My Enemy, the Queen (22 page)

bout you and Leicester.

My eyes were wide open and I hoped looked innocent. hat can you mean, Walter?

heard that you are his mistress.

hoever could have said such a thing?

was only told after my promise to keep the informant identity a secret.

nd you believe this secret informer?

don believe it of you, Lettice, but Dudley reputation is far from savory.

ven so you could hardly believe it of him if you didn believe it of me.You fool! I thought to myself, and I decided that attack was the best form of defense. nd I must say that I take an ill view of your tattling about your wife to people in dark corners.

didn really believe it of you, Lettice. It must be someone else he has been seen with.

ou suspected me, of course,I accused, whipping myself to anger. It was most effective. I had my poor Walter almost begging for pardon.

ot truly so, but I did want you to tell me yourself how false it all was. I shall call out the man who dared mention it.

alter,I said, ou know this to be false. I know it to be false. If you make a great noise about it, it will come to the Queen ears and she would blame you. You know how she will hear no ill of Robert Dudley.

He was silent, but I could see that my remarks had struck home.

sorry for any woman who becomes involved with him,he said.

o should I be,I retorted meaningfully.

But I was worried. I had to see Robert to tell him what had happened. It was difficult for me. I had to seek an opportunity, and as Robert was always attempting to do the same, we did manage at last to have a few words together.

his is driving me mad,said Robert.

I replied: ere is something to drive you madder.And I told him.

omeone must have talked,said Robert. hey will be saying now that your recent illness was due to ridding yourself of a child you had by me.

ho could have done this?

y dear Lettice, we are watched and spied on by those we trust the most.

f this gets to Walter ear I began.

Robert put in wryly: f it got to the Queen we should then have good cause to worry.

hat can we do?

eave it to me. You and I are going to marry. Rest assured of that. But there will be work to be done first.

I understood how hard he was working to bring this about when a summons came from the Queen for Walter to attend on her without delay. When he returned to Durham House I was eagerly awaiting him.

ell, what happened?I asked.

t madness,he retorted. he does not understand. She has ordered me back to Ireland.

I tried not to show my relief. This was undoubtedly Robert work.

he is offering me the post of Earl Marshal of Ireland.

hat is a great honor, Walter.

he expects me to think so. I tried to explain the position to her.

nd what did she say?

he waved me aside.He paused and looked at me searchingly. eicester was with her. He kept saying how important Ireland was, and how I was the man to become Earl Marshal. I think he has done a great deal to persuade the Queen.

I was silent, pretending to be perplexed.

h yes. Leicester said what a great opportunity it was to retrieve my failure. They wouldn listen to me when I tried to explain that they did not understand the Irish.

nd the outcome?

he Queen made it clear that she expects me to go. I don think you will like it out there, Lettice.

I had to go carefully now so I said: h well, Walter, we must make the best of it.

That satisfied him. He was still doubtful about Leicester, and although Walter code made him accept the word of his wife, I could see that the suspicions were still there.

I pretended to make some preparations to go to Ireland, although, of course, I had no intention of going at all.

The following day, I said to him: alter, I very worried about Penelope.

hy so?he asked surprised.

know she is young, but she is mature for her age. I fancy that she is not very discreet in her friendships with the opposite sex. Dorothy worries me too and I found Walter in tears and young Robert looking very glum trying to comfort him. Robert said he was going to ask the Queen not to let me go to Ireland. I shall be so worried about them if I go away.

hey have their governesses and nurses.

hey need more than that. Particularly Penelope. It her age and the boys are too young to be left. I have spoken to William Cecil. He will take Robert into his household before he goes to Cambridge, but he should not leave his home just yet. We cannot both abandon the children, Walter.

The children saved me. Walter was very depressed but he was fond of his family and he did not want them to suffer. I spent a good deal of time with him, listening to his account of the Irish question, and I made plans for the future when he would come homehich would not be long, I told him. He would then have good standing at Court as the Earl Marshal of Ireland, and perhaps if he went back later we could all go with him.

Finally he departed. He embraced me warmly before he left and begged my pardon for the slander which had been uttered against me. It would be as well, he told me, to take the children back to Chartley and as soon as he returned we would make our plans for the future. We would get the girls married and the boys educated.

I embraced him with real affection, for he looked so melancholy, and I felt, mingling with relief that he was going, pity for him and shame because of what I was doing.

I told him that we must endure this separation for the sake of the children, and although this may seem like the greatest hypocrisy, at that moment there were genuine tears in my eyes and I was glad that my obvious emotion seemed to give him some comfort.

In July he sailed for Ireland and I resumed my meetings with Robert Dudley. Robert told me that he had indeed advised the Queen that Walter presence was needed in Ireland.

ou get what you want,I commented. see that.

get what I deserve,he retorted.

I pretended to be alarmed. hen I fear for you, my Lord Leicester.

ever fear, my Lady Leicester-to-be. If one would succeed, one must learn how to take what one wants boldly. It the best way.

nd now?I asked. hat next?

or that we must wait and see.

I waited only two months.

One of the servants from Chartley rode up to Durham House. I could see that the man was greatly disturbed.

y lady,he said, when he was brought to me, terrible thing has happened. A black calf has been born and I thought you should know.

ou did well to come here,I answered. ut this is but a legend and we are all in good health.

y lady, the country folk say that this has never failed. It has always meant death and disaster to the lord of the castle. My lord is in Ireland a lawless place.

t is true that he is there on the Queen business,I said.

e must be warned, my lady. He must come back.

fear the Queen would not be willing to stake her policy on the birth of a black calf at Chartley.

ut if your ladyship went to her explained

I replied that all I could do was to write to the Earl of Essex and tell him what had happened. ou shall be rewarded for bringing the news to me,I added.

When he had gone I was thoughtful. Could it really be true? How strange it was that the calf should be born as it must have been on that occasion when the death of the lord of the castle had originally given rise to the legend.

Before I could dispatch a letter to my husband I received the news that Walter had died of dysentery in Dublin Castle.

The Countess of Leicester

A gentleman of the Queen bedchamber reminded her that the Earl of Leicester was still free to marry at which she angrily retorted that t would be unlike herself and unmindful of her royal majesty to prefer her servant, whom she herself had raised, before the greatest Princes in Christendom.

William Camden

SO I was a widow. I cannot pretend to have been smitten by sorrow. I had never been in love with Walter, and since I had become Robert mistress I had deeply regretted my marriage, but I had had some affection for him, I had borne his children, and I could not help feeling a certain melancholy at his death. I did not brood on this, for thoughts of what my freedom would mean filled me with an excitement which overwhelmed all other feelings.

I could hardly wait to see Robert. When he did come, he came in secret as before.

e shall have to tread warily,he warned, and a cold fear gripped me. Is he trying to evade marriage now? I asked myself. And there was one question which kept coming into my mind: How was it Walter had died so fortuitously? Dysentery, it was said. Many had died of it and in such cases there were always suspicions. I lay awake asking myself if it really was an irony of fate or whether Robert had played some part in it. What would the outcome be? I was uneasy, but as eager for Robert as ever. No matter what he did, nothing could change that.

It was I who broke the news of their father death to the children. I summoned them all to my apartments and, drawing young Rob to me, I said: y son, you are the Earl of Essex now.

He looked at me with wide, bewildered eyes, and my love for him overwhelmed me. I held him close and said: obert, my dearest, your father is dead, and you are his heir because you are his eldest son.

Robert began to sob and I saw tears in Penelope eyes. Dorothy was crying too and little Walter, seeing the distress of his brother and sisters, broke into loud lamentation.

I thought, in some amazement: So they truly loved him.

But why should they not? When had he ever been anything to them but a loving father?

his will make a difference to us,I said.

hall we go back to Chartley?asked Penelope.

e cannot yet make any plans,I told her. e must wait and see.

Robert looked at me apprehensively. f I am the Earl now, what shall I have to do?

othing yet. For a time it will not be much different from what it would have been if your father were here. You have his title but you still have your education to complete. Don be afraid, my darling. Everything will be all right.

verything will be all right!The phrase kept ringing in my ears, mocking me. I might have known it would not be so.

The Queen sent for me. Always sympathetic to the grief of others, she received me warmly.

y dear cousin,she said, embracing me, his is a sad day for you. You have lost a good husband.

I kept my eyes lowered.

nd you have the welfare of your children to occupy you. So your young Robert is now the Earl of Essex. A charming little fellow. I hope he is not too miserable at this loss.

e is heartbroken, Madam.

oor child! And Penelope and Dorothy and the young one?

hey feel the loss of their father deeply.

oubtless you would wish to leave Court for a while.

am so uncertain, Madam. Sometimes I think I want the peace of the country in which to mourn and at others it seems unbearable. Everywhere I look there I am reminded of him.

She nodded sympathetically.

hen it shall be left to you to do what suits you best.

It was she who sent Lord Burleigh to me.

There was something reassuring about William Cecil, now Lord Burleigh. He was a good man, by which I mean that he more often acted for the sake of what he considered right than out of hope of advancing himselfomething which could be said of very few statesmen. Of medium height and somewhat thin, he gave the impression of being smaller than he was; he had a brown beard and rather large nose, but it was his eyes with their hint of kindliness which were reassuring.

his is a very sad time for you, Lady Essex,he said, nd Her Majesty is much concerned for your welfare and that of your children. The Earl was very young to die and leave children who are still in need of his care. I know it was his wish and yours that his son Robert should come into my household, and, I shall be happy to receive him whenever you think it fitting to send him.

hank you. He will need a little time to recover from his father death. Next May he is to go to Cambridge.

Lord Burleigh nodded approvingly. hear he is a clever boy.

e is well versed in Latin and French and enjoys learning.

hen he should do well.

So it was arranged, and I felt that this was best because I knew that even aside from his brilliance Lord Burleigh was a kind and indulgent father to his own children andhat rarity good and faithful husband.

I suppose it was inevitable that rumors would begin to circulate. Whoever had told Walter of my relationship with Robert would be rekindling that gossip now that my husband was dead.

Robert came to me in a state of some anxiety and insisted that we talk. He told me then that it was being suggested that Walter had been murdered.

y whom?I asked sharply.

eed you ask?replied Robert. henever anyone dies unexpectedly and I am on terms of acquaintance with that person, I am suspected.

o people are talking about us!I whispered.

He nodded. here are spies everywhere. It seems I can make no move without its being recorded. If this gets to the Queen ears

ut if we marry she would have to know,I pointed out.

shall break it to her gently, but I would not like her to hear it through anyone but myself.

erhaps,I said sharply, ou would rather we said goodbye.

He turned on me almost angrily. on dare say such a thing! I am going to marry you. Nothing else will satisfy me. But just now we have to be careful. God knows what Elizabeth would do if she knew I were contemplating this. Lettice, they are going to open Essex body to look for poison.

I dared not look at him. I did not want to know the truth if it implicated Robert. I kept thinking of Amy Robsart at the bottom of that staircase in Cumnor Place and Douglass Sheffield husband, who died just as he was about to divorce his wife. And now Walter.

h God,I said, and I was praying, trust nothing will be found in him.

ay,said Robert comfortingly, othing will be found. He died a natural death of dysentery. Essex was never a strong man and Ireland did not suit him. However, I think it would be a good plan if you went back to Chartley for a while, Lettice. It might help to stop the gossip.