More Than Comics (16 page)

Everything I said was a lie and I hated myself a little more with each word, but it had to be done. I’d probably ruined my friendship with her too, but that was for the best. It’d be easier to forget her if she hated me. Easier to move on if she was out of my life completely. Even if it left my heart a barren wasteland.

She stared at me with tears dripping down her cheeks, and the sight made me want to take back everything I’d said. I was this close to confessing my real feelings for her and begging her to move to LA when she nodded slowly, wiping at her eyes. “If that’s what you want.”

“It is. I don’t want anything serious, with you or anyone else.”

“So what happens now? With us?”

“You take the New York job and we go back to being online friends. We keep working on
Misfit Squad
as we’ve always done. If you move to LA it will just be weird now, you know?”

“But….” She sucked in a breath, her voice faltering. “Please, Hector. Just tell me the truth. All this time, have you felt
anything
for me as more than a friend?”

I hesitated. This was my chance to be honest with her. To end the lies and try to win her back. But I shook my head.

“No. Never.”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
TARA

I
turned on my heel and slipped into the crowd without responding. I couldn’t look at Hector for another second longer. I couldn’t let him see me fall apart completely.

By the time I made it out of the convention center, I was running, the tears falling freely down my face. I blinked them back, trying not to let them escape, quickly wiping away the ones that did. It was stupid to cry over what he’d said. Over our two nights together. Over the future we would never have.

I didn’t know what to do or where to go. Everything inside me hurt, like Hector had taken a scalpel to my heart and sliced out every piece that belonged to him. I’d made my decision, had been all ready to commit to a future with him, and then he’d crushed that dream into dust only seconds later. My entire life had been thrown into a tailspin and I wasn’t sure how I could ever recover.

He’d said it meant nothing to him, but I didn’t believe it. He’d said we could go back to being friends, but we both knew that wasn’t going to happen. He’d said he wanted to sleep around, but that didn’t sound like the Hector I knew. He wasn’t that type of guy at all. In fact, he’d often complained about Jared doing exactly that. Had he changed his mind because of all the girls throwing themselves at him over the past few days? No. That didn’t make any sense. There had to be something else going on.

I made it to the Gaslamp Quarter but stumbled into something out of a horror movie. Hundreds of people covered in fake blood and ripped clothes moaned and shambled slowly down the road. Great, a zombie walk. As if this moment couldn’t get any worse.

I had to push my way through people calling for brains, but finally made it back to my hotel room. Once inside, my stomach clenched at the sight of my pirate costume. Earlier I’d rinsed it out and hung it up in the shower so it would be ready for tonight. But how could I go to the Masquerade now? I wasn’t ready to face Hector so soon. Or maybe ever.

I texted Maddie:
Can’t make it tonight. I’m so sorry.

She immediately called me. I was tempted to ignore it, but that would be rude. She’d never been anything but nice to me. I sighed and answered the phone.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“Hector...” I paused, trying to figure out how to explain what had happened. He hadn’t dumped me per se, since we hadn’t exactly been together. “I don’t know what happened. One minute everything was great, and the next…”

“Come to our hotel room. We’ll drink wine and eat ice cream and you can tell us the whole story.”

“I don’t know…” I wasn’t sure I should talk to Maddie or the other girls about this. They were Hector’s friends, after all. Our involvement should probably end here.

“Would you rather be alone? If so, I completely understand.”

The tears threatened to return with a vengeance. Of course I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted to spend my evening at the Masquerade with Hector and his friends, but now I couldn’t do that. My other options were to sit in my hotel room and weep, or hang out with Andy. I didn’t want to do either of those.

“Are you sure? It won’t be weird since you’re in the band with him?”

“Not at all. Trust me, if anyone knows how difficult Hector can be, it’s me. When I joined the band, I was convinced he hated me, but I’ve gotten to know him a lot better since then. I’ll help you figure out what’s going on with him.”

“Thanks, Maddie. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Good. Oh, and Julie says to bring your pirate costume.”

***

F
ifteen minutes later I found myself in the hotel room Maddie was sharing with Carla and Julie. I’d collapsed onto one of their queen-sized beds, watching while they got ready for the Masquerade.

“We don’t actually have any ice cream, but hopefully this will help.” Maddie brought me a glass of red wine and sat on the other bed, eyebrows pinched together. She had on a nearly white blond wig that was done into pigtails. “Tell me exactly what Hector said.”

I repeated the conversation as best I could, cringing when I remembered some of his harsher words, and was biting back tears by the end. It hurt just as much the second time and made even less sense.

The other night he’d said it had been a long time since he’d slept with anyone. Now he was trying to tell me he was a player? Something didn’t add up. Was it because of the
te quiero
thing this morning? He hadn’t brought it up again, but something had bothered him then. Or had Andy said something while I was talking to Miguel?

Carla leaned out of the bathroom, where she was doing her makeup. “I’m shocked. I didn’t think Hector was that kind of guy.”

“He’s not,” Maddie said. “Not even close. I’ve never even seen him flirt with a girl.”

“So what’s his deal?” Julie asked, from where she sat at the desk. She was in the middle of hand-sewing the hem of the red and black skirt Maddie was going to wear for her Harley Quinn costume.

“I wish I knew.” I took a long sip of my wine and sighed. At least I had Maddie and her friends to talk to about the whole mess. I’d worried they would take Hector’s side, or shut me out as soon as they heard he was done with me, but they were acting like they were
my
friends, too.

“Hang on.” Maddie grabbed her phone.

“What are you doing?”

“Texting Jared. If anyone can find out what’s going on with Hector, it’s him.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
HECTOR

I
returned to our hotel room and found Jared and Kyle getting ready for the Masquerade, their costumes already laid out across one of the beds.

“What’s up?” Jared asked from the bathroom. His hands were in little plastic gloves and were slicking half of Kyle’s head with hair dye.

“Nothing.” I flopped on the bed, facing away from the bathroom door. I didn’t want to talk to them. Maybe if I ignored them they’d leave me alone. Ha, fat chance.

“All done,” Jared said to Kyle a few minutes later. “Have to wait twenty minutes now.”

“I’ll set a timer on my phone.”

They both walked out of the bathroom and Jared sat on the edge of the other bed, eyeing me. “What’s with you? Did your signing not go well?”

“It went fine.”

“Did something happen with Tara?” Kyle asked, sitting next to his brother. One side of his head was covered in white hair dye, making it stick up all crazy. The other side was still black, but pinned back so it wouldn’t get any color on it.

I turned away from them. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Jared kicked my bed, making it shake. “Spit it out. What’d you do?”

Fuck, he was annoying. “I ended it, okay?”

“What?” Kyle asked. “Why?”

I let out a long groan and rolled onto my back, covering my face with my arm. “Her ex-boyfriend showed up with a wedding ring. He’s moving to New York to be with her. I couldn’t stand in the way of that.”

“Oh, shit,” Jared said.

“Does she
want
to get back together with him?” Kyle asked.

“I think so. She still has feelings for him. And she’s been dreaming about that publishing job in New York her entire life. Ending it with her was the right thing to do.”

The brothers were quiet, frowning at each other. Doing that near-telepathy thing they did. It was even more freaky because, if you ignored Kyle’s wild hair, they looked so much alike.

“Does she know how you feel about her?” Kyle asked.

I grunted and rolled onto my side to face the wall again.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“It doesn’t matter. I was a total asshole. I told her I wanted to fuck a lot of girls now that we’re popular and going on tour.”

“Wow,” Jared said. “Even I would never say that to a girl.”

“No? Cause I was trying to channel you in that moment.”

“Hey, despite what you think of me, I tried not to be an asshole to the girls I was with. I was up front with them that I wasn’t after a relationship.”

“Yeah? What about Becca?”

“I can’t believe you’re bringing that up again! First of all, that was a mistake I’ve apologized for a
hundred
times. You know I would go back and fix that if I could. Second, Becca knew what she was getting into. She just didn’t want to accept it. And third, I’m not like that anymore. Give me a fucking break here.”

“Knock it off,” Kyle said. “Hector’s just trying to piss you off so we’ll stop asking him questions about Tara.”

Jared drew in a long breath but said nothing. I felt bad for being a dick to him, but it was so nice to lash out about something, at
someone
, instead of sitting here wallowing in my own misery.

“Sorry, man,” I muttered. I sat up and faced them, scrubbing at my eyes with my palms.

“Whatever.” Jared checked something on his phone. “But you have to tell Tara how you feel. Otherwise you’ll regret it.”

Kyle nodded. “Jared’s right. It’s up to her to decide her future, but she needs to know you love her.”

“I don’t love her.”

They both laughed. The exact same laugh at the same time, like they’d synchronized it. Damn, they were irritating. How had I put up with them for so many years?

I scowled at them. “You guys think you know everything about relationships now that you’re both in love and on your way to two-point-five kids and a dog, but I don’t need your advice.”

“Sure you don’t.” Jared said, typing on his phone before looking up at me. “Now get your shit together so we can head out in approximately…fifteen minutes.”

“I’m not going. Tara will be there.”

“Maddie just texted me. Tara isn’t going.”

“Oh.” Of course she wasn’t going. Not after what I’d done. I’d probably never see her in person again.

Good. It was better when we’d only known each other online. Meeting in person had just fucked everything up. Andy would be proposing tonight, and then she’d be busy with him and her engagement ring and her new life. They’d get married and have babies like her parents wanted and everyone would be happy.

Everyone except me.

Whatever, I had other things that made me happy. My family. My band. My art. I didn’t need anyone else.

I didn’t need
her
.

CHAPTER NINETEEN
TARA

A
lexis arrived with her costume in a bag under her arm while Carla and Julie did their makeup in the bathroom and Maddie and Jared texted back and forth. I had to explain the whole painful story all over again, and watched her green eyes get wider and wider with each word.

“I don’t get it,” she said. “That doesn’t sound like Hector at all.”

“Nope, not even close,” Maddie said.

Alexis chewed on her lower lip as she considered. “Hector
is
pretty bad about expressing his emotions and stuff. Maybe he just…freaked out or something.”

I sighed. “But why would he say all that stuff about sleeping around?”

“I don’t know. He hasn’t had a serious girlfriend in years. Probably not since we were in high school when…well, never mind that. But maybe he panicked because things between you two were moving so fast.”

Maddie frowned at something she read on her phone. “Jared won’t tell me what’s going on. Bro code or something. But he says Hector is just as miserable as you are.”

“I doubt Kyle will be any help either,” Alexis said.

Maddie refilled my wine glass. “One thing I do know: Hector cares about you. A lot. If he’s pushing you away it’s probably for a reason.”

“A reason…” I closed my eyes, replaying the memory again. “My ex-boyfriend Andy was talking to Hector right before it happened. Maybe he said something to set him off?”

“Could be,” Alexis said.

I grabbed my phone and dashed off a text to Andy, asking what he’d said to Hector. But he just replied that he’d talk to me soon. “No help there. Ugh.”

“Was there anything else that happened today?” Maddie asked. “Anything else Hector said?”

“He did tell me to take the New York job at the end…” I sat up straighter, sloshing a drop of wine on their comforter. “He must think that’s what I really want! And that I was going to turn that job down because of him.”

“Were you?” Julie asked, peeking out of the bathroom.

“Yes. Maybe. I don’t know.” I set my glass down and flopped back on the bed. “Oh, god, I’m so confused! I thought I knew which job to take, but now I’m not sure. Yes, a big part of the reason I chose the LA job was because Hector lives there, but now that seems so dumb. After today it will be weird for us to be in the same city. But if I pick the New York one I’ll never have another chance with him.”

Alexis sat next to me on the bed. “Why don’t you tell us about the two jobs? But this time, forget Hector. Leave him out of it.”

“Okay.” I sucked in a breath and gave them a quick run-down about both positions and the kind of work I’d be doing at each one. I played with my necklace the entire time, and they listened patiently as I laid it all out for them.