My Sparkling Misfortune (The Lakeland Knight) (5 page)

"Are you wasting a miracle on this?!"

"What choice do I have? Look what you're doing, you're murderous!"

∗ ∗ ∗

Hard as it was, I had to give up on the gormack and accept the fact that I would not capture one, at least not in the next five years. After the insufferable sparkling had thwarted my third attempt, I began to think of yet another new plan.

I needed to establish myself. I needed money, warriors, weapons, a well protected castle, at least a basic collection of poisons, and many other things a respectable villain must have at their disposal--none of which I could count on Jarvi for. That meant I had to take care of it myself, tricking him into any kind of help I could get out of him. And I would no longer be so foolish as to tell him my plans.

"Jarvi, I need to know more about this land," I told him one morning. "It looks like I'll have to live here for a while, and I need to decide what to do. Go, investigate, and bring me detailed information about the nearby kingdoms, their rulers, enemies, troubles--everything. Do it quick. Use up a miracle if you have to."

He looked at me with some suspicion, probably wondering what I was going to do in his absence.

"Well, if I am allowed to use a miracle, I do not need to go anywhere. I can dive in the spiritual realm and find it all out in a second."

I had no problem with that.

"Even better. Do it."

The sparkling lit up in bright orange and disappeared with the familiar loud crack. In a moment, the sound repeated, and he was back.

"That was fast indeed," I remarked. "Are you sure you got all I want?"

"Of course."

Jarvi sat down on the floor in front of me, as he often did. His glow was fading.

"The nearest kingdom is called Ulkaria," he began. "We are right on its border. It is a peaceful and prosperous country, ruled by King Osmund."

"What is he like?"

"Honest and just."

Good. I prefer to deal with honest folks, they are easier to manipulate, and you always know what to expect.

"What has he got for an army?"

"Six hundred swords, and a thousand more scattered around the borders."

Ouch. That was no trifle.

"Is he himself a good warrior?"

"He was, but he has not fought for many years."

"Would he stand against me?"

The sparkling sighed.

"No. You are much stronger, Lord Arkus."

Well, that was nice to hear, especially coming from him. Had this been a human, I would suspect him of flattery, but Jarvi spoke only the truth.

"I'd never think I would say it, but there are some things I like about you, Jarvi."

He did not care for the compliment. There was deep sadness in his eyes as he looked at me.

"I hope you are not planning to invade King Osmund's land, Lord Arkus."

Not yet, my friend. I am not crazy.

"Of course not, how can I possibly do that? I have no warriors, except yourself, and even though you might be worth a whole army, I have no way to make you fight a war of conquest... Isn't that right?"

Jarvi smiled.

"That is correct, Lord Arkus. I am very glad that you understand."

"Well then, don't be saying silly things. I am just gathering information."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be. Now, go on. You said King Osmund has not fought for a while, how come? Doesn't he have any enemies?"

"None big enough to start a war, only occasional trouble here and there, which his warriors handle well."

"Are there any villains in the land?"

"Nothing serious. A clumsy witch whose spells tend to backfire, a couple of robbers, and a toothless old werewolf who no longer hunts."

So I had no competition. Excellent.

"Ulkaria's main danger," Jarvi continued, "comes from being so close to
Silky
Lake
. Sometimes gormacks make mischief."

"I see."

I took some time to think. Until I had an army, military actions were out of the question, no matter how tempting of a target such a relaxed peaceful kingdom was. In order to hire an army, I needed gold. As to obtaining gold, there were several options. I could find out when King Osmund received tribute from his subjects, trace delivery routes, and intercept a load or two. That, however, would be too much like highway robbery, very distasteful. Another option was kidnapping and taking ransom, and I had some experience with that, as I believe I have mentioned earlier.

"Does King Osmund have children?"

"Two. Princess Litinia and Prince Philip."

Lovely. Now, which one do I go for?...

"How old are they?"

"The princess is nineteen, and a beauty, and Prince Philip is only ten."

Well, the boy would be a better bet, but probably next to impossible to capture: being so young, he wouldn't leave the palace much, if at all. The princess, on the other hand, was old enough to be going to balls and other events. I don't know what prompted Jarvi to mention that she was a beauty, but I was glad he did. It made my next question sound perfectly innocent.

"A beauty, you say? I wish I could judge for myself... Do you think it would be possible for me to see the princess, Jarvi? Does she make public appearances?"

"Oh yes, very often. She attends tournaments and other competitions and celebrations and regularly visits the poor."

How careless on the king's part to let her. But then what would you expect from someone who hasn't faced any serious danger for years? Peaceful life makes one lose caution.

Very well, Princess Litinia. I am sorry, but it looks like you will have to live through some unsettling moments during your next charity trip. I will do my best to make it all as civil as possible, and I hope your father will be wise enough not to prolong your captivity.

∗ ∗ ∗

It took some careful thinking and many smartly put questions to obtain all the necessary information, but by the end of the week I knew exactly when Her Highness the Princess was going to travel, what village she'd go to, what road she would take, and even how many guards she would have with her (only five). I checked the route and found a perfect spot to attack--in the middle of a narrow valley with thorny hills on one side and forest on the other. That part of the road was rather bumpy, too, so if the coachman decided to speed up, he would be unable to do so.

I didn't have a good place to keep the princess at, but, considering my limited resources, the cave where I rested after my visit to the lake would have to do. It needed some adjustments, of course, but I had no doubt that Jarvi would cooperate when I had the princess and help to make the young lady's accommodation more comfortable, as well as secure.

Having double checked everything--armor, sword, horse, rope, and blindfold (I made sure Jarvi didn't see the latter two)--I set out for the valley. The sparkling followed, happy with my explanation that I wore my best armor because I wanted to impress the princess, if we happen to meet her. Sometimes he was too naive in his goodness. I almost pitied him.

When we reached my chosen spot, Jarvi was in the middle of a story I prompted him into telling to divert his attention. I did not think he would thwart the attack; on the contrary, he would be forced to help me out if the princess's guards happened to overpower me, which I highly doubted. After the sparkling's sword training, I felt strong enough to face far more than just five.

The carriage showed up right on time, drawn by four splendid white horses. The coachman had no weapon at all; he was actually dozing, obviously thinking that it was the guards' job to watch out for danger. They were not doing the job very well, either, following a bit too far behind.

I was ready to plunge when the forest on the other side of the road erupted with shouts, and dozens of rough looking fellows in familiar feather-decorated helmets ran out from behind the trees, wielding swords, axes, and clubs. The Dolmanians! Here?...

"What in the world?!"

They stopped the carriage, threw off the coachman, and swarmed at the guards who desperately fought back but stood no chance against such a crowd.

"It looks like they want to capture the princess," Jarvi said. "You are not the only one who thinks it's a good idea, Lord Arkus."

So he knew my intentions, after all. Well, it didn't matter right now. I was not going to let these barbarians take my prize.

I drew the sword and charged.

"Back off, you dogs!!"

I do not know how many I struck before they took notice of me, I didn't count. Jarvi followed close by, his shining sword bare, covering my back. His help was not needed though. The Dolmanians turned on me, but as soon as they had a better look, their faces went white, and they fled, screaming and dropping their weapons.

"Ghost! Ghost! The Dreaded Lord rose from the dead! It's a ghost!!"

Ah, so they thought me dead, too, just like everyone else. How convenient. Knowing their superstitious minds, I didn't even have to fight anymore, but this was too much fun to end so soon.

"I see that you recognize me! Good!" I shouted, chasing them farther away. "I hope this is enough of a warning! Get out, and don't let me see you again in this land!"

I heard applause behind me. Puzzled, I stopped and turned the horse around.

At the open door of the carriage stood three ladies; one, a striking beauty with a thin diadem in her auburn hair, was, no doubt, the princess. A plump older lady next to her had to be the princess's lady-in-waiting; I knew she was supposed to accompany her charge on the trip. The third one was a young girl in a simple dress, modestly standing back, obviously a servant. Her presence was a surprise, and not a pleasant one--more screaming women to deal with.

Right now though, they had no intention to scream. All three were looking at me with unspeakable admiration and clapping their hands in a mesmerized, devoted manner. What's worse, all five guards were standing right next to them, dismounted and battered, but with the same blissful expression, applauding as well. Jarvi grinned from ear to ear, and do I need to say that he also participated in all that ridiculous clapping?... I glared at him, but it only made his grin wider.

"Thank you, oh noble knight!" said the princess, at last interrupting all that noise.

"I am not a knight, Your Highness," I hurried to inform, "and you should not thank me, because--"

"Oh, I know. No true hero expects a reward, but it is our royal duty to reward such brave deeds. When my father, the king, hears about this, you will be knighted, I'm sure."

True hero?...

"What is your name?" she proceeded.

No way. I wasn't going to tell her my name, not after what she'd just called me. I did not want to ruin my reputation forever.

"I cannot reveal it, Your Highness."

All I could do was to dismount, and hope to find my way out of this without further embarrassment.

The princess looked surprised.

"I admit I have no first hand experience with heroes, so forgive me if I say or ask things I shouldn't. I did not know you might have reasons to keep your name secret."

"That's because of modesty, Your Highness!" the plump lady cut in, clearly unable to hold her enthusiasm any longer. "I know that's what it is--modesty in its finest form!"

She turned to me.

"I heard those horrible men call you a ghost, is this because you are swift as a phantom, showing up at the time of need and delivering justice?"

Where do people come up with such things??

"No, madam," I answered, "I can assure you that's
not
the case."

The princess smiled.

"Allow me to introduce my impatient companion: Madame Clementina, my lady-in-waiting."

The lady curtseyed, blushing; I had to bow in response. If fellow-villains saw me now they'd die laughing.

"As to myself," the princess continued, "you have indicated that you already know my identity by addressing me Your Highness. I can only confirm that you are right: I am Princess Litinia, daughter of King Osmund of Ulkaria."

I bowed again.

She went on to introduce her guards, coachman, and the servant girl, all of whom wouldn't get their delighted eyes off me.

"We owe you our lives today," the princess concluded. "I do not know where these despicable raiders came from, nothing like this has ever happened before. If it wasn't for you and your timely intervention..."

"Please, Your Highness, do not mention that," I interrupted. I couldn't take it much longer. "Now that you are safe, may I wish you a pleasant journey home."

She blinked.

"But I must know at least where to find you..."

No, you mustn't.

"That is unnecessary. I do not wish knighthood. If I happened to be of service, I am glad, and let it be the end of it."

"I think I might have the answer to Your Highness's question," Madame Clementina cut in again, with a sly expression. "Our rescuer must be the mysterious hermit of
Lakeland
! You know, the one people have been talking about?"