My Chance (Chance #2) (10 page)

“Aubrey, please try to relax,” Dr. Russo said. “Take a deep breath. I am not blaming Alex, or anyone. I’ve read Dr. Reed’s thesis, and I agree that we need to work through some emotional trauma together. Aubrey, your file says that you’ve had moments of sight, can you please tell me when your last one was?”

I sat back down. “It was last night. I was with Alex, a couple of friends, and my parents. It was the longest it has lasted.” I beamed at Alex as he sat next to me.

“What were you thinking about when it went away again?”

“I started wondering when it would go away. That made me nervous, and then it went away.”

“Hmmm… Do you take any anti-anxiety medicine?”

“No, I don’t.”

“I’m going to send you home with a prescription to calm your nerves. You may experience some drowsiness or lack of appetite, but I’d be surprised if you experienced any side effects. We’ll start you on the prescription every day, but I’d like to get you to the point where you only need to take it prior to an event that you know will bring on anxiety like, for example, flying on a plane.”

“Thank you, doctor, I appreciate that.”

“Honestly, I’m surprised your primary care physician never prescribed you any.”

I nodded and told her that I’d never told him about my anxiety.

“Alex, here is the prescription. Please have it filled and have her start the medication immediately,” Dr. Russo said. “Aubrey, I don’t want you to rely solely on the pills. You won’t be on them forever. I’ll teach you some exercises that will help you cope and deal with situations that bring on anxiety. I want you to think about what causes you anxiety and why. We’ll deal with those triggers one by one. Once your anxiety is controlled, your sight might come back all at once. You need to be able to work through what you saw.”

I stood up. “Thank you, Dr. Russo.”

I didn’t say anything. I looked down and then up, and I saw shadows. I shook my head a little and brought my fingers to my temple.

“You okay, babe?”

I looked at Alex. “Yeah, I see shadows. They’re becoming clearer though.” I stood there a few minutes longer. “There’s my gorgeous man.” Clear as day. I smiled and turned my head to see Dr. Russo. She was younger than I thought she’d be, probably in her thirties. She probably appreciated Alex’s appearance.

“How are you feeling?” Dr. Russo asked.

“I’m good right now, but who knows for how long.”

“Just breathe and try not to think about anything negative.”

Dr. Russo shouldn’t have reminded me. Not knowing when it would go away again made my heart rate pick up. I told myself not to think about it, but I naturally did. I lowered my head.

“Gone, right?” Alex sounded sad.

I hated that. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

We said good-bye, made my appointments for next week, and headed out. I couldn’t wait to leave and go home. My parents were still waiting for us. I told them I’d explain everything when we got home.

Alex suggested he and I go to my apartment after we got my prescription. We got in the car, and it was quiet—too quiet.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I was caught off guard, that’s all. I truly didn’t expect to be in the same room with Garrett today, or ever.” I didn’t want to be with him at all.

“I’m sure it came as a surprise. It did to me too. I’m proud of you for holding your ground. I know you don’t want to hear this, but I feel horrible for what I did. I know I apologized and you forgave me, but it makes me sick that I’m partially to blame for this.”

“If you recall, I’m not lacking in the blame department either. Let’s just move on, okay? That’s the only thing that will make me better.”

Alex kissed my left ring finger. “Let’s go to the pharmacy, and then I’ll take you home. I have to go to the club tonight. Would you like to come with me?”

“No, you go. I think I’ll hang with my parents and talk to them. There really isn’t a reason for them to stay in the States since I’m not having surgery. Then you can have your place back.”

“You want me to leave?”

“I didn’t mean it that way. Your place is just more comfortable and closer to the club. I love being with you.”

He stopped the car and told me he was going to run in and get my pills. The car door closed, and I was alone. I closed my eyes and did some breathing exercises. I needed to talk to Julie about going to her Yoga classes. I’d just do the breathing, not the movements, or I’d fall on my ass.

We went back to my apartment, and it smelled wonderful. My mom greeted us and said she’d made some canapés and couldn’t wait to hear about the appointment.

I smiled. I loved my mom for trying to help. “Sounds great, Mom. I’m going to go change, though. I want to throw on something more comfortable.”

“Baby, I need to get to the club,” Alex said. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Can you help me first?” I needed to get him in my room. I needed to get him inside me.

“Sure, whatever you need.”

“We’ll be right back, Mom.” I went into my room and heard Alex behind me. I stopped, and I felt Alex against my back. “Close and lock the door, Alex.”

I heard the door latch and lock. I spun around, extended my arms, and my hands landed on Alex’s taut stomach. I moaned and stepped closer, pushing his back against the door. I ran my hands up his body until my hands were in his hair. “I need you.”

His lips forcefully found mine, but they didn’t hurt. He felt incredible.

“Make love to me. I want you.”

He carried me to the bed, laid me down, and kissed me. He trailed kisses from my jaw to my breasts. I arched my back. I needed him.

“We’re not alone, babe,” he said.

“I don’t care.”

Alex took off my pants and unbuttoned my blouse. He pulled down the cups of my bra, and his tongue circled my nipples. He bit down gently, which made me cry out for him.

“Shhh, I don’t need your dad running in here.”

I sat up and removed my blouse and bra. “I don’t care. I want you in me now.”

“Whatever you want, whenever you want it. I’ll never deny you.” Alex sounded beyond sexy.

Before I knew it, we were one, connected. We moved in unison. I knew it wouldn’t—well, couldn’t—last long. I grabbed his amazing ass and tried to push him in deeper as I raised my hips.

“You’re incredible,” he said.” You feel so good around me. You’re warm, tight, and all mine… forever.”

I was going to explode from the ecstasy in his voice. “Alex, please… faster…”

That was all he needed. He drove into me until he had to stifle my scream with his mouth. Our tongues met, and I concentrated on the feel and taste of him. When he spilled into me, I felt a need I’d never experienced for anyone else. I didn’t want it to end. I wanted him to stay inside me forever.

“Babe, you ready?”

No, I really wasn’t. “I guess so.”

He pulled out of me, and I sighed.

“We will continue this when I get back and your parents are gone. Then it won’t be quick or quiet.”

I smiled, and we got cleaned up. We walked out of my room, and I felt like we smelled of sex. Alex gave me a kiss good-bye and told me he loved me and he’d see me later.

I sat at the table with my parents and went over everything. To say that my mom was surprised to hear about Garrett would be an understatement. She was happy my sight would return without surgery and told me they would stay as long as I wanted.

I didn’t want them to do that. They had a life in Paris, and I needed to get back to living as normal a life as I could. “Mom, why don’t you and Dad head back to Paris? It’s not that I don’t want you here, but Christmas is only a month and a half away, and I’d love for you to come back then. I hope by then my sight will have returned.” I was trying to be optimistic.

“Actually, your father and I discussed that today. We bought an open-ended ticket, so we’ll see when we can go. I want to help you with your wedding plans. Have you and Alex talked about a date?”

“No, not yet. I haven’t really thought about it much. I want to see him waiting for me. I want to see my dress. I need to see everything. But when we do set the date, I’ll call you so we can start planning.”

“That sounds wonderful. Now back to what we need to do for you. Is there anything we can help with?”

“Not really. I just need to work through some things, and once I do, I should be fine. I still can’t believe this is happening because of anxiety. Just thinking about that makes me anxious.”

“I didn’t realize that you had these issues. I’m sorry I didn’t pay closer attention.” My dad sounded sad.

I reached out, and he took my hand. “It’s okay, Daddy. I didn’t realize how bad it was either. It’s been going on for so long that it just seemed normal.”

“Well, we’ll all get through this, and you have a wonderful man by your side to help you,” my mom said. “Now let’s eat before dinner gets cold.”

After dinner, my parents left. I took my pill and got ready to head to bed. I grabbed my tablet and decided to read before I fell asleep. Since I was using braille, I only made it through a chapter and a half. I tried to continue, but I must have fallen asleep. I felt the tablet lift from my chest and the silk of my nightie raise. I smelled flowers… orchids. Alex.

I decided to try to not move to see what he’d do next. Soft petals started at the base of my neck and continued down the center of my stomach to the top of my panties. Then I felt it on my knee and up my leg, stopping at my hip. My skin prickled. He had to see me getting goose bumps. The flower moved to my cheek and down my neck to the spot that always got me. I flinched and snickered.

“You can’t fool me,” he said. “But if you want to pretend you’re still sleeping so you don’t know my next move, that’s fine with me.”

My eyes were closed. “I can’t see your next move anyways, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“Open your eyes. I want you to see how much you trust in us.” He kissed my cheek. “I love you”—he kissed my eyelids—”and I’m going to make you the happiest woman on the planet, because that’s how happy I am.” He kissed my lips.

I took a deep breath and pictured our kids from my dream. I pictured Alex having a picnic with me and dancing in the park. I thought of all the things that brought me joy. I smiled and opened my eyes. He was blurry, but he was there. “It’s working.”

Alex looked at his manhood. “It always works, baby.” He kissed me again.

I laughed in his mouth. “No, not that. I know that works. I meant my eyes.”

Alex propped himself up. “You can see?”

I blinked a few times and took a cleansing breath. “I thought of you, us, and of my dream. Maybe that’s my ‘happy place.’”

“I got your happy place.”

I giggled and took a deep breath. Alex took off my nightie and entered me. He looked into my eyes as I stared into his. I saw love. I saw my fiancé, the man I’d spend the rest of my life with.

Alex moved in and out of me slowly. His eyes never left mine. “I want to see your eyes as we make love. I want you to see me lose myself in you.”

I ran my hands up his back and remembered his tattoo. I couldn’t wait to see it again. I looked to my left and saw an orchid lying on a notebook. My heart raced as I thought about my journal. N
o, no, no, no don’t think about that.
Tears escaped my eyes, and my chest vibrated under Alex.

“Babe, what is it? Am I hurting you?”

I shook my head. “No, the notebook...” My voice broke. “On the nightstand. Please get rid of it.”

Without leaving me, he threw it in a drawer. “It’s gone. Are you okay?”

I took deep breaths, and every time I did, I felt his penis bob inside me.
He’s with me. He’s not gone. He loves me, and we’re okay. You can do this, Aubrey, everything is okay.

Alex didn’t move. I looked up and could still see his face.

“I’m okay. Just love me, please, Alex.”

We made love, and everything was as it should be.

I lay in bed with Alex, and I could see him. “Thank you.”

“I should thank you. You’re unbelievable.”

We kissed as if we were starved for each other. I loved everything about him. He was strong, and I was grateful for him. He rolled us to our sides.

I just stared at him. “I’m sorry I left you. Maybe if I hadn’t, I would’ve found out about my condition sooner.”

“It’s in the past, Aubrey. I don’t want you thinking about that. You don’t know what would have happened if you’d stayed here.” He sounded scared.

I knew he was worried about me losing my sight, but I felt calm and comfortable. I didn’t know if it was the medication or the fact that I’d talked and breathed my way through an “episode,” but I felt a sense of relief and serenity. “Hey, can I see your tattoo?”

“Oh… I should tell you something about that.”

I lowered my brows. “Okay, can I still see it?” I wanted to kiss it again.

Alex slowly rolled over, and I stared at his shoulder. The orchid had his mom’s and sister’s names on two angel wing petals, but they were joined by another. I looked closer and sat up on my knees. My hand covered my mouth.

Alex looked back at me. “Do you like it?”

“When did you… Alex… my name. You added my name?”

“I needed the three women I love together.” He smiled and his eyes brightened.