Moore to Lose (34 page)

“I know what you’re doing,” she whispered.

“How can I not?”

The sadness in his voice tore at her heart. Nathaniel was up and kicking up a storm. Mia took Schooner’s hand and placed it on her stomach, “Because Schooner Moore, you are a great father and Zac is very, very lucky to have someone who has been as dedicated as you have been.”

“I haven’t been there for him since the L9 opening. I’ve been so angry at him for what he did to you and Nathaniel.” Schooner put his face in his hands, “Clearly, I have not handled this well.”

“Stop that.” Mia did not like where this was going. “You have spoken to CJ every few days. You always ask about Zac. About how he is adjusting to life back there, how he is adjusting to his new school. She has never once given you any indication that there was a problem. Actually, it’s been just the opposite, that he has a new girlfriend and the first parent-teacher conferences went well.”

Mia watched the myriad of emotions fly across Schooner’s face at lightning speed. She ached for him as she watched him internalize what he was perceiving as failure, his failure.

“Schooner, look at me. Please. You are a good father. Such a good father. If this was his cry for help, get him help. But please don’t blame yourself.”

Putting his hand back on Mia’s stomach, Nathaniel obliged with a hearty kick. “Ouch.” Mia grimaced and Schooner smiled. “Now go shower and I’ll get you on a plane.”

An hour later, Schooner was leaving for the airport. “I feel like hell leaving you, Mia. Promise me you’ll get Seth and Kami and Gaby here to help.”

“I will,” she nodded, distressed that he was leaving, yet trying not to let him have any indication of her real feelings.

“Please stay in bed. I’m going to worry about you,” he cupped her check in his palm and she closed her eyes, focusing on the sensation of his hand on her cheek.

“No worries. You don’t need any more worries.”

Kissing her lightly on the lips, “I love you, Baby Girl.”

“It’s smoochal,” she forced a smile and he was out the door.

Trying hard to control her tears and losing the battle, Mia felt guilty for not feeling more empathy for Zac and for CJ, but she just couldn’t trust them.

“So, have you seen him? What are the doctors saying? How did this happen?” Mia had a million questions for Schooner.

“It appears that he and some of his new buddies drank an enormous amount of alcohol, coupled with anti-anxiety meds taken from several parents’ medicine cabinets.” Schooner sounded tired.

“Ok, so it was stupid teenage behavior that went too far versus serious addiction stuff?” Mia was breathing a sigh of relief.

“It looks like it.”

“Well, that’s good news. That’s a whole lot better than either rehab or suicidal behavior.”

“I guess.”

“Schooner, are you ok, Babe?”

“No,” he was silent for a moment, “We’re lucky we didn’t lose him, Mia. Am glad one of these kids was responsible enough to actually call 911 and not just leave him.”

“Me too,” she said, softly. For as much pain and suffering as Zac had caused her, she did not wish the same for him. Seeing his father hurt, physically gouged her heart. “Was he glad to see you?”

“He’s a very angry young man.”

“God, I wish I could hug you right now. Oh Schooner, I feel so badly for you because I know you and you are beating yourself up right now. And you shouldn’t be.”

“Well, I don’t know about that.”

“I do.” Mia was firm in her resolve. Changing the subject, “So, where will you be staying? We didn’t make you hotel reservations.”

“I’m going to stay here at the house,” silence on both ends, “I’ll stay in the guest room.”

“Ok.” Mia’s stomach started to knot and Nathaniel began to squirm.

“How are you? Who helped you today?”

“Seth was here all day and he cooked dinner tonight. I’m covered. Don’t worry about me.”

“Ok.”

And there was a pang of sadness, one she immediately felt guilty about, she wanted him to worry about her. And she hated herself for that. She was a grown, self-sufficient woman and wanting him to take on any more worries was both selfish and childish. She needed to make things easier for him, not more difficult.

“It’s been ten days, isn’t devil spawn all better?” Seth had just finished the dinner dishes.

“He’s ‘coming along’ is what I keep being told.” Mia shrugged, looking even less happy about the situation than Seth.

“Yeah, well Nathaniel is coming along too, in how many weeks?”

“Eight.” Mia was pulling at one of her curls and letting it spring back into place.

“Stop playing with that ‘Bridge and Tunnel’ hair. I wonder if I can get Sam to come to the apartment to cut off that hideous mop. With all those pregnancy hormones coursing through your veins you are hairier than a monkey.”

“Are you done with those dishes yet?” Mia sneered at him.

“No.” Seth sneered back.

“Well, then just throw them out.”

“Fine,” the man personified attitude. Lifting Mia’s favorite Le Crueset pan into the air with a practiced flourish, Seth loudly dropped it into the garbage.

Grabbing his coat, he did not turn around as he announced, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Mia winced as the door slammed.

Schooner could not get home soon enough.

“Sorry I didn’t call last night, we got home late from the Lakers’ game.”

Mia cringed at the word ‘home’. There was so much wrong in what he had just said, but the word ‘home’ was what made her stomach knot the most.

“Do you think you’ll be home this weekend?” Mia hated asking. She was beginning to feel like she was begging him to come back to her.

“I don’t think so, Baby Girl. Zac is just beginning to open up to me. I really feel like we’re starting to make progress.”

Her anger was starting to surface as she fought hard to keep the tears at bay. “You’ve been gone for almost three weeks, Schooner.”

“Do you think I want to be away from you?”

“I think at this point you don’t really give a shit.”

“Come on, Mia. That’s not fair.”

“Is it fair that I am alone, stuck in bed, with our son due to be born in seven weeks?”

She could hear an exaggerated sigh from him and her anger escalated. “Don’t be dramatic. You are not alone. Seth and Kami and everyone have been there for you and I’m just a phone call away.”

“Yeah, just a phone call away.” Mia’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

“You are really looking to pick a fight tonight, aren’t you?” He was no longer trying to hide how annoyed he had become.

“Is that what you think is going on? Maybe you need to take a look around you and assess what is really going on. Why after three weeks they have guilted you into staying, keeping us apart.”

“I cannot believe you just accused my son of faking things to keep us apart.”

“Well, then let me clarify it for you.” Mia could feel her blood pressure rising, “Your son and your wife will do whatever they need to do to keep you out there, Schooner.”

“Mia, Zac has been going through a very rough time. Cut him a break.”

Shaking with anger, Mia could not understand why she couldn’t get through to him. “You did not just ask
me
, of all people, to cut Zac a break, did you?”

Schooner remained silent, angering Mia even more.

“You know what, Schooner, just stay out there. I did fine for twenty-four years without you. Nathaniel and I will do fine without you now.” She hit end on the call.

He didn’t try to call back.

Mia stewed for the next hour, her anger toward Schooner escalating as each minute passed.

Finally, she grabbed her cell phone and dialed.

“Are you ok?”

“No.”

“What’s the matter?”

“I have a question to ask you and I want you to answer me honestly, ok?” Mia needed to put it out there.

“Am I being a hormonal bitch or are CJ and Zac exploiting Schooner’s Achilles Heel and his need to protect and to be a good dad? Are they just trying to keep us apart at this point?”

“Wow,” Yoli slowly let out her breath, “Debbie and I just had this conversation about fifteen minutes ago.”

“Did Schooner call you?”

“No, why?”

“Because we had a big blow out tonight about it, Yoli. I lost it on him when he told me to cut Zac a break.”

“He didn’t?” she erupted. Mia could hear Debbie in the background asking what was going on and Yoli relaying Mia’s words. “I’m going to call him first thing in the morning and get him into the office with some problem, and then I am going to read him the riot act and open his eyes to what is going on. Zac’s a big boy and CJ can certainly handle acting like a mother for once in her life. He needs to be home with you. I can just imagine the guilt they have laid on him.”

“Guilt or no guilt, Yoli — he has chosen to live there with them — like they are a family — and leave me alone.”

“Mia, if he thought, even for a minute, that you were not doing well … ”

Mia interrupted, “I’m not doing well.”

“I can hear that.”

“He doesn’t want to hear it, Yoli.”

“Well, he’s going to — loud and clear. Right now Zac and CJ have him convinced that he is helping Zac recover. I’m sure the way they are playing this is that he is the key to Zac’s recovery. That man will do anything for his family.”

“Unfortunately, I’m not family.” Mia wiped away her tears.

“Ok, now you’re being hormonal, because no matter what, you are at the heart of his family, Mia. Always. You need to believe that.”

“Unfortunately Yoli, right now I don’t.”

Turning off the lights to go to sleep, Mia wished she could be as certain as Yoli that she and Nathaniel were at the heart of his family, the heart of his world.

“You’ll always be at the heart of mine, little boy.” Mia wrapped her arms around her belly, hugging Nathaniel.

Schooner had still not tried to call her back.

It was bad dream after bad dream, dreams that just led into one another, never ending, anxiety provoking. Schooner telling her that he was going back to CJ, trying to find Schooner at the beach house, but it was empty and filled with cobwebs, Zac sitting behind Schooner’s desk at L9, his feet up on the desk, a smug look on his face, telling security to remove Mia from the premises.

Struggling up into a sitting position in bed, Mia put her face in her hands. Her subconscious was having a field day. It was better to be awake than to continue having nightmares, she thought. She looked at the clock. 4:27 A.M. Seth wouldn’t be there for another four hours.

Grabbing her water bottle, Mia groaned. It was empty. Slowly swinging her legs out of bed, she made her way to the kitchen. As she approached the breakfast bar, she stopped at the sound of someone cracking their knuckles — except no one was cracking their knuckles and the sound was emanating from deep within her.

As she started again toward the refrigerator, there was no mistaking the immediate and considerable wetness in her underwear. They quickly felt soaked. With each step, a small gush seemed to release. “What the fuck?” Mia steadied herself with one hand on the breakfast bar and attempted to reach down with her other hand. Her fingertips were able to swipe at her inner thigh. Bringing her hand to her face, there was no odor to the wetness. “Holy fuck,” she said to no one.

Heading back to the bedroom, Mia grabbed her cell. She hit dial.

“What’s going on, Mia?”

“I think my water just broke. It sounded like when someone cracks a knuckle and then my underwear got all wet and it has no odor.”

“Yeah, that’s what it sounds like. How many weeks are you now?”

“Thirty-three.”

“Ok, I want you to grab a cab to the hospital, that’s going to be your quickest way to get there, and have the cab driver bring you right to the ER entrance. I’ll be waiting there for you.”

“Is he going to be ok, Gary? He’s only thirty-three weeks.”

“He’s going to be little, Mia, but we have no indication at this point that he won’t be healthy. And if he takes after his father, he won’t be little for too long. Now get your stuff together and meet me.” It sounded to Mia as if he were already on the move.