More Than I Can Bear (11 page)

“Uh, yes, why, Miss Nettie, I forgot myself that you were even here.” Norman looked to Paige. “My mother sent Miss Nettie over with some groceries and asked her to prepare a couple days' worth of meals just in case you were busy with the baby.”

“Oh, how nice of Mrs. Vanderdale. She sent Miss Nettie to do her grandmotherly duties.”

“Don't start,” was what Norman wanted to say to Paige. He didn't though. He just shot her a look that said it all. Miss Nettie concurred with a look of her own.

“Anyway, Miss Nettie.” Paige stood and went and approached her in-laws' housekeeper. “It's good to see you.” She hugged Miss Nettie. “And do send my thanks and regards to my mother-in-law.”

Miss Nettie pulled away from Paige and said, “It's good to see you as well.” She had a strange look on her face.

“Miss Nettie, what is it? Why are you looking at me so strangely?” Paige asked her.

“Nothing really, or maybe it's just me.”

“What?”

“Do you notice that whenever you start talking about the missus that you end up with this accent like you're one of the characters from
Gone with the Wind?
”

Norman couldn't help but burst out laughing. “You notice that too, Miss Nettie? I thought it was just me. That's why I've never said anything.”

“I do not,” Paige said in disbelief.

“I wouldn't lie to you, child,” Miss Nettie assured her. “Sounding like a broke-down Scarlett O'Hara.”

Norman roared out in laughter even harder this time.

Paige shot him a glare. “It's not that funny. Besides, I honestly had no idea I was doing that.”

“Now that you know better, do better,” Miss Nettie said, she then changed the subject as she began gathering her belongings to leave. “I made a spaghetti pie that's cooling on the stove. You can cut it up in squares, freeze it, then thaw and warm whenever you got a taste for it. There's some homemade chicken and noodle soup I done froze up for you already. On the stove I got you some meatloaf, parsley potatoes, and green beans. You can eat those for dinner tonight.” Miss Nettie pulled her thin, sheer scarf from her purse and tied it around her hair. “Oh yeah, and I cleaned and sterilized Miss Adele's bottles. Took the liberty of throwing that binky out though. Ain't no need of getting her started on that. Them thangs is just outright nasty. Besides, kids don't need pacifying. That's what's wrong with the spoiled little things now. Then they grow up with a sense of entitlement and . . .” Miss Nettie's words trailed off once she realized Norman and Paige were stone-faced while she went off on her rant. “Oh, well. Never you mind. But you know what I'm talking about.”

“Yes, Miss Nettie, we do.” Paige smiled as she went and opened the door for Miss Nettie. “Thank you for everything, Miss Nettie. Please send my regards to my mother-in-law.” Paige said that last line in a purposeful and jokingly Southern drawl.

“You stop cuttin' up, child.” Miss Nettie swatted Paige on the rear as she walked by her and out the door. “Oh yeah, and one last thing,” Miss Nettie said before heading down the front porch. “I washed little Miss Adele's blankets. They should be about finished up in the dryer. Take 'em out and fold 'em up while they're warm from the dryer so they don't get all wrinkled and will be nice, flat, and soft for her.”

“Is that everything, Miss Nettie?” Norman said, exasperated at all of Miss Nettie's instructions.

Miss Nettie threw her hands on her hips. “Don't worry, that's everything,” Miss Nettie said, sensing Norman's irritation. She rolled her eyes and then climbed down the steps, but not before throwing one final task over her shoulder. “Now you can get back to telling the missus that you're in love with her.”

Paige slowly closed the door after watching Miss Nettie walk away. The sense of awkwardness in the room nearly suffocated her. She had to think of something to say, something to do, quick. “The mail!” She hurried over to the end table where she had placed the mail. “Let me see if my million dollar check came today,” she joked. Paige flipped through the few pieces of mail. “Here, these are for you.” Paige handed Norman a couple pieces of mail that were addressed to either him or current resident. “And these are for . . .” She continued through the pile. “Me.” Her tone changed to one of fret.

Detecting the change in Paige's tone Norman asked her, “What is it, honey?”

“Well, it's, uh, something from the jail,” Paige informed him.

“With that restraining order, Blake knows darn well he's not to contact you in any shape or form,” Norman seethed.

“No, no, it's not from Blake.” Paige tore the letter open. “It's from what looks like the prison clinic.” She looked up at Norman with fear in her eyes as she pulled the single piece of paper out of the envelope. After reading the first few lines, it was as if the wind had been knocked out of Paige. She nearly fell onto the couch, landing on the baby's pumpkin seat, until Norman caught her fall. It was like the scene when Norman's father had to catch his mother from falling, only this time there was no exaggerating. Paige really had to catch her breath.

“Paige, what is it?” Norman sat Paige down next to the baby. He then picked up the letter Paige had been reading that she'd let fall to the floor. After reading the first few lines, Norman, too, thought he'd need to be resuscitated. “Oh, my God. Is this a joke? Is this a horrible joke Blake is playing on you?” Norman examined the paper and the envelope for authenticity. “Maybe he found out you married me and this is his way of paying you back, some sick form of revenge. Or maybe he found out about Adele. Oh God.” Norman threw his hand on his forehead. “This could get ugly.” He began to pace.

“Norman, I really don't feel like this is a joke.” Paige held out her hand. “Let me see the letter again.”

Norman continued reading the letter himself.

“Please,” Paige shouted. “Let me see it.”

Norman handed Paige the letter and watched as she read. She just started shaking her head as tears filled her eyes.

“This can't be happening to me. It can't,” Paige cried.

Norman hated seeing Paige in pain, in such agony. He felt so sorry for her. Just when everything in life seemed to be going okay for her, out popped the devil. Norman couldn't take seeing her like this. He pulled his cell phone out.

“Who are you calling?” Paige stood up to her feet and made an attempt to snatch the phone from Norman's hands. “Don't tell anyone. Don't you dare tell anyone. Do you know how people will treat me?”

“The heck with people, Paige!” Norman snapped. “At some point in your life you can't base every decision you make on what people will think of you. This isn't about people. This is about getting to the bottom of this. I'm calling the number on the paper. Now read it off to me.”

Paige stood frozen.

“Read it!” Norman was getting frustrated.

Paige shook her head as tears filled her eyes. “No. No. What if I don't want to know?”

Norman walked over and got in Paige's face. “Are you serious right now? Why would you not want to know?” Norman took Paige's face and turned it toward the baby. “Her, right there; she's all the reason you need to want to know. Now read me the da—” Norman had to catch himself before a cuss word slipped. “Read me the darn number.”

Paige took a deep breath and read the phone number she was instructed to call from the paper. Norman dialed. Once he heard the first ring, he held the phone out to Paige. “Here.” He nudged the phone toward Paige. “Come on; it's ringing.”

Paige exhaled again and then took the phone from Norman. She placed it to her ear until she was greeted on the other end. “Uh, yes,” she said, swallowing tears. “My name is Paige Dickenson . . . I mean, Robinson.” She slapped herself on the forehead as if knocking some sense into her head. Even though the letter was addressed to Paige Dickenson, that was no longer her last name. “This is Paige Vanderdale. I, uh, received a letter in the mail regarding my husband . . . my ex-husband, Blake Dickenson.”

Norman rested his hand on Paige's back to calm her down, comfort her, and let her know that he was there to support her no matter what. Just like all the other trials and tribulations he'd been able to stand by and help Paige get through, he wouldn't forsake her now.

She took another deep breath and gained her composure. “I received a letter in the mail regarding Blake Dickenson. Yes. Umm hmmm.” Paige looked at Norman with a deeper fear than ever. “Yes. But I got tested when I found out I was pregnant. Yes.” Paige nodded as if the person on the other end could see her. “About six, seven months ago or so. I just gave birth a couple months ago. Yes. Sure. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Good-bye.” Paige ended the call and then slowly handed Norman the phone.

“What did they say?”

“Well, it's not a joke,” Paige confirmed. “This letter really is from the clinic prison. And Blake really did test positive for HIV.”

 

 

Paige and Norman sat in the waiting room of her doctor's office holding hands. She'd just signed in at the reception window and had only been waiting a little over ten minutes, but it had felt like hours. The very next day after she got the letter informing her that Blake had tested positive for HIV, she'd made an appointment with her doctor to get tested for HIV. That was four days ago, but it had felt more like a month.

“Paige Vanderdale,” the nurse walked out of the door leading to the examination room and called.

“Yes!” both she and Norman said at the same time, each of them abruptly standing.

“Mrs. Vanderdale, it's good to see you again. How are you?”

“I've been better,” Paige sighed.

“Well, come on back.”

Paige looked to her husband. “Will you come back with me?”

“Of course.” Norman stood and squeezed Paige's hand. She didn't have to ask him twice. There was nowhere he'd have rather been right now than with his wife. He knew she'd need him now more than ever, and was glad when his sister agreed to babysit Adele while he accompanied his wife to the doctor's. He'd been scheduled to be off work anyway and was going to stay home with the baby while Paige went to be tested for HIV per the suggestion of the doctor at the prison clinic. A minute didn't go by after he watched Paige back out of the driveway before he'd gotten on the phone, called Samantha up, and asked her to babysit while he went to be with his wife. She happened to be en route to their parents' house when he'd phoned her. That worked out fine because it was closer to his place than her condo downtown.

Norman packed up the baby and her things, met Samantha at their parents' house, and had just arrived at the doctor's office with Paige about two minutes ago. The wait in the waiting room had felt just as long for him, but finally, it was time for Paige to go back to see the doctor.

The nurse led the couple back to examination room number two. She got some basic information from Paige and then left the room after telling her the doctor would be in shortly to talk with her. Again, the couple found themselves waiting on pins and needles. By the time Paige's doctor knocked on the door and greeted them with a “Hello,” they both nearly jumped out of their skin.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you,” Paige's doctor apologized.

“It's okay, Dr. Benton,” Paige breathed out.

“I understand this is a pretty tense situation,” Dr. Benton said as she sat down on her stool and opened Paige's file. “But like I said to you on the phone a few days ago when you called to make your appointment, I think you are going to be fine.”

When making the appointment, Paige had asked to talk to the doctor personally. It wasn't a matter she felt comfortable speaking with the nurse or receptionist about.

“Yeah, but you also agreed that I should be tested again,” Paige said.

“Well, yeah. Whenever you've had sexual contact with someone who has tested positive for HIV, it's a good idea to get tested every six months for a couple years just to be on the safe side.”

“But there's a chance he could have, you know, maybe contracted the virus in jail. That means that there is no possible way I can have it.”

“True.” The doctor nodded. “But did they happen to tell you when he was tested? Perhaps it had been upon some type of entry physical. Maybe he'd been experiencing symptoms for some time and just looked into it while in jail.” The doctor shrugged. “I don't know, and because we don't know, we can't take any chances. It's a good sign that the testing you received during your prenatal appointments came back negative, but it would be wise to take a couple more tests at least.”

“So, Doctor,” Norman interjected. He then looked to Paige for approval. “If I may.” Paige nodded her approval for Norman to ask any question he'd like. “Are you saying that even if this test comes back negative, she could take another one and it could come back positive?”

“That is about the reality of it,” the doctor said. “But let's have positive thoughts for a negative result. Okay?” Paige nodded and the doctor stood. “Now I'm going to go write you up the order to have the test run. You can go to the lab downstairs and they'll take care of you. And by all means, if you have any questions or concerns, do not hesitate to call my office.”

“One more thing, Doctor,” Norman said. “Adele; she was given tests when she was born. Would that have included a test for HIV? And if that'd come back positive, wouldn't the hospital have told us?”

“Yes and yes. But it wouldn't hurt to confirm and even counsel with your daughter's pediatrician,” the doctor suggested.

Paige made a mental note to do just that. If she needed to be tested again, then perhaps so did Adele.

“Thank you, Dr. Benton,” Norman replied.

“No problem. It was good seeing you both. You can pick up the order at the desk on your way out.” The doctor nodded and then exited the room.

Paige could not hide the worry on her face, nor did she try to. She just planted her face in Norman's chest and put her arms around him. “I'm so sorry for dragging you into this mess. Your mother is right for being upset that you married me. And not because I'm black, but because I came with a black cloud over my head that produces nothing but storms. What mother wants that for her child?”

“Oh, no, you don't.” Norman pulled Paige away from him and held on to her at arm's length. “If you're planning a pity party, you can scratch my name right off the guest list. We are going to get through this and we are going to get through this with our heads held high, looking toward the hills from which cometh our help.”

Paige nodded while wiping the tears that had planned on escaping her eyes. “You're right. Let's just do this. Let's get this over with and hope for the best.”

“Doesn't sound too convincing, but it's a start.” Norman put his hand on Paige's shoulder and the two exited the room.

Paige got the orders for her HIV test and then headed to the downstairs lab where her blood was drawn. After being told it would be about a week before the results were sent to her doctor, Paige headed back to the car hand in hand with Norman to wait out her seven days, which she knew beyond a doubt would feel more like seven years.
God grant me the patience of Job!