More Than Comics (18 page)

And working in publishing in New York was my dream job. It was more stable than the LA one, and didn’t have the complication of being in the same city as Hector.

Being with Andy would be easier than being alone, right?

I could see my future stretch out before me…and it wasn’t bad at all. Andy didn’t set me on fire from the inside out like Hector did, but maybe that was better. In the end, Hector had only burned me.

Hector didn’t want me. Andy did.

I didn’t know how to respond. My head said one thing and my heart said another. “I’m just…I’m shocked.”

“I know it’s a lot to take in. But the last few days without you have been miserable. I’ll do anything to win you back.” He got down on one knee in the middle of the hallway and held out a small jewelry box. “I love you, Tara. Now that we’re both going to be in the same city, I know we can make it work. Will you marry me?”

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
HECTOR

“W
hat are you doing? Go after her, you idiot,” Jared said.

I crossed my arms. “Why? What’s the point?”

Kyle rolled his eyes. “The point is that you love her, dumbass. And you need to make this right, before it’s too late.”

“It’s better off this way.”

Jared draped an arm across my shoulders. “Hector, we’ve been friends a long time, and I know what a stubborn ass you can be. I also know that you’re one of the most sensitive guys in the world, even though you’ll never admit it. Now get over yourself and tell her how you feel before she gets engaged to some other guy. If she turns you down, at least you tried. But if you don’t do it, you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering what could have happened.”

“Shut up,” I growled.

“Face it, you’re a big, grumpy teddy bear,” Kyle said, grinning. “And for some crazy reason Tara seems to think that’s hot.”

“She’s going to marry Andy. I don’t want to get in their way.”

Maddie lightly placed a hand on my arm. “But Hector, she doesn’t want to be with Andy. She loves
you
.”

Impossible. Someone as perfect as Tara loving me? No fucking way. She was sunlight on warm summer days and I was a starless night with cold, stiff rain. She could have any guy she wanted. Why in hell would she choose me?

“She doesn’t love me.”

“She does. Trust me on this one.” Maddie sounded so confident I almost believed her.

Almost.

But if Tara really did love me that changed everything.

My whole life was heavy and there were only three things that made it lighter: drawing, drumming, and her. I was good at building walls, not tearing them down. But for her? I’d try my hardest. For her, I’d give this long distance thing a shot. No matter what job she took, no matter what city she lived in, I’d move mountains to be with her.

Unless I was too late already.

Jesus, what had I done? I’d told her I didn’t feel anything for her as more than a friend. I’d told her to take the New York job. Hell, I’d practically shoved her into Andy’s arms. I had to find her and tell her how I felt before I lost her forever.

“Where did she go?” I asked.

Maddie gestured to one of the doors. “I saw her get a bathroom pass, so she must be right outside.”

Jared thumped me on the back. “Good luck.”

I rushed past them and to the volunteer at the door, snatching the bathroom pass from her hand without a word. Tara wasn’t right outside, but she had to be around here somewhere. I headed in the direction of the closest bathroom to look for her, preparing a speech inside my head. Trying to come up with something that would convince her she belonged with me and not Andy.

But when I turned the corner, I saw them. Tara’s back was to me so I couldn’t see her face, but in front of her Andy was on bended knee, holding out a ring. The sight tore through me like a grenade going off at my feet, flaying every inch of my heart with shrapnel. I could only watch in stunned silence for a beat, before turning on my heel and walking away, choking on the words I’d never be able to say to her.

I was too late.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
TARA

A
ndy flicked open the jewelry box, revealing an engagement ring. I gasped and covered my mouth with my gloved hand, too stunned to speak. He stared up at me with a hopeful expression on his face, and a few people stopped outside the bathroom to watch the scene unfold.

He waited for an answer, but I didn’t have one. My eyes were locked on the box with the ring I’d wear for the rest of my life if I said yes. Inside was a small diamond solitaire on a gold band.

A
gold
band.

I clutched at the amethyst pendant around my neck, with its sterling silver chain. I was allergic to gold. Hector knew that.

After a year, how could Andy not?

I’d told him before that I wasn’t ready for marriage. We’d broken up and I’d never hinted I wanted to get back together with him—and now he was
proposing
? Why in the world would he think that was a good idea? Especially at Comic-Con, of all places.

No, I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t accept a life that wasn’t
bad
. I wanted a life I woke up every day feeling grateful for and excited about—even if the path to get there was difficult. And I didn’t want a love that was easy, comfortable, or practical. I wanted a love that set my every nerve on fire, that made me forget what day it was, that breathed life back into me.

That life was in LA.

That love was Hector.

“I’m sorry Andy, but I’m not moving to New York.”

“You’re not?” His hand faltered, dropping to his side, but didn’t put the ring away.

“No. I’m taking a job in LA.”

“I see.” He nodded slowly. “Okay. That’s not ideal, but we can make it work. I’ll find a job there instead.”

“No!” I blurted out. “Andy…even if we live in the same city, it’s over.”

He stood up and shoved the jewelry box in his pocket. “I don’t understand. We broke up because we were moving to different cities, but that isn’t a problem anymore. We can still be together.”

I sighed. “That wasn’t the only reason we broke up.”

“But…I love you. You said you loved me. We’ve been together for a year. I don’t get it. What did I do wrong?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. You were a great boyfriend. It just…wasn’t enough. I’m sorry.”

“It’s him, isn’t it?” Andy asked, his eyes narrowing. “All this time, you’ve been in love with Hector. I tried not to be jealous of your relationship with him. I tried to give you space because you said you were just friends. But you’ve been cheating on me with him, haven’t you?”

“No! It was never like that between us.”

Except now I realized it kind of was.

Hector was the one I dreamed about when I went to bed and the one I woke up thinking about. He was the first person I rushed to share both good and bad news with. The person I trusted more than anyone else in the world. The person I missed when I didn’t talk to him for even a few hours. The person who made me smile even on my darkest days.

We’d never had anything romantic until this week—but in my heart it had
always
been him.

I realized now I’d been in love with Hector for years, I’d just never allowed myself to admit it because we couldn’t be together. I’d tried to deny it, tried as hard as I could to fall in love with Andy, but the person I wanted to spend all my waking hours with had always been Hector. Andy and the guys before him had just been substitutes, at least subconsciously. Once I’d finally met Hector in person, it made me realize just how much I’d been missing with everyone else.

“Just give me another shot,” Andy said. “Please. I’ll do whatever you want.”

My eyes watered because I knew this was going to hurt Andy and because this hurt me, too. It was hard to say goodbye to someone who had once been so important in my life, but I was confident in my decision. There had been nothing wrong with Andy or with our relationship—but there hadn’t been anything special about it either. We were together because we’d been together for months and got along great and because change was hard. That’s why graduation and moving to new cities had been the perfect excuse to break it off.

But even if I didn’t end up with Hector, I couldn’t be with Andy. I’d rather be alone than with a guy who wasn’t right for me, and it wouldn’t be fair to him to keep leading him on. As difficult as it was, this had to end now—for good.

“I’m sorry, Andy, but I can’t. You need a girl who will love you the way you deserve and I am just not that girl. I’m so sorry.”

He bowed his head and looked so dejected I wanted to hug him. “I guess I knew it was over but I thought…I don’t know. I wanted to put everything out there and see if I could make it work between us. I even asked Hector and he told me to do it. Guess we were both wrong…”

My heart stopped, like the entire world had fallen out from under my feet. “Hector knew you were going to propose?”

“Yeah, I told him about it at your signing. Why?”

“Oh my god. It all makes sense now.” All the pieces connected in my head, making me dizzy. Hector’s sudden reversal. His lies about how he wanted to sleep around. His insistence on me taking the New York job. He must have thought I still had feelings for Andy, and believed he was doing the right thing by pushing me away.

“I need to get back,” I said to Andy, giving him a quick hug. “Take care of yourself, okay? You’re a great guy, and I know you’ll find the right girl for you soon.”

“Yeah. Thanks.” He muttered the words and I hated that it had to end this way between us. I hoped he could forgive me and move on, and that maybe one day we could be friends again.

But right now, I had to find Hector.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
HECTOR

I
t was done. Tara was engaged.

And somehow I had to get over her.

I drew in a ragged breath. I knew I should return to my friends and get ready to go on stage, but I needed to be alone for a few minutes first. The patio outside Ballroom 20 had fit the bill perfectly since it was cool, dark, and, most importantly, empty.

I leaned against the balcony and stared across the marina at the twinkling lights on the water. The sun had set, but I could make out the pirate ship we’d been on the other night, a large cruise ship, and even a huge Navy battleship. On the grass below me, people were already camping out for tomorrow’s Hall H panels, like we’d done last night.

Comic-Con was almost over. Tomorrow, Tara would fly back to Boston to prepare for her future in New York. I would get on a tour bus and start working with the band on songs for our album. Everything would return to the way it was supposed to. I just wished it didn’t feel so fucking
wrong
.

“Hector!”

Tara’s voice was breathless, like she’d been running. I turned, taking in her flushed cheeks and disheveled hair. She looked as beautiful as ever, and it made my heart clench. What was she doing here? Why wasn’t she with Andy?

This was it. My last chance to tell her how I felt. Jared and the others were right—I would regret it forever if I didn’t try to fight for her. I was done pretending, done making excuses, done lying and keeping secrets. I’d just throw everything out there and if she turned me down, well, things couldn’t be any worse than they were now.

“Tara, I—”

“Hector, why—”

We both spoke at once and then shut up. I held up a hand to stop her. “Please, I need to tell you something before you marry Andy.”

She opened her mouth like she wanted to interrupt, but I kept going. I had to, otherwise I’d never get the words out.

“Tara, I love you.” Damn, it felt good to say that out loud after keeping it a secret for so long. “I’ve loved you for years. From the very beginning, it’s always been you.”

Her eyes widened, sparkling with starlight. “Hector—”

“You asked me why I haven’t had a girlfriend in a long time, and I lied to you twice. The real reason is because my heart belongs to you. I haven’t been able to even look at another girl for years.” I took a step toward her, more nervous than I’d been in ages, yet unable to stop the confession now that I’d started. “I know it’s too late, but I had to tell you how I really feel about you. If you still want to marry Andy, I’ll accept that and we never have to talk about this again. We can go back to being friends, if that’s what you want. But if you do feel something for me, then I’m willing to do the long distance thing. I’ll do whatever it takes so I don’t lose you. These past few days with you have been the best in my life, and I can’t let you go home without—”

“Hector, stop!” She yelled the words but she was smiling, her face radiant. “I told Andy no.”

“You…you said no?”

“I turned him down.” She wrinkled her pretty nose. “He got me a gold ring.”

“But you’re allergic to gold.”

“I know!” She smiled wider, gripping the necklace I’d given her. “But that’s not the only reason I said no.”

I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t dare to hope. “It’s not?”

“No. I don’t love him.” She closed the distance between us, sliding her arms around my neck, looking up at me with shining eyes. “I love
you
, Hector.”

For a long beat all I could do was stare at her, too shocked to respond. Then I hauled her against me and captured her mouth with mine. She responded eagerly, locking her fingers in my hair, fitting her body against me. It was a kiss full of love and hope, a kiss that promised happy endings, a kiss that sucked all the darkness out of me and replaced it with light. Her light.

I rested my head against her forehead. “I never thought I would hear you say those words.”

“I didn’t realize it until this week, but I’ve been in love with you for a long time. I should have figured it out sooner.”

“No,
I
should have told you how I felt sooner.”

“It doesn’t matter. We’re together now.” Between each word she pressed small kisses all over my mouth, my cheek, my jaw. “Oh, and I’m taking the LA job.”