My Only Regret (Twisted Fate Book 1) (20 page)

I pushed the door open and saw them, locked in the middle of a passionate kiss. His hands were at his side and she had one hand on his waist while the other was stroking him. The mystery woman was Amber Sky, the only other woman Jesse had been in love with. My heart sank. He had waited five years to hear her profess her love. Why had she chosen this moment to finally tell him? Would he believe her? How would he respond now that he was married to me? He told me that I was the only one for him.
 

I stumbled back, bumping against the doorframe, and let out a garbled cry. Jesse’s head snapped around and he pushed away from Amber, moving toward where I stood. I turned to make a run for it but changed my mind when I saw the smug look on her face, reminding me of the woman who had assaulted me just hours ago. Damn these women thinking they had claim on my husband. He was mine. He had publicly professed his love for me and I had every right to take what was mine.

“Ryann, this isn’t what it looks like.”

“Get your hands off my husband you whore,” I snarled. She guffawed rudely and sauntered over to where I stood. I calmly moved myself between her and Jesse, effectively staking claim.
 

“It’s only a matter of time before he comes crawling back to me. He always does. He’ll get bored with you, and when he does, I’ll be waiting.” She reached out an arm in an attempt to touch Jesse one last time but I caught her by the wrist and held it firmly.

“I’m only going to say this once, so pay attention. If you come near him again, regardless if he seeks you out first, and I find out about it,” I pause as I move my face closer to hers, “I’ll kick your scrawny ass. Am I making myself clear?”

She gave me a nasty glare and stepped back. “Goodbye, for now,” she trilled, blowing a kiss on her way out the door.

“Bitch,” I muttered after her. Jesse placed a hand on my arm and I pulled away in anger.

“Babe--” he began.

“No,” I cut him off. “Don’t say a word.” I spun on my heel and marched toward the exit, needing to put some temporary distance between us. “I need to be alone.”

“Rhyann?” he pleaded as I continued walking. I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to follow me or leave me to myself. I made my way slowly back to our suite and slipped quietly inside, feeling a bit uncertain of my hasty retreat. Should I have given him a chance to explain? Trusting men wasn’t my strong suit. It wasn’t like me to hand it over so freely, and yet that was exactly what I had done with him. Somehow, it had been different with him.

I was in the bedroom taking off my clothes when he came through the door. “Rhyann!” he called, as he made his way to the bedroom. He came over and took me by the arms. “Why did you run? You didn’t give me a chance to explain.”

“What is there to explain Jesse? The woman you’ve loved all these years finally admitted that she loves you. I saw you two kissing. She was practically giving you a hand job in there! I’m sure you want to run back to her arms now. Go ahead, I’m not going to stop you.”

“You are my wife, remember? I want to live happily ever after with you. I just told five thousand fucking people that I'm in love with you, doesn’t that prove anything? She means nothing to me.” He reached out a hand to touch me and I pulled back again.

“No,” I shook my head. “You don’t get to touch me after she touched you. I need you to you stay away from me for a bit. I’m not sure I can trust you right now, and if there’s no trust,” I threw up my hands, “then maybe our wedding was a mistake,” I cried big, ugly tears.
 

I felt Jesse pull me backwards and I instinctively brought my fist around to punch him. I would have made contact with his nose, but his reflexes were quick, and he caught it, grabbing both of my wrists. He held them firmly behind my back and brought his lips to mine, giving me a rough kiss. I fought hard against him and tried to pull back, but he had me pinned against him. His lips claimed me once again, and I couldn’t help myself, I responded by parting mine for his tongue to slip inside. I teased mine with his, leaning further into his body, and felt him start to loosen his hold on me. I smiled against his mouth before biting down hard on his tongue.

“Fuck!” he groaned, reaching for his mouth. I took that opportunity to try and escape. I ran quickly, nearly reaching the living room, before he caught up and grabbed me from behind. The momentum of the two of us colliding propelled us forward and we both crashed to the floor. Thankfully, Jesse twisted his body to take the brunt of the fall, and I landed mostly on top of him. He cursed loudly as his shoulder made contact with the hard marble. I scrambled to get back up, but he reached out, wrapping his arms around my waist, and pulled me on top of him. I looked into his eyes and they were dark and wild, just like the night of Stefani’s party, and I couldn’t resist him any longer. I crushed my mouth against his and all of the anger I felt came out in that one kiss. I teased my tongue along the front of his teeth before slipping it inside his warm and waiting mouth. I slid my hands down and tore at the zipper of his pants, lifting the hem of his shirt to yank it over his head. I pushed him back against the floor and danced my tongue over his defined pecs, before moving back to his mouth. I laved my tongue slowly against his and ran my hand back and forth along his length. He sat up, and before I knew it I was on all fours. He stripped the leather roughly from my body and, without care, entered me from behind.
 

“I love you,” I whispered softly, as he rammed his fullness into my needy body. I wasn't sure if he heard me, but he didn’t respond. No other words were spoken. Gone was his usual tenderness, this was rough and dirty. This was angry sex. Both of us went in knowing that, I just prayed we would come out unscathed. I bucked wildly, crying out incoherently while he continued to move deep within me, moaning heavily against my ear. His fingers found my swollen sex and soon I screamed his name as I climaxed around him.
 

When it was over, we collapsed to the floor, completely exhausted. I moved my hand to his in an attempt to heal any damage that may have been done, but he brushed it off, instead choosing to roll over and wander into the bathroom to take a shower. I brought my legs up around me and felt the effects of our encounter spilling down my leg.
 

Do not cry
. I scolded myself, brushing away a tear as it escaped.
 

I got up slowly and walked into the smaller bathroom. I looked in the mirror at my reflection. I was a hot mess. My shirt was torn and my hair was plastered to my forehead with perspiration. I had just begun cleaning myself up when I heard a soft knock on the door.

“Can I come in?”

“I don’t think so. I need to take a shower,” I replied hoarsely, sliding down to the floor with my back against the wall.

“Rhyann, we need to talk about this. I really don’t want to do that with a door between us. I want to see your face.” He rattled the doorknob. “Please.” I remained silent, and after a few moments he continued talking. “I’m sorry about being so rough with you. You just made me so angry. You wouldn’t listen to me. I don’t know what to do here Rhyann. I’m crazy about you. I'm in love with you and I don’t want anyone else.”
 

“Go away.” My voice quivered. “Please. I told you I can’t do this right now.”

“No!” his hand slammed hard against the door and I jumped. “So just like that you’re going to bail on me? On us?”

“I’m broken, Jesse. I have fears about love and some serious fucking trust issues, and tonight you crossed an invisible line that I am not sure I can move past.” The thought of losing him was more than I could bear, but not knowing for sure if I could trust him the way he needed me to scared the hell out of me.
 

“Please go away. I just need some time to think,” I pleaded softly. “I can’t compete with her. I won’t. I’ll only lose.” Silence…

“Rhyann, open the damn door!” he pounded harder this time. “I’ll fucking break it down! You don’t have to compete with her. Please, I need to see your face. Don’t do this baby. I don’t love her anymore. I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I’m begging you, please talk to me.”
 

My resolve finally broke and I turned the knob to let him in. I stared into his tear filled eyes and then it hit me, he'd told me that he loved only me. "You love me?" I'd been so afraid when I heard Amber professing her love. I thought for sure he would hear that and realize that he had never really loved me at all.

"With everything I am." He knelt beside me and I broke down and cried, big wet sobs, against his chest. “Honey, I know it’s hard, but I need for you to trust me. I didn’t want her touching me and you just happened to walk in when she grabbed me.” He held me, running a hand repeatedly over my back.

“I’m a mess Jesse. I’m scared that I won’t be able to give you what you need, what you deserve,” my lips trembled against my fingertips.

Soft lips pressed against my temple as he pulled me into his lap. “You’ve already given me what I needed most, you gave me your heart and your hand in marriage. I’m going to do everything I can to prove to you that you can trust me. I love you so much.” He held me close, rocking me against him. I silently prayed that we could make this work.
 

We had only been married for one day and already had our first fight and angry sex. I didn’t have a whole lot of experience with love, but it didn’t take an expert to figure out that wasn’t a good way to start off a marriage.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Y
ou’re married?” Mel shrieked, effectively drawing the attention of every customer in the coffee shop. I narrowed my eyes at her, encouraging her to lower her voice a few notches. She leaned in closer, “I’m sorry but how the hell did that happen? How could you do that to me?” she pouted.

“I’m sorry,” I shrugged. “We were caught up in the moment, not to mention a bit drunk. If it makes you feel any better no one else was there to witness it.” I was hoping to try and soften the blow by pointing out that little nugget, maybe then she would calm down.
 

I had known this was going to come as a shock to her. Hell, I was there and it was still a bit of a shock to me. Looking back, I suppose that after our initial night together I had fantasized about what it would be like to be in his arms night after night, not just for the amazing sex, but to know what it felt like to be held by him, and to be someone that he truly adored. Accepting someone's love for me hasn't been easy since my father left when I was only eight years old. He walked away and never looked back. Over the years my mom made sure to point out the flaws of every man she dated, and being young and impressionable I picked up on her inability to trust another man. I, too, found myself unable to place my complete trust in someone that could destroy you by giving up. I wasn't lying when I told Jesse I was broken. When it came to love I had fears that ran deep, but somehow those fears hadn't kept me from falling for him. I think, in some small way, they are what made me want him even more. I'd known that he was a player from the moment we met, but don't all women desire a challenge? Before Jesse came into my life my answer to that question would have been a resounding no, but now… Now I know that playing it safe is an option I no longer have.

“Really?” she huffed. “Well, that does help just a little.” She broke off a small piece of her blueberry muffin. “So, Mrs. Jesse Montgomery, how do you feel? Any different?”

“Other than sore?” I giggled, shaking my head at the smug look on her face. Mel had always told me that a great night of sex could change your outlook on everything. For once, I have to agree with her. “Not really, it's almost surreal, you know? I mean, we went from casual sex to one week of dating and then marriage all within the same month. Who does that?” My fingers tore at the paper napkin. “I love him, and he loves me, but trust is still a big piece of the puzzle I'm struggling to make fit. Right after we got married, they were performing and he called me up on stage and sang to me in front of thousands of people. Then, right after, utter chaos took place and before I knew it, I was rolling around on the floor wailing on some psycho fan that was attacking me. We go from that scene to a wedding party backstage and then I walk out to find him locked in a kiss with his ex-girlfriend. The whole thing was crazy.”
 

“No shit. What the hell did you do when you found him in that skanks arms?” Mel had been a fan of Twisted Fate long before I started working for Jesse. After Jesse had told me about his first love, Mel had been the one to fill me in on stories of their relationship, based on information she had read online. I made it a point not to search out anything about him on online. I know it sounds naïve but I think I was afraid it would destroy the image I had built for him in my own mind.

“I confronted her of course, told her I would kick her ass if I caught with my husband again,” I retorted.

“Damn straight!” she snapped. “Then what?”

“I was pissed. He tried to explain things to me but I stalked off and went back to the hotel room. He came in and we tried to talk, but I couldn’t calm down, so we fought.”

“Verbally?” Mel cut me off.

“No, physically,” her mouth gaped open but I continued. “Well, I tried to hit him but he deflected it and pinned me to the wall, trying to calm me down. I was pissed at him for allowing her to touch him, and he was pissed at me for not letting him explain and not trusting him. Anyway, one thing led to another and we had some pretty physical sex. Afterwards, we were still too angry to see straight, and when we finally calmed down we talked and worked everything out. Needless to say it wasn’t a pretty honeymoon.”

“Sounds like you haven’t had a honeymoon at all,” Mel mumbled.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” I smirked. “We’ve definitely made up for it in the sex department.”

“So, everything’s okay now?”

“I still have trust issues, I’m afraid I always will, but we are definitely compatible sexually. We've never had an issue in that department.” We collapsed into a fit of girlish giggles, attracting the attention of customers once again. After I composed myself I wiped my eyes and grabbed one of Mel’s hands between mine. “I’m really sorry you weren’t there with me when I got married. If I could do it all over again I would have waited.”