More Than A Four Letter Word (19 page)

Clarissa gave
her a rueful look. "You're my best friend there's nothing I
wouldn't do for you. When I planned for my wedding you were my girl
Friday."

"Enough about
my wedding plans tell me about Julian and his son Micah. The last
time we talked, you were going to Julian's house warming
party."

Clarissa
gets
a far-away look in her eyes as tries to come up with the words to
describe her relationship with Julian."I more than like Julian, I
think I may even be in love with him. It could be a fluke; my track
record isn't the greatest when it comes to love. Micah is a
terrific kid, and he totally loved my playroom."

"Well what kid
wouldn't like you playroom; you have every video game system and
gadget available. Let's get back to Julian, what do you mean you
think you love him?"

"There's more
between us than just sex. I certainly didn't go to Chicago
searching for a new love. I figured that Julian and I could have a
straightforward relationship based on sex. Boy did Julian throw me
for a loop when he started making more than sexual demands. He's
wants me to move in with him and Micah. He's has even mentioned
marriage."

"Are you ready
to become a wife and mother?"

Clarissa takes
a sip of water before responding, "Ali I like my role in Julian and
Micah's lives. I want to be a wife and mother, embracing the part
of me that's been missing. I lied to myself about Lawrence, and
that led to a failed engagement. I would have married Lawrence if
the whole cheating situation didn't arise. When I think of how
miserable I would have been, I thank God for Julian's
intervention."

"What about
your job? Your relationship with Julian could put a damper on
things with your co-workers. You know, people thinking you acquired
your job working on your back. Haters in the workplace always make
for a hostile work environment."

"Well I don't
work for Julian; I sort of work for the government as an
investigator."

"I'm confused.
Didn't Julian hire you to work for Rosscom?"

"He did hire
me, but not for Rosscom. His ex-partner Harland Bankert is my
manager."

"So what do you
do for the government?"

"So far I've
been investigating employees who have gone off the rails. This case
I'm working on now is different. A scientist died in a car wreck
after she stumbled on to something in her department. I'm
investigating the people in her department. My main goal is to find
out what's going on in her department if anything, who's involved,
and what is so crucial that the scientist's had to die. While
reading her diary Saturday night, I think I may have found the
problem. I emailed my findings to my contact in Washington D.C.,
but I think I'll keep digging."

"You don't need
to keep digging, it's the husband."

"She's not
married; however, she did have a fiancé. Uhmm, I'll have to see
what I can find out about her fiancé."

Wow Rissa! Your
life is one gigantic roller coaster ride. From the sound of things,
your move to Chicago has been a good move."

Clarissa agreed
with Alison assessment. "Leaving Orlando under a cloud had me down,
but finding the sun in Chicago makes all the suffering
worthwhile."

"I'm happy for
you Rissa. If Julian is the one, jump on him with two feet and
never let him go. I know this isn't the time to tell you this, but
Lawrence contacted me last week wanting your phone number. I guess
he already tried to get your number from your parents, so he
decided to give me a try."

Clarissa
sighed. Lawrence has to realize that it's over between them.
"Junior mentioned something about speaking with him. It's been
almost seven months he should realize by now that there's no way I
would take him back."

Their food
arrived, and Clarissa let the discussion of Lawrence drop. "How are
things going for Jonesy at Lariat?"

"According to
him things are better than okay, there's been some discussion about
building an addition. The employees are excited."

Clarissa feels
a tiny pang of seller's remorse. "I'm glad that Rosscom is taking
Lariat to the next level. With the proper management, Lariat can
become the number one company in the gamers' market."

Alison could
tell that Clarissa had mixed feelings about Lariat. "Are you
regretting selling Lariat?"

"Not so much
the selling of Lariat. I'm feeling as if have given my child away
for someone else to raise, and he's doing a better job."

"Isn't that
what you wanted?"

"Yeah I guess,
anyway it's too late to cry about what could have been. Did I tell
you that I created another game? It's an adventure game, and Julian
is the model for the evil wizard."

"Uhmm, a sexy
evil wizard, huh. You must have created the game earlier in your
relationship when you still were thinking with your head and not
your vagina."

"I always think
with my head, thank you very much, but Julian certainly has a lot
of alpha in him. Did I forget to tell you about the weekend he
played nursemaid? Also, we screwed like swinging monkeys in my
office."

Alison dropped
her fork. "Wow! Are you crazy? Perhaps I didn't hear correctly, but
did you say that you and Julian screwed like swinging
monkeys"

Clarissa gives
a nervous laugh. "Believe me, I didn't plan on having freaky sex in
my office." Clarissa thought about the heat in Julian's eyes the
first time they made love. "A couple of days later we did it in his
personal washroom."

Alison bowed
her head with worry, what's happening to her friend. "I sure hope
the room is sound proof. That's the type of behavior that gives
women a blasphemous name at the office."

"Oh hush Ali
you're just jealous."

Alison gives
Clarissa the high five. "Of course I'm jealous; the only
adventurous thing that ever happened to me is my first date with
Jonesy."

Jonesy is the
most straight lace non-adventurous person she knows. "Really, what
did Jonesy do, hold your hand in public, kiss you in the car before
the date, it couldn't have been that serious. Jonesy's not the
demonstrative type."

Alison licked
her lips before taking a sip of water. "We were in a crowded moving
theater, and Jonesy had his hands in my panties before the opening
credits completed. Popcorn flew into the air and by the time he
finished my panties were soaking wet."

Clarissa's eyes
become as large as saucers. "Oh my god! I don't believe Jonesy did
that, he seems so quiet."

"Girl it's the
quiet ones that rock your world." Alison pulled a cell phone out of
her purse and placed a call.

"Who are you
calling?"

Alison ignored
her and proceeded with her call. "Hey baby, I'm just thinking about
you. Do you have any meetings planned for this afternoon? Good I'm
going to drop by; I have a surprise for you."

"What is that
all about?"

Alison fanned
herself with her hand. "Girl all this talk about sex has got me hot
and bothered. I'm going to Jonesy's office, and he's going to bend
me over his desk and work all of the kinks out of my
backside."

Clarissa
laughed harder than she has all weekend. "Be careful, Jonesy's
secretary is a charming lady, but extremely nosey. Also, Jonesy
doesn't have a lock on his office door, so you're going to have to
be creative or get caught with your naked ass up in the
air."

Alison plowed
into her food without a care in the world. "I'm a woman on a
mission I can figure something out."

"I have faith
in your abilities for strategy."

***

A
fter her
lunch with Alison, Clarissa plans to go straight to bed. She needed
a little nap before helping her mother with dinner. She decided
that instead of going to some of her old haunts she would spend a
quiet evening with her family. She gets out of the car and nearly
screams when someone touches her from behind.
"Lawrence!"

"I'm sorry
Clarissa I didn't mean to scare you."

Clarissa looked
at her ex-fiancé dispassionately. He seemed a little leaner,
probably a more somber, but he still has his good looks. "What do
you want Lawrence?"

"I just wanted
to see you. I've been seeing you around town, and I figured I'd
never get another opportunity to talk to you face to
face."

"Lawrence I
don't think that's a good idea."

"Please
Clarissa. Let's go to Pete's just for old time's sake."

Pete's is a
neighborhood bar not too far from her old condo. She and Lawrence
would go there after work just to shoot the breeze and talk about
their day. "I'll meet you there Lawrence."

Lawrence
frowned. "Do you hate me so much that you can't even ride in my
car?"

"I don't hate
you Lawrence, but sitting in your car is a little closer to you
than I'd like. I'll listen to what you have to say and then I'll
leave." Lawrence didn't say another word. He gets into his car, and
she followed him to their old hangout. Twenty minutes later, she
parked on the street in front of Pete's bar. Lawrence waits for her
and holds the door open as she passes by, just like old times.
Clarissa plopped down in the first available seat closest to the
door.

Lawrence
ordered a beer, and she ordered a Coke. Neither Clarissa nor
Lawrence said a word until the drinks arrived. Clarissa isn't
nervous, matter a fact she didn't feel anything at all. How do you
sit across from someone who cause you a lot of pain and not feel
anything? "Well."

Lawrence
couldn't get over how marvelous Clarissa looked. It's as if he has
never been in her life at all. It rather angered him that she
continued with her life as if he didn't exist. How could she be so
distant, especially since his life is all turned upside down?
"Clarissa these months since our break-up has been the hardest
months of my life. I keep wishing that you would forgive me, and
take me back into your life. I guess I didn't realize how important
you are until you moved to Chicago."

Clarissa
couldn't contain the smirk on her face. "Most men don't realize
what they have until they're no longer getting their
way."

Lawrence
touched her hand only to have her move it out of reach. "Please
hear me out Rissa. When you love someone, that love doesn't just
die. I'm certain that you still love me and that's the only thing
that keeping me sane. I have suffered immensely for my misdoings.
Mother even threatened to have me institutionalized unless I could
get myself under control. I miss you baby. I can't sleep at night
because dreams of making love to you haunt me."

Clarissa had
the tiniest urge to laugh in his face until she realizes that he's
sincere. "Lawrence I really don't know what to say."

"I'm sorry
Clarissa. I'm sorry I abused your trust and friendship. I hoped
that you would forgive me and put me out of my misery."

The break-up
has been good for Lawrence; he didn't seem so cocky anymore. If
receiving her forgiveness is that beneficial to him, who is she to
deny him. "I've already forgiven you Lawrence. Actually, I'm
happier than I've ever been; somehow, a marriage between us never
would have worked. You were comfortable like an old blanket, but
now I see that we didn't want the same things from a committed
relationship."

Lawrence could
feel the last nail in his coffin. Nothing he could say would change
her mind. "Are you seeing anyone in Chicago?"

Clarissa
smiled. "I am."

"Do you love
him?"

Her smile
turned into a full grin. "Yes. I do."

Lawrence gives
her a wry smile. "You may not believe me Clarissa, but I hope he
makes you happy."

Clarissa stands
up, but before she leaves the bar, she bent down and kissed
Lawrence on the cheek. "I wish you the best of luck Lawrence,
there's woman waiting out there for you, I hope you treat her
right." She walked out of the bar without a backward
glance."

***

After a day of
meetings, Julian finally gets the opportunity to relax in his hotel
suite. He decided that now is a good a time as any to catch up on
his e-mail. He received an intriguing video from the men watching
over Clarissa. Looks as though she had a busy day having lunch with
her friend Alison and drinks with her ex-fiancé. He gets a feeling
in the pit of his stomach that he's never experienced before,
jealousy. He calls Clarissa, hell bent and determined to find out
what is going on between her and Lawrence Tate.

Not surprising
that she picked up on the first ring, she always did when he
called. "Hey baby! How's your trip?"

He
could hear
the happiness in her voice, and he suddenly becomes disgruntled. Is
she happy to hear from him or is she still on a cloud from her
meeting with Lawrence. "I've concluded my business here; I head out
to San Diego tomorrow."

"When will you
be back in town?"

"If I'm lucky
I'll be back in town Thursday evening at the latest. How's your
day?" He watched the video again. He couldn't hear what they were
saying, but it makes him happy to see Clarissa having lunch with
her friend laughing and carefree. It reminded him of the night he
and Micah shared dinner over her place. They were a like a family
that night. He didn't realize how much he wanted an addition to his
family until Clarissa entered his life.