My Enemy, the Queen (25 page)

This was a delicate matter for them to discuss with her, for she would become very angry if it were suggested she were no longer youthful; so there was a great deal of secret activity and the ladies of her intimate bedchamber were asked some searching questions.

The negotiations with France began. The Duc dnjou had become Henri III and his younger brother who, as the Duc dlencon, had once been the Queen suitor, had taken the title of Duc dnjou from his brother, who now had the greater one of King of France. The Duc was still unmarried and no doubt his mother, Catherine deMedici, felt that a share in the crown of England would be a great advantage to her son and to France.

When he had plied his suit previously, Elizabeth had been thirty-nine and he seventeen and the difference in their ages had not displeased her. Would it do so now that the Duc was more mature and had heardebauchednd she perhaps felt the need for a little haste?

It always amazed me to see the excitement talk of marriage could arouse in her. It was an extraordinary side of her character that the fact that this little Frenchman, with the unsavory reputation and far from prepossessing appearance, who was considering marrying hernd she could have had many of the greatest princes in Europe or the most handsome man in England whom she lovedhould have aroused such delight in her. She was as frivolous as a young girl, and indeed she acted like one. She became even more coquettish and demanded outrageous compliments about her appearance, talking of gowns and ruffs and ribbons as though they were matters of state. If one did not know her for the wily diplomat, the shrewd ruler, that she was, it would have seemed that the foolish creature was unworthy of her crown.

I had tried to understand her attitude. In my heart I knew she had no more intention of marrying Anjou than she had any other suitor. The only one she had ever seriously considered marrying was Robert Dudley. But she was fascinated by the subject of marriage; she may have imagined herself united with a manith Robert, I supposedut it had to be a fantasy; she would never face the reality. Somewhere in the dark recesses of her mind was this bogey of marriage. Perhaps this was because her mother, demanding it, had paid for it with her life. I would never really understand. It was like a child who is terrified of the dark and yet asks for bloodcurdling stories about it and listens fascinated, begging for more.

I wanted to see Robert to tell him that I was with child, for I was certain of it. If he had really meant that we should marry, now was the time to prove it. I could not stay at Court when my pregnancy was obvious. The Queen had sharp eyes and I believed that recently she had watched me even more closely.

However the negotiations for the French marriage took her mind off those about her. Although those of us who knew her well were sure she had no intention of marrying the Duc, there was a growing feeling in the country about the proposed marriage, and those who did not have to be so careful of what they said were hinting that she should stop deceiving herself. There could be no issue and the marriage would mean putting power in the hands of the hated French.

But of course she could be unpredictable and none could be absolutely certain of what she would do; and there was an opinion that if she really had decided to marry at last, it would be better for the country and herself to take an Englishman and one of whom she was fond. Everyone knew who that was and that she had proved her true feelings for him over many years; and since he was the most powerful man in England already, if he were raised to be husband of the Queen, it could not be so very different.

Astley, one of the gentlemen of the bedchamber, even went so far as to remind her that Leicester was unmarried. It can be imagined what apprehension this caused me, but the Queen reply delighted me. She was very angry and I knew it was because she thought that this courtship from which she intended to extract the maximum enjoyment was going to be snatched from her.

She shouted so that many of us heard, not only in the Presence Chamber but beyond: ould it not be unlike myself and unmindful of my royal Majesty to prefer my servant, whom I myself have raised, before the greatest princes in Christendom.

What an insult to Robert! His pride would be deeply wounded. I wanted to be with him when he heard what the Queen had said, because it would show him that he had no hope of marrying her after all.

I sent word to him that I must see him as I had urgent news for him.

He came to Durham House and as the Queen was busy with the marriage negotiations he was freer than he usually was.

He embraced me with no lessening of his fervor and I said to him: am with your child, Robert, and something must be done about it.

He nodded, and I went on: t will soon be obvious and then there will be difficulties. I have the Queen permission to retire from the Court because I am concerned about the children. I also pleaded sickness. If we are ever going to be married, the time is now. The Queen won have you. She has stated that clearly enough, and if she won, then she can raise no objections to your marrying someone else.

hat true,said Robert. will arrange it. Come to Kenilworth and the ceremony shall take place there. There will be no more delay.

He meant it this time. He was furious with the Queen for her excitement over the French suitor, and of course what she had said of him had been reported to him. He was not going to allow himself to be so humiliated before the whole Court and dance attendance on her while she archly prepared herself for her meeting with the Duc dnjou, who seemed likely to succeed where he had failed.

Fate was favoring me. This was my triumph. I had won. I knew her so well. She would not marry Anjouhe had no intention of doing so. She enjoyed pretending because it infuriated Robert and showed everyone how desperately he wanted to become her husband.

t is the crown he wants, Cousin,I said to myself, and how I should have loved to say it to her!

How I should enjoy standing before her and telling her that I was the one he loved. ee,I would maliciously point out. e has even risked your displeasure to marry me.

I made the journey to Kenilworth and there we went through a ceremony of marriage.

s yet,said Robert, e must preserve the utmost secrecy. I must choose the right moment to break it to the Queen.

I knew he was right about this so I agreed.

I was happy. I had achieved my purpose. I was the Countess of Leicester, Robert wife.

Back at Durham House my father came to see me. He had always kept a sharp eye on us and I think I gave him more anxiety than any of my brothers and sisters, although when I had married Walter he had believed I had settled for a life of domesticity.

After Walter death he had begun to visit me more frequently and I have no doubt that he had heard rumors about Walter suspicious end.

Francis Knollys was a very good and pious man and I was proud that he was my father, but he had grown even more puritanical as the years passed. He watched over my children and was very concerned about their religious upbringing; as none of them was inclined to religion, they found this rather tiresome, and I had to admit that I agreed with them.

Now he called unexpectedly and it was impossible to hide my condition from him. He was alarmed and after embracing me he held me at arm length and looked at me searchingly.

es, Father,I said, am with child.

He stared at me in horror.

ut Walter

was not in love with Walter, Father. We were separated so much. We had not a great many shared interests.

hat is no way for a wife to talk of her husband.

must be truthful to you, Father. Walter was a good husband, but he is dead and I am too young to remain a widow for the rest of my life. I have found a man whom I love dearly.

nd you are with child by him!

e is my husband and in due course our marriage will be taken out of secrecy.

ecrecy! What is this? And you already with child!He looked at me in horror. have heard a name mentioned with yours and this shocks me. The Earl of Leicester

e is my husband,I said.

h God in heaven!cried my father, and he was praying aloud, for he was not a man to use oaths. o not let this be true.

I said patiently: t is true. Robert and I are married. What wrong with that? You were glad enough to marry me to Walter Devereux. Robert Dudley is a far greater man than Walter could ever be.

e is a far more ambitious man.

hat wrong with ambition?

top wrangling,said my father sternly. want to know what this is all about.

am not a child, Father,I reminded him.

ou are my daughter. Let me know the worst.

here is no worst. It is all the best of news. Robert and I love each other and because of this we are married and shall soon have a child.

et you must hide yourself, hide your marriage. Lettice, have you no wisdom! His first wife died mysteriously. He has always hoped to marry the Queen. I have heard disturbing stories about Lady Sheffield.

hey are untrue.

he was first his mistress and then his wife, some say.

he was never his wife. That is a story circulated because she had a child by him.

nd you find this acceptable?

would accept a great deal if Robert went with it.

nd now you have put yourself in a similar position to that of Lady Sheffield.

ndeed I have not. I am married to Robert.

o she thought. My childor so you seem since you can be so easily deludedt is clear that he went through a form of marriage with Lady Sheffield mock ceremony. Then when he wanted to, he could discard her. Don you see he has put you in a similar position?

hat untrue!I cried, but it was hard to prevent my voice trembling. It had been a secret ceremony, and Douglass Sheffield must have been deceived because she was clearly a woman who could not easily lie.

am going to see Leicester,said my father firmly. am going to find out exactly what this is all about, and I am going to see the ceremony performed before my eyes, and with witnesses. If you are to be Robert Dudley wife, you must be so surely so that he cannot discard you when he wishes to turn his attention to someone else.

My father left me then and I wondered what the outcome would be.

I was soon to discover.

My father came to Durham House and with him were Robert brother, the Earl of Warwick, and a close friend, the Earl of Pembroke.

repare yourself to leave at once,said my father. e are going to Wanstead. There you are to be married to the Earl of Leicester.

as Robert agreed to this second ceremony?I asked.

e is eager for it. He has convinced me that he is devoted to you and has no wish but that your union shall be legal.

By this time I was heavily pregnant but delighted to make the journey.

When we reached Wanstead, Robert was waiting there with Lord North, who had always been one of his greatest friends.

He embraced me and told me that my father was determined on this ceremony and he himself was nothing loath. He would not have any doubt his great desire to marry me and live with me as my husband.

The next morning we were joined by my brother, Richard, and one of Robert chaplains, a Mr. Tindall, who was to perform the ceremony; and there in the gallery at Wanstead, my father gave me away to the Earl of Leicester, and the ceremony was conducted in such a manner and with such witnesses that it could never be denied that it had taken place.

My father said: y daughter will soon give birth to your child. Then there will have to be an acknowledgment of the marriage in order to preserve her good name.

ou may safely leave that to me,Robert assured him, but my father was not so easily set aside.

t must be known that she is truly married and the Countess of Leicester.

y dear Sir Francis,replied my husband, an you imagine what the Queen wrath will be like when she knows I have married without her consent?

hen why did you not ask her consent?

ecause it would never have been given. I must have time to break it to her to choose my moment. If she were to announce her betrothal to the French Prince, then I should be justified in telling her I have a wife.

h, Father,I said impatiently, ou must see the point of all this. Do you want us to be thrown into the Tower. As for you, what would your position be when it was known that you had actually attended the ceremony. You know full well her temper.

know it full well, as you say,replied my father, and Warwick joined with his brother and said that of course they must be discreet and leave it to Robert to make the decision because of his intimate knowledge of the Queen moods.

So it was agreed and, that night, Robert and I were together in the Queen chamber and I could not stop thinking of Elizabeth sleeping there, believing that the chamber was kept solely in readiness for her visits; and there was I, in this superb bed with my husband with whom I was madly in love and he with me, and I pictured what her fury would be like if she could see us now.

This was indeed the supreme victory.

I think Robert derived a great deal of satisfaction from it too, for, in spite of his pleasure in me, he must have been smarting from those insulting words of hers. He could not have had a greater revenge.

How deeply involved we three were together. Even on our wedding night, it seemed that she was there with us.

But whatever the outcome, the fact remained that, without doubt, I was Robert wife.

The next day there was disconcerting news. A messenger arrived from the Queen. She had heard that the Earl of Leicester was at his estate of Wanstead and she had decided that she would stay there for two nights on the last stages of her journey to Greenwich. As her Eyes had been so sad because last time she had visited Wanstead he had been at Buxton taking the baths, she was shortening her journey that she might spend two days in his company.

It was almost as though she knew. The thought occurred to us both that she did and that she had arranged this because of it. Robert was greatly disturbed, for, as he had pointed out to me, when the explanation came he must be the one to give it and he must choose the moment. It would never do for her to discover through someone else. It was most disconcerting that this should come on the day after our wedding, but at least there was a warning; and on consideration it seemed to us that if she had in fact known what had happened, she would never have given us the warning which enabled us to have time to cover up.