Nameless (43 page)

Bursting into
laughter again, Liz replied, “Got it. But you look great. Just right for this
kind of date.”

“Thanks for
babysitting tonight.”

“I’m happy to. Between
Seth and Stella, I almost never get the chance. Mac and I are going to have a
great time, and I brought my overnight stuff with me tonight, just in case.”

Erin almost choked
at the abrupt turn of conversation, as she realized what Liz was implying.
“We’re not about to...I mean, Seth isn't...I’m not going to...”

“Well, you
never know. And you
are
wearing your best undies. Did you shave?”

Erin
had
shaved, but that was absolutely irrelevant.

“So just in
case, I brought my overnight stuff. No need to even explain. If you don’t get
home until tomorrow morning, I’ll be the soul of discretion.”

To that, Erin
didn’t respond.

***

Erin had requested that she and Seth
go somewhere quiet and out of the way for dinner, so he took her to the
exclusive dining room at an expensive, historic inn just outside of the city.
They had plenty of privacy, and the service and food were excellent.

Seth had chosen
well.

Instead of the
reserved, considerate man he usually was around Mackenzie, Seth had turned on
his charming, cosmopolitan self. He offered Erin the best of everything all
evening—and that included himself as a suave and charismatic date. They drank
expensive wine, ate delectable food, dined amid lovely antiques and artwork.

And Erin had a
really good time.

Seth looked
incredibly attractive in all black, and there was nothing cool or distant about
him as they chatted and laughed through the evening. He wasn’t openly
flirtatious and didn’t act in any way that was blatantly romantic.

But, by the
time dinner was over, Erin felt like her head was spinning just the same.

It had been so
long since she’d been out like this. So long since she’d been on any date other
than the failed double date with Liz. And—even though her relationship with Seth
was somewhat precarious—it felt really good to once more act like an
attractive, single woman, who did things like go out on Saturday nights.

Erin thought
about Mackenzie on and off during the evening, but it never distracted her from
having a good time.

She did,
however, feel the need to call Liz to check in when she and Seth finally got up
after dinner. They wandered into the lobby of the inn, where Seth saw someone
he knew. So Erin murmured that she’d quickly call Liz, while he went to speak
to his acquaintance.

The dining room
had been a little stuffy, and the lobby was even more so, so Erin made her way
through the French doors off the lobby and out onto an empty balcony. The
balcony was large and high off the ground. It boasted an ornate railing, and
huge potted plants—so tall they towered over Erin’s head—were grouped in the
corners of the balcony near the building.

It was very
late autumn, but the night was unseasonably mild, so Erin didn’t even need a
jacket. She walked over to the railing and leaned against it. Looked down into
the dark gardens and lawns surrounding the inn. Took a deep, cleansing breath.

Then she called
Liz to see how Mackenzie was.

Evidently, Mackenzie
had been an angel all night and was now sound asleep. Since Liz didn’t sound
like she was about to scream, Erin had to assume everything at home was fine.

“You’re not on
your way back yet, are you?” Liz asked. “It’s only ten o’clock.”

“I don't know.
We’re kind of in the middle of nowhere. I’m not sure what else there is to do.”

Liz made a
strangled sound that Erin chose not to interpret.

“Anyway,” Erin
continued resolutely. “I was just calling to check on things.”

“Things are
great. I’m watching a marathon of decorating shows. I now have four possible
themes to decorate my bedroom with.”

“Sounds
delightful.”

“You’re having
a good time, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Erin
admitted. “I’m having a really good time.”

As she
disconnected the call, she heard a warm voice from behind her. “Well, that’s
good to know.”

Erin twitched
in surprise and looked over her shoulder to see Seth approaching to stand
behind her. “You’re very sneaky. I didn’t hear you come out.”

He smiled, and
something in his expression looked almost predatory. “I prefer the word
stealthy
to
sneaky
.”

She wanted to
grin, but she found herself shivering instead—an instinctive, involuntary
reaction to his look and the seductive quality of his voice.

Something
sparked alive inside her as she felt his strong, compelling presence behind her,
as his body brushed lightly against her back.

Feeling nervous
and unsettled, Erin looked forward again, stared at the dark sky, and prayed
she wouldn’t do or say anything stupid.

“Erin,” Seth
murmured. He must have bent his neck because his voice was right at her ear.

His breath
wafted over her sensitive skin and made her shudder again, from her spine to
her toes, and also to a place between her legs that was growing hotter by the second.
She clutched the railing with both hands and refused to look back at him. “What?”

He gently
nuzzled her hair and slipped one arm around her waist. “Erin,” he breathed
again. This time she could actually feel his lips moving against her ear.

She sucked in
an urgent breath and stiffened with confusion and anxiety. It had been months
since their relationship had included this kind of physicality. She’d started
feeling secure and content with the part of Seth that was Mackenzie’s father.

She’d forced
this side of Seth to the back of her mind, and she wasn’t sure she was ready
for its sudden appearance.

“What?” she
said again, her voice even shriller than before. Her cheeks burned and her
knees shook and something almost forgotten pulsed between her legs.

“Are you
actually going to pretend you’re not feeling anything?” His hand lightly rubbed
her belly, although she wasn’t pregnant anymore.

Erin tried to
pull herself together. She was a grown woman. She knew how to handle situations
like this. “Of course I feel something. We’ve always been attracted to each
other, and you’re really turning on the charm tonight.”

“Is it
working?” He gently moved aside her hair so his lips could trace down the back
of her neck.

She was shivering
again, the tremors starting low in her spine. Her knuckles whitened as they
gripped at the railing. “A little bit. Who can resist Seth Thomas when he turns
on the sex-god act?”

He let out a
breath. She could feel it blow against her warm skin. “Can
you
?”

“Am I attracted
to you? Of course. But I don’t think we should—”

Before she
could finish, Seth turned her around so she faced him. He kept his arms draped
around her, though, so she was trapped in his embrace. “Erin,” he said, his
voice now blunt and matter-of-fact—no longer sexy or alluring. “How long are
you going to keep denying that your feelings for me are changing?”

Her mouth
dropped open. She was still physically responding to him, but now her heart also
lurched in her chest. “Seth, you have to understand. Yes, we’ve gotten closer.
Yes, we’re building up the trust between us again. But that doesn’t mean—”

“I
do
understand.”

Her face
twisted, and something heavy clenched in her gut. “I don’t know that you really
do. If it was just sex, that would be different. But it can’t just be that
anymore. I care about you a lot, Seth. And, of course, I’m attracted to you. If
we were just dating, then I’d probably think things were going well.” She put a
hand on his chest, to emphasize her urgency. “But we’re
not
just dating.
We’re...far beyond that now. And, unless things have changed, you can’t be
casual about this. You can charm the pants off me if you want, but it still
won’t make me lo—”

“Don’t,” Seth
interrupted, his voice slightly gruff. Something had changed in his eyes. “You
don’t have to say it.”

Erin slumped
against him. “I’m sorry. I know how nice it would be if we could just jump into
some sort of happy ending. But I can’t force myself to lo—” This time, she cut
off the word herself. Realized that hearing her say it would hurt Seth.

And she really
didn’t want to do that.

They were
silent for a minute, until Erin felt the tension relax in Seth’s body. He
tilted up her chin until she was looking into his eyes. “Erin,” he began, the
heat flaring up in his eyes again. The momentary angst was entirely gone. “I
think you’re making this more complicated than it has to be. I’m not saying you
need to fall for me overnight, but you’re stressing so much about it that you
can’t even enjoy what we
do
have together.”

She opened her
mouth in an automatic objection, but he kept speaking before she could get any
words out.

“We’re good
together. I’ve never had better sex than the times I’ve been with you. And I
enjoy just being with you.”

“But...” she
began, a kind of panic now vying with the beginnings of her arousal.

Seth shook his
head. Looked calm, confident, handsome, charming—not remotely vulnerable or
hurt. “Why can’t we just enjoy what we
do
have together? And then see if
anything else happens to develop.”

This time, when
Erin opened her mouth, she didn’t have a word to say. She didn’t have an
answer.

She wanted him
physically—that much was clear—but she also didn’t want to hurt him.

He was a
mature, intelligent man, though. And he was asking for this. How was she
supposed to decide what would hurt him the least?

“Seth,” she
said at last, her hand fisting in his black shirt. “What if nothing develops?”

He leaned down.
Breathed his response just above her lips. “But what if it does?”

Her lips parted,
and she stared up at him. Felt heat coursing through her. Felt like her heart
might beat its way out of her chest.

For a moment,
she caught a glimpse of something in his eyes: something deep and molten and unspeakable.

Then she
couldn’t see anything at all. Because he was kissing her, and her eyes had
fallen closed. Her breasts pressed into the hard line of his chest, and her hands
wound around his neck before she could begin to stop them. Her tongue darted
out to meet his, and her mouth became urgent and hungry.

She breathed
desperately through her nose, taking in the familiar scent of him. His arms
moved around her tightly, one hand sliding down to her ass.

She moaned into
his mouth, flooded with waves of sensation. She felt like she was devouring
him. Felt like he was devouring her.

Then she heard
him make a sound in his throat—guttural, involuntary, deeply sexy.

And she wanted
him so much it terrified her.

She turned her
head to the side, abruptly pulling out of the kiss. She still clung to him,
however, afraid her knees might buckle otherwise.

“Erin?” Seth
asked. He was panting just as much as she was, and his whole body was burning
up.

“That was
really good, but I’m afraid of doing something on impulse that we’ll both
regret later.”

He was quiet
for a moment. Seemed to be distancing himself, although he didn’t move at all.
“I won’t regret it.”

“But maybe I
will,” she whispered, finally finding the courage to look up at his face again.
His expression was mild, but shuttered, and it made something ache in her
belly. “I just need to think about it a little more.”

He released
her, and she crossed her arms over her chest, hugging herself. He was tense and
silent for a moment until he relaxed. Then he almost smiled. “All right. Think
all you want.”

Erin felt a
little better when his irony and easy charm returned. She returned his smile.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re rather pompous?”

Seth chuckled
and put a companionable hand on her back as they moved toward the French doors.
“Actually, I think you’re the only person who’s ever told me that.”

“Well, then it
definitely bears repeating.” As she looked in through the glass panes on the
doors back into the lobby, Erin jerked to a stop. “Shit.”

Seth looked
down at her in concern. “What is it?”

“That’s Mary
Carlyle,” Erin hissed, keeping her voice low, as though it could be heard
through the doors. “She runs that blog. You know the one.”

Seth stiffened
slightly beside her. “I thought this place was supposed to be exclusive.”

“If we walk in there
now, then our picture might end up online tomorrow, along with a ridiculous
story about our hidden, torrid affair and our secret love child.” She darted a
look up at Seth. “She’d definitely recognize me and put some sort of
melodramatic story together. She was in the same journalism program as Liz, and
she hates her because Liz got the editor’s position instead of her.”

“Why don’t we
just stay out here until she clears the lobby?”

Relieved that
he agreed with her—and that he didn’t think she was overreacting—Erin stepped
back from the door, pulling him with her. “Good plan.”

From a vantage
point mostly out of sight, Erin peered into the lobby. “That’s her husband. She
must not be working—that’s a good sign.”

“Indeed.”

Something in
his voice sounded suspicious, and her suspicions were confirmed when she saw
that Seth’s lips had tightened. “Stop laughing at me. This is serious.”

“I know, but you
seem to be enjoying the subterfuge so much.”

Erin decided
the best response to this insolence would be disdainful silence—mostly because
she couldn’t think of an appropriate reply. But when she looked into the lobby
again, she leapt back, releasing an embarrassing little squeak. “She’s coming
this way.”