Authors: Jilly Cooper

Mount!

BOOK: Mount!

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About the Book

In Jilly Cooper’s latest, raciest novel, Rupert Campbell-Black takes centre stage in the cut-throat world of flat racing.

Rupert is consumed by one obsession: that Love Rat, his adored grey horse, be proclaimed ‘Leading Sire’, or rather champion stallion. He is determined to trounce Roberto’s Revenge, the stallion owned by his detested rival Cosmo Rannaldini, which means abandoning his racing empire at Penscombe and his darling wife Taggie, and chasing winners in the richest races worldwide, from Dubai to Los Angeles to Melbourne.

Luckily, the fort at home is held by Rupert’s assistant Gav, a genius with horses, fancied by every stable lass, but damaged by alcoholism and a vile wife. When Gala, a grieving but ravishing Zimbabwean widow moves to Penscombe as carer for Rupert’s wayward father, it is not just Gav who is drawn to her. A returning Rupert finds himself dangerously attracted.

Gala adores horses, and when she switches to working in the yard, her carer’s job is taken by a devastatingly handsome South African man who claims to be gay but seems far keener on caring for the angelic Taggie. And as increasingly sinister acts of sabotage strike at Penscombe, the game of musical loose boxes gathers apace . . .

R UPERT B LACK	A bloodstock expert and awfully amusing adventurer.
T HE F OURTH B ARON R UTSHIRE	A lecherous old peer, owning much of the county, including Rutminster Racecourse.
T HE H ON . J AMES N ORTHFIELD	Lord Rutshire’s scholarly reclusive elder son.
T HE H ON . G ISELA N ORTHFIELD	Ex-kitchenmaid and James’ very new wife.
T HE H ON . R UFUS N ORTHFIELD	Lord Rutshire’s younger son, hard man to hounds, hellraiser, inseparable crony of Rupert Black and far more suited to run the estate.

S WEET A ZURE	Rupert Black’s blue roan mare.
S PARTAN	James Northfield’s dark-brown gelding.
S EEKER	James Northfield’s white mastiff.
T HIRD L EOPARD	A super-stallion, winner of the St Leger and Leading Sire.

S HEIKH A BDUL B ADDI	Qatari big hitter, newly obsessed with racing and snapping up star horses.
W OODY A DAMS	Delectable Willowwood tree surgeon. Live-in lover of Canon Niall Forbes.
E DDIE A LDERTON	Rupert Campbell-Black’s American grandson, known as Young Eddie. Gilded brat, poster boy and former flat jockey trying his luck at jump racing, Eddie is also trying to stay faithful to his girlfriend, Trixie Macbeth.
P ARIS A LVASTON	Dora Belvedon’s boyfriend. Ice-cool Adonis simultaneously reading Classics at Cambridge and forging a highly successful acting career.
S ETH B AINTON	Unscrupulous, drop-dead gorgeous, middle-aged actor known as Mr Bulging Crotchester and the estranged father of Trixie Macbeth’s forthcoming baby.
M ARTIN B ANCROFT	An appalling fundraising creep.
B RUTE B ARRACLOUGH	A dodgy racehorse trainer, who gets a lot of extra-marital sex.
R OSARIA B ARRACLOUGH	Brute’s sweet, bullied, endlessly cheated-on wife, whose hard work and gift with horses holds his yard together.
H ARMONY B ATES	Excellent but extremely large Valhalla stable lass, more adored by horses than the opposite sex.
D ORA B ELVEDON	Eighteen-year-old smart cookie, besotted with dogs, horses and Paris Alvaston. Multi-tasks as press officer for Mrs Wilkinson and ghost-writer for both Rupert Campbell-Black and a goat called Chisolm.
J AMES B ENSON	A smooth and very expensive private doctor.
L ESTER B OLTON	Internet tycoon specializing in porn, living in Willowwood and as short on inches as he is on charm.
C INDY B OLTON	Lester’s child bride, an extremely successful porn star and sometime racehorse owner.
W ALTER B RANDON	Rupert’s Head Lad, in charge of Rupert’s yard. Known as Walter Walter because he shoves his nose in everywhere.
S AM B RIDLINGTON	Chairman of Panel at the British Racing Association enquiry.
R UPERT C AMPBELL -B LACK	Hugely successful owner, trainer, breeder, who bestrides the racing world like a colossus. Despite being as bloody-minded as he is beautiful, still Nirvana for most women.
T AGGIE C AMPBELL -B LACK	His second wife, an angel.
B IANCA C AMPBELL -B LACK	Rupert and Taggie’s ravishing Colombian adopted daughter, best friend of Dora Belvedon, girlfriend of rising football star, Feral Jackson.
X AVIER C AMPBELL -B LACK	Rupert and Taggie’s adopted Colombian son – a point-to-point rider.
E DDIE C AMPBELL -B LACK	Rupert’s increasingly dotty father, known as Old Eddie. Five times married and sexual buccaneer of the old school.
A DRIAN C AMPBELL -B LACK	Rupert’s younger brother, who runs a New York art gallery. Boyfriend of Baby Spinosissimo.
J EMMY C ARTER	Apprentice jockey and Penscombe stable lad, lacks ambition despite huge potential.
C ELESTE	A lazy, malevolent, manipulative but extremely pretty Penscombe stable lass.
C OLIN C HALFORD (Mr Fat and Happy)	A very nice rich man looking for love.
C LOVER	Penscombe’s youngest stable lass.
M AJOR N ORMAN C UNLIFFE	Retired bank manager and pompous ass, treasurer of Willowwood syndicate who formerly owned Mrs Wilkinson.
M ANU DE LA T OUR	Charismatic French jockey.
V ALENT E DWARDS	Etta Bancroft’s brusque, but intensely kind and charismatic, new husband. Man of the people and ex-Premier League footballer, his hawk-like goalkeeper eyes have found gaps in every market, making him a major player on the world financial stage.
E TTA E DWARDS	A poppet – very newly married to Valent Edwards, and the original rescuer and now owner of Grand National winner, Mrs Wilkinson.
C ANON N IALL F ORBES	Formerly vicar of Willowwood and Woody Adams’ boyfriend.
M RS F ORD -W INTERS	Geoffrey’s owner. Resident of Ashbourne House, a Rutshire care home.
G EE G EE	Gentle giantess and Junoesque Penscombe stud hand, worshipped by Meerkat.
G ERALDINE	Rupert’s PA who’d like to be the next Mrs Campbell-Black. A bitch.
M ARTI G LUCKSTEIN	Rupert’s lawyer.
C ATHAL G OGAN	Rupert’s travelling Head Lad, in charge of horses the moment they leave the yard.
S IMMY H ALLIDAY	Rupert’s Estate Manager.
D AME H ERMIONE H AREFIELD	World-famous diva, and Cosmo Rannaldini’s mother, seriously tiresome, brings out the Crippen in all.
L ADY H AWKLEY (H ELEN )	Mother of Marcus and Tabitha Campbell-Black. A nervy beauty. Having numbered Rupert and Roberto Rannaldini as former husbands, Helen hoped marriage to ex-headmaster and classical scholar, David Hawkley, would mean calmer waters but they seem to have drifted apart.
H ANJI H IROSHI	Leading Japanese jockey.
P AT I NGLIS	Penscombe’s essentially kind and phlegmatic Stallion Master.
H AMMOND J OHNSON	Leading American jockey.
G AVIN L ATTON	Rupert Campbell-Black’s work rider, a genius with horses, marred by alcoholism exacerbated by the contemptuous infidelity of his wife, Bethany.
B ETHANY L ATTON	A beautiful bitchy nymphomaniac.
J ANEY L LOYD -F OXE	Billy Lloyd-Foxe’s widow, a totally unprincipled journalist on the hunt for a new husband.
I SA L OVELL	A brilliant obsessive trainer and ex-champion jockey – a Heathcliff of the gallops, now in sinister partnership with Cosmo Rannaldini, with a yard and a stud at Valhalla doing alarmingly well.
M ARTY L OVELL	Isa’s very boyish Australian second wife.
R OMAN L OVELL	Isa and Marty’s eighteen-year-old son, a jockey.
A LAN M ACBETH	Etta Edwards’ beguiling son-in-law, author of Wilkie , a hugely successful biography of Mrs Wilkinson.
T RIXIE M ACBETH	Extremely pretty and very bright teenage granddaughter of Etta Edwards. Estranged from Seth Bainton, the caddish middle-aged father of her forthcoming baby. Trixie is trying to form a relationship with the seriously wayward Eddie Alderton.
H EREWARD /H ERRY M ACBETH	Trixie’s baby son, known as Hereward the Awake.
L OUISE M ALONE	Very pretty Penscombe stable lass, known as Lou-easy because of her freedom with her favours.
M ARKETA	A gorgeous, voluble, volatile, voluptuous Penscombe stable lass from the Czech Republic who adores horses and the opposite sex.
T EDDY M ATTHEWS	Hong Kong jockey nearing retirement.
T ARQUIN (T ARQUI ) McG ALL	Joint First Jockey to Cosmo Rannaldini and Isa Lovell. The go-to jockey for the big occasion, Tarqui goes every which way sexually.
A SHLEY (A SH ) McI NTYRE	Isa Lovell’s chillingly ruthless stable jockey, a post shared with Tarqui McGall. Rupert refers to the gay Ashley and the bisexual Tarqui as ‘Sodom and Begorrah’.
M ICHAEL M EAGAN	Penscombe work rider and sometime stud hand known as Roving Mike.
M EERKAT	Nickname for Stevie O’Dell. Rupert Campbell-Black’s adorable second jockey.
G ALA M ILBURN	A Zimbabwean carer, employed to look after Old Eddie Campbell-Black.
T HE H ON . R ODDY N ORTHFIELD	Lord Rutshire’s younger brother. A Stipendiary Steward and pillar of the British Racing Association, a self-important prat, nicknamed Famous Grouse because of his incessant nitpicking.
E NID N ORTHFIELD	Roddy’s wife, known as ‘Damsire’ because of her obsession with horses’ pedigrees.
C HAS N ORVILLE	Racehorse trainer, very reliant on charm and the ability to give his owners a good time.
L IONEL (L ION ) O’C ONNOR	Rupert’s workmanlike and conscientious stable jockey.
D ERMIE O’D RISCOLL	Geoffrey’s jockey.
L ORD O’H ARA (D ECLAN )	Ex-television megastar and author. Rupert Campbell-Black’s father-in-law.
L ADY O’H ARA (M AUD )	His feckless actress wife.
C HARLIE R ADCLIFFE	An excellent vet.
C OSMO R ANNALDINI	Dame Hermione Harefield’s son, a little fiend possessing the same lethal brand of sex appeal as his evil conductor father, the late Roberto Rannaldini. Forming a partnership with Isa Lovell, Cosmo has transformed the land round the haunted Abbey of Valhalla into a magnificent state-of-the-art racing yard and stud.
W OLFIE R ANNALDINI	Cosmo’s stepbrother, as straight and honourable as Cosmo is corrupt.
T ABITHA R ANNALDINI	Rupert Campbell-Black’s tempestuous daughter, Olympic eventing gold medallist, married to Wolfie Rannaldini.
T IMON R ANNALDINI	Tabitha and Wolfie’s six-year-old son, bears an alarming resemblance to his Uncle Cosmo.
S APPHIRE R ANNALDINI	Timon’s four-year-old sister.
L ORD R UTSHIRE (R UFUS )	Chairman and owner of Rutshire Racecourse, whose estate borders that of Rupert Campbell-Black, causing many territorial skirmishes over the years.
S AUVIGNON S MITHSON	Cosmo Rannaldini’s stunning but utterly ruthless PA. Used by Cosmo to lead up horses and lead on owners.
B ABY S PINOSISSIMO	Dazzling Australian tenor and racehorse owner, ex-lover of Isa Lovell and current lover of Rupert Campbell-Black’s New York gallery-owning brother Adrian.
C ONSTANCE S PRIGHTLY	A rather pushy vicar’s wife.
S ALLY S TONEHOUSE	Member of panel at the British Racing Association enquiry.
L ARK T OLLAND	A sweet, hardworking, endlessly cheerful Penscombe stable lass, harbouring a hopeless passion for Eddie Alderton.
B AO T ONG	Savvy Chinese teenager, who spends several months at Penscombe learning about training and breeding racehorses.
M R T ONG (G ENGHIS )	Bao’s father, trillionaire manufacturer of aeroplanes.

Mount!

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