My Sweet Dessert: The Brothers of Devil's Comfort Series 2 Book 2 (17 page)

Crabby
.

For all of five minutes, I hated you and that hateful letter you sent. Yet, deep within me, I knew you never meant a word of what you wrote. You wouldn’t be so cruel. My love for you may appear to be childish and immature, however, I can assure you it isn’t. You and I are meant to be together.

We are soul mates. Our hearts, are forged together by the fires of our untried passion. As simple as a breeze on a summer’s afternoon, we are meant to be one. Without you I cannot breathe, and each day, when you deny who we are, a small part of me withers away.

When you are at your lowest, in your darkest moment. All I wish for, is to be there, to hold you in my arms. To breathe life into your lost soul.

I don’t plan to give up on us Crabby, and I believe you shouldn’t either. 

All my love Apple-Pie xx

Sweet Apple-Pie.

Come visit and talk to me. Let me hear your voice. To see your shy smile. The glow in your eyes. To smell your scent and close my eyes as I dream of you.

Tell me of your days in the bayou. Do you still swim in our spot? Who watches you as you glide through the water? How I miss the smell of the leaves, the touch of the wind. Never will I take my freedom so lightly.

I miss the roads Apple-Pie. On my first day of freedom, that’s what we will do. We’ll take the Harley and celebrate. I bet you’d like that. I know I will. Just you, the open roads and me. There’ll be nothing to stop us. I cry for my freedom Apple-Pie. For the day when it’s just you and me.

There’s so much I want to say, but that’s going to be just between you and me.

See you soon.

Love Crabby xxx

Dearest Crabby

It may have been some time since we last spoke. Yet in the early mornings, when I’m unable to sleep, it’s you I’m thinking of. It’s your voice I hear. As I lie here in my bed, I want you to know what you do for me. How you inspire and bring out the best in me. You show me a side of myself, I would never see on my own.

You make me proud of who I am. With you, I am beautiful from the inside out, only because you help me to believe in myself. You bring luster when day are cloudy. When days are grey, you give me rainbows.

You know me better than I know myself and lift my spirits with your gentle smile. You calm my heart with your tender words. You are my safe harbor from the storms. You are my todays, my tomorrows, my hopes, and dreams. Without you, my life would not be the same. You are my soul and I love you.

Write to me soon Crabby. Give me a piece of you to keep me strong until the day you are free.

Love

Apple- Pie. xxx

Sweet Apple Pie

Sometimes when I lay on my bunk in the early hours, I convince myself that calling you on your birthday was a mistake. The sound of your sweet voice, a cold reminder of what I am missing, when all I have to look at are these grey walls. And big Colin, my cellmate, figure is not a patch on yours. When I close my eyes, and I see your image I have to remind myself I’m not embellishing your curves, as the photograph you sent so long ago no longer does you any justice.

Twiggy came to visit today and he tells me there may be trouble in Comfort Springs soon. If he is right about this, I want you to take a step back from Devils Comfort and concentrate on your studies. Although my release date is near, and soon we will be together, while I am behind these walls, I am worried if anything was to happen to you I wouldn’t be there to help you.

I had promised myself that with my release dates so near I could wait to see you. However, I find this to be untrue and although it goes against everything I want, I enclose a visiting order. I know it is short notice, but I do hope you can make it. I need to see your sunny smile. I crave for the touch of your skin, to count the beat of your pulse. I hunger after the scent of your flesh, the whisper of your breath as it trails across my throat. Knowing you are there, waiting for me, keeps me strong and the bleak nights at bay.

Dream of me my dark lady as I dream of you.

Love Crabby xxx

Dearest Crabby

I went outside today. The sun may have scorched through the thin top I was wearing. Yet I didn’t care. Do you want to know why I didn’t care? Because I had glanced at the calendar Crabby and my heart burst.

Three weeks. That’s all there is between you and me. Three weeks until I can touch your skin. Feel your breath on me. There’ll be no one to watch us, to criticize us, or to stand in our way.

So you see Crabby the sun doesn’t bother me today. For today I welcome its heat. A sweet reminder of the freedom you have been denied, but will soon feel again.

As the sun shone down, I let go of my resentment. My resentment of the MC, of the other bikers. My resentment as to why was it you, who had been locked away.

The years have been lonely with you where you are. Each morning I’d wake, only to run downstairs to see if the post has been delivered. Eager to know if there was a letter for me from you. Most morning, disappointment would assault me as there wouldn’t be anything from you. The letter box empty.

Yet on the days your letters do arrive, I would skip, no that’s not right, I would practically run to our place.

First I would just stare at the envelope. Sniffing it. And though there was no scent, I could smell you. Your image would rise up before me. Pale blue eyes would be laughing down at me.

Then I’d carefully open the letter. There is no tearing at the edges. No, I would carefully slide my finger through the edges. Gently pushing at the glue until it gave way.

Then carefully, I would draw the letter from its enclosure. Open the folds slowly, then spread the letter out before me. Running my fingers over you scrawny writing, imagining you lips moving as you wrote to me.

From my pocket, I would extract a peppermint cream, popping it into my mouth as I leant against our tree. My first reading is swift. My second is slower. My third, would have me rolling my tongue over every word you have written. Savoring them as I memorized them.

Then carefully, I would refold the letter before placing it back in the government issue envelope. Then I’d gaze out at the bayou. And in my head, I count the days until you will be sat here with me.

Soon Crabby there will be no more letters. Just you and me.

Love you.

Your very own Apple-Pie.

“Emily you can change your mind.”

“No.”

I have been waiting for this visit for nearly two years. A wait, which had left me unhappy with Crabby’s attitude. It was unfair to make me wait, until I was sixteen, before allowing me my first visit to the prison. Sometimes, I would read Crabby’s letters, and wondered, if Tabby was behind the refusals. It had taken forever for my sixteenth birthday to arrive. A birthday, which as far as I was concerned, had not come round quick enough. Each letter Crabby sent, I have read several times over. Some were short others were long. The worst times, were when Crabby didn’t write for ages. Times, he said he was unavailable. 

The closer we approached the prison, the more my head would spin. Since leaving Comfort Springs, my nails, which I had had painted, were now chipped at the tip, from where I had chewed them. My hands and the backs of my knees were clammy, and for the umpteenth time, I reached for the deodorant, and sprayed the car.

“Really, Emily, are you trying to gas me.”

“Sorry.”

I was not sorry, I just wanted Tabby to be quiet. I loved Tabby and I loved my nephew, but he was an old man. What would he know of passion? Ugh, the thought of Tabby and Rayven churned my stomach.

As we approached the prison, the massive gates came closer, and I became aware of how beige and barren the landscape is. The parking lot was packed with vehicles of all descriptions. As Tabby guided me through security, he kept his body close to mine. Before we reached the main building, we had to take a further small bus journey and go through another security check, where we were sniffed by dogs. I would have been surprised, if the dogs were able to smell anything, with the amount of deodorant I had used. Finally, we were led to the communal area, which was packed with prisoners and their families. The room reminded me of the school cafeteria, and again the walls were bare.

Quickly I scanned the room and found Crabby. His hair was shaved close to his head, his long locks long gone. The left cheek was discolored and his eye was slightly swollen. At my hesitation, Tabby gave me a gentle push in my back. I had made it this far, I could make it the rest of the way.

No one had told me, that at sixteen, love could hurt like this. As if a vice was holding on to the part of me that gave me breath.  Rayven would say, that I was infatuated with Crabby’s bad boy persona. That I was not in love. That I was too young, to know what love was. She was wrong. For me, Crabby was everything.

“Hi”

“Hi.”

I had to swallow the saliva, which was gathering in my mouth. My fingers twisting, because I was unsure what to do with them. I wanted to throw my arms around Crabby. To press my body close to his. But I could not. Tabby had forbidden any contact. And if I wanted to see Crabby again, I had to follow his rules. If I did not, Tabby would not hesitate to cut our visit short. Time with Crabby was too precious for me to ruin it. When Crabby pointed to the bench behind the table, I sat down and stared at him.

I was here in person. In the flesh, and for the first time in my life, I was tongue tied. While I sat and gawked at the man I loved. Tabby spoke to Crabby in a low tone. I made no attempt to listen to the conversation, as club business held no interest to me. Besides, I knew better than to eves drop when club matters were being discussed.

Bored with the conversation, which was going on, I gave a throaty cough to gain Crabby’s attention. A tactic which worked when Crabby turned his gaze to me. The hard look, which had been present when we arrived, softening, as the flesh crinkled around his eyes, as his smile broke, causing my toes to curl. Come on girl, get a grip and stop acting like a fool.

“Hi.”

Tabby’s stare took in the both of us, and his body came in a little closer to mine. Unhappy with how close, Tabby had placed himself, I inched away, putting a small gap between our bodies.

Nerves had me wetting my lips, and as Crabby continued to stare, my stomach began to churn, sending waves of giddiness through me.

“What happened to your face?”

I wanted to reach out and stroke the bruises, and before I knew what I was doing, my hand, was stretched out across the table. A quiet cough to my right, and a hand grabbing my wrist, brought me back to reality, and quickly I dropped my arm down to my leg, linking my fingers together under the table.

Crabby’s fingers reached up to his face and paused over the cut and swelling.

“A little altercation Apple-Pie. Nothing for you to be concerned about.”

Indignant anger surged through me. How dare he talk to me as if I am a child.

“Of course I’m concerned Crabby. They could have cancelled the visit.”

“Only they didn’t.”

About to open my mouth, I changed my mind. I was not going to let Crabby spoil my first visit, by having a fight with him. It was bad enough that Tabby was tagging along, and had not moved from my side, when all I wanted was some alone time with Crabby.

“You need to look after yourself Crabby. You’ve lost weight.”

“I needed to lose a couple of pounds’ babe.”

“Don’t call me babe.”

Babe made me sound like one of his other women. And I was not. I wanted to be someone special to him, and when he called me Apple-Pie, I knew I meant something to him.

Crabby, flashed his smile at me again. The one, which made me clench parts of my body, which were being assaulted with foreign sensations.

“Sorry Emily, I’ll not do it again.”

“Apple-Pie.” I whispered.

“What?”

“Call me Apple-Pie.”

Tabby’s shuffling body and cough, reminded me that we were not alone. Annoyed with Tabby’s attitude, I scowled at him, which only appeared to make him laugh.

“Apple-Pie, it is then.”

My visit with Crabby, was coming to an end and I hadn’t said much. A majority of the time I had simply stared at Crabby, craving to touch his body. To feel his flesh. Is his skin soft or coarse? Unable to hold back any longer, I dropped my gaze to his hands. Crabby had large hands. His nails were short, barely coming to the tip of his fingers. The skin on his knuckles, was broken from the fight he had been in. I knew if I asked about the fight, he would not divulge what had happened.

“Tommy’s taking me to the cinema this weekend. It was Tabby’s idea.”

Tabby’s body went stiff next to mine as Crabby raised his eyebrow, an indulgent smile spreading across his face. This wasn’t the reaction I was expecting, or wanted. I wanted Crabby to be jealous. For him to know that I had a life. That I could manage without him.

“I’m sure you’ll have a good time.”

“Does it not bother you that I’m going out with someone? That your brothers, want me to date other boys”

“You’re still a child Emily. Free to do, whatever you desire. I haven’t asked you to wait for me. Have I?”

Why was Crabby being like this, especially in front of Tabby? I had to beg Tabby, to let me come on this visit. Was that not one of the reasons, for this stupid date with Tommy? Another one of Tabby’s stipulations, I had to bow down too, to come on this visit. Doesn’t Crabby realize, how many sacrifices I have made?

I was not going to cry, blinking back the tears, which were building up in my throat, I took a deep swallow and released my breath.

“Don’t you care about me Crabby?”

“Em”

“Shut up Tabby. This is between Crabby and me.”

I knew without Tabby having to say anything, that I was going to have to pay for my behavior on the way home. However, I refused to apologize. This visit was not going how I had anticipated. I had not expected declarations of love from Crabby. I am not sure what I had expected, now that I thought about it. Maybe if Tabby had left us to be on our own, the visit would have been successful.

“Emily, I do care about you. Shit, Apple-Pie, I’m stuck in here for the next three years and you. Well, you’re outside, growing up. Try your wings Apple-Pie, and fly. No regrets.”

Apple-Pie, I was Apple-Pie again, and I could forgive Crabby anything, when he called me Apple-Pie.

“I only want to fly for you Crabby. And I don’t care what anybody thinks, says or does. I’ll always be here for you.’’

I had made a mistake. Prison was no place for a young girl. When Emily had first appeared in the doorway, the frightened look, as fleeting as it had been, had made me regret my decision to invite her here. For two years, I had waited for this moment. It had not been easy to ignore her pleas to come and visit, but I had managed. And here she was.

The last time I had seen Emily she had been a child. Until her appearance today. I hadn’t realized how much of a child she had been. Tabby should have made her wear different clothing. The black denims, were too tight and too low on her hips. The T-shirt she wore, rode up when she moved, flashing the flat stomach. I had sat in my place and watched as every pervert in the room had looked at her. The guards hadn’t been any better, following her pert ass as she sauntered over to me.

I had wanted to shout. To tell them all that she was mine. But I could not. Not for another year, could I claim Emily as mine. Time was slow in here, and as I waited for Emily to grow, I was becoming impatient to put my mark on her.

When it came to women, I had been a late developer, and when I joined Devils Comforts, they had been in abundance for my use. I had indulged and made a glutton of myself on the available pussy, at the club and at Tie Me Down.

Emily’s brilliant blue eyes gazed at me, all eager and hope shone from them. In her innocence, she had not hidden, her infatuation for me. Emily said she loved me, but did she know what passion was. She was just becoming a woman, discovering who she was, and I have to let her free.

As soon as she had smiled, my resolve had melted. Tabby had sent his warning. I still bore the marks of that meeting on my stomach, where Emily would not be able to see them. Tabby’s new attitude amused me. Before Rayven had come into his life, he had been a player, living up to his name. As Tabby reached over to greet me, the hug and handshake, were firmer than they needed to be.

“Is this place treating you well Crabby?”

With a slight bob of my head, I let Tabby know that everything was fine. Over his shoulder, I took in another look of Emily, as she sat on the bench. Her fingers twiddling as she laced and unlaced them.

“I mean it Apple – Pie. Go out there and live. A great deal can happen in three years.”

My head is pounding. I did not want to tell Emily to go and find a boyfriend. I wanted her to go home, to lock herself in her room and throw away the key, till I was free to claim what was mine. Tabby’s eyes have never moved from me, and under the table, his foot was pressed against mine. Occasionally, there would be a slight tap on my ankle. Tabby the Biker was keeping me in check and I couldn’t do anything, but defer to him.

Twelve months, I repeated to myself. That’s all I had to wait. Twelve months I could verbally claim what is mine. In thirty-six months I would be a free man to claim what was mine and mark her.

Emily was talking about school and her upcoming prom. When she mentioned Sundance’s name I froze.

“Sundance is doing what?”

“He’s taking me to my prom.”

My hand curled under the table. I wanted to knock of the smug look on Tabby’s face. Why I felt this twinge of jealousy I don’t know. Because I sure as hell, bet that Sundance had been put through the same ringer as me.

Was Emily aware that Sundance was drawn to her? Sundance is my brother.