My Only - Alex & Jamie (6 page)

Then, at age eighteen, her world had been turned upside down and flipped inside out. For the last six years she had just been in Survival Mode. There was no room for vanity in Survival Mode.

Thankfully she was no longer living at ‘code blue’ level. She was grateful for that. But she didn't attribute that to luck, or the intervention of some outside force. The only reason her life had stabilized was because she had pulled herself out of that dire situation by making The Plan, sticking to The Plan, and not letting anything distract her from The Plan - especially not things as inconsequential as her hair, cosmetics, or the latest fashion trends!

That's why all of this was so drastically out of character. And the worst part? She knew these new fixations were merely symptoms of a much greater, much scarier, distraction. A six-foot-one, one-hundred-and-ninety pound, brown-haired, green-eyed, sexy-as-hell distraction. And that distraction was currently residing on her floor.

Oh Lord!

Pulling her keys out of the ignition, she took a deep, shaky breath. As she reached for the door knob she noticed her hand was shaking. Oh, come on. This was getting ridiculous. She seriously needed to get a grip!

--- ~ ---

Alex lay in his bed, eyes closed, as relaxed as he could be under the circumstances. He had been dozing on and off for the past hour, trying to rest. It was difficult though, because he was in fairly severe discomfort. The doctors had all advised him that he should be taking advantage of the pain medication at his disposal. They all said the same thing; that it would actually expedite the healing process. This was due to the fact that the pain he was experiencing was draining him of the energy his body needed to recover and was causing him to be exhausted – mentally, physically, and emotionally.

He did not heed their advice. Maybe they knew medicine, but they didn't know him. He could white-knuckle his way through the pain. Pain, although not fun, was something he could deal with. But what he couldn't deal with – what he had always hated more than anything in the world, in fact - was the feeling of being out of control. He needed to be aware of his surroundings at all times.

He couldn’t stand the fog that the medication put him in. He was still taking small dosages, but he was careful to make sure that it was just enough to take the edge off, and not enough to make him feel foggy-brained.

The sounds of whispering interrupted his inner thoughts. He listened as Vickey spoke to someone in hushed tones.

“He's doing better. Just keep him lying down and resting. If you can, that is. If he gets visitors -
approved
visitors, mind you - you can step outside and wait at the nurse’s station until they leave. But make
sure
that you high-tail it back in here as soon as they exit. We’ve had several breaches in security and it wasn’t pretty.”

“Got it.”

He knew that voice. He opened his eyes and he saw
her
. It was Jamie. His Jamie. Looking at her now, he saw that she was even more beautiful than his distorted memory had led him to believe. And his memory had been no slouch in that department - it had led him to believe that she was H-O-T.

He felt his heart rate begin to speed up. He didn’t remember a lot about his first night in the hospital. Over the last few days he had been having only brief flashes of random memories (some clear as day – others fuzzy) that he had been trying to piece together in his mind like a jigsaw puzzle.

He remembered being in the E.R. with Garret. Then his family all being gathered in his room. But mostly, he remembered Jamie.

Sadly, he had no idea if he had actually even spoken to her. And he wasn’t really sure how long she had been there, with him, that night. But, he remembered other things.

He clearly recalled her beauty. Her voice. Her scent. And his most powerful and most frequent memory had been the way he felt when he looked at her. He remembered getting an overwhelming primal sense that she was
his
. His Jamie.

He thought maybe that had stood out to him because it was the first time he had ever experienced that particular emotion. He had never even felt anything close to it, not even in his more serious relationships.

In fact, several of the women he had dated in the past had complained about the fact that he was never jealous or possessive of them. In their minds, they had somehow equated his level of caring and commitment to them with whether or not he demonstrated the need to
possess
them. Needless to say, he had come up severely lacking in that department.

Alex had never understood that line of reasoning. It made absolutely no sense to him. He had always maintained that jealousy and possessiveness were useless emotions. If someone wanted to be with you, great. But, if they wanted to be with someone else? Well, more power to them! What purpose did either of those feelings serve, other than to make you miserable?

As he stared at Jamie now, the same visceral response that he had the first night he saw her welled up inside of him, maybe even stronger than before. So, it wasn’t a fluke, he thought. Interesting.

He had been thinking that it was a very good possibility, since he was so out of it that night, that he had actually imagined how strong his reaction to her had been. But, nope. That did not seem to be the case at all.

The women were standing close to the door. Vickey was partially blocked by the light yellow privacy curtain that had been pulled out to protect him from prying eyes. But he had a clear view of his brown-haired beauty.

“Sweet Pea, you look a little tired. I know you’re working over at The Grill, in addition to here. Are you okay? I don’t want you burning the candle at both ends.” Vickey’s quiet voice was laced with worry.

Alex had known Vickey his whole life, and he reasoned that she must really like this girl. She was not one to suffer fools gladly, that was for sure. He knew that if she was concerned about Jamie then she had a reason to be. A sudden rush of protectiveness swept through him.

Great, he thought, let’s just add that to the jealousy and possessiveness I'm already feeling. That’ll be fun.

“I’m good, honestly. This work schedule is nothing for me.” Jamie’s face broke into a wide smile and he felt it spread through his body like a shot of whiskey. Damn.

Vickey did not seem impressed with her assurances, “I know. I read on your application that you held down two jobs the entire time you were a full-time student. But, it can catch up with you, believe me. You need to take care of yourself.”

“I know, thanks. I will.” Her voice cracked just a little as she spoke and she lightly touched Vickey's arm in clear gratitude. Alex also noticed her eyes tearing up. She seemed genuinely touched by Vickey’s concern. Man! She was sweet, hard-working...and let's not forget smokin’ hot. Talk about the ‘holy trifecta.’

“Okay, but I’ll be watching you,” Vickey said in a maternal tone that left no room for argument. “Let me just check on our patient before I head out…”

Alex quickly shut his eyes. He loved Vickey to death but he wanted her to leave as soon as possible so that he could be alone…with Jamie.

He heard the curtain rustle then fall back into place.

“Good, he’s still resting. When he wakes up, see if you can get him to take his pain meds. He is being particularly stubborn when it comes to them. I’ll be right down the hall if you need me.”

He heard the door click open and then quietly shut. He looked over at Jamie who stood with her back to him, facing the door. He watched her shoulders rise and fall as she took a deep
breath. She then reached up and touched her ponytail, running her fingers smoothly from where it was fastened at the base right down to the curly, lush tip.

It stirred something inside of him. Holy shit, even her fingers were sexy!

She slowly turned around and, as their eyes met, he was hit with a warm jolt of arousal. She must have felt it too because she jumped back slightly.

Placing her hand to her chest, she let out a forced laugh. “You scared me. I thought you were sleeping.”

Okay, so maybe she hadn’t felt
exactly
what he had. Bummer.

She smiled warmly as she made her way to his bedside.

He felt his palms get sweaty and his already-racing heart was quickly picking up speed.

“How are you feeling today?” she asked as she checked the bags that contained antibiotics and saline hanging from his I.V. stand.

“Good,” he replied. He wanted to say more but his brain seemed to have short-circuited at her nearness.

As she moved closer to him, inspecting his lines and making sure that there were no kinks or bubbles in them, he inhaled deeply. She smelled sweet and fresh, exactly how he had remembered. It was delicious.

Seeing her up-close and personal with a clear-head for the first time, Alex was blown away. She was…breathtaking.

When she caught him staring at her, her mouth turned up at the corners. “Hi. I’m Jamie,” she said, her voice sounding a little shaky.

“I know.” The arousal coursing through him caused his voice to have a gravely edge to it. “I remember.”

“Oh.” Her lips parted and as he lifted his gaze to meet hers, and he noticed her eyes widen. A slight blush crept up her neck and spread through her cheeks. “You were pretty out of it the other night so I wasn’t sure.”

He saw her shiver as she quickly moved away. She stepped down to the foot of his bed and picked up the chart that was hanging on the end of it. Her eyes were cast down as she looked to be scanning each page thoroughly. Alex took advantage of her attention being directed elsewhere and studied her every feature.

He wanted to take it all in – her honey-kissed skin, long and dark eyelashes, shapely arched brows, full lips, button nose, high cheekbones….

Man, he could stare at her forever.

“So it says here that you are refusing some of your dosages of Morphine against doctors’ orders.”

He didn’t answer her, remaining silent for a couple of reasons. First, she had made a statement, not asked a question. So, technically he was not obligated to give her a response. Second, and by far the most compelling reason for his silence – he simply didn’t have a clue what to say to her.

Normally, you put a pretty girl in front of him, and Alex felt beyond at ease - he was in his element. He had never struggled with the same issues he had seen other guys deal with while in the presence of attractive members of the opposite sex.

He had ‘game’ if you will. People had often accused him of having a ‘flirting’ chromosome in his DNA. Anytime he was around females, he would just open his mouth and the charm would flow out of him like a river. It was a beautiful thing. But it appeared that Jamie was the kryptonite to his mojo because he couldn’t think of an opening line if his life depended on it.

“Want to tell me why you’re refusing to take them?”

Well, that was definitely a question.

“I don’t need them.” His tone came out sounding harsher than he had meant it to.

One of her perfectly shaped brows lifted, “Oh you don’t, huh?”

“Nope,” he barked.

Wow, he was a regular Don Juan.

“Oookaaay.” She set the chart down as she shook her head, obviously not convinced. “Well, I need to check your bandages.”

She moved to the left side of his bed and lowered the safety rail. He knew the drill so he leaned forward.

He felt her fingers brush against the nape of his neck as she untied his gown. The feather light touch sent an erotic tremor through his entire body. She gently pulled the gown off his shoulder and her hand lingered on his bicep, holding it in place. He looked down at his arm and swallowed. Hard. The sight of her delicate fingers undressing him was a serious turn-on.

Man, it was too bad this was just a clinical striptease. He wished like hell that it wasn’t, and that he was the one doing the stripping and she was the one losing the clothes - not the other way around.

He pictured himself slowly running his hands along the hem of her purple scrubs. His knuckles brushing against the soft, smooth skin of her belly, before pulling it up and over her head, revealing…

“This looks good,” she said as she tied him back up.

Whoa, what was he doing? He needed to lock that kind of thinking down. Immediately. Otherwise there was going to be some
pretty
significant (if he did say so himself!) physical evidence that his thoughts were veering to the naughty side of the road. He didn’t think pitching a tent underneath the thin hospital sheet would really go over so well.

He had never felt more off balance than he did at that very moment. He supposed that his being off-kilter could be attributed to the fact that he had been beaned in the head – or, he thought with a small half-smile, maybe in this case it was more appropriate to say he was
beamed
in the head.

Also, an argument could be made that some of his tongue-tied state could be attributed to the pain he was in (which was substantial). But, if he was honest, he was pretty certain that both of those things only played minor roles in his current state of ‘charm-paralysis’ - which, apparently, he had become afflicted with the second Jamie walked in the room.