My Savage Heart (The MacQuaid Brothers) (25 page)

He was close enough for her to smell the outdoors and manly scent of him, to feel the heat that radiated from his large body. And she could not help the memories his assault on her senses evoked.

She wanted to throw herself in his strong arms and beg him to stay. To stay with her always. To tell him of their child.

Before she did something she would regret, Caroline turned away. His hands gripped her shoulders forcing her back to him. And his words showed he misinterpreted her actions as fear, which Caroline admitted to herself, should be her prime consideration.

“I shall return as quickly as possible.”

“I know you will.” His fingers tightened and her heart beat faster.

“You will be fine.”

Caroline detected the hint of a question in his words. She nodded because she didn’t trust her voice to answer. Subtly, surely, he drew her closer. Her hands hung by her sides, the pistol dangling from one. But each time she breathed, her breasts flirted with the homespun weave of his shirt. The touch, barely there, should have been imperceptible, but Caroline felt it down to her curled toes.

He wasted time. Wolf knew he should leave, for the sooner he did, the sooner he could return. But he seemed unable to release her. The alternative was to draw her closer. He meant to do it gently, but his arms didn’t follow his mind’s directive. She gasped as he pressed her against his body.

Her lips were warm and tasted of surrender. He couldn’t help drinking his fill. When he pulled away she moaned and swayed toward him. It was all he could do to step back.

Wolf slung his musket over his shoulder and glanced back toward Caroline. Her mouth was red and damp. Her golden hair mussed. She was his father’s widow, and he ached to take her there on the floor. Nearly groaning, he headed for the door. His hand gripped the latch, but was stilled when the cry sounded from the bedroom.

Caroline was down the hall ahead of him. She was leaning over Mary when he rushed through the doorway. Logan’s wife was pale as the sheet she lay on. When they left the room moments ago she was sleeping soundly and Wolf had thought there was time to seek help. Now he knew that hope was unfounded. Her eyes were still shut, but her breathing was heavy, rasping from her dry lips. Between gasps, she called for her husband in a weak strangled voice.

He’d always understood his brother’s reasons for leaving... neither of them could stand the man who sired them. But now Wolf wondered if Logan should have thought more about the wife he left behind.

“I think the babe is coining.” Caroline’s tone, surprisingly calm despite the pounding of her heart, gave her a little confidence. “Perhaps you should wait in the other room.” She guided Mary’s hands to the knotted rags she tied earlier around the bedposts. With a surge of energy, Mary grabbed hold.

Caroline flipped up the sheet, pausing only a moment as she caught sight of Wolf still standing in the doorway. He hadn’t moved; and if the situation wouldn’t have been as it was, she might have laughed at the expression on his face as he stared at Mary. He was nearly as pale as the woman about to deliver her child. Paler, for exertion now colored Mary’s features bright red. As she gritted her teeth and pushed, her skin grew damp with perspiration.

“Raff!” Caroline had to say it twice before his eyes met hers. “The water needs to be warmed.” It was all she could think of to get him moving, but it worked. Not seeming to care how much he spilled, Wolf scooped up the hemp-handled buckets and rushed from the room.

Shaking her head, Caroline focused her attention back to Mary. Earlier when Mary explained what needed to be done, Caroline was certain she’d never remember, let alone be able to handle any of it. Now she found herself working more on instinct than anything else.

“Keep pushing, Mary. I can see the baby.” Caroline leaned forward to give her friend’s arm a reassuring pat. “You’re doing a wonderful job.” Though she doubted Mary could hear her murmured words over the sounds she made as she pushed with all her strength, Caroline found them comforting. Besides, maybe Mary did realize what she said, and maybe it would keep her trying a little longer.

Because her strength was ebbing. “Come Mary. You can’t stop now. You’ve a baby to birth.” The cry that tore through Mary’s slight body raised the hair on Caroline’s nape. It also exposed the baby’s head. “Just a little bit more. There,” Caroline gasped as the slippery baby slid into her hands. Tears sprang to her eyes, but it was with a laugh that she turned to Wolf when he came bursting through the door.

“It’s a girl.” Caroline carried the tiny crying child around to the side of the bed. “Mary you have a daughter.” But there was no glad adulation. As if she’d done all she possibly could, Mary lay quiet, her head resting listlessly upon the pillow. Her breathing was shallow, and no amount of calling her name would awaken her.

“Raff, come here.” He was by her side before she’d finished her sentence, and Caroline turned, handing the squirming infant toward him.

“You want
me
to hold her?” His tone indicated he thought she’d lost her mind.

But Caroline just nodded toward the swaddling of linen laid out on the chest. “Fetch that and hurry,” she said and he seemed to understand that there was no choice. The baby fit comfortably in his out-stretched hands.

While he stood beside the bed, Caroline worked quickly on Mary, pressing the afterbirth from her body and tying off the cord. Occasionally she glanced at Mary, hoping to see some improvement in her color and breathing. There was none. Wolf did look better though, less like he would swoon onto the floor.

“Is she supposed to be this small?” he asked when Caroline wrapped the tiny body snugly in the toweling.

“I don’t think so. But she was born too early.” Even with her small size, the baby seemed better off than her mother. Caroline handed the wrapped bundle back to the tall man and dipped a scrap of cloth in the bucket by the bed. The water was barely tepid, but that was better than hot she decided as she wiped it gently across Mary’s face.

Not knowing exactly what to do, Wolf started pacing, holding the baby out in front of him as if she were made of glass. He was aware of Caroline leaning over the bed, crooning to his sister-in-law, and wished there was something he could do to help, but was almost afraid to take his eyes off the tiny blood-smeared baby cradled in his hands. He wanted to ask if she was cut or something but figured Caroline would know if something needed to be done... at least he hoped she would.

He was wondering where he’d left his musket when Caroline called him to the bed. The baby wasn’t whimpering anymore, and Wolf was glad he didn’t have to hand a crying baby over to her mother when he noticed Mary was awake.

“Let me hold her.” Mary’s voice was weak. Caroline took the infant, laying her carefully on Mary’s chest. The wisp of a smile that lifted Mary’s lips was gone almost before Wolf saw it, but he couldn’t help responding in kind. It wasn’t till he noted the serious expression wrinkling Caroline’s brows that he sobered.

But Caroline went on talking in that soft, low way she had, telling Mary how beautiful her daughter was and how proud she should be.

It wasn’t till he left the room to look for his musket, thinking he must have left it in the parlor, that he guessed anything was wrong.

Caroline was bent over the bed, cleaning Mary... finally using the water he’d heated and reheated... so he was surprised when she followed him into the hallway, shutting the door behind her.

The only light came from the single candle he’d lit in the parlor, but it showed him enough of Caroline’s expression to see her distress. “What is it?”

“I’m concerned about Mary.” Caroline wrapped her arms tightly about her waist and walked to the window. Outside the moonlight silvered the oak leaves that clung stubbornly to the limbs despite the cold air. She watched a raccoon scurry across the clearing before turning back to Wolf. He stood silently by the fireplace. “She’s so weak.”

“Perhaps she’s tired,” he responded with a lift of his brow. “You’re exhausted yourself, aren’t you?”

Caroline’s laugh was self-deprecating. “She certainly has a right to be worse off than me.” Her gaze sought again the peace and beauty of the outside. “I just wish I knew more about caring for her.”

“You did fine.”

The words were spoken low and close. Caroline hadn’t heard him move, but now when she looked around he was right behind her, looming over her. His nearness was disconcerting enough to make her twist back toward the window. Her head dropped forward till what was left of her topknot brushed against the chilled pane.

“Mary was lucky to have you here.” Wolf resisted the urge to taste the delicate curve of her exposed neck.

“I didn’t know what to do. If she wouldn’t have told me...” Caroline let the rest of that thought go unsaid.

“But she did tell you,”

With that she looked around at him, her blue eyes serious. “I think you were right when you saw me in Charles Town. I don’t belong here.”

“What made you come to that conclusion?”

He hadn’t actually taken a step away from her, it only seemed as if he had. “Oddly enough it wasn’t the attack, or even being kept prisoner.”

“What then?”

Caroline took a deep breath. “Knowing that Mary might die... and I wasn’t able to save her.”

“Don’t you think you’re taking a lot on yourself?”

“’Tis an odd thing for you to say.” When he raised his brow quizzically, she continued. “You seem to think you’re responsible for keeping peace between the Cherokee and the English.”

His grin was brief. “We are not discussing me. It is you who seem to have some mistaken notion that you are not suited for this place.”

“I’m only accepting what you’ve known from the first.”

“I was wrong.”

“What?” Caroline’s face tilted up toward his.

“I mistook your fragile appearance as an indication you had little inner strength. It was an error on my part.”

“Why do I feel this apology does not come easy for you.”

The smile lasted longer this time. It transformed his face. Still breathtakingly handsome, he didn’t appear so fierce. “I have made many mistakes, Caroline.”

Was one of them making love with her? Caroline turned toward the window before she was tempted to ask. Her eyes drifted shut when she felt his hand cup her shoulder.

“I will take a look outside. When I return, I shall sit with Mary awhile so you can rest.”

Caroline could still feel the warmth of his touch after she watched him skirt the clearing and disappear into the shadowy forest. Only then did she return to the downstairs bedroom.

Mary’s fever came on the third day.

The night before as Caroline walked the fretting baby back and forth across the parlor, Wolf had asked when she thought Mary and the baby could be moved. He was anxious to see them safely behind the log walls of Fort Prince George.

“I don’t know,” Caroline had snapped, then stopped in the middle of the rug and turned to him. It wasn’t his fault Mary showed no improvement. Or that the baby seemed to whimper all the time. But he knew as well as she that Mary couldn’t travel. She could barely make it out of bed to attend to her private needs.

Without saying a word, he’d stepped forward and took the tiny bundle from her arms. The infant didn’t stop fussing but at least Caroline could sit down. She was so tired of late, and knowing the reason didn’t help.

She had apologized for her tone. He had accepted with a nod of his head. And they’d decided to discuss the possibility in the morning.

Caroline had set up a pallet in the room Mary used. She slept lightly, listening as a mother would for any sounds the baby made. Mary had named the child Colleen for Logan’s mother. When Colleen fussed, Caroline rose, and after changing her diaper, carried her to Mary to nurse.

Those were the only times Mary seemed to have any energy. She’d bring her hand up to rub the baby’s fuzzy head and croon to her softly.

“She really is beautiful,” Mary would whisper to Caroline. “She’s like her father.”

Caroline always agreed, telling Mary how wonderful the small child was, and how happy Logan would be when he came home. And all the while she worried that Mary didn’t seem to improve, and the baby only suckled halfheartedly.

But this morning, Mary didn’t say anything. Dawn was just beginning to lighten the sky outside, though she’d heard Wolf leave the house for his morning swim before Colleen started whimpering.

“Mary,” Caroline said as she rocked the fussing baby in her arms. “Your daughter is hungry.”

Mary’s moan sent shivers down Caroline’s spine. Quickly she put the baby back in the hickory cradle that had been her father’s. This brought a louder wail from the child, but Caroline paid no mind as she leaned over the bed. Mary’s skin was hot and dry to the touch. Burning.

Not knowing what else to do, Caroline rushed to the pitcher on the commode, but it was empty. The pail was gone, but she couldn’t wait for Wolf to finish bathing and come back with more water.

“I have to go to the river,” she announced though neither of the room’s other occupants seemed to understand or care. “I’ll be right back.”