More Than I Can Bear (16 page)

“Is she Mommy's little angel? Is she?” Paige cooed and played with three-month-old Adele. She'd just fed and burped her. Now they sat in the rocking chair in the nursery while Paige got some play time in before laying her daughter down for the night.

“She's everybody's angel,” Miss Nettie said, entering the nursery with a laundry basket in her arms. “Just coming to put little missy's clothes away.”

“Oh, Miss Nettie, you can just sit that down. I'll put them away,” Paige told her.

“I got it. That's my job.”

“Actually, it's my job. That's what mommies do.” Paige stood with Adele in her arms and walked over to Miss Nettie. “Here, let's switch. You take this one, and I'll take that.”

Miss Nettie set the basket down on the floor and took Adele from Paige's arms. She then walked over to the rocking chair, sat down, put Adele over her shoulder, and began patting her back while she rocked and hummed.

Paige picked up the basket, walked over to Adele's dresser, and set the basket on top of it. She then began pulling out drawers and putting the clothes from the basket in their proper place.

“So, do the Vanderdales know they are about to be grandparents . . . again?”

“Miss Nettie, I am not having a baby.” Paige let out a nervous chuckle. “I told you that the other day.”

“Oh, you mean when you were bent over the commode having pregnancy sickness?” Miss Nettie laughed. “You might not be having a baby, and that's your choice, but, child, you as pregnant as a banana is yellow.” Miss Nettie laughed again at her own joke. “I take it you ain't been to the doctor to confirm it yet, huh?”

“Miss Nettie, there is nothing to confirm.”

“Sure it is, and not marching your tail down to the doctor's office to pee on a stick ain't gon' change the fact that you's with child. Not hearing the doctor say you pregnant ain't gon' take away that fact that, child, you's pregnant.” Miss Nettie laughed again.

This time, Miss Nettie's laughter got under Paige's skin. “You think this is funny, Miss Nettie? You think all this going on in my life is a joke? Well it's not.” Paige's voice was rising with each word.

“Shhhhhh.” Miss Nettie put her index finger on her lips and looked down at Adele whose heavy eyes kept closing and then opening. She was fighting sleep.

“I'll just put these away later.” Paige stormed out of the room, leaving the basket half filled with Adele's clothes on the dresser.

It was five minutes later when Miss Nettie laid a sleeping Adele in her crib. She couldn't make it to Paige's room fast enough. Paige's door was cracked open. Miss Nettie didn't even bother to knock. She just waltzed right in and found Paige pulling her nightclothes out of her drawer.

Paige quickly turned around upon realizing that someone had entered her room unannounced and uninvited. “I'm about to take a shower and get ready for bed. So if you'll excuse me, Miss Nettie . . .”

“Oh, no, you don't!” Miss Nettie closed the door behind her and marched over to Paige, wagging a finger at her. “You are not going to brush this off. You are a grown woman. So stomping off like a big baby and running away from your problems is not becoming.”

“Key words, Miss Nettie: my problems. This has nothing to do with you.”

“I'm not trying to get in your business. I'm just here to help.”

“You want to help? Then ask God why He keeps throwing all these monkey wrenches in my life. Ask Him that and then come back and give me the answer.” Every time the going got tough or Paige was called on her actions, she always managed to blame God somehow. Jesus was supposed to be her sheep, not her scapegoat. Looks like she needed to catch whatever it was Naomi had so that the peace and joy could resurface again.

Paige rolled her eyes and then slammed her dresser drawer closed after pulling out a nightgown. Paige headed to her bathroom where she'd planned on shutting the door, leaving Miss Nettie on the other side so that she'd get the hint and leave her room. Well, she managed to close the door and leave Miss Nettie on the other side, but no hint was received on Miss Nettie's part as she decided to say what she had to say through the bathroom door.

“You can run from me too, but you can't hide. My words still gonna reach ya. I'll talk to God all right, but I'm not about to question Him. And what you are not going to do is try to flip the script and be mad at God either, especially not after all He's done for you.”

Paige flung the door back open. “Look, Miss Nettie. I love God. I have my moments where I get mad at Him, where I question Him. I'll admit that. But then here comes Naomi shining His light. And you too. But give me my moments. And right now I'm having a moment. Right now all I can think about is what God didn't do for me. He didn't save my husband. My husband is gone, Miss Nettie. And now here I am a single mother with one over there and one on the . . .” Paige cut her words off. No, she hadn't been to the doctor and, no, she hadn't taken a pregnancy test, but she knew. She felt it—that and the fact that she hadn't had a period. She was pregnant . . . again. And now, again, just like the last time, she had no husband.

“But God did give you what you wanted didn't He?” Miss Nettie asked.

Paige had a puzzled look on her face. “What? I don't understand.” Paige threw her hands up. She was too frustrated and had too much on her mind to subject herself to Miss Nettie's riddled words.

“Then let me pull it apart for you so that you will understand.” Miss Nettie stared Paige in her eyes. “You didn't want to be a divorced woman and pregnant,” Miss Nettie said. “Guess now you's widowed and pregnant.”

Miss Nettie's words punched Paige in the gut. Her head fell downward. Miss Nettie lifted Paige's face by the chin and looked dead into her eyes. “Next time, be careful what you pray for.” And on that note, Miss Nettie exited the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Paige stood in the bathroom alone for a minute taking in Miss Nettie's words. That old woman sure knew how to get up under her skin by speaking the truth. And God knows the truth could pull the skin back and reveal all the nastiness that lay beneath. But Paige knew that Miss Nettie was right in every word she'd spoken. God did seem to be giving Paige everything she asked for . . . and then some. It was the “then some” that Paige didn't know if she was prepared to deal with.

 

 

After finishing up her shower, Paige walked across to the nursery to go peek in on Adele. She wanted to make sure she was still sound asleep and to give her a kiss good night.

“Naomi, what are you doing in here?” Paige whispered, entering the nursery to find Naomi standing over Adele's crib.

“Oh nothing.” Naomi smiled. “Just staring at the little angel who is responsible for all this.” She raised her arms and then let them fall to the side. “This little girl is what's going to keep us all connected. She brought us all together. And even though her blood doesn't pump the same as Norman's, she was his. He couldn't have been more proud the day you gave birth than had you given birth to his own flesh and blood.”

“Well, Naomi,” Paige started. Naomi had just cracked open a door; Paige decided she'd push it open just a little more and walk all the way through it. “I think there is someone else who's going to keep us connected.”

Naomi thought for a moment. “Oh, what we talked about before; Jesus.”

“Well, yeah, Jesus too,” Paige said, slowly walking over to the crib. “I mean, someone who will be flesh and blood.” Paige made it over to the crib and looked down at her sleeping daughter.

“Who?”

“Adele's little brother or sister, who will probably be born in about eight months, give or take a week or so.” Paige said it so nonchalantly, as if she were sharing details of the weather.

An excited yelp tried to escape from Naomi's mouth, but she managed to cover her mouth and hold it in as not to wake up her sleeping grandchild. Huge, excited, tear-filled eyes stared over her hand in surprise at Paige.

Paige took Naomi by the elbow and escorted her out of the room so that they wouldn't wake up Adele. Once out in the hall, Naomi clasped her hands together and jumped up and down.

“A baby? Are you saying what I think you are? That you're going to have another baby? Norman's baby?”

Paige nodded. “I think so.”

Naomi hugged Paige, still jumping up and down.

“Perhaps I'm jumping the gun,” Paige told her after she managed to calm down. “I haven't been to the doctor's yet.”

“Well have you taken a pregnancy test at home?”

“No, but I haven't had a period either. And I've been throwing up. And sleeping all the time.”

“Go throw on some sweats and some shoes or something,” Naomi ordered. “I'll grab my purse and keys.” She turned to walk away.

“Wait,” Paige said, reaching out to grab Naomi, stopping her in her tracks. “Where are we going?”

“A Walgreens, CVS. I don't know; someplace we can get one of those sticks for you to pee on,” Naomi said before heading toward her bedroom to change out of her pajamas.

“But I plan on calling my doctor in the morning and making an appointment.” Paige had come to that decision in the shower after her talk with Miss Nettie, or, rather, her talking-to from Miss Nettie.

“Do you think I'm going to get any sleep tonight knowing this? Or not knowing this? You could be carrying Norman's . . .” Naomi couldn't even get her words out before she got all choked up.

“Okay, okay. We can head out. Give me five minutes. I'll meet you downstairs.”

Paige kept her word. Five minutes later she and Naomi were in her car and pulling up at the first drug store they drove to.

“I can't believe I'm out at night buying a pregnancy test with my mother-in-law. This is insane,” Paige fussed as they stood in line, waiting to check out. “I'm too grown for this. I feel like a teenager who has been doing something she has no business doing and now she thinks she's in trouble.”

“Well, this won't be trouble. It will be a blessing,” Naomi assured her.

Finally it was their turn to check out. The clerk picked up the pregnancy test and before scanning it gave a questioning look to both Paige and Naomi.

“We might be having a baby,” Naomi said excitedly to the clerk, grabbing Paige's hand.

“Is that so?” the clerk said with raised eyebrows.

“Yes. Well I mean, she might be having a baby.” Naomi pointed to Paige. “But it's mine too.”

The clerk's eyebrows rose even higher.

“Oh, no. I don't mean it that way. It's mine and my husband's.”

The clerk put her hand up. “Please, ma'am, no need to explain. I get it. I have cable.”

Paige just shook her head and stayed out of the conversation that Naomi was doing a fine job of creating the wrong impression with. Paige paid for the pregnancy test and the two headed back out to the car. They were back home and in the house in five minutes.

“Where are you going?” Naomi asked Paige as she headed up the steps.

“To my room to go take this test.” Paige held up the box.

“Oh, no, you don't. I want to be right there when you find out whether I'm going to be a grandmother again. Use the bathroom down here.”

“Really, Naomi?” Paige tried to whisper, but her voice carried . . . all the way to Miss Nettie's room.

“What in the world is going on out here?” Miss Nettie said, coming out of her bedroom, tying her robe around her waist and donning a satin cap.

“Is everything okay down here?” Now here came Mr. Vanderdale down the steps. He stopped when he reached Paige, who was on the second step from the bottom. “You okay?” he said to Paige. “Naomi told me you guys had to make a run to the store to get something because you hadn't been feeling well.” He looked down and saw the test in Paige's hand. “What's that you're about to take?”

Paige glared at Naomi as if to say, “Now see what you've done?”

“Oh, go on and tell 'em. We're all family anyhow,” Naomi insisted.

Paige took a deep breath and opened her mouth to tell Mr. Vanderdale and Miss Nettie what was going on: that she was about to take a pregnancy test. But before she could even get a word out, Naomi spouted it off.

“Paige thinks she's pregnant. She's about to take a pregnancy test.”

“Well, well,” Miss Nettie said. “Deciding to face the truth after all, huh?” Miss Nettie gave Paige a proud smile.

“Oh, my,” Mr. Vanderdale said, coming down the steps and taking a seat in his favorite chair in the parlor. “A baby?” He looked up quickly at Paige. “Norman's baby?”

All three women sucked their teeth and snapped their necks sideways.

“Well, I had to ask,” he said, wishing he could tuck his head back into a shell like a turtle.

“Anyway, get going.” Naomi shooed Paige. “We'll all be waiting down here for you.”

“This is so embarrassing,” Paige said under her breath as she made her way to the bathroom.

Mr. Vanderdale sat in his chair tapping his fingers on the arm of the chair. Naomi paced the floor while Miss Nettie sat on the couch rocking back and forth. Finally Paige entered the room.

“What did it say? Where is it? Let me see,” Naomi said as anxious as could be.

Mr. Vanderdale stood. “Hold on, dear. Give the girl a moment to speak.”

Miss Nettie stood from the couch and walked toward where the other three were standing.