My Only Regret (Twisted Fate Book 1) (4 page)

Thank you for showing me what it feels like to let go and forget my own name, even if it was only for one night.

For the record, my name is Rhyann Michaels, and I hope that someday our paths cross again and I am able to repay the favor and make you forget your name. As for me, your name is one I will never forget, nor do I ever want to.

Forever grateful, Rhyann

I
didn't hear from him after that night. The reasonable side of me knew I never would, but I'd be lying if I told you that a part of me kind of hoped that he would look me up. Not long after that night, I read online that his band, Twisted Fate, had been signed by a famous producer, and I knew that someone like me would never be able to keep up with someone as wild and free as Jesse Montgomery. Yeah, thanks to the media, I now had a last name to go with the man I still dreamed of. The man who showed me how it felt to be desired. The only man to show me what love could feel like, without actually loving me at all. Even if he was on to bigger and better things, I was thankful for the time that we shared. But secretly, I hoped that one day our paths would cross again.

CHAPTER ONE

Two years later

Y
ou
’
re an ass!
”
I screamed at my boss, Steve, as I attempted to shove him off me. The color drained from his face as the words left my mouth. He had been ordering me around from the moment I arrived at work this morning. Hell, he had been ordering me around for the past two years, I never really thought too much of it before, after all he was my boss. It wasn’t unusual for him to be in a bad mood, but lately I had been on the receiving end of what I could only refer to as cruel and unusual punishment. Nothing I did seemed to be good enough for him. Our working relationship had started off rocky with him leering at me on a daily basis, but that was as far as it went. Then, that all changed during one drunken night in Vegas six months ago when I rebuked his affections. From that point forward he began speaking to me in harsher tones and gave me mindless projects that were well beneath my abilities. I knew what he had been trying to do; he wanted to wear me down in hopes that I would welcome his advances, seeing them as a way out of the hell I had spiraled into. But I didn’t break. Instead, I arrived at work every day with a smile on my face, hopeful that things would be better, that’s what I’m good at, pretending things are okay even when they are really, really bad.
 

This morning, on my way into the office, he had texted asking if I would stop by the mall during lunch and pick up a birthday gift for his wife. I ran the errand and grabbed a quick coffee at my favorite café before heading back up the stairs to my office. I had just knocked on Steve’s door to drop off the gift when he asked me to meet with him. I should have known something was off when he locked the door behind me, and casually closed the blinds. I had just placed the gift on his desk when I felt him snake an arm around my waist as he brushed his lower half up against my hip. I immediately tensed and tried to pull away, knowing what was coming next. He would most likely start off with something sensual, or at least what he considered to be sensual, and then back it up with something vulgar, before finally becoming downright mean and nasty. It was always the same story. There was a part of me that asked myself why I hadn’t just given in to him, thus putting an end to the cold treatment, but my pride and self-esteem wouldn’t allow me to cave. I was grateful for that. I may have been optimistic, but I wasn’t a fool. Giving in to his sexual desires would have only appeased him for a while, eventually he would have become bored with me and I would have found myself looking for a new job.
 

“
Come on baby, you know you want it,
” he hissed. I felt the nasty wetness of his spittle smacking against my cheek, and it was all I could do not to throw up
.
I wiped my hand furiously across my face to remove any residue of him.
 

“
You
’
re delirious, why would you think I want you? You haven’t been nice to me in the two years I've worked for you. The only time you pay attention to me is when you're trying to get in my pants.”

He ran a finger down the length of my arm before responding, leering at me the whole time. “Now that’s no way to speak to your boss, Ms. Michaels.
Come home with me tonight and let me make it up to you. My wife is out of town.
”
His voice was thick and his breath smelled of alcohol. That had to be the reason for his boldness. He may have been inappropriate in the past, but he had never spoken to me like this, not when he knew it could cost him his career. He may be acting reckless now, but he was a smart man, he knew I wouldn't report him. I needed this job.
 

He yanked hard on my arm, pulling me to him as his other hand reached up and squeezed my breast. “Don’t be a tease. I’ve seen the way you look at me.” His gaze drifted down my body before his lips brushed over my ear. “You wear these sexy skirts and tight sweaters that reveal your tits. It’s hard for a man to think about anything else when he knows that something as delicious as you is sitting just outside his office.” I felt the tip of his tongue snake over the shell of my ear and a sickening chill ran through my body. “I know you think about being spread out over my desk. I’m about to make your dreams come true.”
 

What? My mind is racing. Nothing, I repeat, nothing could have been further from the truth. Steve Nelson was the kind of man that most women wouldn’t take a second look at. He was of average height, and in fairly good shape, but his blonde curly hair and crooked teeth left a lot to be desired. I preferred men with dark good looks and a nice smile. Based on my observations of Steve during the course of my employment I would safely assume that the only reason his wife had settled had been because of the large bankroll that came with him. He had come from money and, thanks to his father’s legacy in the legal world, had made partner faster than any one else at Morton & Waters.
 

As I listened to the words coming out of his vile mouth, I decided that I couldn’t take another second of his abuse, alcohol induced or not. The anger that I felt with myself for sitting idly by for months while allowing him to get off on causing me emotional grief spilled out in one giant force. I turned to face him and he thought that I was about to kiss him. Instead, I brought my knee up hard making direct contact with his groin causing him to double over in pain.

 
“You bitch!” he yelled, gasping and coughing as he struggled to right himself.

“
Go to hell! I’ve never had any desires or fantasies about you. You’re disgusting, and I quit.
” I couldn’t believe I was actually having this conversation out loud. I had rehearsed it over and over in my head before, but never thought it would come to fruition. Now that the words were out there it felt like a really bad nightmare and I wanted desperately to wake up. What had I done to deserve this type of treatment? I had never given him any indication that I was remotely interested in having sex with him.
 

“You can’t quit. Y
ou
’
re fired Rhyann. You hear me? Fired. You will never work in this city again,
”
he grunted, still bent over in pain. I silently prayed his junk would split in two.
 

“
Good, I have put up with enough of your crap these past two years to last me a lifetime.
” I raised my leg and shoved a foot hard against his ass, knocking him to the floor. “That’s for the two years of hell you put me through. Asshole!”
I slammed the door and grabbed my belongings from my desk. I held my head high as I walked past all of the stunned faces that pretended not to have overheard what had just taken place less than fifty feet from them. As I made my way past their desks they refused to make eye contact, as if deeply engrossed in their computer screens. I had gotten used to it. For six years most of the employees had lived in a fantasy world created by management. Life in the office was perfect as far as they were concerned. The unspoken motto had been to keep your head down and mind your own business. As long as you kept your mouth shut you would get a nice bonus. Well, screw them all. For the past six months most of them had stood by and failed to report the heinous treatment I had endured. Even I had failed to report it, mostly out of fear. Well they could all deal with him now because I sure as hell wouldn’t be. I almost felt sorry for the poor sap that would replace me. Almost.

Once I stepped into the elevator, I had a moment to ponder what had just happened and felt an immediate sense of relief followed by nausea and self-doubt. I had saved enough money to get me through at least six months and still live comfortably, but finding a job might prove to be difficult. Steve had threatened to blackball me; he had a lot of connections in the city. I had been an administrative assistant for the past five years, it was truly all I knew how to do, and I was good at it.
 

A
s I drove home I called Trevor for moral support. We had been casually dating for the past month, but with both of us working long hours, it had been difficult finding time for one another. We had gone out on dates, and there had been a great deal of kissing and touching, but I hadn’t consented to anything beyond that. He was a great guy, but extremely selfish in many ways, and something about the way he acted led me to believe that he would never live up to the type of lover I needed him to be. I had known how amazing sex could be with the right man, and I'd told myself after that night that I would never again settle for anything less.

When I met Trevor I only started dating him because I was lonely. Mel had set us up on a blind date, thinking that it might be just a one-night stand. Ever since my wild night with a rockstar, she was forever trying to talk me into having sex with strangers, but I always brushed her off, knowing it wouldn't be the same. When Trevor and I met, we got along well enough and decided to give a relationship a try. He had been interning for several months at a local law firm and was trying to land a job at a firm in Portland. He had just returned from a second interview and I wanted to see how it had gone. After the third ring he picked up.
 

“Hey there, how was your day?” His voice sounded oddly upbeat. “Wait a minute, it’s the middle of the day, how are you calling me? Aren’t you at work?” He was painfully aware of Steve’s strict policy of not using the phone for private calls during work hours. I had probably spent far too many hours whining to him about my boss.
 

“No, I’m not at work, I’m in my car. Ugh! I had such a bad morning. I got fired or quit, I don’t really know which it was,” I sighed, loudly.

“Wow. You must have done something really bad to get fired. You were great at your job,” he replied, sarcastically. Leave it to Trevor to assume that I had done something to cause this. I had never told him about Steve’s groping hands. Trevor wasn’t the most sympathetic person I had ever met, which was a great quality to have if you were going to be a defense attorney. He was the type that wouldn’t have any trouble defending the bad guy. He was most likely embarrassed by the fact that I had gotten fired and his friends may hear about it. Trevor was a bit of a snob, and not the type of guy I would normally choose to spend my time with, but he was good looking and seemed to be attracted to me. He had come from a long line of lawyers with old money and, from what I could gather, his parents wouldn’t approve of someone with my pedigree, or lack thereof. The fact that he was even dating me had been a surprise to most of our friends. We were complete opposites.
 

“Gee, way to show support. I was great at my job,” I replied, rolling my eyes and knowing full well he couldn’t see me. He would have chastised me for such childish behavior. “How did the interview go?" I asked, trying to change the subject. "Great, I’ll bet. Are we still on for tonight?” There was a pause on the other end.

“Umm, about that, we need to talk. Let’s meet for an early dinner.”

Women’s intuition kicked in immediately, and I knew what was coming my way, he had gotten the job. “Nooo…Let’s talk now.”
 

“Nothing’s wrong babe. I just want to see your beautiful face. Please…” The softness in his voice was just the salve I needed right now. I gave in and agreed to meet him at his apartment.
 

I made it home and jumped in the shower, feeling dirty from Steve’s hands touching me. I guess I was still in shock from what had happened. I should have seen it coming, and cursed myself for being naïve. It wasn't like I was a stranger to disappointment, I'd watched my parent's marriage fall apart when I was a young child. One day, at the tender age of eight, I heard him arguing with my mom, telling her that he had fallen out of love with her. I watched helplessly as he walked out the door with his suitcase. I stared after him through a thin pane of glass in my bedroom, watching as he placed the suitcase in his trunk before climbing in and starting the car. He backed out of the driveway and never once looked back. Naturally, my mom struggled trying to make ends meet as a single mom, and she made sure to never let me forget that putting your trust in a man was a foolish thing to do. She always said that most men did their thinking with the wrong head, and that one usually gave out long before the one that actually contained a brain. I listened with open ears, mainly because I didn't know any better, but as I grew older that didn't deter me from falling for the wrong guy on more than one occasion. Still, with everything I had been taught in my young twenty-five years, I should have known better.
 

I wrapped up in the shower and finished getting ready for my date. I wasn’t sure what he had planned for tonight but in my heart I knew he was leaving. There was no way he hadn’t gotten the job, he was a perfect fit for that firm. He knew it, and so did I. I took great care in styling my hair just the way he liked it, and made sure to wear the perfect outfit, one that accented all of my curves. Tonight was the night I was finally going to sleep with him, even though I knew he was leaving. Tonight, I needed to be held by someone that at least pretended to care for me. I needed the comfort of warm, familiar hands roaming my body.
 
I longed for sweet words to be whispered in my ear, even if they were lies. Yes, that was exactly what I needed because I wanted to forget everything else. Tonight would be different though, because for a few moments I would allow myself to believe them.