Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction (32 page)

“
Any idea how much his cut was?”

“
Negative.”

“
Do you know what happened to the other men who were involved in the bank robbery?” Tess asked.

“Yeah, I think Rod Pierce died about five years later. And Junior ended up gettin’ caught for another job he pulled. I think he spent most a his life rottin’ in a cell.”

“
What about a fourth man?”

“
What about him?”

“
Did your grandfather ever talk about a fourth man being involved? John Hobb or someone else?”

“
Negative. I wouldn’t know anything about that.”

Jack
cleared his throat and asked the sixty-four thousand dollar question. “What about John Hobb’s murder?”

“
Sounds like you know more ‘n me.”

“
Who do you think killed him? Did your grandfather ever talk about that?”

Tank
ran his hand over his stubbly cheeks and wide nose. His eyes grew dark, and he answered, “Can’t hep ya.”

Cautiously,
Jack said, “Is that . . . because you don’t want to . . . or because you don’t know?”

“
What difference does it make? I ain’t answerin’.”

Jack
got his wallet from his back pocket, pulled a hundred dollar bill out, and placed it on the coffee table.

Tank
stared at it for a few silent moments. Tess couldn’t tell what he was thinking. His eyes went coldly from the bill to Jack. Jack reached out to take it back, but Tank gave in.

“
Shoot. Hold on a damn minute.” He took several drags from his cigarette, then put it out in a bean bag ashtray on a small table to his left. “I heard my granddaddy talk about it
once
. He was there, but another man did it. I ain’t sayin’ who the other man was. I ain’t no rat. Any other questions?”

“
Do you know why he was killed?”

“
Negative.”

Tess
looked at Jack, and he raised his eyebrows, as if to say, ‘It’s up to you.’

“
Would you mind telling us where you were last night around eleven o’clock?” she asked.

“
Why?”

“
Just humor me. Please.”

“
Didja hear the one ‘bout the duck who went into a bar?”

“
I’m not talking about that kind of humor . . . Mr . . . .Tank.”

“
Tell me what you’re accusin’ me of first.”

“
I’m not accusing you of anything, I’m just asking.”

“
I was home,” he answered reluctantly.

“
Anyone with you?” Jack asked.

“
Negative.”

“
Okay, Tank. We’ll be on our way. Thank you for your time. If anything should come to mind, will you give me a call?” Jack handed him his card.

“
Will do.”

They
walked to the door, and Tess turned around to look at Tank. “Do you by any chance know Willy Clayton?”

“
Dudn’t everbody?” he snorted.

“
Have you seen him lately?”

“
Seen him. Ain’t talked to him. He was over to Humdinger’s the other night. There were so many people in that place, you couldn't stir 'em with a stick.”

“
Was he with anybody?”

Tank
snorted again. “Yeah, he was with Peaches McGee.” He chuckled and scratched his head. “She’s what you might call a loose woman.”

“
Okay, thank you again, Tank,” Tess said quickly, opening the door.
It's definitely time to go.

They
headed for the car, with chickens squawking and scurrying out of their way. Just as they reached the car, Tank called out from the porch steps. “Watch out or you'll plow up snakes.”

They
got in the car, and Tess started the ignition. “Any idea what he meant by that?”

“
Yeah, I’ve heard that expression a time or two. He means to be careful what you do or you'll stir up trouble for yourself.”

“
Do you think it was a veiled threat?”

“
I don’t know. He didn’t really strike me as an evil person. Tough as nails, rough as a corn cob, and he’s got about as much class as a guest on the
Jerry Springer Show
, but I don’t peg him as violent.”

“
Why do you suppose he didn’t want to say where he was last night?”

“
Pride. You put him on the defensive, and he didn’t want to be there.”

“
Well, thanks for going with me. It wasn’t a complete waste of time, was it?”

“
Not at all. We learned Brick Lynch was definitely one of the bank robbers, as well as, at the very least, a participant in the murder, and we learned this state has had some very crooked politicians once or twice. Not that it’s any surprise.”

“
Do you think he was telling the truth about the money? That his grandfather spent it on hush money and booze?”

“
Assuming he had to bribe a governor to beat the robbery sentence and a judge to beat the murder charge, yeah, I think it’s possible.”

“
But you don’t think he’s to blame for the break-ins or for hanging around my house last night?”

“
Nope. I think his hesitancy to talk is out of loyalty to his grandfather, plus his natural surly nature.”

“
Well, if he’s not the perp, then who is? Who else would care about some stupid old key that goes to a stupid old trunk that has nothing in it but stupid old keepsakes?”

“
Tess, I wish I knew. But whoever it is, he’s getting bolder.”

She
glanced over at him and saw him smiling at her. “What? Why are you smiling?”

“
Did you just say
‘perp’
?”

Hemlock remover
: noun \ hem-lok re-moo-ver\ Heimlich

maneu
ver

He’s choking! Somebody do the Hemlock remover.

[  July
2010  ]

Tess knelt on the grass, trying to fix the sprinkler in her front yard when Jack arrived to take her to The Silly Goose for the first official divorce support group meeting.

“
Hi!” he called across the yard, climbing out of his truck.

Tess
didn’t look back but called out, “Hi, yourself! I’m trying to fix this blasted sprinkler. It keeps getting stuck in one position. I’m almost ready.”

She
fiddled with the sprinkler head, but it wouldn’t budge. She pulled on the little lever in the middle, bringing the full force of the cold water shooting directly into her face and the side of her leg. “OH!” she screamed, jumping up.

“
Dadnamit!” She stomped around in a circle, dripping, and madder than a wet hen in a tote sack. Her hair was plastered to her head on one side, and one black linen pant leg was soaked, along with her face and neck.

“
Can I help you?” He tried his best to stifle a smile.

“
No. Thank you.” She kneeled back down, again tinkering with the object of her wrath.

“
How’s my girl?” he called, standing clear of the water zone.

Tess
swung her head around in surprise.

“
Ezzie?” he said, reminding Tess of her houseguest.

“
She’s . . . I think she misses you. I was working in my office this morning and realized she wasn’t around. So I went looking for her and found her in the kitchen licking her chops, with two empty bags at her feet—one of marshmallows and one of chocolate chip cookies. The funny thing is, I don’t know where she got them. I didn’t even know
I had them.”

“
Well, what can I say? My girl likes her vittles.”

Tess
had continued working on the sprinkler as they talked; she
directed it toward the hydrangea bushes and stood back several steps hoping to see it oscillate back in her direction. Still no movement. “Golldernit!” She stomped back over to the sprinkler.

She
tried to get the entire middle part of the sprinkler to move, but once again, it went in the exact opposite direction, further soaking her hair and face. “Ahhhhhh!”

“
Tess, don’t you think you should turn the water off while you fiddle with the sprinkler?” Jack asked, no longer able to keep from laughing.

She
looked up at him between strands of wet hair. Through gritted teeth, she said, “If I did that, I wouldn’t know if it was oscillating again.”

But
she stomped over to the spigot and turned it off. Then she stormed around the side of the house, returning a minute later with a miniature replacement for the offending sprinkler. “I have to get some water on these bushes. It’s as dry as the dust in a mummy’s pocket out here.”

Jack’s
eyebrows went up, and his mouth turned into a wide smile. “You’re becoming more southernfied every day.”

She
attached the new device, turned the water on, and satisfied it was doing a reasonable job, said, “Come on in while I get dried off.”

“
I don’t know—am I safe in there? On second thought, maybe I’d better come in and rescue Ezzie.”

“
I’m sorry, Jack. I wasn’t fussing at you. Just venting my frustration. Sorry you had to get in the middle of it.”

“
It’s okay. I do want to see Ezzie. Your little mishap will give me some time with her.”

Tess
dried off, put her hair in an ‘up-do’, changed into a clingy red dress, and then went to find Jack. She watched him for a minute as he talked softly to Ezzie and rubbed her belly. She was lying on the floor looking like she was in heaven, her little stubby feet sticking straight up, her back leg twitching every now and then when Jack hit the sweet spot.

“
Okay, I’m ready.”

He
looked up. “Wow. You look great. I like that even better than the black pants,” he said, unable to take his eyes off her. “And let me tell you, I liked the black pants.”

She
laughed self-consciously. “You don’t think it’s too much?”

“
I think it’s perfect. Where do you want Ezzie while we’re gone?”

Jack
closed Esmerelda in Tess’s bedroom, and they headed out the door. Tess had been so engrossed with her sprinkler when Jack arrived, she hadn’t noticed what he was driving. She stepped down from the porch and looked out at the driveway.

“
Oh. My. Gosh.” Her mouth hung wide open.

“
You like it? This is Bessie.”

“
Bessie” was a 1954 cherry-red Chevy pickup truck.

Tess
was circling the truck in awe. “Jack, she’s beautiful! I
love
it! How come I didn’t know you had a truck?”

“
Because it’s been in the shop being restored. Isn’t she a beauty?
I bought her a while back, and this guy who does restoration on the side has had it for what seems like forever. He’s been slowly but surely working on it. I just got it back today. I hope you don’t mind riding in a truck to dinner.”

Jack
held the door for her, his eyes following her legs into the truck. He ran around the front of it, hopped in, and held up his seatbelt. “We added these.”

Tess
ran her hand across the rich, brown leather upholstery. She looked through the back window behind her and saw the truck bed, made out of wide, gleaming oak slats. Every inch of the truck was shiny and clean.

“
I can’t believe this, Jack! This is fantastic!”

“
She has all the original glass, but brand new wide, white radial tires, and new shocks.” He backed out of the driveway. “The wiring looks like it’s been replaced, so we left that as is, but he rebuilt the brakes, detailed the chassis, and even put a new exhaust system under it. All the gauges work. It’s still six volt, as it should be. I was tooling along at fifty-five miles per hour after I picked it up, and it did wonderfully. And she only has seventy thousand
original miles
on her. The transmission shifts great, and the engine purrs.” He stopped at a stop sign and revved the engine.

“
Let’s see . . . what else?” Jack was radiating excitement. “It has the optional external oil filter. Oh yeah—check out the compass on the dash—how cool is that?”