MYTH-Interpretations: The Worlds of Robert Asprin (30 page)

"You may be right. You may indeed be above the law, but if there is a god—any god—watching, over us now, the time is not far off when your sword will miss and we'll be rid of you. Justice is a natural process. It can't be swayed for long by a prince's whims."

"Don't call upon the gods unless you're ready to accept their interference." Tempus grimaced. "You'd do well to heed that warning from one who knows."

Before Zalbar could react, Razkuli was lunging forward, his slim wrist-dagger darting for Tempus' throat. It was too late for the Hell Hound captain to intervene either physically or verbally, but then Tempus did not seem to require outside help.

Moving with lazy ease, Tempus slapped his left hand over the speeding point, his palm taking the full impact of Razkuli's vengeance. The blade emerged from the back of his hand and blood spurted freely for a moment, but Tempus seemed not to notice. A quick wrench with the already wounded hand and the knife was twisted from Razkuli's grip. Then Tempus' right hand closed like a vise on the throat of his dumbfounded attacker, lifting him, turning him, slamming him against a wall and pinning him there with his toes barely touching the floor.

"Tempus!" Zalbar barked, his friend's danger breaking through the momentary paralysis brought on by the sudden explosion of action.

"Don't worry, Captain," Tempus responded in a calm voice. "If you would be so kind?"

He extended his bloody hand toward Zalbar and the tall Hell Hound gingerly withdrew the dagger from the awful wound. As the knife came clear, the clotting ooze of blood erupted into a steady stream. Tempus studied the scarlet cascade with distaste, then thrust his hand against Razkuli's face.

"Lick it, dog," he ordered. "Lick it clean, and be thankful I don't make you lick the floor as well!"

Helpless and fighting for each breath, the pinned man hesitated only a moment before extending his tongue in a feeble effort to comply with the demand. Quickly impatient, Tempus wiped his hand in a bloody smear across Razkuli's face and mouth, then he examined his wound again.

As Zalbar watched, horrified, the seepage from the wound slowed from flow to trickle and finally to a slow ooze—all in the matter of seconds.

Apparently satisfied with the healing process, Tempus turned dark eyes to his captain. "Every dog gets one bite—but the next time your pet crosses me, I'll take him down and neither you nor the prince will be able to stop me."

With that he wrenched Razkuli from the wall and dashed him to the floor at Zalbar's feet. With both Hell Hounds held motionless by his brutality, he strode from the room without a backward glance.

The suddenness and intensity of the exchange had shocked even Zalbar's battlefield reflexes into immobility, but with Tempus' departure, control flooded back into his limbs as if he had been released from a spell. Kneeling beside his friend, he hoisted Razkuli into a sitting position to aid his labored breathing.

"Don't try to talk," he ordered, reaching to wipe the blood smear from Razkuli's face, but the grasping man jerked his head back and forth, refusing both the order and the help.

Gathering his legs under him, the short Hell Hound surged to his feet and retained the upright position, though he had to cling to the wall for support. For several moments, his head sagged weakly as he drew breath in long ragged gasps, then he lifted his gaze to meet Zalbar's.

"I must kill him. I cannot
.
.
.
live in the same world and
.
.
.
breathe the same air with one who
.
.
.
shamed me so
.
.
.
and still call myself a man."

For a moment, Razkuli swayed as if speaking had drained him of all energy, then he carefully lowered himself onto a bench, propping his back against the wall.

"I must kill him," he repeated, his voice steadying. "Even if it means fighting you."

"You won't have to fight me, my friend," Zalbar sat beside him, "instead accept me as a partner. Tempus must be stopped, and I fear it will take both of us to do it. Even then we may not be enough."

The swarthy Hell Hound nodded in slow agreement. "Perhaps if we acquired one of those hellish weapons that have been causing so much trouble in the Maze?" he suggested.

"I'd rather bed a viper. From the reports I've heard they cause more havoc for the wielder than for the victim. No, the plan I have in mind is of an entirely different nature."

The bright flowers danced gaily in the breeze as Zalbar finished his lunch. Razkuli was not guarding his back today: that individual was back at the barracks enjoying a much earned rest after their night's labors. Though he shared his friend's fatigue, Zalbar indulged himself with this last pleasure before retiring.

"You sent for me, Hell Hound?"

Zalbar didn't need to turn his head to identify his visitor. He had been watching him from the corner of his eyes throughout his dusty approach.

"Sit down, Jubal," he instructed. "I thought you'd like to hear about my investigations."

"It's about time," the slaver grumbled, sinking to the ground. "It's been a week—I was starting to doubt the seriousness of your pledge. Now, tell me why you couldn't find the killer."

The Hell Hound ignored the sneer in Jubal's voice. "Tempus is the killer, just as you said," he answered casually.

"You've confirmed it? When is he being brought to trial?"

Before Zalbar could answer a terrible scream broke the calm afternoon. The Hell Hound remained unmoved, but Jubal spun toward the sound. "What was that?" he demanded.

"That," Zalbar explained, "is the noise a man makes when Kurd goes looking for knowledge."

"But I thought
.
.
.
I swear to you, this is not my doing!"

"Don't worry about it, Jubal." The Hell Hound smiled and waited for the slaver to sit down again. "You were asking about Tempus' trial?"

"That's right," the black man agreed, though visibly shaken.

"He'll never come to trial."

"Because of that?" Jubal pointed to the house. "I can stop.
.
.
."

"Will you be quiet and listen! The court will never see Tempus because the prince protects him. That's why I hadn't investigated him before your complaint!"

"Royal protection!" the slaver spat. "So he's free to hunt my people still."

"Not exactly." Zalbar indulged in an extravagant yawn.

"But you said.
.
.
."

"I said I'd deal with him, and in your words ‘it's done.' Tempus won't be reporting for duty today
.
.
.
or ever."

Jubal started to ask something, but another scream drowned out his words. Surging to his feet he glared at Kurd's house. "I'm going to find out where that slave came from, and when I do.
.
.
."

"It came from me, and if you value your people you won't insist on his release."

The slaver turned to gape at the seated Hell Hound. "You mean.
.
.
."

"Tempus," Zalbar nodded. "Kurd told me of a drug he used to subdue his slaves, so I got some from Stulwig and put it in my comrade's
krrf
. He almost woke up when we branded him
.
.
.
but Kurd was willing to accept my little peace offering with no questions asked. We even cut out his tongue as an extra measure of friendship."

Another scream came—a low animal moan which lingered in the air as the two men listened.

"I couldn't ask for a more fitting revenge," Jubal said at last, extending his hand. "He'll be a long time dying."

"If he dies at all," Zalbar commented, accepting the handshake. "He heals very fast, you know."

With that the two men parted company, mindless of the shrieks that followed them.

The Capture

Robert Lynn Asprin

to COMCON from AE449 subject MISSOBJ priority III

have arrived position System ST883-P4
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as expected inhabitants have failed to quarantine regular pick-up area
.
.
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have

detected surface vessel
.
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no detectable support or defense in immediate area
.
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.
request permission to proceed with capture
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.
.
ET

to AE449 from COMCON

proceed with mission as ordered
.
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handle with care
.
.
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they are an easily excited species
.
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good luck
.
.
.
ET

to COMCON from AE449 subject MISSPROG priority III

target vessel in our possession
.
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no incident interference
.
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SPECNOTE
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capture performed while vess-occ still awake after delay
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reported sleep patterns not in evidence
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no sign of alarm
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request permission to delay indoctrination until further examination has been completed
.
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ET

to COMCON from AE449 subject MISSPROG priority II

vess-occ not following anticipated behavior patterns
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repeat
.
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not normal
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request permission to alter indoctrination
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.
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ET

to AE449 from COMCON

explain
.
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ET

to COMCON from AE449 subject REQEXP priority II

prog of indoc
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Q1 DO ANY OF YOU READ SCIENCE FICTION?
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Expected answer
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vague bewilderment
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Actual Answer
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snickers and growls
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Q2 WOULD YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE BEEN CAPTURED BY AN ALIEN VESSEL?
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Expected
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disbelief and terror
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Actual
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cheers, hugging and kissing
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indoc cancelled pending further instruction from COMCON
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repeat
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abnormal behavior
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repeat
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request permission to alter indoctrination procedure
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ET

to AE449 from COMCON

permission granted
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do not return COLLPT until investigation complete
.
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repeat
.
.
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hold position until normality is observed or explanation for abnormality has been found
.
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advise COMCON of prog
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ET

to COMCON from AE449 subject INVPROG priority III

vess-occ claim to be normal physically, abnormal mentally
.
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MEDREP confirms
.
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EXCEP
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one MALESUBJ
.
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claims to be a Gremlin
.
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other vess-occ concur
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no rec on Com Files of RELIG, SOC, NAT, or RACE group known as Gremlins
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please scan Mstr File and inform
.
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ET

to AE449 from COMCON

GREMLIN file under LEG
.
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small, red-faced, mischievous, non-existent beings
.
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repeat
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non-existent
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so inform MALESUBJ
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ET

to COMCON from AE449 subject GREMLIN priority III

have informed MALESUBJ
.
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claims he does not exist either
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other vess-occ concur
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please advise
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ET

to AE449 from COMCON

Gremlins do not exist
.
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therefore he does not exist
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ignore him
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ET

to COMCON from AE449 subject INFOREQ priority II

can Gremlins draw
.
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ET

to AE449 from COMCON

Gremlins do not exist
.
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do not use Trans Gear for Unauth Messg
.
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ET

to COMCON from AE449 subject PROCREQ priority III

Gremlin is drawing mural on wall of CAPRM
.
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requests more Cobalt Blue
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please advise
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ET

to AE449 COMCON

what is Gremlin drawing
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ET

to COMCON from AE449 subject REQUINFO priority III

Gremlins do not exist
.
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do not use Trans Gear for Unauth Messg
.
.
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ET

to AE449 from COMCON

report INVPROG IMMEDIATELY
.
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ET

to COMCON from AE449 subject INVPROG prog III