My Dream Man (2 page)

Before my next visit to Mr. Varo’s house I spent double the amount of time getting ready so I would look my best. I felt like I was preparing for a date instead of going to work. I checked my reflection in the mirror and laughed. I was getting all dolled up for some weird guy I’d spent more time with in a dream than in real life.

I scheduled it as my first stop so I wouldn’t look haggard when I arrived like last time. On my way over I felt jittery, like I had drunk too much coffee. I tapped my finger repeatedly on the steering wheel all the way there.

I had made a point of buying new socks so I’d be able to take off my shoes and walk around with confidence. I also made a mental note to remember to put my shoes back on before leaving.

I rang the doorbell.

Mr. Varo answered. “Well look at you. You’re just getting prettier with each visit.”

I smiled and stepped inside. “Thank you Michael. How are you feeling today?”

“A little better. I just have to remember to take all my pills and eat right.”

I smiled, then offered an exaggerated scowl. “You know you should do as your doctor says, right? That means you can’t hide candy bars under your pillow for when no one’s looking.”

Mr. Varo feigned shock. “How did you know? Are you clairvoyant?”

I smiled. “I’m an RN. I’ve seen things. Patients and their secret stash.”

“No stash here,” he said. “My son wouldn’t let me have one anyway.”

I looked around the room, hoping to see his son appear on cue. Nothing. Not even a glimpse of his pink bathrobe flashing by. My heart sank.

“He takes good care of you,” I said.

“Well I’m not that old, so he doesn’t need to take care of me really, but he does help out a lot when he’s home. The boy’s a clean freak, which works out well. I like to cook and I don’t like cleaning up.”

The idea of them living together struck me as sweet. Or was it pathetic? Most young guys I knew moved out of the house as quickly as they could.

“So tell me about yourself,” I said. “Do you work from home or are you retired?”

“Retired,” he said. “Five years now.”

He took a seat and I set my bag down, pulled out the blood pressure monitor, and slid the cuff on his arm. “What did you do?”

“Furniture upholstery. I had my own shop. It was great for years, with lots of repeat clients and referrals, but I closed it and retired. People are different these days. They buy cheap furniture from discount stores and almost never bring old furniture in to be reupholstered. They just buy new cheap furniture to replace it.”

“I know what you mean. My parents have some old furniture around the house that could use some help,” I said. “But good luck getting my dad to spend a penny on it. He says the holes in the fabric give the chairs charm.” I typed the results of the blood pressure reading into the computer.

After I removed the cuff Mr. Varo had a sheepish look on his face. “I hate to say this in front of a lady, but would you excuse me for a few minutes? Nature calls. I might be gone for a little bit.”

“Understood,” I said. “I’ll be here when you’re finished.”

Once I heard Mr. Varo close the bathroom door, I was gripped by intense curiosity. Without thinking, I began walking down the hallway and noticed an empty bedroom. I crept inside.

The room was tidy. The bed was made and everything was in its place. Framed movie posters hung on the wall, old science fiction flicks like
The Day the Earth Stood Still
and
Forbidden Planet
. A tower of magnets arranged to look like a DNA strand was sitting atop a
Spiderman
comic, next to a physics book as thick as it was tall that seemed to be guarded by an army of
Star Trek
action figures.

I turned and saw a bookcase. The top shelf held a row of
Wired
magazine. The one below was filled with books. I read some of the titles.
The Singularity is Near, Race Against The Machine, Physics of the Future.

I knew it was wrong to snoop. It was totally unprofessional, and was a habit that often got me in trouble as a kid. I began walking out of the room, but after a single step, I stopped. A pink terry cloth robe hung from a hook on the back of the bedroom door.

I was drawn to it. I couldn’t help myself.

I reached for the sleeve, then held the material to my nose and inhaled. The combination of sweat and men’s cologne sent a tsunami of desire through me. It was dizzying.

The sound of the bathroom door cracking open startled me, and I rushed to leave the room.

“You looking for another bathroom?” Mr. Varo asked.

My throat tightened. “Yeah,” I answered. “I…um…is there another one?”

“Yes. Past the kitchen. First door on your left.”

“Thanks,” I said, smiling. Then I turned and quickly headed in that direction.

Once inside I shut the door and leaned against it. I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. I had nearly gotten busted. It reminded me of the time my mom caught me digging through my aunt’s dresser drawer when I was nine. I wasn’t going to take anything. I was just curious. My aunt was such an interesting, colorful woman.

I took a few deep breaths to relax, but I was still reeling from the scent on the robe. It smelled just like he did in the dream.

I checked my watch and realized I had to pull myself together. I had a schedule to keep. I used the restroom quickly and washed my hands, then I went back to finish the appointment with Mr. Varo.

“Looks like you’re gonna live,” I teased him afterward.

He laughed. “I like that prognosis. I’ll take it over the alternative anytime.”

I excused myself and practically ran to my car, then drove off to the next patient’s house. I caught every red light on the way there, and the rest of the day continued in a similar fashion. I even managed to spill ketchup on my top while eating a burger in the car between appointments. As I wiped at the stain with a napkin, I queued up my father’s favorite phrase, “Do as I say, not as I do,” in case any of my patients mentioned the ketchup in the middle of my “eat healthy” speech. Thankfully, no one said a thing.

By the end of the day I just wanted to go home and collapse. It had been a harrowing one. But then I remembered I had to hit the grocery store. As usual, I didn’t have the foresight to put a list together beforehand, so I had to wing it. I spent more time at the grocery store than anywhere else, always having to return for something I’d forgotten. I really should be better at making lists.

I grabbed a cart and dashed forward. The cart thumped along like a car with a flat tire, squeaking at every turn. I considered replacing it with another one, but decided it didn’t really matter. It was victory enough just to pull a cart free from the corral without having to wrestle with it first. Besides, I just wanted to be done with the shopping and get back to my comfy couch.

Ketchup stain notwithstanding, I did tend to watch what I ate at home. I figured if I expected others to strive for health I should be a good example. I didn’t want to be too much of a hypocrite like many of the doctors I knew.

In the produce section I gathered a myriad of veggies. Carrots, cherry tomatoes, fresh spinach, lettuce, mushrooms. All I needed was a cucumber.

“Hey.”

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up, cucumber in hand, and found myself face to face with Mr. Varo’s son.

Suddenly flustered, I dropped the cucumber. It landed with a
thunk
on top the others and sent a row of them tumbling to the ground.

“Let me get that,” he offered, scooping them up and replacing them on the shelf.

Afterward he held one up. “Was this the one you selected?”

“That one’s fine,” I said, grabbing it from him and tossing it into my cart like it was a poisonous snake.

“One of those days, huh?” he asked, with a sweet smile.

“You could say that.”

“Is that blood on your shirt? What happened? Did someone die?”

I laughed nervously. “No,” I said. “I spilled ketchup on it. Like you said, one of those days.”

“Well I hope it gets better. Nice seeing you…”

“Samantha,” I offered.

“Greg,” he said.

He waved goodbye, and then I pushed my cart forward, thumping and squeaking my way to the register. I was certain everyone in the store was staring at me. Maybe they were. After all, I was beet red from embarrassment.

After a mostly-satisfying dinner, I crashed onto the couch and thought of him again. He looked different wearing khaki slacks and a plaid shirt. Less bizarre. He was more put together and professional. But those eyes. They seemed to burn into me, turning me on all over again.

I closed my eyes and smiled, realizing I officially had a dream man: a nerdy brainiac named Greg.

I woke the next morning happy it was the weekend. My best friend, Valerie, our mutual friend Genevieve, and I were meeting for drinks. We made a point of trying to get together often, and we tried to mix it up so we did something different every time.

While taking care of mundane chores, I heard my doorbell ring.

I pressed the intercom button. “Who is it?”

“It’s Tabby. Buzz me in.”

I pressed the button and heard the main door open downstairs, followed by the loud clunks of her footsteps. Heavy footsteps meant bad news.

“What’s up?” I asked. “You look upset.”

She sank into the couch. “It’s Jack. We broke up.” Then she burst into tears.

More beautiful words had never been spoken. My heart rejoiced that Jackass was out of the picture. Then it sank a bit as I considered the scene before me. Jack might be a jerk, but for whatever reason, Tabby had still liked the guy.

I took a seat next to her. “Tell me what happened,” I said, using my best conciliatory tone.

“It’s kind of embarrassing,” she sniffed. She eyed me warily.

I could handle embarrassing. Heck, I could handle anything as long as Jack was history.

“You know you can tell me anything,” I said. “That’s what big sisters are for.”

She pulled her knees to her chest and shook her head in disgust. “He’s just so weird. I mean, he’s hot and all, but…”

Hot?
I bit my lip.

Tabby didn’t elaborate further, so I gave her the “spill it already” face.

She sighed. “Okay. Here’s the deal. He kept pushing me for sex, and I wasn’t ready yet. I wanted to make sure the first time was special, you know?”

I nodded, glad my kid sister was sensible and had at least listened to some of my past advice.

“So I told him no, but he didn’t want to take no for an answer.”

I felt my blood begin to boil.

“So then he says maybe we should try anal sex instead. That way I’m not giving up my virginity but we can still fool around.”

I raised an eyebrow but remained calm. I wanted to strangle the manipulative piece of shit.

“I told him I had no interest in doing that, even though I know a bunch of other girls who do.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. They call it a loophole. No pun intended.”

I stifled an embarrassed laugh.

“But it’s just stupid. And gross.” She scrunched her tear-streaked face in disgust. “But Jack kept pushing the matter and I wouldn’t budge, so we broke up.” Her voice cracked at the end of the sentence.

“Maybe this is for the best,” I said, rubbing her shoulder. “You’ve got finals to focus on; you’re leaving for college soon. Maybe you two aren’t on the same page.”

A tear escaped and ran down her cheek. “That’s what Mom said.”

“You told her about—”

“No! I didn’t tell her that. I just said we broke up.”

I gave her a hug. “It’s going to be okay Tab. You’ll see.”

Mom had told me once that she’d hoped Tabby would outgrow Jack. She wasn’t Jack’s biggest fan, so I knew she must be pleased by the development, apart from the obvious pain it was causing Tabby.

“Why don’t you stay over tonight?” I suggested. “I can make your favorite soup, do your toenails. Tonight’s all about you.” I put on my best happy face, hoping it would be contagious.

She cracked a wan smile. “I would, but Mom and Dad offered to take me to dinner to cheer me up.”

“Well, if you want to come by tomorrow, let me know.”

“Thanks,” she said. “I’ll give you a call if I’m feeling up to it.”

Tabby and I chatted about school for a while, but that didn’t seem to brighten her spirits either. She left soon thereafter.

After eating a small meal I showered and got fixed up to meet my friends. On the way there I started to question the way I’d reacted to Tabby’s news. She needed compassion from me, not a secret celebration of the breakup.

I made eye contact with Valerie at the bar and my mood lifted. She was one of those bubbly people – the kind who brought the best out of everyone around her.

“Hey,” she said, and we hugged and faux kissed each other. Not because we were fake, but because we didn’t want to smudge our lipstick.

“Where’s Genevieve?” I asked.

“She couldn’t make it at the last minute. Cramps. I didn’t want to cancel though. I figured we could just hang out.” Val handed me the menu. “Check this out. They have a Lychee Martini. I’ve never heard of that before. That’s what I’m going to get.”

It sounded good. “Me too.”

The waiter stopped by and took our order, then quickly disappeared.

“So what’s new?”

“I got the promotion,” Val said. “I didn’t think I’d get it, because another co-worker had been there longer, but I guess I got lucky.”

“Congrats!” She’d worked hard and I was certain she’d get the position. When the waiter returned we officially clinked our glasses together.

“Wow. This is so good,” I said.

“Right?” she agreed. “Too bad Genevieve is missing this.”

“Damn cramps,” I said. Val started laughing and I couldn’t help but join her. Her laugh was a contagious high-pitched giggle that reminded me of Saturday morning cartoons.

Over the next half hour I sipped my concoction and listened to her divulge the details of her new gig. She always amazed me with how animated she got when she spoke. I wished I had her energy.

“So how about you Sam? Anything new?” she asked when she had finished.

I paused, unsure if I should tell her, but the booze gave me liquid courage. “I have some news, I guess.” I smiled, and my face felt warm as I thought of it. “Or maybe it was just a once in a lifetime phenomenon.”

Val raised her eyebrows, tapped the side of her glass. “Well?”

“You have to promise not to laugh,” I told her.

“I promise.”

Her eyes were glassy from the cocktails, so I couldn’t be sure she’d keep her word, but I figured it was too late to turn back now.

After taking another sip of my drink, I began. “Well I went to a new patient’s house recently, and his son answered the door.” Just thinking of him made me smile.

Val smiled too.

“And the guy’s dressed like a crazy person, wearing a pink terry cloth robe over wrinkled pajamas.”

“What?” she shrieked. “Get out.”

“Trust me. It gets better.”

“Do tell.”

“So he’s all unfriendly and standoffish. Doesn’t ask my name. Tells me to remove my shoes. Doesn’t introduce me to his dad. And then, when I’m about to leave, he starts making conversation. Out of the blue he asks me if I’m going to check out the supermoon. Says it’s the celestial event of the season.”

Val broke out laughing, and again I couldn’t help myself.

After a few minutes I wiped my tears away and cleared my throat. “Now here’s where the phenomenon part comes in.”

She stared at me, her eyes hopeful the next thing I said would prompt more giggles, even though she’d promised she wouldn’t laugh.

“I dreamt of him that night. A sexual dream. And…I came in my sleep.”

“Whaaaatttt?” she said. “No freaking way. That’s impossible.”

I nodded and began grinning like a fool.

“Are you sure Sam? I mean, how do you know?”

“Because it woke me out of my sleep. And it was the most amazing feeling, something I’d never experienced before.”

“You mean, you’ve never, not even with Brian?” she asked.

I shook my head no.

“And get this,” I added. “When I woke up the room was really bright, illuminated by…wait for it…the supermoon.”

Val howled with delight after hearing that tidbit. It was hard not to.

“You promised not to laugh,” I teased her.

“I can’t help it. It’s just too much.” She straightened her posture and made a serious face. “So how do you think you’ll react when you see this guy again?”

I thought about bumping into him at the supermarket, and how the cucumbers fell to the ground and how embarrassed I was, but I decided we’d had enough hilarity at my expense for one evening.

“I don’t know,” I said.

But I did know. I reacted the same way. I got turned on in his presence.