Authors: Janet Tashjian

My Life as a Stuntboy (6 page)

BOOK: My Life as a Stuntboy

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I text Matt to tell him I won't be in school for the next two days and am surprised when he doesn't text me back. On another day, I might worry that he's still mad and things are getting strange between us, but this is not just any other day.

Since the movie studio insists a guardian accompany kids under eighteen, my dad volunteers. (Mom
has three feline surgeries scheduled so she declines.)

declines

concentration

On the drive to Culver City, Dad gives me lots of advice, most of which consists of telling me to FOCUS. People have been telling me to focus my entire life, but always on schoolwork; it's weird to get concentration advice about leaping and skateboarding.

Tony greets us at the security gate and shows Dad where to park. Dad doesn't bring a sketchpad with him the way he usually does, which means he plans on watching me every second. Tony introduces us to the director, a woman named Collette with wild brown hair overflowing from under her L.A. Dodgers baseball cap. Turns out she worked with Dad on a thriller a
few years ago, and she tells him she looks forward to working with me too.

“You and Tony take as much time as you need.” She bends down and gives me a wink. “As long as you're ready by tomorrowâ9 A.M.”

She laughs, but something tells me she's probably not kidding. Lucky for me, my job is to jump and climb, not study or read. As Uncle Bob says, “piece of cake.”

We walk to the set, and Tony bounces up and down like we're boxers stepping into a ring. “Let me give you some background,” he says. “The main character of the filmâa kid named Chrisâjust got back from a Halloween party and hears strange noises at the neighbor's house. Chris runs outside to check, the director
yells âcut,' then you get in place. When Collette yells âaction,' you run across the yard and climb up this.” Tony turns the corner and points to the tallest wall I've ever seen.

“What do you think?” he asks.

I don't answer because I'm already halfway up the wall.

What's Not to Like?

Surprisingly, Dad keeps to himself on the set. He sees a few acquaintances from other jobs and doesn't seem overly focused on me, which is a relief.

acquaintances

Tony appears happy with my climbing and gives a thumbs-up to the director when she comes by. He then drops me off in the wardrobe department to get fitted for
clothesâthe same outfit the actor will be wearing in the scene.

The costume designer's name is Zoe. She asks me what size I usually wear, and I feel like a moron when I tell her I don't know because my mom still buys all my clothes. She smiles and tells me her son doesn't know what size he is either, which makes me feel a little better, but not much. She measures me, then goes through several racks of different clothes.

stifle

When she comes back, I can't stifle my surprise.

“You want me to wear pajamas?”

“The character Chris is getting ready for bed and goes next door to check out the neighbors, right? Seems to me that calls for pajamas.”

The tops and bottoms are a thick
cotton flannel, bright red and with a design of dog bones and leashes. They seem comfortable, and the dog theme reminds me of Bodi.

adjustments

After I try them on, Zoe makes me stand on a box in the middle of the trailer while she makes adjustments.

“Today's just the rehearsal,” I say. “I can't wait to meet the actors tomorrow.”

She mumbles something as she hems my pants, and I realize her mouth is full of pins and she can't answer.

“Tanya Billings is in this movie. She's great,” I say. Tanya Billings used to have a show on the Disney Channel until she made an action movie last year that was a huge box office success. Now the magazines
in my mother's waiting room have photographs of her doing normal things like riding her bike and going shopping. In this movie, I'm not sure what part she plays, maybe the sister of my character, Chris.

relationship

Thinking of Tanya Billings makes me think of Matt; we watched Tanya's last movie together at least four times. My relationship with Matt is like the ones I have with Mom and Dad, or Bodi and Grandmaâalways there, without a lot of thought or effort. There's no way a little fight like the one we had the other day could affect our friendship. If I get to meet Tanya Billings tomorrow, maybe I'll ask her to sign an autograph for Matt. He'd like that.

Zoe tells me my pajamas will be
ready the next day. She talks to someone on her walkie-talkie, then escorts me to the hair and makeup trailer. She introduces me to a man named Bruno, who checks my skin.

“I don't have to wear makeup, do I?” Between the pajamas and makeup, I wonder what I've gotten myself into.

“We don't usually worry about makeup with the stunt team,” Bruno says. “If you guys are doing your job right, no one should see your face.”

Bruno takes me over to the hair department where there's a shelf lined with Styrofoam heads wearing various wigs. He removes a long, dark brown wig from the stand.

“Why do I have to wear a wig and a witch's hat?” I ask.

Bruno seems confused. “Didn't you read the script? Your character just came home from a Halloween party.”

various

“Oh, yeah. I forgot.” I guess being in a movie isn't too different from real life; I spend half my time pretending I've read stuff I haven't.

Bruno makes me sit in a chair, then places the wig on my head. He brushes and styles it with care, as if it's real hair and I'm at the hairdresser's. When he's done, he talks on
his
walkie-talkie to Tony, who tells him he's waiting with my dad at craft services.

As I follow Bruno across the set, I have no idea I'm about to discover the hidden treasure of a movie set.

It's Almost as Good as Christmas

“You mean there's free food on movie sets? Why didn't you tell me this before?”

My father shakes his head. “I've been keeping you away for this exact reason.”

I walk through the trailer and don't know where to begin. Cake, brownies, cookies, muffins, soda, potato chips, bagels, hot chocolate,
candy bars, gum, and M&M'sâand that's just the first shelf. It's like scoring the biggest Halloween jackpot without having to dress up or knock on doors.

I take a huge bite of my first candy bar. “You mean I could've been eating free candy all these years?”

“The food is reserved for the cast and crew,” Dad answers. “Not for the son of a storyboard artist. It's a long day working on a movieâthe crewmembers need to refuel.”

reserved

refuel

When I start to fill my pockets with licorice, Dad shoots me one of his looks.

“I'm refueling!”

Tony laughs and tells Dad it's fine. As if to join in the free food fest, Dad pours himself a cup of coffee.

I choose my next candy bar and
realize how much more bearable school would be with a craft services department. NOT the cafeteria ladies who stir big pots of brown stuff for lunch, but workers who lay out candy, cakes, and slices of pie in neat rows for kids to come by and take for free all day. In a perfect world, it would be located right next to our lockers so Matt and I could sneak in a quick snack between every class. Compared to this movie set, school now seems like the most horrible punishment on the planet, worse than being stuck on a chain gang with girls who won't stop talking.

If I were the type of kid who signed petitions and started a committee, this is TOTALLY the kind of project I'd put my time and effort behind.

committee