My Beautiful Lies (Beautiful Nothing #2)

BOOK: My Beautiful Lies (Beautiful Nothing #2)
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MY BEAUTIFUL LIES

© Copyright 2016 Alisha Cole

KINDLE EDITION

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Cover design by Justin Temporado of
Ready, Set, Edit

Edited and Formatted by Wendi Temporado of
Ready, Set, Edit

To all of my fans:
 I would be nothing without you!

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PROLOGUE

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

 

 

The bathtub is overflowing with red-stained water, flooding the bathroom floor. Stepping through the water, I see her arms hanging over the sides. Her pale skin now dyed a crimson red. Her head is back; her eyes are closed. I rush to her side and lay my head on her chest listening for a heartbeat. The pulse is there, but it's slow. I hesitate no longer and dial 911.  Quickly removing my shirt, I tear it into strips. I wrap them around her wrists, tying them tight to keep pressure on her wounds. I turn the running water off, then lift her limp body out of the tub onto the floor. Within minutes, I hear the sirens coming down the road. 

The paramedics rush in asking all kinds of questions, but all I can do is tell them I am her therapist and friend. They lift her up on a gurney and carry her down the stairs. Quickly following behind them, I climb in the back of the ambulance with them and take off. My head spins as they hook her up to an IV. Watching them trying to stabilize her has my heart beating fierce. I can't answer any of their questions while staring at her lifeless body, cold and pale in front of me.

I follow through the hospital doors as they race inside. When we pass the nurses' desk, security stops me with a hand on my chest. "Sir, we need you to stay in the waiting area. She is being taken care of. You can't go back there." Rolling my eyes, I give him a nod and go take a seat. With my head in my hands, I do the only thing I can. I wait.

A nurse tapping me on my shoulder wakes me. I must have fallen asleep after the first few hours. “Dr. Hardy?" a short, round woman asks, holding a clipboard.  

“Yes that's me, is she okay?" Standing up to face her, I place my hands in my pockets to hide my anxiety. 

“She is stable currently; she has lost a lot of blood. We have stitched up her wounds, but she is getting a blood transfusion as we speak. She may need a couple. She lost a dangerous amount of blood.” Consulting her clipboard, she asks, “You are her psychiatrist, correct?” 

“Yes, I have been for a few months. We are close friends." 

"Do you know why she would be wanting to commit suicide?"  Running my hands through my hair, I try to give her a reason. 

“I know she has been depressed I just never thought she would take it this far, you know?"  She writes down everything I say. I should be used to that, since I do it myself for my patients, but I start getting antsy as she stands there silently. “Can I go see her now?" 

“Doctor, we can’t allow any non-family members in at this time. I'm sorry. Also, we have placed her under suicide watch for her remainder here. I suggest that you head home, shower, and get a good night of sleep and return in the morning." I tell her thanks for nothing and leave the hospital.

Back at home, I walk up the pathway to my vintage home. I stop before I reach the porch, looking at the old purple shingles chipping and the stained glass windows. I live in the backwoods in an old family inheritance. I love how quiet it is. Most people would think being a doctor I would like people, but I am actually thankful not to have any nosy neighbors prying into my life. Especially when I have a few demons of my own to hide. 

I open the door, place my keys on the key rack, and head to the kitchen for a late dinner.  I open the fridge, grabbing two eggs and some bacon. I make my dinner, place it on a tray with a glass of orange juice, and head to my library for a book. Clicking off the music, I make my way to my room on the second floor.

I eat and finish a few chapters of my book before I set my alarm.  I turn out the light and roll on my side to get comfortable. When I close my eyes, images of my own lies haunt me as I drift to sleep.

***

The alarm sounding off loudly pulls me from my sleep. I turn it off and just lie there. I hate getting out of bed for work, listening to people who think they have serious problems when they are just pitying themselves over dumb shit like work or kids. I am meant to fix people with the darkest past and unseen futures. Sometimes I believe I need to break them first before I fix them—Laney is one of them. She just doesn't know it yet. 

After a quick shower, I place my suit and tie on and head down the stairs when my cell phone rings.

“Dr. Hardy, I hope this isn't a bad time? I just wanted to inform you that Laney is awake. She's doing well, except she won't talk to anyone. I would really appreciate it if you could come down and give it a shot." Letting out a sigh of relief, I tell her I'm on my way.

At the hospital, I make my way through the doors asking the nurse which room she is in. There she sits on the small hospital bed facing the window, the only sound is the beating of my heart mixed with the sounds of the machines she is hooked to. When she feels my presence, she faces me with a dull stare. No emotion at all, completely empty. “I’m sorry I wasn't there when you needed me. If I could go back to that night and stay there like you needed me to. We wouldn't be in this situation."  

She faces back toward the window.  “I didn't want you there; I wanted to die.”   I should feel like my world was just ripped away, but I don't. I feel like she is the same as me, so broken beyond repair. I know I can fix her, though.  

“Why do you want to die? Why do you want to remove yourself from this world? Did you ever think of how much hurt you can cause someone? I love you, Laney, and you just want to throw it away? I can't picture living in a world without you in it." 

Nothing is real; we all live in fantasy worlds where we choose when the world ends. She isn't ending it just yet.

“I don't care who I hurt or who loves me. I have no reason to live; you took that away from me! You took my choices! They were mine to make, not yours!" She’s screaming at me with a raw look in her eyes. "I will never be that girl that loves you or the one you can fix! That girl is gone, so go home and forget about it, James! Isn't that what you told me? To just forget? Just to remove the nightmares and be done with it? To forget my best friend is dead?” The first tear rolls down, just enough emotion to show she still cares.

She's right, I did tell her to forget, but with my help. “Laney, I told you I can make you forget. You won't be alone." She shuts down, lying on her side facing the window. I stay silent and sit in the chair next to her bed. After waiting an hour in the quiet room, I hear her breathing steady and know she has fallen asleep. Standing up, I make my way to the side of the bed she is facing. I run my hand across her warm cheek. Leaning in, I kiss her forehead before leaving the room.

I head back home to eat lunch before I return to the hospital to try again. Before leaving, I make her a pot of soup and place it in a thermos. Back at the hospital, I reach her room to find her in the same spot I left her. Grabbing the chair, I move it over to the side of the bed she is facing and clear my throat. She opens her eyes and a frown spreads across her face. “So, that's the greeting I get for a guy that brings you soup?"  She rolls her eyes then closes them. 

“Why are you here? Can't you take the hint? Once I play nice in here, do what I'm told, I'm ending it. I will be gone, so stop trying to fix me or change my mind. It's not going to happen." When she stops talking she opens her eyes and stares at me. 

“What happened to the woman that had that fight in her? The fire in her eyes when she told me some of her nightmares? What happened to her, Laney?  Lindsay could still be out there and alive, and here you are just giving up on her and giving up on yourself."

She throws her blanket off, sitting up quickly, stumbling to the side from the rush. “I fucking told you to leave! I don't want to fight or look for answers anymore. I will never find them! They are at the bottom of the river now!" I am hitting a nerve, which is a good thing. 

“Did you find her body? Is there something you're not telling me?" Sarcasm pours off my words, as I get in her face questioning her. 

She reaches her hand back, slapping me firm across the face with a loud smack. “Don’t you dare talk to me like that! Why can't you just deal with my choices? Why do you keep trying like I didn't almost die in that bathtub! I don’t want to fight anymore. I just don't." Tears stream out of her baby blue eyes as she leans in sobbing in into my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her, letting her cry as I rub her back. I should have been stunned by her hit, but I'm not. I saw it coming. It's what I was after. She needs to get it all out whether it hurts me or not.

“You let it all out right now, and the pain will be easier. I promise you it will all get easier. I’m right here. I'm not going anywhere, baby." Squeezing me a little tighter, she continues to cry apologizing for what she has done. I hold her for hours until her body gets heavy in my arms; she is starting to get tired. I lay her down on the bed, tucking her in, then lean back in the chair and close my eyes, drifting off into my own slumber.

A nurse comes in and wakes me up by messing with Laney's machine. I bolt upright and look at Laney who is sitting up looking at me with more light in her eyes then earlier. Smiling, I stand and lean down to kiss her forehead. I have a feeling that she is going to be okay. The nurse leaves the room and Laney starts to talk. “I don't want to die; I am willing to fight if you will stay by my side. Will you stay with me? Not just in here, but will you stay with me at my house? I'm scared that if I'm alone, I can't keep my promise not to end it." 

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