My Soul To Take (9 page)

He dropped to his knees and let his head fall forward into my lap. His wings dropped neatly against his back, the supple, leathery looking membranes folded over one another like a fan. Silky blonde hair spilled out over my thighs.

I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting back the urge to touch him.

“I’m changing,” he whispered against my bare legs. “Please don’t make me leave.”

I looked down at him and he looked up at me. His mind-blowing beautiful blue eyes bored into mine. “What do you mean, changing?”

But I already knew. He was bigger than before, taller and wider; his horns had grown, as had the amount of scales covering his body. Several hundred heartbeats passed during which I had several heart attacks and maybe a stroke or two.

“There is an animal inside of me,” he said hoarsely. “And it’s growing stronger. I can feel it taking over… Eventually, I’m not going to be me anymore.”

I stared at him, uncomprehending. “Who will you be?” I asked softly.

I watched a lone tear slip from the corner of his eye and leave a trail of wetness as it slid down his cheek, evaporating.

“I don’t know who I’ll be. But I want…I just wish…” His head dropped.

“What? You want what?”

“You,” he whispered, his breath hot against my bare skin. His hands encircled my ankles and slid slowly up my legs as he pulled them apart.

“I want you, Trinity. I’ve always wanted you.”

He kissed his way up my thighs while his hands crept up the sides of my body. Liquid flames followed the path of his lips and fingers as they trailed fire across my bare skin. He stopped near my ribcage and his thumbs brushed softly against the undersides of my breasts.

“I’ve loved you all your life,” he whispered. “Please, Trinity, please love me back.”

It was a desperate plea from a desperate man. But it was real. Oh, gods was it real. I felt the power of those words sink deep inside of me, deep inside the gaping hole in my chest that had been growing wider and colder during these past months. It was warm and soft as it spread; a comforting balm that eased my pain and soothed the anger inside of me.

Gerik had saved my life and brought me to his home.

He had protected me while the world crumbled to dust around us.

And who could ever forget his most selfless act. An act that had saved most of his clan, knowing he was cursing himself. In return, they had banished him.

Now, this selfless, beautiful creature, so full of raw strength and powerful magic, was kneeling before me and asking me to love him.

Asking me…

To love him.

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. I didn’t want to continue living in the shadows of my memories and wishing for things that I knew would never come to pass.

I had no idea what would come of this, of us, but I suddenly wanted to find out more than I wanted anything else.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Xan wasn’t sure what was making him sicker, the amount of alcohol he had just consumed or Onyx, laying face down, naked, in his bed.

She had done it out of spite; or rather, she had done him out of spite. Or out of revenge. Guess she hadn’t gotten the memo that Gerik and
her
didn’t give a flying fuck about either of them or who they were fucking.

“Damn, Deleanu, I thought you were made of stronger stuff than this. You look like you’re gonna puke. Or, was I just that bad?” She lifted her head up and grinned.

No. And that was half the problem. She had been exactly what he hadn’t known he’d needed. Instead of the limp, rag doll Nadya was or the selfless, attentive lover Fifi always tried to be, Onyx had torn him up.

Neither of them had held back. He wasn’t even sure if they’d had sex or just spent the morning beating the fucking hell out of each other. It had been the first time in his life he’d ever hit a woman but, surprisingly, he felt no guilt.

“You need to eat something,” he said, staring at her bony body, now scratched and bruised, thanks to him.

She smirked. “You should talk.”

Digging out a bottle of gin from under a pile of dirty clothes, he took an extra long swallow. Ah. Now that was better. Sick feeling was officially receding.

“I’m not a layer of skin away from the grave,
fată. You’re looking kinda skeletal.”

She shrugged. “At least I don’t smell like a garbage dump. You might want to dump a bucket of water over yourself once in a while.”

“Coming from the fată with pit hair as long as mine,” he muttered.

Laughing, she sat
up and grabbed the bottle from him. “You find me a lady bic and I’ll shave. Until then, I’m sticking with my roots.”

“When was the last time you saw a razor around camp? Use a blade, ya goddamn Gypsy.”

“Like you?” She brushed her hand over his beard and he slapped her away.

“Oh, Xan, tsk tsk. Being nasty is only gonna turn me on and I’m not sure you’re up for another round.”

Jesus, this bitch was a goddamn demon in bed. Between drinking themselves into a stupor and fucking the hell out of each other all damn morning, he was impressed that she even was up for another round. And he was downright shocked that his own body was proving itself just as receptive.

She slipped her hand inside of his boxers and squeezed him.

“Oh yeah,” she muttered. “You want more. I always knew you were just like me.”

God, she was a bitch
and
a whore. She was everything he hated about women all rolled up in one tiny bag of bones.

“I’m nothing like you,” he lied.

“Oh? So back in the Catskills when you pulled your piece on Gerik, if he hadn’t walked away, you weren’t going to kill him?” He glared at her. Unfazed, she continued to stroke him. “Baby, I got your number. I knew you were going to kill him, Gerik knew it and you knew it. The only person who didn’t know it was little miss perfect. Fucking oblivious bitch.”

She hadn’t been oblivious, she’d been innocent. There was a big difference. Before she had lost her sister and joined their clan the only
bad
things she’d been exposed to had been on television. But now that he thought about it, he wasn’t even sure if his wife had ever watched television.

After leaving Kris Court and Onyx to her fate, he was headed back to Trinity when he heard Gerik yelling and immediately changed directions. Lately, if Gerik was strung out, Trinity was usually around.

As he neared the grouping of trees that grew near the creek, he could make out Gerik, towering over her.

“I could take you anyway, yeah? Maybe it will still work. Maybe you haven’t ruined every—”

Fuck this shit. He was done with Gerik’s obsession with Trinity. Stepping out of the shadows, he pulled his piece and aimed for the fucker’s head. “You’ll have to kill me first,” he told him flat out.

He kept his eyes on Gerik, waiting, readying for even the slightest of movements.

Gerik stared back at him, his rage evident. They were both ready to end this shit, right here, right now. But unlike him, Gerik was wearing his indecision like a goddamn hat. Frate had a terrible poker face.

“I should have killed you the first time you looked at her like she was something other than mine!” Gerik bellowed and the ground trembled beneath them.

“She’s a person, frate,” he said calmly. “Not a pair of shoes.”

Gerik howled at the top of his lungs. “I am not your brother,” he roared. The scent of magic in the air thickened and a blast of wind tore through camp, nearly knocking him over.

Trinity was turned away from Gerik, obviously more worried about him than Gerik. This was fine with him. Because of that, she never once noticed the dagger he’d underhandedly imbedded in Gerik’s right hand during the magic mini windstorm, effectively ending it. Frate had since pulled it out and tossed it aside.

“You were once. Remember?” he said this with a wink, trying to bait Gerik into attacking again. This time, he would kill him.

Then he glanced at Trinity and, knowing how much it would piss Gerik off, said, “And you were right. What you said that night…I do love her.” Looking back to Gerik, he had to fight a grin. Frate was beyond furious. Time to go in for the kill. “So you see,” he drawled, “You will have to kill me, because the only way I’m letting her go is if my heart no longer beats.”

They stared at one another for a long time. He could practically see the wheels turning inside Gerik’s head, as he weighed his options. He knew the moment frate realized he had been cornered. Without another word, Gerik turned around and walked away. And kept walking, past the wards and into the woods.

He grabbed Trinity’s shaking hand and tugged her up against him. “You okay, fată?”

Eyes wide, she shook her head. “No,” she whispered.

Right. First things first. He would take her home, make her feel better, and then he would tell her they were married.

Maybe.

Probably not.

"Do you have any idea what it felt like to be used for
sex because he couldn't get the Gaje to spread her legs? But I took what I could get. Because, for a little while, it meant he was back in my arms."

What? Onyx was still here? What had happened to his hand job?

“Woman, if we’re not going to fuck, I’m not entirely sure why you’re still here.”

She flashed her straight, white teeth at him right before she took him into her mouth.

Ah. His brain stalled out.

The bitch kept him teetering on the edge of release until he couldn't take it anymore and grabbed her, yanking her up and over him. Laughing, she straddled his hips, and slammed her body down around his.

Oh, fuck him. This crazy bitch could sure as hell fuck.

“I bet you’ve wondered who’s bigger. Or better.” She grinned maliciously. “You or Gerik…”

“You are such a goddamn psychopath,” he bit out, trying not to groan while she viciously rocked her hips.

Laughing, she began to move faster. “Not at all curious, huh?”

“Shut up,” he growled. Grabbing her bony, protruding hips, he thrust up into her as hard as he could. Her grunt of pain bled into a moan of pleasure.

Not good enough. He wanted to cause pain. He wanted to cause
her
pain. He was so fucking sick of hurting; it was time for her to hurt.

Roughly flipping her onto her back he took top and powered into her as hard as he could. Green eyes blinked up at him, shining with amusement. His nostrils flared. She was laughing at him. Laughing because she'd played him. Laughing because he'd loved her and she’d never loved him back.

He grabbed a handful of her hair and roughly yanked her head to the side. “You stupid, motherfucking whore,” he choked out.

Crazy-eyed and grinning, she slapped him across the face. She slapped him again and again and again until he could no longer restrain himself and he backhanded her. Hard. Her wide, green eyes filled with tears and a surge of pleasure shot through him.

“More,” she panted, sounding hysterical. “Make it hurt, Xan…please, please make it hurt!”

They attacked each other, slapped each other red and raw, clawed and bit each other bruised and bloody. He was sure he’d lost some hair. He knew she had. And yet, it wasn’t enough. He wanted pain. He wanted to forget. He wanted…

“Kill me,” he rasped, slapping her face to the side, then squeezing her cheeks, forcing her to look at him.

“Please. Fucking. Kill. Me.” And in that one moment, he had meant it.

“I’m trying,” she screamed, clawing at his neck, shredding his skin. “Believe me, I’m trying!”

“You’re not trying hard enough,” he growled. Flipping her onto her stomach, he shoved her face into his pillow and, without preamble, brutally took her backside. She screamed and she laughed as she bucked wildly beneath him.

“Harder,” she cried, openly sobbing now. “HURT ME!” she screamed.

He did as she asked even as tears burned in his eyes. He was so far gone, so lost inside his pain, he was quickly succumbing to the looming madness that had been waiting months for his guard to be down so it could slip inside and take root in his mind.

With every scream that he’d forced past her lips, every slap of flesh, every whimper, every tear and grunt of pain, with every drop of blood spilled, he felt pieces of himself begin to wither away and die.

He had hit rock bottom.

And he wasn't sure he had the strength to climb back up again.

When they’d exhausted themselves, were unable to move, and Onyx - not
her
– was wrapped around his body, clinging to him like a lifeline and sobbing in his arms…he felt like a husk of a man.

Empty. Cold. Shattered.

Alone.

Always alone.

“Shh, I got you. Don’t cry, fată, I got you, I fuckin’ got you,” he whispered hoarsely, trying to comfort Onyx, not because he cared, but because if he focused for too long on himself, he might not live to see another day.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

“You can’t leave me again,” I whispered.

Gerik’s head snapped up and his nostrils flared. “Never.”

A tear slipped out of the corner of my eye. Then another. Then I was crying in earnest. And he was kissing me, cradling my face between his hands and kissing me as if his life depended on it.

And maybe it did. Maybe both our lives depended on...right now.

Pushing me backwards, he crawled over top of me, already tearing open his jeans. There would be no foreplay. Gerik was done waiting and was ready to take what I had long denied him.

Oh gods. He was huge. “Wait,” I gasped as he began to move. I was so full…of him; I could feel everything, every detail of his sex as it slid through mine. The sensations were too much…too much…something, everything, I didn’t know.

“Trinity,” he snarled, gripping my chin, forcing me too look at him. “I’ve waited thirty years for you, I’m not waiting anymore. I can’t wait anymore.”

“Okay,” I squeaked, a little overwhelmed by him. He looked wild, fearsome and so beautiful.

Gerik didn’t just have sex with me, he released a lifetime of pent up need and nearly a year of repressed pain into our joining. I could do nothing but hold on to him as the hurricane he’d become whipped around me, taking and taking, stripping me bare.

And when he came, I came...and something shifted inside of me…and I knew that I had been waiting my entire life for this moment, for this man.

His emotions had poured into me as hard and as fast as he had been moving inside of my body. I had seen myself through Gerik’s eyes, felt myself through Gerik’s touches and knew he had experienced the same.

What lie between us was more than just lust or love. It was more than just two bodies coming together in haze of desire. Our destiny went soul deep, had been written in the stars long before either of us had been born. We truly were at the mercy of
nature and what nature was demanding of me I could no longer deny. Had no desire to deny.

We made love again and again. My peaks were his, his were mine. Every glorious feeling cascaded back and forth between us as if we had become a single entity.

Trinity?

Gerik’s fingers whispered across my back, tracing my scars from a Skin Eater attack.

Exhausted, sore and sweaty, it took the last of my energy to roll over and face him.

He gazed at me with barely restrained hunger, ready to take me again. He was insatiable. Inexhaustible. No man could possibly be…

Gerik wasn’t a man anymore. Not even close.

Trinity?

My eyes widened. He wasn’t speaking aloud. He was speaking… No, he wasn’t even speaking. He was thinking. Feeling. And I could hear his thoughts.

He grinned and I melted. That grin was going to be the death of me. Or at least the death of my lower half.

No regrets?

No
, I thought, testing out this new and unexpected ability of ours.
Not at all.

His wing shot out and curled down around my body, draping me in darkness and warmth. His tongue slipped inside of my mouth and began to softly stroke my own.

I love you, Trinity.

Gods did he ever. His love blanketed me in passion and comfort and…the safety only a home can give.

I love you, too.

The sudden, unexpected emotion astonished me. But I’d meant it, gods I’d meant it. If Gerik was surprised, he didn’t show it, didn’t pause in his exploration of my mouth. I, however, was reeling. How could this have happened so quickly? How could I be in love with Xan…and Gerik? And why does it feel as if I’d always loved Gerik, loved him before I’d met him, loved him beyond even that?

Gerik, I think…I think I have always loved you.

He pulled away to look at me. “I know, Trinity. I have always known. But it sure as hell took
you
long enough to figure it out.”