Nameless (40 page)

‘You’re lovely too,’ he said, throwing off the last of his clothes and climbing into bed, pulling her close for a kiss.

‘Michael,’ said Ruby.

‘Hm?’

‘If I tell you something, will you keep it to yourself? Tell no one else?’

He drew back a little, his expression curious, smiling. ‘What’s this then, secrets?’

‘Promise?’

Something in Ruby’s eyes made him stop smiling. ‘Of course. What is it?’

‘It’s Daisy.’

‘What about her?’

Ruby stared at him.

‘Come on, Ruby, what?’ he prompted.

‘She’s my daughter.’

Michael stared. ‘You
what
?’

Ruby looked away from him. She shouldn’t have said it. But the need to share this, the need to shout aloud to the world that Daisy was her child, her precious baby, had been overwhelming.

‘She’s my child. The twin of the boy we’re looking for.’

‘But you . . . but . . .’ He sat up sharply, dragging his hands through his hair. Then he shot a look at her. ‘Twins? Ruby, help me out here. Are you serious?’

Ruby flicked a look at his face. He seemed shocked. She nodded dumbly.

‘But this don’t make any sense,’ he said. ‘For one thing, Daisy’s Cornelius Bray’s daughter, his and his wife Vanessa’s.’

‘No. She isn’t.’ Ruby drew in a shuddering breath and told him about the night she’d had the babies, the deal Charlie had struck with Cornelius.

‘But wait. Wait.’ He paused, taking it in. ‘Jesus, girl, you’ve really thrown me. Daisy? But Daisy’s white. She’s
white.
And the baby we’re looking for is dark, you said.’

Ruby nodded. ‘Cornelius is white, she’s his child. But look at me, Michael. I have black blood in me.’

‘You’re beautiful,’ he said. And she was, the most exquisite woman he’d ever seen.

‘I’m half black, half white. I think . . . I think my father, my
real
father, was pure black. My mother was white. She died having me and my family hated me for it. That and the fact that I was living proof that she’d been unfaithful.’

Michael flopped back against the pillows and stared at the ceiling. His head turned and he looked at Ruby.

‘You’re shocked,’ she said miserably.

‘I’m . . . yeah, I’m shocked all right. I’m shocked at
you.
That night when Kit was done over by Tito, Daisy was in bits. But you were calm as calm could be, helping her get cleaned up . . . and since then, we’ve met up with her again, and you’ve always been polite to her, nice to her, but . . . for Christ’s sake, Ruby:
she’s your child.
’

Now Ruby felt a pang of irritation. ‘So what would you have had me do?’ she demanded. ‘Fling my arms around her? Blurt out the truth? I couldn’t do that to her. It wouldn’t be
right
.’

Michael was staring at her face.

‘You know what? Sometimes I don’t understand you at all. Me and Sheil were never lucky enough to have kids, but I know for a fact that we couldn’t ever have given them up. No way. Sometimes you’re so bloody cold I can feel it coming off you, like ice.’

‘Why? Because I didn’t do the thing you think is right, the impulsive thing? It’s
Daisy
I was thinking of. She’s grown up with two loving parents . . .’

‘Do you really believe that?’

‘What?’

‘You heard what she said this evening. Her mother’s more interested in a shitting flower bed than she is in her. And Cornelius Bray’s a perverted bastard – everyone in town knows that. He’d screw anything that moves, male or female. He’d stick it in a hole in a
fence
to get his kicks. He’s not that interested in his daughter. And can’t you see it in her?’

‘What?’ Ruby asked faintly. Why was he attacking her?

Michael twisted around and thumped the pillow, hard.

‘Fuck’s sake, Ruby. The poor kid’s a screw-up of the first water. She’d latch onto anything or anybody for a hint of affection. She’s wild, the poor little cow, into drink and drugs and all sorts. She follows Kit around like a lost pup. And there you are, standing back, keeping to the rules, being all reserved and proper about it. A deal’s a deal, that’s what you’re thinking. And you’re doing the best you can for Daisy by letting her get on with it? Ruby.’ He grabbed her shoulder and gave her a slight shake. ‘What that girl needs is
you.
Not that pair of upper-crust twats she’s stuck with.’

Ruby swallowed hard, feeling her eyes fill with tears. ‘You think I should tell her,’ she said.

‘I’m
certain
you should,’ said Michael.

The tears spilled over and ran down her face. ‘No. I daren’t do that. I wanted to once, but now I know I can’t do it. She likes me. She seeks out my company. But if I tell her the truth, she’ll
hate
me. She’ll think I abandoned her.’

‘And she’d be right, wouldn’t she?’

Ruby stared at him. ‘I
had
to. I had no choice. Back then . . . it was hard. A half-caste girl with a dark baby and a white one? Can you imagine the shame that would have brought on my family? They were ashamed of me
anyway.
My God, it would have been unbearable. I would have been stoned in the street, I would have been an outcast . . .’ Ruby started to sob in anguish.

‘Ruby . . .’ Michael was reaching for her.

‘
Don’t touch me!’
she yelled in his face, and she was off the bed in an instant, rounding on him. ‘You don’t understand. You have no idea what it was like.
How dare you judge me?
’

‘I’m not. I swear . . .’

‘Yes, you bloody well
are
,’ she said, and stormed from the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

103

Daisy drove them down in the Mini to the gatehouse at Brayfield. Ruby followed Daisy from room to room, slowly becoming infected with the younger woman’s enthusiasm.

‘In here I thought I’d do something bright. Orange with accents of mauve.’

‘That would look terrific,’ said Ruby. It sounded hellish to her, but it was Daisy’s place and Daisy was so excited that the last thing Ruby wanted to do was piss on her parade.

‘You think so? Not too over-the-top?’

Ruby almost smiled. Daisy herself was over-the-top, might as well do the whole place out in neon. It would suit her personality.

‘You all right?’ asked Daisy. ‘You were quiet on the way down here. Sorry. Did I railroad you into this? Was there something else you had to be doing . . . ?’

‘No!’ Ruby said quickly, forcing her smile to widen. She was still terribly upset about her fight with Michael last night, but she couldn’t discuss that with Daisy. ‘Just tired after a long week, that’s all.’

‘I’ve dragged you around here quite long enough,’ said Daisy apologetically. ‘Come on, let’s get on up to the house and have some tea with mother.’

Ruby’s jaw dropped. ‘What?’ she asked faintly. ‘But I thought you said she was away.’

‘No, she’s here. Change of plan. Cousin Jeremy cancelled at the last minute. Come on,’ said Daisy, already whipping along the hallway to the front door, jangling the keys as she went. ‘I can’t
wait
to get started on this,’ she threw back over her shoulder.

‘Um – Daisy . . .’ Ruby was trailing after her, thinking that this couldn’t happen, that she was on some sort of crazy collision course and she had to divert Daisy from it somehow. ‘Daisy, I think I ought to be getting back . . .’

‘Well, I can’t just go and not call in on her,’ said Daisy. ‘She’d nag me to death if I did.’ Daisy was ushering Ruby outside and relocking the door. Then she hurried over to the Mini. ‘We won’t stay long, don’t worry.’

Ruby found herself getting into the car, and Daisy jumped in and revved the engine before shooting off up the drive towards the house.

Oh help
, thought Ruby as Brayfield appeared through the curving line of trees. Daisy drove like a Formula One racing driver, and they were screeching to a halt in front of the big fountain of Neptune before Ruby could even think. Daisy turned off the engine.

‘I’ll wait in the car,’ said Ruby.

‘No no! Come and meet Mother, she’s a stickler for manners and she’ll only come out and get you if you don’t come in, so you might as well give in right now.’

Shit
, thought Ruby. Feeling like she was about to be shot, she climbed out of the car and followed Daisy up the steps. Daisy put her key in the door, and opened it, guiding Ruby in front of her into a large, cool, airy hall.

‘Mother!’ she yelled.

There was no answer.

‘Perhaps she’s gone out after all,’ said Ruby, hoping against hope.

‘No, she’ll be in the garden I expect, come on . . .’

Daisy led the way through the hall and into a large room painted in soft eggshell blue and gold. Through the open French doors, Ruby could see two people at the far end of the garden, a man and a woman, the woman gesticulating, the man listening.

‘There she is,’ said Daisy. ‘Come on,’ she trilled, and she was out of the doors and hurrying across the grass.

Ruby was forced to follow, but her mouth was dry and her heart was beating sickly in her chest. She’d been stupid to come anywhere near here; she knew it. But the lure of Daisy was just so strong.

Daisy ran up to the woman while Ruby hung nervously back. It was Vanessa, all right. She was wearing faded jeans and Wellington boots with a white top. There was a spade in her hand and she was talking about rudbeckias to the bearded man, clearly the gardener, who listened with polite attention.

‘Mother?’ called Daisy, hurrying towards her.

Vanessa turned and her thin face lit in a smile. ‘Darling!’

Daisy hugged her mother so hard Ruby thought she might break the fragile-looking Vanessa in two halves. So many years had gone by, and with them she could see that Vanessa had not aged well. She was slightly stooping, and her once-delicate complexion was scored with many fine lines from hours spent toiling in the sun.

‘And who is . . . ?’ Vanessa started to say, looking past her daughter to see who she’d brought with her.

As instantly as Ruby had recognized her,Vanessa saw that it was Ruby. Her face fell, and drained of colour. She stared for a long moment, then turned to the gardener. ‘Um . . . if you can carry on with that, Ivan . . . ?’

He nodded, and Vanessa handed him the spade, her eyes averted from Ruby now. She stepped out of the border and onto the lawn.

‘This is Ruby, a friend of mine, I asked her to come down and look over the gatehouse with me,’ said Daisy, glancing between the two older women. ‘Ruby, meet my mother.’

Ruby swallowed hard. ‘Hello,’ she said, and held out her hand.

Vanessa hesitated and then touched Ruby’s hand, very briefly, with her own. ‘Hello,’ she said.

Ruby wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole. She shouldn’t be here. This wasn’t the deal. Cornelius would be furious about this, she knew it. But . . . oh, so what? Let the bastard squirm. He deserved it, didn’t he?

‘Um, look . . . I’m sorry, darling, but I’m very busy at the moment. If you could take Ruby back to the house and make her some tea?’ said Vanessa.

‘I know, I know,’ sighed Daisy. ‘You’re dividing the perennials, right?’

‘You see? You could be a gardener,’ said Vanessa, smiling slightly.

‘No, I couldn’t. I’ve just picked it all up from you. I hate gardening.’

‘It’s a beautiful garden,’ said Ruby, feeling she really ought to say something.

‘Thank you,’ said Vanessa, and her eyes were full of freezing-cold wrath as they bored briefly into Ruby’s.

What the hell are you doing here?

Ruby could almost read Vanessa’s thoughts. She wanted to say it was a mistake, that it wouldn’t happen again. But she couldn’t. Daisy was standing right there, and now she was telling Vanessa about her plans for the gatehouse’s interior.

‘Sounds perfectly ghastly, darling,’ said Vanessa.

‘Well, Ruby
loved
the idea,’ said Daisy with a mulish smile, linking her arm through Ruby’s.

Oh God, let me just die now
, thought Ruby in anguish.

‘Does she?’ Vanessa’s smile was fixed. ‘Well, you know I do have rather traditional tastes, Daisy.’

‘Old-fashioned,’ joked Daisy.

‘Traditional,’ said Vanessa firmly. ‘Now, if you will excuse me . . . ?’

‘All right, we’re going, we’re going,’ tutted Daisy in fond irritation. ‘I’d hate to tear you away from the long border.’

As they walked arm in arm back to the house, Ruby glanced back;Vanessa was staring after them, and there was such hatred in her eyes that Ruby shuddered and looked quickly away.

Vanessa rejoined Ivan. She could feel herself trembling with rage.

How dare that woman come here!

‘What a stunning woman,’ said Ivan.

Vanessa looked at him, startled.

‘That woman,’ repeated Ivan, nodding towards Daisy and Ruby as they went back into the house. ‘So exotic.’

Vanessa couldn’t help glancing down at herself – at her cracked nails, her grubby gardening clothes. Ruby looked ten years younger than her actual age. And Vanessa knew she looked ten years
older
than hers. She snatched up the fork, her face set in fury.

‘Ivan, if you ever see her on this property again, then get her off it. Straight away. You understand?’

Ivan stared at his employer. He’d been with Vanessa for ever, and this was the first time he’d so much as heard her raise her voice. He was shocked.

‘Of course,’ he assured her.

‘Let’s get on with it then,’ she snapped, and plunged the fork savagely into the earth.

Cornelius felt the bile rise in his throat when he got the call from Vanessa. Angrily she told him what had happened, that Daisy had shown up with Ruby Darke. That
that woman
had the nerve to actually come to Vanessa’s home and stand there smirking at her.

‘You’re not serious,’ said Cornelius, incredulous.

‘Does it sound as if I’m joking?’Vanessa’s voice was bitter. ‘You told me this wasn’t going to happen. You said we had Daisy, and that was it. You paid Ruby Darke off and it would all be forgotten. But I’m telling you she was
here
, Cornelius. With
Daisy.
In my home.’