My Soul Laid Bare: Book 4 (The Soul Keeper Series) (17 page)

Before I realize it, I’m standing at the end of the aisle waiting for Sam to turn and see me. He hears the hush come over the crowd, and his amber eyes melt me on the spot, gluing my worn out boots right to the dust covered ground. 

I squash the memory of Elijah standing in the very spot Sam is now, looking at me with the exact same spellbound wonder. Sam looks so handsome in his gray vest and tie. I can’t help but want to draw closer to him. He’s my center, my ground, when I’m adrift. The soft glow of the sinking sun gives off its final splash of color before retiring for the night. The candle lit barn glows warmly against the navy sky. This is home, Sam, his sisters, and his exorbitantly large family who have grown to adore me. They’ve all come to love and accept me over these last eight years. It’s time I do too.

Soon I’m standing beside him, and his broad hand takes up mine.
“You look so beautiful,” he whispers into my ear. I smile up at him, and the Pastor of our local church begins the ceremony. A few minutes into it and Elena’s healing trick has worn off.  I feel a sharp pain welling up deep from inside. It feels as if someone is slicing pieces of my soul off by the pound. I clench my teeth and try to bare it. If I’m feeling this, I wonder what Elijah must be enduring.

I need something to take my mind off of it. I glance at Elena trying to plead for help. I blink back tears and try to keep my face pointed toward the Pastor, so Sam can’t tell that something is wrong. Elena finally purses her lips letting me know there’s nothing she can do with a room full of witnesses.

My eyes search the heavens for some sort of divine relief. The moon catches my gaze, and my thoughts escape to another world, to the night Elijah and I got married. The moon light washed his tan chest a shade of pewter. My hands traced the faint lines of his scars visible through his half buttoned shirt. His hands pulled me in tighter and he brushed his lips over mine for a moment.

“You are so precious to me,” he admits in a sensual voice next to my ear.

I peel away from him just to see his expression. His lips hold a ghost of a smile and I could see he was just as nervous as I was.

He led me to the music room and invited me to share
the piano bench while he played a Bruno Mars song,
Talking to the Moon.
I loved listening to the sound of his voice. It calmed my nerves to the point where I was no longer nervous. I wanted him. I wanted to share myself with him in a very real and tangible way. He read the longing in my eyes and in the next instant, he scooped me up with a smile and carried me to our bedroom. A playful laugh escapes us both, but the second he eased me onto the bed, a look of desire heated his stare. My breath hitched as he unzipped my bridal gown. His touch was slow and calculated, seducing me with only glimpses of what was to come.

“You are so soft. I could touch you like this all night.” He runs his hand from my knee going north. My stomach hitches as he passes over the hem of my garter and doesn’t stop until his hand is in my own above my head. “Do you remember the night that all we could do was this?”

God, do I remember that night! It still plays in reruns in my best dreams some nights. Back when we were forbidden from each other, Elijah and I shared a vivid dream where he and I made love. Only now we get to make that dream come true.

I nod with a smile playing on my lips, inviting him to continue. His body covers mine and Elijah fulfills my every waking dream. What came next felt so natural and so utterly right and good that I couldn’t believe we had waited for that night for so long.

“
Is this alright? Am I hurting you?”

His question snapped me out of my reverie.  I planted my lips over his heated neck. It was like licking molten glass, hot and pliable molding under the strong caress of my tongue, and he sighed into me.
“You could never hurt me,” I whispered.

“
I love you with all of my soul, Brennen. I promise. I will never hurt you.” The moment for softly spoken words was over and what came next was the door opening to a whole other world. A world once entered, you can never return from. A bond once shared can never be forgotten. Elijah and I had arrive there together. Every step had come at a steep price. A fare I would have gladly paid ten times over to be with him until forever.

The moonlight worshiped his glorious body as he admired me from just above my nose. Our breaths panted out in unison attempting to quell the storm that had just passed over our bodies. The air was quiet, the only sound beside our heavy breaths was the ocean waves coming in from the open balcony. We were all alone in Elijah’s private country, his world. Our World.

“I do,” Sam states sliding a cool gold band over my ring finger. And just like that, I’m back in the real world with a whole new reality about to be signed in blood.

“
And do you Brennen Hale, take Samuel Montgomery to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“
Yes, I do.”

The pastor completes the ceremony, but I don’t hear a word he says. The pain is back, and the illness is in full force. My only escape is to go back to Elijah and our honeymoon. Sam’s lips
cover mine, and in my twisted mind it’s Elijah kissing me now. It’s the kiss we shared after making love. Sam pulls back looking as if he’s perplexed by me.

“
If I knew you’d kiss me like that on our wedding day, I would have popped the question freshman year.”

I nearly faint as the pain grips my head, trying to decapitate me and send me to the grave on my wedding day. Sam leads me down the aisle and far away from Elena’s healing hands. Once outside, he kisses me again and once again I slip off to the other world. The only place where the pain can’t get to me. Finally, relief begins to ebb into my head, and I realize Elena has pulled me aside and is healing me again.

“I don’t know if you are going to make it to your honeymoon unless Elijah shows up.”

I grab her by the arms and shake her.

“No, Elena! I’d rather die than have Elijah pay witness to that.” She shakes my grip and tightens her fingers around my wrists.

“
He’s going to pay witness to it when he gets back either way Brennen, and it’s my job to keep you safe. Be sides, after tonight, you can bet you’ll be Sam’s greatest addiction for the rest of his natural life, and Elijah will have a front row seat.”

I cringe at the thought. If I could I’d run off and never come back to this life, I'd be the first one to board that train.

“You will keep healing me Elena. I’m not giving in.”

“
I’ll do my best, but if things get too serious you can forget about it.”

Sam rounds the corner just as her nails unhook from my arm.

“Hello Mrs. Montgomery.”

“
Hello husband.” I smile back playfully, and he scoops me up for a kiss. I hear the guest beginning to make their way from the barn for cocktails while we are supposed to be taking our photographs. An image of Elijah sitting at the foot of my bed with a bowl of popcorn flashes through my mind. His stuffs a mouthful of the snack in his mouth and washes it down with a glass of chardonnay while watching Sam hover over my lingerie clad body. God, what was I thinking marrying Sam?

Lexi jumps on Sam’s back like a little monkey while he still holds me in his arms. Just then the photographer flashes a snapshot capturing the moment perfectly while also managing to blind me momentarily.

“
Marry Sam, Brennen, have lots of little green eyed babies running around. That’s what I want for you
.” Elijah’s words resonate from a long forgotten memory. He's here taunting me even though he's a million mile away right now. Supposedly Jesson is keeping him occupied by feeding the hungry like he used to do with me. I hope he's okay. For all I know, he's in agony right now. The only difference is, he can't die.

We take a slew of candid portraits and finally make our way to the reception. Bare vintage light bulbs on strings hang across the dance floor. Each table has a centerpiece of fresh cut lavender sitting in pretty jars. A song comes on and for some reason it reminds me of my life, my impossibly crazy life. I've heard it before and try to remember the name of it. Our guests are having a good time mingling and downing the free alcohol like we may change our minds at any moment and start charging folks. Now I remember. It's called
Human
. Yep that about sums me up.

A small girl from Sam’s riding class comes up beside me and takes my hand. She swings it back and forth as she smiles up at me like she’d just been in the presence of a member of royalty. She runs off just as quickly back to the dance floor with the other children pretending to be at a ball. As I watch her, I think about Sam. I don’t know how he still finds the time to work with the charity, but he always makes it a priority. And I realize I just answered my own question. I married Sam because despite everything, I do love him. He deserves me to love him, wholeheartedly, and that’s just what I’m going to do.

The band announces our arrival and introduces us as Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery. Our guest clap as we enter the dance floor for our first dance. The words melt me because I know he handpicked this song for our first dance.
Just look at you, girl. Standing' here beside me, starlight on your hair looking like a dream I dreamed somewhere
. It goes on to say how I mean everything to him and how when he’s with me he feels like he can do anything.

Music is a big part of who Sam is. There’s always a song on his mind for every emotion, for every occasion, and I love that about him. Our memories are always tied to songs, and later when I’m alone, driving in the car or in the shower with the radio on, a song will come on and bring back the memory of that particular time. Ten years of memories we’ve created together so far, most of them good, but some were horrific and best forgotten. But they are our memories.

Tonight I choose to take the bad and good and the future memories we’ll make and accept our love as it’s meant to be. Tonight, I let Elijah’s memories fade to the background. I know there will be times they will surface, but tonight I vow to never let them stand in the way of what Sam and I have. Elijah and I will have our time later. Sam’s arm secure me against his chest as we round the dance floor. He can still make me float.

I smile softly against his shoulder as the song ends. His lips seal over mine as he dips me inches from the ground, and the cheers erupt again. I shake my head at him as he lifts me back up, giggling like a teenager.

After the dance, we mingle with old friends and family. I catch up with Lexi who tells me she's having a girl. Mia and Maci both have steady boyfriends that go to school with them. Sam pretends not to like them, but I know he’s just trying to play the role of his father and keep a watchful eye on the girls. He’s going to make a great father one day.

The reception features the usual fare, cake cutting, champagne toasting, bacon wrapped filet mignon and a drunken conga line. We end the night with our guests waving sparklers in the air as we race to the getaway car. I don’t allow my mind to compare the two events because there is no comparing them, two very different nights, for two very different men. I take in a deep breath once the limo pulls away from Sam’s estate. Sam has booked us at a luxury resort for tonight not far from home. We leave for St. Lucia in the morning, a small island fourteen hours away by plane.

Not even thirty minutes after leaving the party, the mysterious illness comes rearing its ugly head around the corner. I wince as it claws at my heart. It sinks its flesh ripping fangs into my organs and I cry out, just as Sam nibbles on my neck. The back of the car is dark, and the music drowns out the whimper. Elena sits across from us, invisible to Sam, keeping me safe in Elijah’s absence. If Elena lights up her hand now, Sam would see, so she just glares at me from across the limo taking pleasure in my pain no doubt.

“
I don’t know if I can wait until we get to the hotel,” Sam teases.

“
Do you really want to consummate our marriage in the back of a car?”

“
God, as long as it’s with you, it can be on the roof of this car.” He seizes the chance to kiss my bare neck again.

He has no idea that I’ve already ventured down that road. Hell – carved out a well-marked path is more like it. Elena smirks as she holds back a full on laugh. Then again, it was so long ago, the memory of what it was like has dulled over the years. So tonight will be all new, all us. I give in to his lips as we pull up to the hotel. Our door is opened and after a while, the driver clears his throat when we don’t exit right away.

I excuse myself to the restroom while Sam checks in.

“
Elena please?”

“
I can’t keep doing this. You’re draining my strength too you know?”

She grips my arm, and once again the pain is relieved.

“I know and I’m sorry. Please just for tonight at least.” She purses her lips together and holds the door open for me. “It’s horrible. How are you and Jesson able to bear it?” I whisper as we walk back to the lobby.

“
Jesson may be my spirit husband, but he is not my soul mate. It’s an unbelievably rare thing for two souls to meet their match. Yet, here you are tossing it aside like a wet newspaper.”

My eyes moisten as I look up at her.
“I need your support in this choice Elena. I don't have anyone else here I can talk to.”