Moore to Lose (26 page)

“Well, then why are we?” Mia was now mustering all her resolve to keep the tears out of her voice.

“Because we want different things, Mia.”

The dam finally broke. “No Michael, we want the same thing. We don’t want to be apart. That is the same thing.” She was now screaming at him between sobs.

“I want to be married,” he sounded resigned.

“And I want to be together. We will never have the chance of anything working out if we are not together. Why is this all or nothing? Why aren’t we working this out? Why?”

And for the first time there was anger in his voice. Anger and hurt. “Why? You actually have the nerve to ask me why? Why? Because you don’t love me enough.”

His words hung in the air. Although stunned by both the intensity of his words and the elevated volume of his voice, Mia felt for the first time that there was a chance to work though this impasse.

“I love you enough that I don’t want to be apart from you. I love you enough that I want to wake up tomorrow morning and smush up next to you and try and convince you to go in late to work. I love you enough that I want to snuggle on the couch with you tomorrow night, eat Chinese food from containers and watch TV. I love you enough that I want to stand in the rain and watch you teach kids from Harlem about rowing. I love you enough that I don’t want to be wondering what it is you are doing because I know what you are doing. Why isn’t that enough?”

He was silent and finally Mia asked, “Do you want to be apart?”

“No. Of course not.” It was the sweet Michael voice again.

“Then come over here and let’s work this out,” and before he could respond Mia hit end on the call.

Thirty minutes later there was a knock on the door.

Opening the door, her first thought was, “Charles is right. He looks like hell.”

“You look like I feel,” she smiled up at him, “Come on in.” Mia grabbed his hand as he walked through the door. “I’m not letting go of you,” she shook her head.

They sat cross-legged facing one another on the couch.

“Do I make you happy?” she asked trying to read his big, sad eyes.

Michael nodded.

“You make me happy too, Michael. And we both said to each other on the phone before that we don’t want to be apart. So, if we make each other happy and we don’t want to be apart, let’s figure this out. Together. Please,” and then in a pleading whisper, “please.”

The man who was always so good with words remained silent. Mia scrambled across the couch and into his lap. Twining her arms around his neck, she laid her head on his shoulder. It took a few moments, but his arms encircled her, cradling her as he buried his face into her shoulder.

“I want you to love me more,” his voice was gruff.

Mia lifted her head from his shoulder, both hands sliding forward to his cheeks. “I’m loving you the best I can. I hope that’s enough.” Silently she willed him, please let that be enough. I wish I could give more. I don’t know why I can’t. I’d say I don’t have the capacity. But I know I do. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you, because I do.

Still holding his face in her hands, she brought her lips to his, “Please let it be enough. I want you in my world,” and without letting him answer, she brushed her lips against his softly and then bit his lower lip, reprising his move from their first kiss.

“God, I’ve missed you.” His eyes looked sad as he shared emotions he was finally permitting to bubble to the surface. “I feel like you are going to break my heart, Mia.”

Shaking her head no, “I promise I will not break your heart. I won’t hurt you. I promise.”

“Do you know how much I love you? Do you really know how deep my feelings are for you?”

“I do and you have to believe that I cherish your love. I adore you. You have made it impossible not to love you because you are so good. So, so good and so sweet. Your heart and your capacity to love me is astounding and I don’t want you to take that away again. I am not letting you out of this apartment tonight,” and for the first time all evening a smile began to develop, first in the corners of her mouth and then traveling up her cheeks and soon spreading to her eyes, “I might not let you out of here … ever.”

Michael sighed and shook his head, “You know I have a hard time saying no to you.” He played with a curl hanging in her eyes.

“That’s a good thing.”

Laughing, he pulled her in for a kiss. “I suppose it is.”

Mia was stretched across the white quilted bedspread on the pine four poster bed, surrounded by classic Oriental blue and cream fabric throw pillows. A paperback copy of Nelson DeMille’s
Plum Island
^x
was just inches from her fingertips.

Michael entered the villa and smiled, seeing Mia fast asleep. The French doors were open and a breeze off of Easton Bay and the Atlantic Ocean cooled the room. Below their deck was a private patio and beyond that the beginning of Newport, Rhode Island’s famed Cliff Walk with its spectacular ocean and mansion views.

Leaning his golf bag against the pine wainscoted wall, Michael lay down on the bed behind Mia and kissed her shoulder.

“Mmmm,” she stirred and smiled, “I dozed off. How was the course?”

“Amazing,” he nibbled on her bare shoulder, “What are you doing inside? I thought you’d be out in the courtyard.”

“I was, but I got hot out in the sun and came in to read and I think the sea air and the breeze just knocked me out.” It was the first weekend in September, the days were getting shorter and the nights had begun to cool down.

“Well, we have a few hours before dinner … ,” Michael’s voice trailed off as he gently pulled at Mia’s shoulder, flipping her onto her back, “and I know what I want to do.”

“Me,” she smiled.

“Exactly. I want to do you.”

In the four months that they had been back together, Michael had steered clear of the marriage conversation and just let their relationship continue as it had prior to their time apart. But here in Newport, at the Chanler Inn, a popular destination spot for elegant weddings, Mia could sense that he was envisioning their wedding in a setting as glorious as Newport.

Stroking his cheek, the words running through her head, were spoken aloud, much to her surprise. “I want to make you happy, I do.”

Pulling back a little to look at her, “You make me very happy.” Assuming she was referring to having sex, he offered up, “Hot tub or Jacuzzi?”

“Hot tub in a private courtyard. I just can’t resist that,” and she pulled off her tank top and tossed it on his head.

Peeling it off his face, laughing, Michael grabbed Mia’s hand and led her through the French doors onto the terrace and down the stairs to the walled private courtyard.

Climbing into the tepid water of the circular hot tub, Michael pulled Mia into his lap.

“We’ve never fucked in a hot tub,” he observed, pushing the curls from her eyes.

“We’ve never made love in a hot tub, either,” she teased, throwing back one of his lines at him.

Laughing, “Touché,” and he pulled her in for a kiss.

Mia changed positions, straddling him and lowering herself slowly onto his already hard and waiting cock. “Damn, that feels good.” With hands on either side of him holding his biceps as his arms were stretched along the edge of the tub, Mia slowly began to ride his cock, feeling the velvety warm water swirl away each time she took his cock deep.

“I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.” Michael closed his eyes, leaning his head back as Mia picked up the pace and started to squeeze him.

This one was all for him. She was the giver this time and she let him be the taker — a role he rarely let her assume. As she slid up and down the length of his cock, she tipped her hips back so that his cock would graze the front wall of her pussy, making her gasp with each stroke as she forced herself down harder to take him deeper and deeper.

Watching his face, she could tell he was close to coming. Leaning forward, she whispered in his ear, “I love you,” and he let out a guttural moan, his arms immediately coming off the back of the hot tub as he grabbed her hips and forced them down onto him. Mia wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled him. “That was so good,” she whispered and stayed with him inside of her for a while before she shifted and snuggled into the warm water next to him.

They sat until twilight descended and a colossal full orange moon rose just above the horizon and hung there, stealing the show in the September evening sky.

“I don’t want to go home tomorrow.” Mia was starting to pout.

“Me neither.” Michael sighed, “This is a moment I want to stay in forever.”

Mia snuggled tighter into him, “Me too.” She brought his arms that were around her to her lips and gently kissed them.

What she couldn’t see behind her was the smile on Michael Portman’s face and in his eyes. Mia Silver wanted to make him happy and she did. More than she would ever know.

Seth sat across from Mia, laptop in front of him on her desk as they reviewed the agenda for the Tuesday afternoon weekly staff meeting, “Here’s what I’ve got, he began, “start with campaign review by account management and production. Print is up first, direct mail next, media, events and then PR.” Mia nodded her approval and he continued, “Dave’s going to then give us a tech update and we’ll finish up with sales.”

“I looked through everyone’s reports, I didn’t see any red flags that need to be addressed first, did you?”

Seth shook his head no. “Summer vacations are over, so everyone appears to be really focused and there is that Q3 contest running through the end of the month and those bitches out there will plow each other down like linebackers to win it.”

Mia looked up from her laptop and laughed at Seth’s comment. He was now looking past Mia’s shoulder out the window behind her. His face darkened, perplexed, brows knit together. Mia cocked her head, wondering what was bringing on this look.

Seth gasped, followed immediately by a blood curdling scream, “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.” His hand flew to his mouth as all color drained from his face. He weakly pointed past Mia and scrambled up from his chair, nearly knocking it over.

Mia turned around to see what was causing the reaction. She heard a scream, not realizing at first that the sound was emanating from her. Rushing to the window, “Oh my God, it’s One World Trade Center. What happened?”

“It was a plane, I saw a plane fly into it.”

“Oh my God, it’s below Michael’s floor.” Mia held onto the window frame as the realization made her knees start to buckle. The steps back to her desk to grab her cell phone seemed as if they were in slow motion, her legs heavy and not moving. Grabbing her phone, she hit Michael’s speed dial number.

“Are you ok?” Relieved to hear his voice, the tears started to stream down her face.

“Yes. Do you know what happened?” Mia could hear chaotic noise in the background.

“A plane hit the building.”

“I’ve got Mia on the phone,” Michael was shouting out to colleagues, “she said we were hit by a plane,” and then to Mia, “Was it some idiot in a Cessna?”

Mia turned to Seth, “Was it like a little Cessna or something?”

Shaking his head, arms wrapped tightly around his stomach, “It looked like a jet. It was flying really low. It was huge.”

“Michael, Seth saw it out my window, he thinks it was a jet. You’ve got to get out of there, Baby.”

“I know, let me see what we’ve got to do to evacuate. I’ll call you back in a few minutes.” Michael hung up and Mia hugged her cell phone to her chest. Staff started to come into her office and they all stood looking at the burning sentinel to their south. Mia kept looking at her phone, willing it to ring.

At 9:02 A.M. Mia’s phone rang. “Were you able to get out?” Her voice was panicked.

“We’re trapped and it’s filling up with black smoke.”

“Michael, can you get to the roof?” Don’t fall apart, she willed herself. They’ll get them out of there. This is New York, they must have all kinds of emergency helicopters and equipment.

“Everything is blocked, Mia.”

“Baby, I’m sure help is on the way. They will get you out of there.” She turned to her staff, “Call 911 and let them know there are people trapped on the 105th floor.”

Standing at the window, watching the plumes of smoke rise from the tower, she saw the plane coming in from the south. Her initial thought (which didn’t actually make sense, but nothing made sense that morning) was that the plane was coming to help them. Here was the relief coming in to get Michael and the others out of there. The plane rammed into Two World Trade Center blasting the facade and plowing straight through the building, the jet’s nose a fireball punching out the opposite side of the building.

Mia screamed. “What was that?” Michael’s voice sounded panicked for the first time.

“Oh my God, Michael. Oh my God. Another plane just hit Two World Trade.”

“Holy fuck, we’re under attack.”

Starting to sob, “There’s got to be a way out. Michael, you have to get out.”

“Hold on a sec, Mia. We’re going to try and break a window. We need to get air in here.”

Mia heard a crash in the background.

“Ok, we’ve got some air and it’s letting the smoke out.”

“Stay close to it, Michael.”

Coughing, “I don’t think I’m getting out of here, Mia.”

“Yes, you are. Help is going to come. We just called. They’re going to get you. They know where you are. We told them. You’re going to be home with me tonight. You are.”

“That’s where I want to be. It’s getting so hot in here.”

“Hang tight, baby, they are coming for you. We’re going to get you out of there.”

“We are just filling with black smoke really fast.”

“Stay close to the window, Michael. They’ll be there soon to get you out and then you and I are getting the hell out of here and going right back to Newport or someplace quiet.”

“Yeah. Let’s get out of here,” he managed between coughs, the irony slicing Mia to shreds.

“Or maybe we’ll go to Scotland, you can golf at St. Andrews and I can take photos in the highlands. Michael, are you still with me?” Anything to keep him fighting, hanging on — until help arrived.