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Authors: Penelope Ashe,Mike McGrady

Tags: #Parodies, #Humor, #Fiction

Naked Came the Stranger (27 page)

BOOK: Naked Came the Stranger
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EXCERPT FROM "THE BILLY & GILLY SHOW," JULY 18TH

Gilly: Well, Billy, I see we're coming to the end
of our last show, our last show before our vacation. Four glorious
weeks to ourselves. just the two of us. Then, when we come back,
well… shall we tell them?

Billy: I don't see why not, darling.

Gilly: I never could keep a secret – but you knew that
when you married me. We're moving again! That's right, the next time
you hear this program, we'll be right back where we belong, right
back in a lovely new apartment here in midtown Manhattan.

Billy: That's right, darling. But don't you think we owe our
listeners a little explanation? It seems only yesterday –
golly, I guess it was just about a year ago – that we announced
we were moving out of the city and into suburbia, into our new home
in King's Neck.

Gilly: Yes, I suppose an explanation would be germane to
– oh, don't frown, sweetheart, everyone knows that means
relevant. And I suppose an explanation would be relevant
here.

Billy: As our listeners must know by now – they certainly
hear it often enough – the purpose of this show is to look at
marriage "in the crucible of modern living." Gilly: Well put,
darling.

Billy: And what better crucible than suburbia? For us, and I
hope for our listeners, it has been a valuable year, a year of
experimentation, an opportunity to look at…. Gilly: Yes, dear,
all that is true enough, but we may as well admit it hasn't all been
sweetness and light. In fact, just the other day we both seemed to
notice at the same time what has been happening in King's Neck. One
marriage after another has crumbled, just gone up in
smoke….

Billy: I think you're mixing your metaphors, darling….
Gilly: Anyway, we both noticed that our neighborhood is beginning to
look like a ghost town. It seems as though there's a FOR SALE sign in
front of every home. Billy: Not that we regret having lived in King's
Neck. It was, as I was saying a moment ago, a splendid opportunity to
examine some of the forces that tend to twist and pry apart
marriages. And nowhere do you see these forces as clearly as in
suburbia.

Gilly: The pressures are simply terrific. The husbands and
wives of King's Neck are, in a sense, separated. Not legally
separated – but they certainly go their separate ways from
morning to night. I've had many talks with the housewives of King's
Neck and I've never see so many frustrated females in one place.
There is the constant striving for material goods – new cars,
new swimming pools – and somewhere along the way they seem to
have lost sight of spiritual values. The effect this can have on a
marriage can be simply devastating.

Billy: I think we can count ourselves among the lucky
ones….

Gilly: In all fairness, Billy, it isn't just luck. To make a
marriage work – and how often we've said this! – people
have to work at it.

Billy: I couldn't agree with you more wholeheartedly, darling.
And I think we might add something else here. The first thing a
person notices about a suburb such as King's Neck is the
rootlessness. And with that, the restlessness. People all too often
tend to turn their backs on tradition, tend to forget the valuable
lessons that have been carefully preserved and handed down by past
generations.

Gilly: I hope you're not going to say something as, well, basic
as, "The family that prays together stays together."…

Billy: But maybe….

Gilly: Perhaps, after all, it is something basic and simple.
But maybe it goes something like this: The family that stays together
stays together. I realize many of our listeners will feel that
togetherness is just a little on the corny side. But I think we can
say that togetherness has always been important to us.

Billy: Indeed it has, darling. Well, I see our time is running
out….

Gilly: Remember, our address may be a new one, but we'll be
back at this same spot in just four weeks.

Billy: So you be thinking about us because….

Gilly: We'll be thinking about you.

BOOK: Naked Came the Stranger
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