because you got pregnant. I couldn’t marry a woman I didn’t love no matter the circumstances and I am aware of the times sweetheart. I know a man and woman don’t need to do the shotgun wedding anymore.”

Natasha listened to Eric, but she still had to say what was going through her mind. “You wanted me to have an abortion though Eric, remember? You were so determined to not become a father.”

“You know why though baby. You know how scared I was. I was so convinced I’d make a terrible father, that I’d be the same way my own father was with me and I wouldn’t want any child to have to grow up feeling so unwanted and hated by their father as I did. I’m still scared Natasha, I’m still terrified that I’ll be a bad father, but I can promise you that I will try to be the best father I can possibly be.” He dropped his head into Natasha’s lap before continuing.

“Please baby, please listen to me, don’t let Vivian poison our marriage. I love you, god I love you so much. I hate what she’s done to you, the doubt I see in your eyes now. She dares to tell you that you won’t be able to hold my interest, that you’re not the kind of woman that I normally feel attracted to and that you won’t be able to satisfy me in bed? Dammit, think about that. The reason I’ve never gone out with a woman like you before is because I never wanted to put my heart at risk of being broken baby. Those other women, ones like Vivian served a purpose, but I could never have fallen for women like them. I used them for my own purposes, I admit that, but they didn’t exactly walk into the relationship with their eyes closed, they knew what they were getting. They got everything they needed, all that shallow, self centred women like them wanted. They got my money, gifts and dare I say it, the publicity but you were different. You’ve never shown any interest in my money. You’ve never asked me for anything baby.”