My Best Friend's Brother (18 page)

“Your father left a message and said you were fine. Why would I call and ask you again? I was on a
plane
at the time, need I remind you! So what do you expect! I am
working
here, Adonia!”

I’d cried my eyes dry, so I let out a dry sob and screamed, “To ask me how I’m feeling! To at least
pretend
you care!”

Her voice deepened. “
What?
How can you talk to me like this?”

I kept digging my own grave. “On top of that, you’re never home! You promised to be home last Christmas and you weren’t! You never see us!”

“I
can’t
be home, Adonia, I’m working on something here and I have to finish this research! I can’t just leave whenever I please, I’m a responsible adult!”

“Are you?” I rubbed my eyes with my free hand. “You’re not responsible enough to care about
me!
And you’re not coming home this year either, are you?
Are
you!
”

She was silent for so long I thought she’d hung up. “Not this year, but probably by New Year’s Day I’ll be home, if I work hard and finish this.”

“Don’t you ever want to see me and Sullivan?!” I barked. “Why can’t you get another job? Why didn’t you take that university job you were offered?!”

“Because this job puts food on the table, Adonia! Your father’s a writer, he doesn’t earn a steady paycheck. Now put your father on!”

“Daddy’s not home!”

“Well, where the hell is he!”

“He’s out with his agent!”

“Your father doesn’t work with an agent anymore, Adonia, so where
is
he?”

“With his agent!” I screamed so loud I thought my voice was gone. Then I did something I’d never done before: I hung up.

Sullivan was stunned on the couch.

I didn’t care. She deserved hearing what she did. It was a long time coming.

I sat next to him, folded my legs, and hugged them, covering myself with the blanket again. We just listened to the fire crackle for a while. Sullivan asked what happened, but I didn’t answer him. When my cell phone vibrated, I even ignored the call. I didn’t care to talk to anyone. Not until 10:30, when Dad got home.

He stood in the doorway like a deer in the headlights—like he’d missed
his
curfew. “What are you kids doing up?” he asked, setting down his briefcase, removing his shoes. “What’s going on?”

“Where did you go?” I demanded.

He hung up his coat, briefly eyeing me. “I met with my agent.”

“Mom says you don’t have an agent.”

His eyebrows pinched. “Oh, did Mom call?”

I stared him down. “You don’t have an agent, do you, Daddy?”

He sighed and sat on the love seat across from us. After a thoughtful minute he said, “No, sweetie, I don’t.”

“So where were you?” asked Sullivan.

Dad tugged at his tie, loosening it. I eyed his briefcase. “I’m going to take a shower. Can you kids be in bed by eleven?” He slapped his knee and got up like we’d agreed.

Sullivan ran up the stairs to his room and slammed the door behind him.

Without uttering another word, Dad went up himself, shut the door to the master bedroom and turned on the shower.

My eyes were still glued to the briefcase. I approached it cautiously. My knees touched the cold marble floor. I glanced at the top of the stairs and flipped the lock open. My blood zipped through me as I opened it.

Inside was a
Writer’s Digest
, his laptop below it, and two folders beneath that. I opened the first. It was his manuscript. I set it down on the tiles, next to the laptop and magazine. I reached for the black folder and opened it. Inside was a bundle of papers. The header on the front page was that of a law firm. My eyes skimmed the rest of the page, and I gasped at the realization of what they were: Divorce papers.

XVII

So how do you ask, “Why are there divorce papers in your briefcase?” to someone who doesn’t know
you know
that there are divorce papers in his briefcase?

That’s what I pondered until one in the morning. I’d put it all away, of course, and locked myself in my room. It was my fault. I wrecked the Jeep. Now my parents are splitting up, and Luke is leaving in forty-eight hours.

Lilly called hourly and left that many messages on my voice mail. Messages I stopped listening to after a while.

I lay in bed with an open notebook, trying to do my creative writing assignment. Divorce and breakups clouded my mind. Nobody wants to read about that.

I cried in self-pity. I cried for Dad; for what I’d said to Mom; for Luke; for Sullivan when he finds out what Dad was really out doing; and for the cap and gown on the hanger in my closet that may never see the light of day.

My life is falling apart.

~ ~ ~

At lunch I sat at Lilly’s table. She stared, probably at the bags under my eyes. I was actually glad Luke wasn’t in the lunchroom to see me looking as bad as I did.

“Are you okay?” she asked, just loud enough for me to hear her.

I shook my head no and pushed my tray to the center of the table. “My parents are getting divorced.”

“That’s terrible.” After a long moment she asked, “What happened?”

“Car crash started it. And I yelled at my mom last night. And at Luke. Did he call your dad for a ticket?”

She shrugged.

“He
kissed me
before he said it
wouldn’t
work out, because he’s your brother” I said, near tears. “Then I accused him of trying to score, when he put
no
pressure on me. I’m such a jerk.” I sighed. “At least I passed my home economics midterm.”

She patted my hand and smiled. “It will get better. I promise. Call Lukasz. He’s miserable.”

The bell rang, and we walked to class together. Gino caught up.

“Lookin’ good!” he howled after her. She wore tight polyester pants and a glittery purple top.

“Hi, Gino!” she teased, nudging him with her hip in the most inviting way.

Gino’s pretty cute—spiky black hair, sapphire eyes, and perfect teeth. He wore a white tee shirt under his leather jacket and baggy jeans with a chain trailing from his belt into his pocket, probably attached to his wallet.

I felt a sting of guilt for checking him out. I turned to check for Luke at my locker, but he was anywhere but there.

Gino said he was with Luke at Denny’s during lunch. So at least I know he wasn’t dining with some girl.

Mr. Michaels gave us thirty-five problems to spend the period on. “Practice makes perfect!” he roared, passing out the math sheets.

Lilly and I hovered over the work. I could barely concentrate, but that’s no surprise. Halfway through, the teacher came by my desk and tapped my arm.

“I’ll let you retake,” he whispered, “on Monday after school. Just this one time.” He raised his eyebrows and stood there as if he didn’t know if I’d be okay with that.

“Thanks,” I murmured, and got back to work, a little more awake. I was over-the-moon!

But then I realized how much studying I had to do by Monday. And this wasn’t the best time to do it.

~ ~ ~

I locked myself in my bedroom and stared into my math notebook for three hours. I tried some of the problems in the textbook, but I wasn’t having much luck. So I lingered there, depressed for a while, wishing Luke would call or at least
not leave forever
. He was leaving on Friday—on Teachers’ Professional Development Day. What do they do on those days anyway? Coffee and donuts?

A knock on the door brought me back to reality. I opened it.

“Ready for dinner?” Dad asked, wearing all black and this ridiculous white apron. By the stains on it I hoped it wasn’t lasagna again.

I shrugged and sat on the edge of my bed, gripping the carpet with my toes and fiddling with Luke’s necklace.

“What’s going on?”

“Dad, I saw the papers in your briefcase,” I spilled, trying to think up an explanation for going through his stuff to begin with.

He hesitated. Then he placed himself next to me on the bed. “Did you tell Sullivan?”

I shook my head no.

“Okay. Let’s talk about this.” He looked like he was about to teach me about sex, with that semi-contorted, scared look on his face. And yes, he gave me that speech back in the day, because—surprise!—Mom wasn’t around to do it. “Yes, I filed for divorce from your mother.”

“It’s because I crashed the Jeep, right?”

“No!” He scratched the top of his head. “It’s entirely me and Mom, not you or Sullivan. Understand?”

“Why?”

“Well, Mom’s always working. She’s just… lost all touch with this family.” He looked down and took off the apron, holding it in his right hand. “Part of the reason is the car crash, but not because of you.” He sighed. “I lied about talking to her. She called up the machine after I left her the news on her voice mail and asked how…” His voice trailed off, like he didn’t want to finish what he was saying. After a moment, he added, “She asked how bad the
car
was. That made me very mad. And before—when she was home—she was running the whole show with no regard for what I’m trying to do to raise you kids.” He looked at me sympathetically. “I’m sorry this had to happen to you and Sullivan. I sincerely hope you don’t hate me for this. This really feels like the sole option at this point, unless something drastic happens.”

My eyes were teary. I’d cried so much in the past day that they actually hurt. “I don’t hate you, Dad.” I hated
her,
for putting a car before me! Even though I wrecked her Jeep, I was hoping she’d still love me. “I think Mom hates me.”

Dad wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “Nobody hates you. Mom loves you. She’s your mom! She’s tired and she works a lot. It’s just that she’s changed since I married her, she’s lost track of what’s important.” He rubbed my shoulder. “No hard feelings?”

I shook my head no.

“If you need to talk about it or have questions, just ask.” He got up and walked to the door. “Until then we have to eat our spaghetti! I’ll get your brother.”

I thought about what he’d said. I agree with him. I’m not mad at him. And I’m glad I told Mom what I did.

I’m glad Dad works at home. Dad’s always there for us, no matter how pathetic his curfews are.

XVIII

My alarm went off shortly after seven. I went to the bathroom, took a shower, put on my makeup and blotted my lips. Then I heard frantic screaming. It sounded like Mom!

I rushed to the door and opened it slightly, sticking my head out, as I wasn’t fully dressed. Sullivan peeked out, his door barely open as well.

“Why are you doing this to me!” Mom screamed. “It’s just work!”

“Mary, calm down, the kids are asleep.” Dad was trying to be quiet, but he was doing a really crappy job at it.

“Don’t tell me to calm down, I’ve been up for thirty-six hours getting here! I called the kids and they said you were out with your agent, and now
this
?! How could you do this? And how dare you call me an
uncaring parent!
”

“Mary—”

A door slammed. Then I heard her murmuring. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. I heard Dad scream, “Absolutely not!” Then more talk I couldn’t make out.

I checked my watch. I’d be late for school if I didn’t go down soon, but I couldn’t just walk in on a fight. And I had a feeling Mom didn’t want to see me.

Sullivan and I exchanged looks. He pulled the door open and stuck his head out, confused.

“No, we can’t give it another shot, Mary,
not
with you gone like this!”

“Why don’t you get a
real
job, Paul? That’s why I’m out so much, because I have one!”

“I
have
a real job! And who would watch these kids if I left home to work?” Then his voice lowered again, and I couldn’t make anything else out until she screamed,

“It is
very
important to me!” Then the front door slammed. It shook the house.

Everything fell silent.

I heard hard, heavy footsteps climbing the stairs, and shut my door immediately. I lay on my bed and shook, hoping he didn’t see my door close and figure out I was snooping. But it sounded like Sullivan was discovered.

I went to my closet and pulled out a pair of hip hugger jeans and a brown turtleneck sweater. After I dressed, I opened my door. Dad and Sullivan were in the hallway, but I slipped out unnoticed. I hurried down the stairs and out the door. The Jeep was gone, of course, as was my mother, probably forever. But I didn’t care, because she’s not around enough for me to.

~ ~ ~

I never did see Mr. Bias yesterday. So today he called up math class looking for me.

“I don’t feel like going,” I told Mr. Michaels, and put my head back on my desk. I didn’t feel like talking about college, careers or my sex life.

I spent the day wondering where Mom went, and if she was ever coming back. It angered me. I know that I care, and it hurts.

I raised my hand and asked to go to the bathroom.

Mr. Michaels looked at his watch. “You’re out of here in five minutes anyway,” he said, licking his fingers and sorting through papers. “Why don’t you just hold it?”

Tears are hard to hold.

“You’ll be okay,” Lilly breathed, setting her hand on my shoulder. I told her everything at lunch, and she told me to call Luke.

Luke’s leaving tomorrow anyway. There’s nothing to talk about.

The bell rang and we both hurried out. Since her chemistry class is across the hall from creative writing, I walked with her.

“Hey, Lilly,” Gino said, wrapping an arm around her neck. “Wanna go to the Halloween dance tomorrow, baby?”

“
Tomorrow
?!” I shrieked, embarrassed afterwards.

He looked at me. “Yeah, they changed the date, since there’s no school tomorrow.”

I groaned.

“Gino, this is my best friend Adonia. Adonia, meet Gino Barone,” Lilly said as her eyeballs rolled down his body.

“Hey, how you doin’?” He smiled. That leather jacket must be attached to his body, he wears it everywhere. “I just moved here from New York.” That explained the accent. “This place ain’t so cold all the time.”

I grinned. “Not
yet
.”

He looked surprised. Then he smiled at Lilly, pulled her close and kissed her. I walked away, before I could become jealous of her having someone. Even if that someone is the Del Monte
giant!