Harmony is in the kitchen cutting up some cantaloupe. I thought she was at work? “Hi! What are you doing home?”
“I took the day off to spend it with Danny. The guys finally have nothing going on today, so it’s just a me and him day.”
“Cool.” I sit at the counter and hesitantly bring up the BBQ. I don’t know why I’m nervous to mention tonight. “So, uh, I was invited to the barbeque tonight. You going to be there?”
“Yep.” She puts down the knife, wipes her hands on a towel, then comes up to the counter with the bowl of cantaloupe. She leans against the counter. “So this thing with Wayne…it’s not just a fling is it?”
I had a feeling she was going to bring this up. “I really have no idea what it is,” I shrug. “He seems to want more than I do, which is shocking because we are so much alike, it’s scary.” I take a piece of fruit and eat it.
“Is it really that bad to want more, Mel? To be honest, I never would have thought Wayne would be the one instigating any form of a relationship. But seriously, what are you so afraid of?”
Everything
.
“Harm, I am not a one man woman, you know me.”
“I
do
know you, and it has nothing to do with hopping around the city with a string of men. It’s because of Mom and Dad. You’re afraid of losing him, like we did with them.”
“I’m scared every fucking day I am going to lose you too,” I slightly raise my voice. I’m frustrated. “So I cannot, no matter how much Wayne wants more with me or how much more of him I want, I can’t fall in love with him. I can’t bear to lose anyone else I love.”
“Look, I know your intentions are not to hurt anyone, but if you stay with Wayne, that’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to crush him, Mel. The more time you spend together, the harder it’s going to get. You better break it off with him before that happens.”
Harmony is absolutely right, but…he keeps reeling me in. I am not ready to let him go just yet. “I need to change. My bike’s ready.” I hop off the stool and go into my sister’s room to fetch some new clothes. I even pack a small overnight bag for tonight. I’m going to surprise Wayne with my decision.
Harmony follows me. “I’ll drop you off at the garage once you’re ready.”
I’m glad she dropped the subject. I don’t want to be upset right now, not when I am finally feeling a little bit like the old me again.
Right after Harmony drops me off, I pay for my bike and ride back over to Wayne’s house. The minute I park the bike in front of the house, I feel extremely guilty. What the fuck am I doing? I shouldn’t be leading him on. It’s so wrong. I can’t help it, though. I love the way he makes me feel. I love being with him. You’d think I would be the more wiser one considering our age difference, but in fact Wayne is. He’s smart, talented, intelligent and very giving. I don’t understand what makes him want to be with someone like me, who has no drive anymore, no intentions of a long term
anything
with anyone. I can’t say
forever
to him. It scares me too much.
Wayne walks outside before I get to his front door.
Holy lickable Rocker Boy
. He’s wearing a tight black tank, a pair of dark red skinny jeans and a hot grin that melts my panties.
Totally lickable
.
He jogs over to me just as soon as I get off the bike. “You look fucking sexy as hell on that thing, Sweetness. So hot.”
“Why thank you. I do love my bike. Maybe I’ll give you spin on it sometime?”
“Hell yes.” He kisses me, then takes my helmet and bag for me.
So Sweet.
“Really glad you came back and decided to stay the night again.”
“Well…you
did
forget to give me a grand tour of your house, so…”
“That I did. Come. I’ll take you around.” He grabs my hand, then leads me inside and shows me the rest of the house. The house isn’t huge, but it’s a gorgeous remodeled three bedroom home that is perfect for Wayne and Slim. The backyard is newly landscaped with a stunning swimming pool, a patch of grass in the back, a couple of fruit trees and nice patio with new furniture. The place is just amazing. “And we are back to where we started. You ready to practice?” He sure doesn’t waste any time.
I take a deep breath and say, “Yeah, I think so.”
“Good.” He takes me to the music/guest bedroom, and all of sudden I get a tightness in my chest. Fucking hell, I hope I don’t get another panic attack. Wayne notices my apprehension. “Don’t be nervous, Baby.” He takes me in his arms and rubs my back. “Remember, you’re not going to get perfect in one day, but you’ll definitely get your life back, soon. Here. I set up a little space for us.”
Get my life back.
I so want to get it back. Wayne makes it so easy for me to calm down. I sit down in a comfortable chair. He hands me his acoustic guitar, then sits in the chair that faces me and gives me a second to get acquainted with the instrument. “So, you’ll need to hold it upside down. You’re going to be learning differently than you did with your right. It takes time getting used to, but trust me, you’ll get it. You already know how to play it, but you are also retraining your brain on how to play with the left. Unfortunately it’s a right handed world and they rarely make left handed guitars. Sucks balls, but it’s true.”
Sucks balls is right.
“Wish we could just restring the guitar to make it easier.”
“Nope. Can’t do that. Making it easier defeats the challenge. This is half the fun,” he smirks at me.
“You’re nuts,” I giggle.
“Nuts about you, Sweetness.” He leans in and kisses me. “Okay, let’s get to work.” He smacks his hands together and becomes
Mr. Rocker Boy Teacher.
This side of him sure turns me on, but I know I need to put that aside and focus.
This learning how to do it with my left side is extremely hard. I’ve been going at it for almost thirty minutes and I have messed up too many times. I am so fucking aggravated! “Ugh! I can’t do this, Wayne. I suck so bad.”
“Look at me, Baby,” he gently tells me. “I told you, you weren’t going to fully get this back in one day. You need to give it time.”
I am almost in tears, I feel like such a whiney wimp. “What if time never helps?”
Wayne lets out an exhale. He’s really going to hate me after all this, I just know it. He takes the guitar out of my hands, places a grip on my thighs and forces me to look into his eyes. “You have to stop thinking like that and start thinking positive. Trust in yourself for once. You can do this if you set your mind to it.”
I close my eyes, shaking my head. I need to regroup and think positive. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m a patient guy.”
“Yes you are.” I have never met anyone so patient in all my life. Where the hell did this man come from?
“Ready to try again?” I nod my head yes. “Okay, good.” He places the guitar back in my lap and I start all over again.
After getting my brain back on track, I finally hit a few notes and begin to succeed. The song he has me playing is simple. Maybe in time I’ll get more complex music? It’s awkward using my left fingers to hit the main strings, yet after awhile it’s unbelievably wonderful. Who would have thought I’d be doing this after so many years of hiding my passion? I am feeling so alive again and so very grateful for Wayne’s guidance.
Every so often I would look up and find Wayne nodding his head, tapping his fingers on his knees like a drum. He’d wink at me and smirk. His confidence brings
me
confidence.
Once I finish the song and stop playing, I can’t help but smile and feel dorky. “See!” Wayne exclaims. “You got a few chords down. Nice. You feel good?”
I blush from his excitement. “Yeah, a little.”
“Good.” He takes away the guitar and places it up against the wall. “The more you practice, the better you’ll become.” He comes back over to me, then brings me into his arms and kisses me. I wrap my arms around his neck and relish the feeling of his mouth. “I have total confidence in you. Next time I wanna hear you sing.”
What?
“I haven’t sung in so long, I forgot what I sound like,” I lightly chuckle.
“Well…you wanna give it a go?”
“What?”
“You wanna sing? Not a hard question, Babe.”
“No. I’m not ready. What we just did today was enough for now.”
“Sure. No pressure, but…you will sing for me one day,” he lifts my chin and kisses me again. “Need to hear that smokin’ hot voice I know you have.”
Oh my, yes sir.
I shrug my one shoulder. “I
was
pretty hot back in the day.”
“Bet you’ll be even hotter now,” he grabs my ass, then whispers against my lips, “Stifling.”
We make out for a minute. It definitely is getting hot in the room. I pull away and tell him, “Thank you. What you’re doing for me. It means a lot.”
He caresses my cheek with his thumb. “Don’t you know by now I’d do anything for you? You’ve changed my life, Melody.”
I gulp. Wow, what the hell am I getting myself into? Before I can react or say something back, Slim knocks on the door and shouts, “The gang is here, you two! Grill is on!”
“Come, Sweetness, let's go see everyone.”
By meaning everyone - Faith, Lucky, Harmony, Danny, Jason, some girl I don’t know, (but she’s tall, skinny, long flowing hair, and dressed rather professional.) Pretty. June and Phillip are the last ones to arrive. Talk about having a BBQ get together. The room is filled with gorgeous people - of course that includes me. I don’t feel the least bit out of place or afraid someone is going to go after Wayne. I know he’s totally into me. I actually trust my rocker boy. Most everyone here has someone. They’re all in love and perfect for one another. I wish I could say that I was perfect for Wayne; he deserves someone who is all in. I am just taking it day by day, just like my guitar lessons.
We all head outside to the back with cocktails or beers in hand. I say hi to my sister and Danny, take a beer, sit back on the outdoor couch and listen to everyone mingle. The ladies and the guys have separated into two small groups catching up on the week. I’m usually an outgoing person, but I am taking it all in slowly. The sun is going down and the temperature is dropping. Slim lights the new fire pit. I brought my bathing suit just in case we use the hot tub. Me and Wayne in a steaming tub - yes please! Just the thought of us making out in that tub gets me excited. I watch Wayne interact with the band. He’s so animated with his hands, it’s really cute. Not only that but he loves the attention. He makes a scene by saying something raunchy or gets excited and makes everyone laugh. He’s not afraid to show his feelings, unlike me. He drinks the rest of his beer, then sees me gazing at him with a smile.
He comes over my way, sits next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulders. “Having a good time?”
I lean into his warmth. “Yes, but I am totally not used to small get togethers. I love going out, dancing, concerts, but small gatherings like this? Definitely a new thing.”
“If you stick with me, you’ll have many new things to add in your life.” He kisses the side of my head. I get the chills and look at him with a small frown. “What?” He asks.
I shake my head and chuckle, “Nothing. Forget it,” then take a drink of my beer.
“Hey, look at me.” I look into those blue windows again to hear him out. He seems to know exactly what I am thinking. He scares the shit out of me. “I know I can be a bit forthcoming - and it scares you - but I’m a passionate guy, and I know what I want when it’s right in front of me.”
“I’m not that woman you want, Wayne,” I gently remind him.
He swipes the end of my nose with his finger and kisses me softly on the lips. “You’re wrong, Baby,” he whispers out.
Again, I have no come back. He is always leaving me speechless. Once I finish off my beer, Slim announces, “So next week is my bro’s birthday!”
His birthday? Oh boy.
“I heard through the grapevine that there is a party going on at the Priest’s house, and we’re all invited. Let’s make this motherfucker’s birthday the best he’s ever had. Whad'ya say!” Pretty much everyone is all game into attending. I’m not so sure I am, though.
Jason whistles then shouts, “My little brother is finally turning into a man!” Everyone laughs when Wayne flips Jason off. I laugh too. These guys are a bunch of dorks. Yet their relationships are as tight as they come.
Once the laughter dies down, Wayne turns to me again. “I hope you’ll come with me. I want you to meet my parents’ and sister. Oh and I have the cutest niece, Raquel. You’ll love her.”
Shit. He’s got to be kidding
? “Not sure I’m ready to meet your family.”
“Please? For my birthday?” He pouts his bottom lip like a little boy, and it only makes me laugh. He is so fucking silly.
How can I turn down that gorgeous face and disappoint him on his birthday? “You don’t make things easy for me, Rocker Boy,” I sigh.
“That’s my plan,” he winks then gives me a quick kiss.
He is too much, and way too good for me. “I’m going to hang with the girls.”
Wayne swats my ass when I stand up from the couch. “Sexy ass,” he says. I wink back at him, then grab myself another beer.
I pop open the bottle of beer and sit next to the tall, skinny blondie.
“It’s going to be crazy that day,” Faith exasperates. She’s talking about Helene (Faith’s mom) and Gary. Gary is
JINKS’
music producer. At one of Faith’s many hotel parties, Gary and Helene hooked up and never parted ways. They announced their engagement the night I let Wayne eat me out on some conference table.
“I know right?” June laughs. “We have to go get our dresses soon or she’s going to have us by the throat.”
“I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen,” Faith chuckles her promise.
I’m taking another drink of beer when the girl beside me introduces herself. “Hi, I’m Lyric. I don’t think we’ve met.” She holds out her hand.
“Hey, I’m Melody.” I shake her hand back. “Harmony’s sister.”
“Oh! It’s nice to meet you. Are you in the wedding too?”
“No.”
“I hear it’s going to be the wedding of the year.”
“Looks like it,” I shrug. “So what’s your connection to the band?”
“I’m their manager.” Lyric takes a sip of her cocktail; some pink, foo foo drink.