My Favorite Distraction (Distraction #1) (11 page)

He stayed there for a while
, unmoving. “So fucking perfect.”

He stared at me, straight in the eyes, and I felt like my heart was being pulled out of my chest.
I had tears falling now, but he didn’t say anything about them. He began to pull out, and I thought he was finished. I began to panic and I wasn’t ready for this connection to be over. My body, which had tried so hard to remain still, couldn’t anymore. My hips angled toward him, wanting to take all of him again. The pain sensation was slipping, and the only thing on my mind was pleasing him. 

He leaned his body so it rested on top of mine. His chest brush
ed over my breast as he continued to move slowly inside me. The pain radiated in me again, but I embraced it. I closed my eyes and felt every sensation.  I wanted more. I began moving my hips to his rhythm, as much as I could. He started kissing my neck, then continued his soft kisses until he reached my mouth. He took complete possession of my mouth with his tongue. He was slow and subtle at first, then the kissing got deeper, and longer. He started his deep breathing and groaning again, and I lost it. My hands gripped his hair again, my fingernails poking his scalp. I couldn’t get enough of him. My tongue played with his.  My hands dropped down to his butt, and I scratched my way up to his shoulders.

“F
uck!,” he yelled as his body tensed and he began a much faster pace in and out of me.

He watched me as my eyes grew big. I was startled
by his yell and the more rigid and forced motion. I could tell he was worried. His eyebrows drew together, but he didn’t stop. My fingers slipped up between us to the front of his body. It was hard, sweaty and tense. His heart was beating out of his chest, and I loved that I did this to him. I smiled at him, and he slowed down a little. He brought his one hand to my face to wipe away a tear, and I kissed the inside of his hand. He ran his hand down my body to my swollen bud and gently rubbed it. I arched my back off the bed, and he continued until I was screaming. My whole body tingled, and I gripped him from the inside as my muscles contracted, and I climaxed. His rocking motion sped up and gripped my hips to steady me. His eyes held mine while he continued his steady movements in and out.  It was like he was struggling, conflicted.

“It’s OK to let go.”
My tone was hushed and I wasn’t even sure if he heard.

His hands lighten
ed their tight grip. I felt his whole body stiffen, his thrusting start to slow, before his eyes tilted back into his lids and he fell on top of me. He lay there for a while, still inside me, his body resting mainly on his left side, but still covering mine. It amazed me how good it felt to have his heart beating directly on top of mine, his sweaty body completely in contact with mine. We were molded together and it was such a calm and peaceful feeling.  My mind and body relaxed, I closed my eyes and breathed in his clean masculine scent. His heavy breathing slowed and I was surprised when he moved. I watched him closely, more out of curiosity. Where do you go after such a high?  How do you recover from such an intense connection and be…normal again? He never looked at me, just squeezed his eyes shut.

“Thank you,” was all he said when he pulled out of me. He
rolled over, got up, still avoiding my eyes not looking back, and walked straight to the bathroom. He was disconnected and distant all of a sudden.

I felt weird
, like we were complete strangers. A coldness spread throughout my body, giving me chills. All I could hear was him saying ‘thank you’ over and over. What the hell? I didn’t bring him a sandwich. Really? ‘Thank you’? Was this the ‘thank-you’ for buying him the coffee? I flew out of his bed, and my legs almost collapsed.

I stumbled to the bedroom down the hall where my clothes were, grabbed an outfit, and went to the bathroom locking the door behind me. I took a long moment leaning against the back of door before getting into the shower to wash myself, tears falling from my eyes. The emotion that took over my body was terrifying. I told myself not to cry. I had avoided crying for years, it was senseless and stupid. We both wanted it, and obviously he enjoyed it, or he wouldn’t have thanked me. I laughed at my self-talk as tears remained falling down my face. I was feeling so insecure and I hated it. I all but threw myself at him, and now I was sad because the chase was over and he was done with me. I continued to remind myself of how good it felt. I took from him in the same way he took from me. I washed between my legs, where I was still sensitive, and remembered his hands on me.

I finished the shower and dried myself off
, my mind still racing as I got dressed and began to blow-dry my hair. I took my time. I knew I was going to have to face him, and that awkward reunion was something I was in no hurry to do. I parted my hair, gathered a small chunk of it toward the front, braided it down, and tied it off. I curled my long bangs to the side and put on mascara. I even put lipstick on, which was something unusual for me. When I knew I couldn’t stall any more, I made my way to the door. Before I opened it, I saw a little hand sticking out from under the door. I was startled, and my thoughts were immediately clouded. I looked at the little fingers, and my heart warmed. It was strange to picture Jason as a father, but not impossible. I knew that was one more cue to leave, this little hand. This was more than a distraction. It was an innocent little being, and I had no plans to hurt a child.

I opened the door
, and a little green-eyed girl in a blue dress smiled at me.

“Hello,”
I waved my hand at her when I said it.

Next to the little girl
, Bo was lying down looking at me.

“What is your name? Do you know Bo?” I was in love with this little beauty. I looked at her closely and noticed all the similarities she had to Jason. This had to be his child
.

I sat next to Bo and began to pet him. The little girl came over to sit on my lap. She reached up and grabbed my braid.

“Do you like my braid? Do you want one or two?” I used my fingers as I said the numbers.

She just kept looking at me. I
disappeared to the bathroom to grab my brush and hair clips and went back to sit next to Bo. She took her place in my lap.

“Does your daddy know where you are? I
don’t think you are supposed to be up here.” I continued to braid her hair in two braids, and helped her up. I pocketed my phone and keys and walked with her and Bo downstairs. The little girl took off running outside, and Bo stayed by my side. I quietly tiptoed toward the front door trying to be invisible. I almost reached the front door when I heard a little voice. I turned around and saw a little boy with a truck.

“Would you like to play with my truck?”

He was so cute. He had big brown eyes and wore a red shirt with Mickey Mouse on it. I kneeled down next to him as he continued to show me his truck.

“It has big tires
, and it goes really fast. I love my truck. This is the best truck.” He leaned toward me to show me all the details the truck had to offer.

“W
ow, I like your truck. What color is that?”

He smiled at me and looked a little
confused. “It’s yellow. Would you like to hold my truck?” He was gesturing for me to hold it, so I did.

“Do you have another truck so we could race them?” I asked him
, and his eyes lit up.

“You want to play trucks with me?” He was so excited he was practically dancing. He skipped over to the door leading to the backyard where the little girl went out
, and I stood up. Jason was standing in the big room next to me. I didn’t even hear him walk in. He was staring at me with his classic arms crossed over his chest, mouth in a thin line, jaw flexed, what I have learned is his pissed off stance. 

“Are you going somewhere?”
He stood tall puffed out his chest. Yep, he was mad.

“Oh
, I guess I should have said ‘thank you’ before I left.” I said it a bit too bitterly, because he looked at me with confusion. “I thought I could sneak out so you could spend some time with your kids.” I moved my hands toward the two kids now in the doorway.

“You think they are
my
kids?”

I
nodded my head yes.

He continued, “You think she’s mine
, and you took time to braid her hair?”

“Listen
, Jason, I am not an idiot. You told me enough about your past for it to be realistic. This little girl looks identical to you, and the little boy, well, he
loves
to play with his…truck.”

Jason
started to laugh. He was laughing so hard it made me laugh.

“I was avoiding the walk of shame.” I looked at him
, and his smiled faded.

“Is that what you’re doing
? Are you ashamed of what we did?” His face was tense again, his eyes burning a hole in mine.

“No
, I thought you were. You just said ‘thank you’ and left. You just left. I thought, I don’t know, you had conquered me, and I was…free to go.” I stopped talking, tears pooling in my eyes again, but I was forcing myself not to cry.

Within seconds he was next to
me and his arms wrapped around me. My head buried into his chest. “I’m sorry for that,” he whispered and kissed the top of my head. “You thought these were my kids, and you were nice to them?”

H
e continued to hold me close, and I felt my heart beat a little faster.

“Yes
, I think you make beautiful babies. Of course I would love them.”

He hugged me tighter
, and I heard him whisper something I couldn’t understand.

“These are my sister’s kids
. The little girl is Jasmine.” He pulled away from me, but still had his arm around my back. “And the truck player is Jack.” I watched as a tall, slender lady with green eyes and light brown hair walked in through the door. “This is my sister Jessica.”

She walked over and put her hand out
. I shook her hand feeling really embarrassed. I felt my face turn red.

“Hi
, I am Katie.”

As my hand dropped
, the little boy grabbed it and pulled me down. He gave me a truck and began his chant, “On your marks, get set, go.” I did as he instructed and let the truck go, and he took off running after them.

I looked up at Jessica
. “You have beautiful kids.” She smiled back, and I looked at her features. She looked exactly like Jason, stunning in every way.

“Thank you
. Jasmine never lets me do her hair. It looks pretty like that.” Her smile grew as she glanced at Jason. It was like they had an inside joke.

Jason’s cell phone began to ring. He
pulled it out of his pocket and answered it as he stepped away from me. I heard him talking on it as he walked toward the kitchen.

“So, Jason has told me all about you.” Jessica was looking at me
, still holding the biggest smile. “He said he told you everything about his past.” I was shocked that she wanted to talk about this.

“Uh
, yes, he said he had a sex problem.” I was being vague because I was good at vague.

“If it makes you feel any different, I never thought he was addicted to sex
. I think he was just lonely. His last girlfriend”—she made a sour face—“she was crazy and I think drove him crazy too. I think my brother is a lot like this house.” She paused and looked around. “Breathtaking on the outside and empty on the inside. I have never heard him talk about a girl like he does about you.” She started to get quiet. I think she sensed Jason.

“Jason and I just
recently started talking. I like your brother, but I think you might be thinking of someone else.” I glanced over as Jason walked in the room.

“You downplay what is between us a lot.
As far as I am concerned, we have dated for three months. Some mornings you were the only reason I got out of bed. I told both my sisters about you a long time ago.” He smiled at me.

“Oh, so you want me to stay?”
He was so moody. It was hard to know what he wanted.

He laughed at that and put his arm around me.
“Please, it would make me very happy if you stayed.” I smiled at him, and he put his forehead to mine and then leaned over to whisper in my ear, “I am sorry I said thank you. I was so grateful for everything I didn’t know what to say.” He pulled away from me and kissed my cheek gently.

“Who was on the phone?” I asked
, mainly to change the subject. Jessica was still staring at us like we might explode. I think Jason caught on to my diversion. He flashed a knowing smile at me when he answered.

“
It was Dave. He wants to play basketball.”

“You should go play basketball with your friends
. I’ll take Bo for a walk and then start dinner depending on how long you’re gone.” I looked around for a clock, but the walls were bare, so I looked for my phone.

“Are you sure? Would you stay?” he asked.

“I won’t leave. I’ll hang out with Bo, maybe take a nap.” I looked over at his sister, who was still watching us.

H
e must have seen me because when I looked back he leaned over and slowly kissed me. “All right, I am going to leave if you’re OK?” He studied me for a long time, before he left the room, and I heard him on the phone again.

I asked Jessica if she wanted to go outside with me. She followed me
, and Bo and the kids trailed behind. Minutes later Jason came outside to say good-bye, but he just stood there. He had shorts on, and a faded gray sweat shirt zipped halfway down. He just stared at me and it made me uncomfortable. I wanted to tell him to cut it out.

“Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you a sandwich before you leave?” I
asked, but only to get him to react or do something other than just stand there and stare. His eyes lit up.

“Yes
, I would love a sandwich.” He held the door open for me as I walked past, then said something to his sister and his niece and nephew. I knew exactly when he reached his regular spot at the counter and I felt his eyes on me.  I wanted to do something gross to his sandwich just because his intense staring was unnerving.  I thought if I spit in his sandwich it might lighten him up a little. If his family wasn’t outside I would take my clothes off to give him something else to concentrate on. I could rub the bread all over my body, I smiled at the thought.

“What are you thinking?” His voice had a smile in it.  It was cute, which made me think about the kids outside.

“Do you have any children?” I glanced up at him.

“No
.” He was giving me his seductive smile.

“How many sisters do you have?”

“Two. Jessica is my twin. Janie is my older sister. She has two boys.”

“What did you tell them about me?” I
held my focus on him as I gave him his sandwich.

“
Everything I know.” His eyes dropped to his sandwich and I waited for more. “I also might have said I was going to marry you and have six babies.”

I laughed
. I knew he was bullshitting me.

“Maybe you are part lion
. Sounds like you want a litter. All you need is the right pussy cat.” I dragged out “pussy” like I had at his work. He laughed a little and winked at me. I didn’t want him to think I was that pussy cat. “Six babies? Wow, what makes you think I would marry you and have six babies?”

He looked down at his sandwich like I
’d offended him. “I told them that I looked forward to every morning just to see you and that it was the most relaxing part of my day.” His words were spoken from the heart and I had an incredible urge to hug him. I watched him eat his sandwich, wanting to tell him our mornings in the coffeehouse were the most relaxing part of my days too, but I couldn’t find the words.

“You always tell me the truth
, huh? I like that you’re not scared to tell me anything.” I climbed the bar stool next to him and took a seat.

“
I have my secrets, but mainly I want you to know I am no Prince Charming. My hope is that one day you would consider marriage.” He winked as his smile grew, and I raised my eyebrows. “I can negotiate the babies.”

“Dam
n straight you can negotiate the babies.” My smile was mirroring his. His finger grazed my cheek and swept a fallen strand of hair behind my ear. The look in his eyes was tender.

“I know you think I’m moving fast, but I have this feeling about you.”

“Can I be honest with you?” I waited for him to look me straight in the eyes. “I am aware of all your experience, and I am trying to believe you mean everything you’re saying, but words are words, Jason, that’s all.”