More Than A Four Letter Word (6 page)

Clarissa yanks the door open only to find her
father standing there. “Daddy! What are you doing here?” Her
father, a tall man, with exquisite chocolate skin, and piercing
brown eyes. He has always been her hero. With his help, she's been
winning life's little battles. He's been her fail-safe in times
when she couldn't see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
She looks at him with sorrowful eyes; instead of the larger than
life father she’s known her whole life. He appears as a wounded
soldier seeking refuge.

Raymond Marks smiles at his oldest daughter.
He wishes he could take the pain away from her mother’s admission
yesterday. “Are you going to let me in or do I have to visit with
you in the hallway?”

Clarissa kisses her father on the cheek as
she lets him into her condominium. “Where’s everyone else?”

“
I want to speak with you
alone. I have a feeling that your mother and Aunt Helen didn’t
answer all of your questions.” Raymond sits down on the sofa and
waits for Clarissa who slowly makes her way into the living
room.

“
I do have some questions
for you,” Clarissa said as she sits on the sofa beside her father.
“Why did you marry Mother? Especially after the horrible things she
did to Aunt Helen.”

Raymond picks up Clarissa’s hand and holds it
gently. “I’m trying to find a way of explaining myself without
sounding like the world’s biggest fool. When I first met your
mother, my brother Clarence had just left for boot camp. When I saw
Henrietta, she touched my heart. I was struck dumb by your mother’s
loveliness and the way she carried herself. We started dating, and
after a couple of months, she told me what she’d done to Helen and
James. By that time, Helen had moved out of her parents’ house.

It was around this time that we found out
that James and Clarence’s helicopter crashed. My parents were told
it was some kind of training accident. Losing my brother was a
terrible burden for my family and me. Clarence meant the world to
me, and no one could take his place. Helen went into decline upon
hearing about James’s death, but knowing that her sister carried
his child helped her through the rough times.”

“
Did you feel sorry for
Mother? Did you actually love her?”

“
I’m not going to lie to
you, at first I was put off by her pregnancy. A couple of weeks
went by, and I realized that it didn’t matter because I loved
her."

Clarissa sighs. "Oh Daddy."

"When you love someone, you accept her for
what she is; by the time your mother and I married I wanted to be
the father of her child."

Clarissa frowns at him unable to grasp the
situation. "I'm trying awful hard to understand the depth of your
feelings for Mother. It takes a real man to raise another man's
child."

"The day you were born, I couldn’t have been
any prouder if you were my own child. You’re my little girl, and
you’ll always be my little girl. I know you’re hurting, that's why
I came to talk with you. I love you Rissa, and I don’t want our
relationship to change because I’m not your real father.”

Clarissa hugs her father as unshed tears fill
her eyes. “Daddy, I don’t think there’s anything you could do that
could ruin our relationship.”

Raymond has tears in his own eyes as he
returns Clarissa’s embrace. “I thought that you should have known
about James Wilson all along; however, Henrietta was too ashamed to
tell you the truth about the past. Instead of putting my foot down,
I let her have her way. I knew that one day you would find out.
Secrets have a way of coming to head no matter how hard we try to
keep them hidden."

"Daddy, James Wilson is just a name to me,
you're my father."

"It feels as if a burden has been lifted off
of my shoulders. It's good to know that I cannot lose your
love.”

“
I have known for years that
there is something about me that's different from everyone else. I
now understand why it's so difficult for Mother to love
me.”

“
Your mother doesn’t hate
you. You’re a constant reminder of what she did to Helen and James.
I think that you should go talk to your mother about how you feel.
Hopefully it will free both of you from a painful past.”

“
I don’t know Daddy there
are just some things that should be left alone. I'll talk to mother
if you want me to. I would do that for you."

"Don't do it for me, talk to your mother for
your own peace of mind. Don’t let yourself be bogged down by the
unhappiness of yesterday. That’s what’s wrong with people today;
they spend more time in the past than they do in the present. I’ll
see you soon baby girl. Raymond kisses Clarissa before heading for
the door.”

Clarissa walks her father to the door and
hugs him, as far as her family knows she's still moving to Atlanta.
“See you soon Daddy.”

Raymond pauses at the door before leaving, “I
wish I could say that I'm sorry you ended your engagement to
Lawrence. He isn't the man for you; a man who truly loves wouldn't
have given Roberta a second glance."

Clarissa gives her father a little smile,
"Daddy I don't think I could meet a better man than you."

He hugs her once again before opening the
door. "I know that everything seems out of place, and you feel
uprooted. In time, you realize that things work out for the best.
Hopefully the family will get together for the holidays.”

Clarissa watches her father leave. Who knows
by the time Christmas comes around she might be working in Chicago.
Clarissa goes back into her bedroom, digging in her purse for
Julian Ross's business card. She calls the number and Julian picked
up on the second ring. "Hello Julian this is Clarissa Marks, my
situation has changed, and I want to hear more about the position
in Chicago."

When he hears Clarissa's voice, Julian feels
heat surge through his body. He expected to hear from her sooner,
but sometimes everything doesn't go according to plan. "As luck
would have it, I don't leave for Chicago until tomorrow morning.
Why don't you meet me for dinner at the Ritz, say around five
o'clock."

"I'll be there Julian, and I also expect you
to tell me why you were so convinced that my engagement to Lawrence
would end. I'm not stupid Julian I know that you sent me photos of
my fiancé and his women. What troubles me is how accurately you
gauged my reaction."

Julian smiles; not surprised that Clarissa
could sense his involvement regarding the photos. "If you thought
you could make me ashamed of my actions, you don't know me that
well. I will tell you everything you want to know at dinner. Be on
time Clarissa, don't make me look for you, you wouldn't like the
consequences."

Clarissa couldn't believe Julian's arrogance;
he takes immense pleasure from her knowledge of his duplicitous
actions. "What an asshole!" She would meet him for dinner; question
him regarding the job and his intentions involving her.

***

Julian has reservations at one of
restaurant's at the Ritz; from all accounts the restaurant is good.
He plans to discover information about Clarissa that isn't covered
in his detective's report. He wants to know about her hobbies, what
she does for fun, and her tastes in music. He already knows that
she has horrid taste in men.

Clarissa's attracted to him, but he needs a
timeframe for her to get over her debacled engagement. He doesn't
want to be the rebound man those relationships never work. "Hell!"
Where did the word relationship come from? He doesn't like feeling
possessive of Clarissa. He has to get a hold of himself; all he can
give her is a short, but memorable fling. He isn't a relationship
kind of man.

If she accepts the job in Chicago, he has to
take it slow and try to know her better. Whom is he kidding? The
first opportunity he has to get her in to bed has to be soon. He's
already sweating bullets at the very thought of riding he into
oblivion. How is he going to convince Clarissa to come to Chicago?
Clarissa may not follow a stranger across the country, but the
prospect of an intriguing job could win her over. He has to bait
his trap carefully or face losing his prey. Losing Clarissa at this
junction isn't an option.

***

Clarissa has been perusing her wardrobe with
a critical eye for hours. She didn’t want to give Julian the
impression that she's a woman on the make. She finally decides on a
cream two-piece linen suit. The suit is elegant without being
presumptuous. Since her engagement to Lawrence, she rarely went out
anymore; now that she’s single again she has to make up for lost
time. She sighs, looking at the image in the mirror, who's she
kidding, dating is a gigantic pain in the ass.

Her best friend Alison didn't like Lawrence
from jump street. After their engagement Alison stopped encouraging
her to date other men. Alison doesn't have a lot of trust where men
were concern, but she soon changed her mind upon meeting
Jonesy.

Clarissa still remembers introducing Alison
to Marcus Jones. Alison picked her up from work to take her out to
lunch. Jonesy just happened to be in Clarissa’s office when Alison
arrived. That is the first time she could recall that both Alison
and Jonesy were at a loss for words.

In a matter of a few weeks, Alison and Jonesy
were dating, and now their wedding is scheduled for next June.
Clarissa's happy for them, even though she isn’t looking forward to
being a bridesmaid. After the breakup of her engagement to
Lawrence, Clarissa isn’t too keen about participating in a
wedding.

Clarissa put the final touches to her makeup
when she heard the doorbell. Whose that ringing her doorbell? She
doesn't have time for visitors. She looks over at the grandfather
clock in her living room as she walks towards the door. It's almost
four-thirty; she has to meet Julian Ross at five o'clock.

She opens the door, without checking the
peephole and comes face to face with the last person she wants to
see. “Lawrence!” She tries to shut the door in his face, but
Lawrence overpowers her and pushes his way into the
condominium.

“
Clarissa we need to
talk."

Lawrence seems sincere, but she doesn't trust
him anymore. Clarissa turns her back on him as she picks up her
purse and car keys. "Listen Lawrence, I have a very important
meeting, and I can't be late."

Lawrence spins Clarissa around to face him.
"This will only take a minute; I want you to believe me when I say
I'm sorry." He runs his fingers down the side of her face before
she could pull away. "I love you Clarissa, and I think you still
love me. We owe it to ourselves to try and make our relationship
work?"

Clarissa has to get him out of her
condominium. If Lawrence thought that she wasn't taking him
seriously, he would refuse to leave. "Walk me to my car Lawrence."
Clarissa quickly locks her front door, taking the stairs rather
than waiting for the elevator. Lawrence follows her closely
determine that he is going to talk to her. "If I give you another
chance, what would you do differently?"

Lawrence feels a sense of relief; he
congratulated himself on giving Clarissa a few days to calm down.
She has to forgive him. She's a little angry at right now, well
what woman wouldn't. His first mistake is using Clarissa's
condominium for his games with Roberta. It isn't the first time he
and Roberta have been together, nor is it the last. They would stop
for now until the wedding gets back on track. "I have an
appointment to see a counselor."

Clarissa could hear the fake southern drawl
in his voice. Lawrence usually does this when he showers
unsuspecting people with his disarming charm. She braces herself
for the lies and deceit he is gearing to spew her way. She gets
into her car, lowering the window as Lawrence bends down near her
head. "Sure, tell me Lawrence, what kind of help do you need?"

"I have been told that I have an over active
sex drive. I didn't seek Roberta, but when I let myself in the
condo, she made a move on me. You and I haven't made love in six
days, and I couldn't withstand her sexual prowess. Before I knew
it, we were in your bedroom when you caught us."

"You must think I'm the dumbest woman on the
planet. It seems I don't know you at all, but I do know my sister.
Enough to know that Friday couldn't have been your first time
together. It's just the first time you got caught. How many other
women are there Lawrence?"

"Other women! I don't know what you're
getting at."

Clarissa slammed her hand on the steering
wheel. "How many other women Lawrence? How many other women were
you fucking?"

Lawrence isn't prepared for Clarissa's
accusations. He thought she would swallow her pride and take him
back. "I-I-I don't know what you're talking about, there are no
other women."

"Even now you can't tell me the truth. It's
over Lawrence! Don't come by here again and don't call me either.
If you want to try and retrieve your personal items, they're at the
Salvation Army on Parker Street."

"You selfish bitch! Those suits are worth
thousands of dollars. I could have come and picked up my clothes
there is no reason for you to behave this way."

"Lawrence you cheated on me two weeks before
our wedding with my sister. You're lucky I didn't shoot your ass
full of lead. Don't try to see me again; if you do I can make you
sorry." Clarissa pulls out of her parking space, oblivious to the
stunned expression on Lawrence's face.

***

Clarissa pulls into the Ritz Carlton's
visitor parking twenty minutes after her confrontation with
Lawrence. She takes out her cell phone and places a quick call to
Alison. Thank God, Alison picks up on the first ring. "Ali, please
listen to me. Lawrence showed up at my condo asking me to forgive
him. He told me that he cheated on me because of his high sex drive
and he couldn't resist Roberta. When I asked him about the other
women he caved."