My Sweet Demise (Demise #1) (28 page)

“He does make me smile.”

“When does he make you smile? Seriously. Tell me.”

I look down at my hands. “He’s too busy turning me on to make me smile. But he still does it. He makes me feel sexy and wanted, like maybe I’m not trapped in my life.” I blubber openly. “But mostly he makes me feel alive.”

Her mouth is hanging open. “You’re going crazy over this guy. Look at you. This isn’t right. This is Mom and Dad,” she adds.

I am nothing but tears and snot. She holds my hand as I cover my face with the other. “What do I do?”

“You leave him.”

“I can’t. We’re trying. And I don’t want to.” I feel like I’ve admitted something bad. “I don’t want to leave him alone. I want him.”

“What do you mean you’re trying?”

“He’s trying to be better. No more other women, no more punishing them. He’s trying for me. So am I. But I’m really not trying. I can’t trust him at all.”

“You don’t trust anyone. It isn’t just him.”

“I know. That’s what I’m supposed to fix. Every time I try there’s another woman, another truth, another horrible side of him. And it isn’t like I didn’t know. I knew exactly what I was doing when I fell for him.”

“Is he really trying? I don’t believe it. He’s so filthy.” She sounds disgusted. “How could he get you?”

How could I get him?

“I need a drink,” I admit. I pull my visor down, cringing at myself. “Did you bring any makeup with you?”

She opens her purse and takes out a makeup bag. I dry my face and slather it with foundation, hiding my tear stains and bruises.

“Well, how was it?”

“What?” I ask, pausing to glance at her.

“Sex.”

“Oh.” I bite my lip before smearing her balm over the cut. “It hurt, but he was so gentle and sweet.”

“Gentle? Sure.” I glare at her. “Did you come?”

My cheeks give the pink blush I applied competition. “Twice.”

“Twice?” She laughs and pats my thigh. “At least he’s good in bed.”

“Good?” I scoff. “He’s amazing.”

“He’s had enough practice.”

Her comment pisses me off. I shove her makeup back in the bag and hand it to her. “Let’s go, Rebecca.”

The restaurant isn’t busy and we’re seated immediately near the window with a clear shot of the busy street. The sun shines right onto our booth. It’s like looking into a mirror except for our hair. Her green and brown eyes look almost gold in the sun. Becca’s always been stunning.

When the waiter arrives he gives her a close look and a smile. “Anything to drink, ladies?”

“A double whiskey,” I blurt out. “And a beer, please.”

Becca gapes at me. “Um, I’ll have a Bud Light Lime.” When the waiter leaves she frowns. “Since when do you drink whiskey?”

“Since now.” I rip open my silverware and line it from tallest to smallest. It’s easier than looking at her. “I have to work tonight.”

“I’ll find something to do. Where will I be sleeping?”

“In my room.”

“With you?” she guesses.

I don’t know what to say. “Yes…” I’m not sure if Kent is still willing to sleep with me in his bed. It was clear Becca doesn’t want us together. Already Kent is slipping away. “Could you please be nice to him?”

“No.” Her eyes are blazing. “When I get done he’ll be running with his tail tucked between his legs.”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t you don’t me. You should see yourself. He’s dragging you down.”

I’m thankful when the waiter arrives with our drinks. I grab my whiskey and take a long sip, letting the fire chase away the uncertainty inside of me.

“You should be with a man who builds you up. Someone who makes you laugh, smile, and who doesn’t make you cry.”

“You date guys who upset you all the time.”

She smiles sadly. “Exactly. I know what you’re feeling.”

“No you don’t. Because if you did you’d know how much I want him and even if we do part ways in a month I’ll probably spend the rest of my life thinking about him. I want him. I want you to respect that.”

“Do you hear yourself?
If you part ways in a month?
Why is it up to him whether you get what you want?”

She has a point
. I take a deeper swallow.

“What if? What if in a month you find out he’s only using you for sex, or he doesn’t want you, or some other inane reason he comes up with? You gave him a lot. What has he given you?”

I’m the first girl he’s wanted since Willow.
That’s something. “These aren’t thoughts I haven’t had before.”

“Well?” she presses.

“He’s given me things I never even knew I was missing. He makes me feel like everything I’m doing right now matters. Nothing I ever do matters. Even at the end of this month I’ll have done more with him than with any other guy. When’s the last time I did anything that mattered?”

She doesn’t have an answer. She sips her beer and stares down at her menu.

Becca: one million.

Raina: one.

That single victory feels like all of hers. “When’s the last time I took a chance on anything?”

Nothing.

“When’s the last time I wanted something and went for it?”

Silence from her end.

I relish in my victory. “Be nice to him. Give him a try. He’s not who you think he is.”

“We’ll see,” she mutters.

“Let’s talk about something else,” I suggest. “Like our other roommate.”

“Yeah, about him. What’s he like?”

“James is great.” I smile warmly. “He’s deaf, and though I think he gets treated differently, I don’t really understand why. He’s sweet, gentle, and cute. You’ll like him. I guess he and Kent have been friends for a long time.”

“Cute?” Her eyes light up. “Is he like Kent?”

“No.” I laugh at her sigh of relief. “He’s nothing like him.”

“Things are looking up.” She smiles and takes a sip of beer as our waiter comes to take out order. When he’s gone she stares at his backside. “Hot, right, sis?”

“Down, Becca. You’d rip him apart and swallow the pieces. You remember that one boyfriend you had. Garth? Didn’t he cry when you broke up with him?”

“Pansy ass cried during sex too. Every time he had an orgasm I had to grab a box of tissues.”

I laugh the only way Becca can make me laugh. Hard and deep. “I wonder what happened to him. I liked him. He was more the type of guy I want you to be with.”

“A crier? I don’t want a crier. I want a screamer.” She winks. “You’re with a screamer, aren’t you, sis?”

“I think I might be the screamer.”

She tosses her head back and laughs, catching the attention of every male in the building. “That’s my girl. Scream your face off.”

Thankfully for the rest of lunch our conversation revolves around teasing and the past. We talk only of things that don’t remind us of right now.

“Give me your keys. You’re buzzed.”

“No argument there,” I relent, recalling the second whiskey I had.

I stand there, dancing to nothing in the parking lot. I smack her ass, skipping in a tight circle. I had too much to drink and I can’t remember what I was crying about, so I guess it worked.

She eyes me. “Dweeb.”

In my car she turns the radio on. We sing along, getting the words wrong and making them up. I give her directions in the middle of botching the lyrics to a Pink song. When we get home she and I struggle to carry up her luggage. Twice we drop it and burst into a fit of giggles, tugging it all the way back up the stairs. When we get to the top Kent opens the door.

My mouth dries up when I see him. He’s dressed in a pair of snug jeans and a gray button up shirt. His hair is styled and he smells so good my mouth is no longer dry anymore.

“You need help?” he inquires, his smile deeply amused. “It sounds like you’re dragging a body up the stairs.”

“Hi,” I whisper.

“Hi, Rain.” He leans down and kisses my cheek. Becca makes a sound in the back of her throat. His eyes flash to her. He takes her in, her tattoos, her attitude, and then he braves the beautiful beast. He holds his hand out to her. “You must be the famous Becca. Did you bring your gun with you?”

I can tell she tries not to, but she laughs anyway. “Yeah, it’s in my purse.” She takes his hand, shaking it firmly.

I continue not to breathe as they interact.

When he looks for her purse she laughs harder. He grins handsomely at her and raises his eyebrows. “Just checking.”

“Kent,” she greets, dropping his hand. “We’ve met before. I’ve seen you in action so don’t get cute with me.”

His smile falls. “If you saw me in action then that means you were there for the preshow. So don’t get cute with me either.”

My jaw drops. I close my eyes so I can’t witness Becca ripping him apart.

“You listen to me, you prick. You’re lucky I’m even letting you kiss my sister on the cheek. If it were up to me I’d take her and leave here forever.”

“Good thing it’s up to her, then.”

Uh oh.

I wait a moment and when I open my eyes Becca is in Kent’s face. For what it’s worth Kent doesn’t back down. Most men would have.

She stabs him in the chest with her finger. “You’re going to leave her alone.”

“I’m not.”

“Why not? Raina is the most important person to me. I refuse to let you drag her down. She’s got morals and self-respect. Nothing like your usual fare. Why don’t you keep picking from the bottom of the barrel and leave the gold to the good men?”

I expect anger, or something similar. Instead his face falls and he stares down at his black sneakers. “I want to be good enough for her,” he mutters.

I can’t stand watching her beat him up. I drop her luggage and step in front of him, touching his face until he looks up into my eyes. His are leaking his sadness. I kiss him softly, needing his lips right this moment.

“Oh brother.” Becca grabs my hand and yanks me in after her, pulling me away from Kent. His hand tries to reach for me but Becca pulls me out of the way. “Show me your room. Now!” she growls. “We need to talk.”

“Again? My room’s the first door in the hall on the right. Go talk to yourself.”

She meanly shoves me toward the hall. I look back at Kent and the expression on his face kills me. It looks like he’s lost something, as if the one thing he wanted he can’t have.

“I’ll get her luggage,” he mumbles, turning away from me.

Once inside of my room she slams my door and points at me accusingly. “I can’t believe you’re falling for that shit from him. Men like him will say anything to get in your pants. Look, he’s hot, I get it. If you want to have fun with him, fine. But the emotional connection needs to stop.”

I pretend she’s saying something else.
Kent is wonderful. I hope he’s everything you ever dreamed of.
“So this is my room,” I say, giving her a look denying any further Kent talks.

She grumbles under her breath and then sighs “You bought new furniture?”

“No. Kent took it from my roommate. She kicked me out and ruined mine so he went over there and took hers.”

“He did that? That’s kind of cool.” She sounds unwilling to admit that. “Crazy sexy eyes,” she says, peeking sideways at me.

I laugh in relief. “Tell me about it. You should see him naked.”

She shrugs, as if she doesn’t mind either way. “Did you wash your sheets?” She sighs in relief and sits down on my bed. “Good.”

I’m about to deny it because Kent and I put good use to them this morning, but the bed is made and all of my clothes are folded at the end of the bed. Kent must’ve washed them a second time for Becca and folded all my clothes. The action is so sweet my heart tightens. I remind myself to thank him.

Kent knocks on the door and pokes his head in. “I wanted to let you know I’m out.”

“Where are you going?”

“Out,” he replies patiently, but I can tell he’s tense and something dark lurks in his eyes. “I’ll see you when you get home from work.”

I frown at him, but Becca’s here and I can’t talk the way I want in front of her. I walk over and tilt my head up expectantly. He smiles a little despite himself and leans down to kiss me tenderly. His lips are supple and warm, and I want more but can’t have it. “Miss me, okay?”

He nods once. “I already do, Rain. I already do.” He taps my chin with his thumb and then glances at Becca. “The apartment’s yours. There’s beer in the fridge and leftover Chinese, and James will be home after school. Did you tell her about James?”

“I did.” What’s wrong with him? His words are kind but his eyes are grave. “Be good,” I whisper pleadingly.

He doesn’t respond, probably because he’s going to be anything but good. I close my bedroom door and glance at Becca. She’s a sourpuss.

“I have to get ready for work.”

“Can I redo your makeup so you don’t look like you got in a fight, cried, and then tried to cover it up with makeup?”