Mothers and Daughters (8 page)

‘Oh really. Petra,’ Margot protested, ‘we’re in the time of computers, instant texts, emails and all. You don’t have to set out on long journeys, like some medieval traveller going on a pilgrimage. Anyway it’s almost August, the French go away then –
le grande depart
.’

‘Then he’ll be there,’ Petra sounded triumphant. ‘I’m only trying to be helpful. ‘I’m going to be in his part of France, so it’s only common sense to go and knock on his door.’

‘And bring him back as a trophy, I suppose,’ Margot said sourly.

‘What a fuss you two are making over him,’ Alice broke in; wishing she hadn’t mentioned Frank at all if he was going to cause such upset between them. ‘I told you, Cecily’s going to write to him, he sends her cards at Christmas and she has an address for him and she offered, so I’m leaving it to her, thanks all the same, Petra,’ Alice said impatiently, annoyed with Petra for wanting to go and find Frank, remembering how attractive he was. No doubt she’d grab him as she had once grabbed their toys – and later some of the boys they were interested in – when they were younger.

How complicated everything was. Just thinking of it all exhausted her.

The plane from Singapore landed with a bump and a rush of engine noise at Charles de Gaulle airport, jolting Frank Trevelyan awake. He was cramped and stiff, his mouth dry, his eyes scratchy and he longed for a shower. These flights were so wearing and he felt stale and unkempt still wearing the same clothes he’d worn for almost twenty-four hours.

He’d take a few weeks off, he promised himself, France all but closed down in August when most people went on holiday. He thought longingly of his boat, he hadn’t had time to get it ready this year, he been swamped by work, but this case was done and he could relax a bit now. He’d go to his house in Port Grimaud and sail, let the sea breeze freshen him up. He was exhausted, he’d been working too hard these last months and it was time to let up, he could afford to take a break.

He pushed up the blind in the window beside him and looked out, it was raining, not heavily but enough, the sky pearly grey, thick like a blanket over the earth, quite different from the humidity, the hard light of the sun and the swarming bustle of Singapore. Strange, how you could completely change your environment in just a night, flying across the world. It must have been far more fascinating in the past when travellers had to physically make the journey, crossing land, countries and seas, and able to become accustomed to other races, different scenery and customs by being among them.

Hervey, his driver and assistant, was waiting for him at arrivals.

‘Bonjour, c’est bien passé? Everything good?’ Hervey was bilingual, as was Frank, and they communicated in both languages, sometimes not even knowing they had changed from one to the other.

‘Oui, merci, but glad to be back.’

While they crawled into Paris in the morning rush hour, Hervey filled him in with one or two business affairs, nothing that important, there were still a few loose ends to tie up on a couple of his legal cases which he must see to before the start of August, which was a few days away. He’d finished and filed the article he’d gone to write about an important takeover in Singapore, so after a few days in the office here to see everything was in order he’d escape down to the South.

‘You’re in demand anyway,’ Hervey said. ‘You had a call from an English lady with immaculate but quite old-fashioned French. Cecily Barnes, she was trying to contact you, make sure she had your correct address so you could be sent a wedding invitation’ He eyed him in the driving mirror, his pugnacious features split with a grin. ’It’s in London at Christmas time.’

Alice, the thought hit him, she’d been a widow almost two years now, was she getting married again? He felt a jolt of pain. But why shouldn’t she find love with someone else? She was far too young to remain alone for the rest of her life; naturally, a woman like her would not remain alone for long.

Hervey seeing his expression said, ‘It’s your goddaughter, she’s the one getting married.’

‘Oh…’ He felt a rush of relief, went on, ‘I only have one goddaughter, the rest are boys. It’s Laura, Julian’s daughter.’ Frank sat in silence, staring out at the crawl of cars beside him. He still missed him, missed his calls, their meetings when Julian came over on business or he was in London himself. He owed him so much; he’d been such a good friend. A friend he could always rely on to do the best he could in the situation as honestly as possible.

He thought of Cecily, Julian’s aunt. What a woman, they didn’t make them like her any more, a woman who’d given so much to her country that had snatched away even the men she’d loved, though, Julian had told him, she’d never been short of lovers, which didn’t surprise him.

‘Cecily sent you a letter,’ Hervey continued, ‘but she hadn’t heard and wondered if she’d got the right address so she telephoned the house in Port Grimaud. I was there, as you know, to check on the dubious plumbing. As yet no letter from her has arrived, I think she must have used your old address, from when you were married, but at least she’s tracked you down. She wants you to ring her or Alice, about this wedding.’

‘Did she leave Alice’s number?’ Frank asked carelessly, trying to ignore a surge of excitement. He wasn’t sure he had Julian’s home number in London; they had always contacted each other through the office or his mobile.

‘Yes, she didn’t know if you had it or not.’

‘I’ll ring her tomorrow,’ Frank said, leaning back in his seat and closing his eyes a moment. They felt itchy and tired. He’d had the house at Port Grimaud for years now, with its ancient telephone and dodgy plumbing. Julian had come a few times, passing through from somewhere, but Alice never had. Now Laura, his goddaughter, was getting married and he must do his best to be there, anyway give her something nice for a wedding present. If he went to it, it would mean seeing Alice again.

He’d missed Julian’s funeral, been bogged down with a complicated assignment in India which he couldn’t leave. He’d been relieved, he thought guiltily. Julian’s death was hard to take after what they’d been through, he’d been the only person who knew the truth about it, and then there was Ned and Sarah.

‘So when did you say this wedding is?’ he asked Hervey.

‘Around Christmastime, the date hasn’t actually been decided, or hadn’t when Cecily rang. It will be in London so at least that’s easier than being deep in the country. You can stay in the flat.’

Somewhere, he had a letter from Alice when she’d written to him thanking him for his letter after Julian’s death. He’d found her grief so painful, he wished he could be with her to comfort her but was afraid to intrude as he had not seen her for so long.

Hervey filled him in with some of the news from his office here, small tiresome things to see to and he was relieved when they arrived at his Paris apartment. It was tiny, tucked into the middle floor of a beautiful house once occupied by one family, in the sixteenth arrondissement. Now he was alone he didn’t need anything bigger, it was compact and chic, full of the books and music he loved; if he wanted to entertain friends he went out, there were plenty of good places nearby to choose from.

He gave Hervey the rest of the day off knowing he probably wanted to get ready for his holiday, trekking somewhere in South America. They’d meet up tomorrow in the office to go through things then as soon as he could he’d head off for his house near Port Grimaud, and relax and sail.

He showered and then, feeling restless after being cooped up in a plane for so long, he went out into the bustling streets and walked up the hill to the Maison de Balzac. His mind was focused on Alice now. He remembered when he’d first seen her when Julian brought her to a party, having told him he’d met the girl he wanted to marry, only she was so much younger than he was.

‘Love is love,’ he’d said, amused that Julian had been so smitten, until he had met her. There was more to Alice than her looks, a sort of joy in life that captivated him. Her face had a pure beauty of which she seemed totally unaware, she was slight and slender and utterly in love with Julian.

He was pleased for his friend, of course he was, he should be anyway, he deserved so much, and yet Frank couldn’t help being drawn to Alice himself. There were so many reasons why he could not be with her. Besides, kind and friendly though she was to him, she only had eyes for Julian. He’d kept away all these years, seen Julian when he could, but he’d rarely seen her.

The years had passed now and she must have changed, grief anyway would have altered her. And he was different too, he’d been married and had grown-up children, knew how the problems of life often eroded love. It was easy to love from afar, when the object of one’s affections was rarely seen and then through gilded eyes and while on their best behaviour, letting the love grow unchecked by the foibles of character and life’s problems.

He was too experienced now to be seduced by feelings he’d experienced so long ago, tempted back into a youth that would not return. He’d contact Laura, congratulate her about her engagement and ask if there was anything she or her mother needed him to do, but there would be no mention of him once, long ago, being in love with Alice. He would keep a respectable distance; there were too many reasons, even now, all these years on, why they could never become close.

‘I do wish you hadn’t made those ridiculous remarks about paragliding to Johnny.’ Laura greeted Alice some days after the tea party. ‘He won’t stop saying you are going to take him to do it and Elspeth, Douglas’s mother, is having a hissy fit and of course…’ her face was anguished, ‘she’s taking it out on me.’

Alice sighed, tension squeezing at her and irritation with this woman for upsetting her daughter. ‘I’m sorry, darling, but…’

‘I’ve just come from seeing her, she really pisses me off, she always has a go at me, first it was about Evie having a baby she shouldn’t be – little digs like “it’s so selfish to have children as possessions and with another woman’s husband,” now she’s criticizing you for saying you’re going to paraglide and take Johnny with you.’ Laura glowered at her.

Alice dreaded meeting Elspeth, just the sound of her made her feel rebellious, provoking a determination to shock that she hadn’t experienced since her school days. Julian may not have been keen on the more adventurous side of life, but he was fun, had a wicked sense of humour, and although he would not have approved of Evie and Nick’s situation, he would not have been judgemental.

‘I don’t know why it’s upset
her
,’ Alice was indignant. ‘I’m not suggesting
she
does it.’

‘And nor can you, Mum. It’s for young, fit people. Johnny’s got it into his head that you have done it or will do it and take him with you. He’s a very imaginative child and now you’ve said this to him he believes you and is upset that you’ve let him down.’ Laura dumped her bag on the kitchen table and slumped down on a chair, her face creased with frown marks, making her look quire disagreeable. Alice hoped she didn’t show such a face to Douglas, but then, she thought darkly, perhaps if she did he’d call the wedding off.

‘
I’ve
let Johnny down. I have not,’ she retaliated. ‘I’ve always wanted to try it and Dad would never have let me. No that’s not true, he would have let me but he’d have been so anxious I wouldn’t have enjoyed it, and I may seem old from where you are, but I don’t feel it and Dad’s death has made me feel that I must do things I’ve always wanted to do now while I’m fit, before it’s too late.’

‘But his other granny…’ Laura wailed.

‘That’s up to her,’ Alice said childishly, annoyed that Laura had not stood up for her. In a more rational moment she might have realized that Laura must keep in with Douglas’s family, but it rankled that they expected her to be just like Douglas’s mother, the other granny. ‘I thought that everyone was worried about Johnny being so withdrawn and if the thought of paragliding has brought him out of himself, surely that’s a good thing, darling?’ She tried to keep her voice calm.

‘He’s overexcited about it now.’

‘Oh Laura, at least that shows he’s got some spirit. The psychobabble talked about children today is utter madness; whatever they do they are “labelled” with some weird condition. I read recently that many of these so-called conditions are made up, perhaps by doctors coining in money from anxious parents. Things like high spirits, mischievousness, all normal, childhood behaviour, are turned into a disability.’

It was exasperating that Laura was being sucked into this new family. Alice imagined Elspeth, who was some years older than she was, as a sour, dried-up old woman jealous of the young or perhaps of anyone having a good time, though Elspeth, like her, was a widow, living with the terror of loneliness. Her son’s first marriage had broken up and she must feel afraid that it could happen again, or that Laura, his new wife, might spirit away her grandchildren. She should feel empathy towards her instead of irritation.

Laura got up and paced the room. ‘You don’t understand, Mum. His other grandparents, on his mother’s side, are to some extent; set in their ways too, though they don’t interfere like Elspeth does, and at least they are predicable. You used to be like that when Dad was alive. I knew you were at home or working with Margot, or at your art course, calm and mostly in a good mood, but now you’ve changed, got all these mad ideas, test-driving a car you’re never going to buy, talking of paragliding, extreme skiing and goodness knows what else. You’re going to be a grandmother and…’

‘But I’m still young, even if you think I’m not, Laura.’ Evie’s description, ‘glammy granny’ echoed in her head. She hated the fact that these people were judging her before they’d even met her, though she was guilty of doing the same thing herself.

‘I expect Zara and Johnny’s grandparents are at least in their sixties, not that that is old today, Laura, but our life has changed forever now that Dad’s gone. I love you, we are still a family, but I want my independence to do things
I
want to do without everyone getting upset.’ She stretched out her hand to Laura but she didn’t seem to notice, so she went into the kitchen, Laura following her.